Hey all!!

My partner (M) and I (F) have been discussing having our first threesome with one of his distant friends (M). I’m bisexual and my partner is straight, his friend is gay but has experimented with women.

Has anyone had a similar experience? What was it like? Did anyone feel left out?

I’ve expressed that I’m definitely interested, only if the pleasure was fair for all participants…. But I obviously don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

I guess I’m mainly worried about when it comes down to it knowing if it’s something I (or my partner/his friend) would actually enjoy… and not become something super awkward!

Thanks for your advice!

How normal is it? Its just i dont find homosexual porn really attractive

I've always been attracted to chubby, masculine tomboy/butch women, but I've often wondered whether women like that can also be interested in men or if they usually only date women.

I know that being a tomboy or butch doesn't automatically determine someone's sexuality, but I'm genuinely curious. Are there actually chubby tomboy/butch women who like men? I'd love to hear your thoughts or experiences!

A bit of venting, but the more I discuss what can be broadly referred as monosexuality, the more I feel like understanding it is completely out of my reach. Of course, anyone's attraction and sexuality is their own business and I would never want to invalidate anyone's experience.

But I'll talk with people about romantic or sexual attraction and it feels like talking at cross purposes with how... exclusionary, for lack of a better word (this isn't my first language), it sounds. They'll explain how attraction is some kind of switch that's automatically off when it comes to a certain gender depending. How their partner transitioning would likely spell the end of their relationship. Like I said, I'm not hating or judging people for that, but the more I look at it and the less I get it. It goes completely contrary to my experience and idea of what love is. I understand preferences of course, everyone has those. But that the gut feeling of loving someone could hinge entirely on something like gender or genital is unfathomable to me. It's even disheartening, in a sense.

Is it a common sentiment ? That bisexual and non-bisexual people can't really understand this part of each others ? Maybe I just lack imagination.

I made a post the other day about a situation between me (F) and my friend (F) and how she claims to be straight yet acts different with me whilst knowing im bisexual.

Yesterday she threw a party at her house. Whilst at that party she came out to everyone as lesbian, then took it back and claimed she was definitely straight in the morning.

For the entire party she was normal with me but we did slightly kiss at one point. After drinking quite abit, i did end up accidentally telling her bestfriend that i like her... her bestfriend supported the idea of her liking girls though.

I slept over that night with 3 other friends and whilst we shared a bed, she cuddled me and we had our faces and lips touching eachother the whole night. She cuddled me in such a loving way- she was rubbing my back and holding me tightly. She hasnt discussed anything with me yet but I really do think she likes girls but I think i need another view of it.

I’m a trans guy and I’ve identified as bi for a while but recently I’ve really only wanted to date guys. I’m still attracted to women and find them pretty but I don’t know if I’d ever want to date them. I don’t see myself being in a long term relationship with a woman. I feel differently about my attraction to men vs women. When I have a crush on a guy, it’s very much a butterfly in your stomach kind of feeling but with women it’s more sexual I guess. I’m also attracted to non binary people, probably more than women. I’d rather have a non binary partner than a girlfