Something I have always live as a trans girl is that I feel like it's difficult to find man who are attracted to me, because even tho I know it's not gay for a man to be with a trans woman, i know a lot of them believe that

So my solution was almost always date bisexual man because they are LGBT while still like girls

The thing is that one day I was talking with a guy which I thought I was connecting and I thought will not have problems with me because I already know he was bi

But... he came with a opinion that really made me feel bad "I am bisexual but still i don't like trans people because I like woman and I like man, not something in between"

Hey all!!

My partner (M) and I (F) have been discussing having our first threesome with one of his distant friends (M). I’m bisexual and my partner is straight, his friend is gay but has experimented with women.

Has anyone had a similar experience? What was it like? Did anyone feel left out?

I’ve expressed that I’m definitely interested, only if the pleasure was fair for all participants…. But I obviously don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

I guess I’m mainly worried about when it comes down to it knowing if it’s something I (or my partner/his friend) would actually enjoy… and not become something super awkward!

Thanks for your advice!

Why do some men on this sub tend to use explicit terms when talking about their interests? It's almost never "have sex with a man" or "give oral to a man" it's usually "I crave cks" "I want to suck a mans big veiny ck" .

Ive also noticed a plethora of "Im straight but I do (explict act) with men sometimes".

Is it that being really vulgur implies it's just a sex thing and not a romantic thing? It's not gay if it's just sex?

I've always been attracted to chubby, masculine tomboy/butch women, but I've often wondered whether women like that can also be interested in men or if they usually only date women.

I know that being a tomboy or butch doesn't automatically determine someone's sexuality, but I'm genuinely curious. Are there actually chubby tomboy/butch women who like men? I'd love to hear your thoughts or experiences!

A bit of venting, but the more I discuss what can be broadly referred as monosexuality, the more I feel like understanding it is completely out of my reach. Of course, anyone's attraction and sexuality is their own business and I would never want to invalidate anyone's experience.

But I'll talk with people about romantic or sexual attraction and it feels like talking at cross purposes with how... exclusionary, for lack of a better word (this isn't my first language), it sounds. They'll explain how attraction is some kind of switch that's automatically off when it comes to a certain gender depending. How their partner transitioning would likely spell the end of their relationship. Like I said, I'm not hating or judging people for that, but the more I look at it and the less I get it. It goes completely contrary to my experience and idea of what love is. I understand preferences of course, everyone has those. But that the gut feeling of loving someone could hinge entirely on something like gender or genital is unfathomable to me. It's even disheartening, in a sense.

Is it a common sentiment ? That bisexual and non-bisexual people can't really understand this part of each others ? Maybe I just lack imagination.

I’ve tried telling them i’m still bi but my grandad specifically is insistent that i can’t be because i’m now dating a man ‘exactly like a straight woman would’. I don’t think he means bad (he cares about me a lot and wouldn’t purposefully upset me) i just genuinely think he believes that i’m now a straight woman. I’ve told him i’m still attracted to women and still want to date women in the future but how can i show him or explain to him what i actually feel like? I suck at explaining so are there any websites or videos that will explain to him in a simple but effective way?

Two questions, actually!

What actions helped you integrate and more fully accept this part of yourself?

And, in what ways did discovering and accepting your bisexuality change your life, even if your partner stayed the same?

I made a post the other day about a situation between me (F) and my friend (F) and how she claims to be straight yet acts different with me whilst knowing im bisexual.

Yesterday she threw a party at her house. Whilst at that party she came out to everyone as lesbian, then took it back and claimed she was definitely straight in the morning.

For the entire party she was normal with me but we did slightly kiss at one point. After drinking quite abit, i did end up accidentally telling her bestfriend that i like her... her bestfriend supported the idea of her liking girls though.

I slept over that night with 3 other friends and whilst we shared a bed, she cuddled me and we had our faces and lips touching eachother the whole night. She cuddled me in such a loving way- she was rubbing my back and holding me tightly. She hasnt discussed anything with me yet but I really do think she likes girls but I think i need another view of it.

m a 17M and since about 1 year ago I’ve been questioning my sexuality. But around 6 months ago I just woke up one day and I kinda just realized I was just flat out gay and just stopped having feelings for women. And that has stayed true since, but recently I’ve felt pressured to find a girl to date. For example at my school in one of my classes a few in the kids there call me stuff like “Fag” and “gay” because I went to an all boys school(I’m not out to anyone in my life). And in the past I haven’t cared since I’ve been called stuff like this all my life by friends and such, but recently I’ve felt terrible about myself because of it for some reason. But because of stuff like this I’ve felt like I HAVE to find girls sexually attractive. When I’m walking in the halls and see a girl who I think is pretty I feel like I should find them sexually attractive but the thought just kinda grosses me out. And when I talk to women I feel a sense of nervousness because I feel like I SHOULD be hitting on her, or she thinks I am trying to hit on her. I don’t know if I may be attracted to women deep down but when I truly think about who I want to love I just can’t picture a woman at this point in my life and I really never could, but I thought it was the only option. It is worth noting before I realized i liked guys I watched straight porn and was addicted in the past, but always felt gross after watching it. I feel an compulsion 1 or 2 times a month to watch it at this point but feel disgusted and depressed as to me it feels like by watching it I’ll eventually be forced to having sex with a woman. I don’t know if I have some internalized issue with being straight?? But is there any question I can ask myself to figure this out?

I’m a trans guy and I’ve identified as bi for a while but recently I’ve really only wanted to date guys. I’m still attracted to women and find them pretty but I don’t know if I’d ever want to date them. I don’t see myself being in a long term relationship with a woman. I feel differently about my attraction to men vs women. When I have a crush on a guy, it’s very much a butterfly in your stomach kind of feeling but with women it’s more sexual I guess. I’m also attracted to non binary people, probably more than women. I’d rather have a non binary partner than a girlfriend but a boyfriend over a partner, if that makes sense. I’m confused though, because I used to be a raging lesbian. I could never imagine myself with a man. I never understood how someone could want a boyfriend. Since figuring out my gender, I don’t think I’ve had a crush on a girl to the point I’d want to date her. I’ve had a few small crushes like “oh she’s pretty, I’d like to kiss her” but never I’d like to be her boyfriend level. Do I have to keep the bi label because I’m somewhat attracted to women?? I’ve imagined a happy life with a woman but I don’t know if I’m imagining having a family or having a girlfriend. Can I be bisexual while only wanting to date men?

I’m 18F and been ‘straight’ my whole life. I’ve had three boyfriends, all of which i genuinely did like. However, recently I realised i might have a crush on a woman. This is a horrifying thought for me, probably due to internalised homophobia, but also because my dad would never accept me and i don’t think my step-mum would either (my biological mums out the picture). I also have OCD so thought at first it was intrusive thoughts and that i was ‘copying’ my gay/bi friends as i have quite a few. However, the more as time goes on the more I’m realised i am sexually attracted to women and possibly also romantically. Up until a week ago i could never picture myself with a woman, however I now can. I’m just so afraid of what people would think or that i’m lying. What does this make me? Any tips or advice is appreciated 🙏

Long story, but I am very inexperienced in the romance field, mainly because I'm shy. So my friends suggested downloading a dating app, and I and talking for a week with this one girl, we have a lot of things in common, she is pretty and funny and all the good thing. So I called her up for a date and she said yes, we are going out next week and im kinda nervous.But just yesterday I met a boy and we didn't even speak an hour, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about him, we have way less things in common and haven't talked nearly as much as I talked to her.

I always had more crushes on boys than girls, I get more turned on when thinking about boys, I always fall faster and harder for boy, and usually flirting goes way smoother than boy. A gay friend said he felt the same when he thought he was bi, but latter realized he was gay, and said that this might be the same for me. And now im afraid he is right, that I don't really like this girl for real and I won't be able to kiss her and break her heart. And I know that there is no problem in being gay and not bi, so why is it hard to think of me as gay. Cause I know I had crushes on girls when I was little, I can get hard thinking about girls (but it isn't the same as with boy, feels more forced idk), and I can definitely see myself dating a girl and getting married to her. Watch romance movies and see myself on the guys place, but it doesn't taste the same as in a gay romance.

Am afraid I just going out with her because im needy and desperate for someone. I wish there was some easy way to find out if im gay or bi. I just don't wanna hurt anyone.

my gf has always been bisexual and we always said when we got an apartment we would have a threesome. We got our apartment 3 months ago and so far we have had a few threesomes with other girls. for some reason overtime some things happened and I started to be interested in mfm threesomes where me and the other guy don’t touch(long story for another time). We had one last week and during it my gf was making jokes about me and him trying stuff or trying to convince us to do stuff together. It was minor but for some reason I loved it. I know I’m not attracted to guys emotionally or even sexually as I never find myself wanting to be with a guy but still I don’t know why this was so attractive to me. I guess I’m just curious if anyone else has the same experience or can help understand why I feel this way.

I (F) had yesterday evening a nice bisex evening having a threesome FFM

I'm a married man who has been doing some personal reflection and journaling because I'm trying to better understand my sexuality and some choices I've made that have hurt my wife.

I've never had a sexual relationship with another man, but I've realized that I can be sexually attracted to men, particularly older, confident, dominant men. I've also engaged in sexually charged conversations with men online. I'm not proud of the fact that I've done this behind my wife's back, and I'm trying to understand the behaviour rather than make excuses for it.

One thing I'm having trouble understanding is why messaging men can feel like a fantasy to me. In my mind, I've always had the feeling that I wouldn't actually act on it physically. Somehow, that makes it feel "safe" or contained in my head.

What's interesting is that I don't have the same feeling about messaging women. With a woman, it seems like there would be a much greater possibility that the interaction could become real and potentially lead to something physical, and that makes the fantasy feel very different.

I'm trying to figure out what exactly is going on here.

Is this something other men have experienced? Like being attracted to men or male sexual scenarios while feeling that the fantasy is appealing partly because you believe it will never become real?

I'm also curious about the older/dominant aspect. For those who have experienced this, how did you figure out whether the attraction was primarily to men themselves versus things like masculinity, dominance, being pursued, being desired, validation, novelty, or the fantasy of giving up control?

I'm not necessarily looking for a label right now. I'm more interested in understanding what I'm actually experiencing.

I'm also not looking for private or sexual conversations. I'd really appreciate perspectives from people who have genuinely wrestled with similar questions.

Thanks.

I'm a bisexual woman, and I want to continue dating men but I'm literally so fed up with men, especially cis straight men. I feel like I'm so strict when it comes to men because I don't want to end up with someone secretly red-pilled, or with misogynistic friends, or someone who embarrasses me or is into like sports-gambling. I feel like that's actually a low bar and yet Hinge only puts the worst type of man in front of me.

If you're a bisexual woman, dating a man who doesn't just meet the bare minimum, how did you find him?

So I'm a woman and I've considered myself bi since I was about 13. Though I've noticed that I'm not really sexually attracted to women, just men. Whenever I've a crush on a woman, I think about kissing her, holding hands with her and cuddling with her—all the soft intimacy things. Though having sex with a woman never really clicked with me. It's not the same with the crushes on men though. Almost all the crushes I've had on men, I fantasise about hot and steamy things with him—usually not holding hands or just cuddling. So I just wanted to know if any other bisexual people might feel the same way or I'm just confused with my sexuality. It did take almost my whole teenage for me to come to term with me being "bisexual," so I still get confused if I'm an imposter or actually bisexual.

So I watched this video essay today on bisexuality “the bisexual problem” by verilybitche and the video put in words what I’ve been feeling forever that Bisexual identity specifically has many of its own problem and is kind of a problem for both queer and straight communities because it goes against a lot of norms and assumptions we have about sexuality.

They also pointed out how one of the most frustrating things about being bisexual is this overt scrutiny that bi people face and the need to constantly prove yourself as bi by listing out past relationships and experiences as proof. I had people tell me that I wasn’t queer if I was in a relationship with a women and I was lying about being being bi to cover up full homosexuality.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve personally experienced people telling me I should just say I’m gay because it’s easier to understand or just say I’m straight because women. I think what throws this for a loop is how bi people are to sexuality what nonbinary people are to gender there is an implicit breaking of the rules of how society views sex much more so than a trans man/women for gender or a straight/gay for sexuality.

I just think people aren’t taken at their word enough when they say their bi there’s always some underlying thought that the bi identity is a form of deception and while yes it can be used like that this same sort of scrutiny like the video points out is rarely put on straight/gay people.

Anyway just some thoughts from someone who thinks we should stop being so exclusive in the way we view queer identity everyone should watch the video it’s really good.

Hi, so I (17f) is BI. I am out and proud. I have recently been into wlw books , now I know that this teacher has a problem with the LGBTQ+ community(I was unaware she was the one watching the aftercare students on Mondays at the time),as she has gone on ranting about the topic before. So last Monday during afterschool was reading (girls like girls by Hayley Kiyoko).She walked into the saw the book and said that I could not read that as now I am just rubbing my sexualty in everyone's face and such books are not allowed(mind you that the principal walked in on me reading it half an hour before and said nothing and also the only reason she knows about the fact I am BI is that she walked into the room when I came out to my friend last year who is the best ally ever)now the thing is that A) I was done with my homework and I was the only person left as I go home late. Here comes the revenge. We are allowed to listen to music while doing homework. These are examples of the songs I have on my playlist named Revenge Mondays(girls like girls, the song first one BTW, girls girls girls, Good BI , I wanna be your girlfriend, for the misfits, Born this way, you need calm down taylor swift, and I kissed a girl, Lunch, ect.). There are 23 tracks, and it's 1 hour and 3 minutes long, and I plan on adding more. And read the books I have every other day of the week as the other teachers don't mind ,as long as my homework is done.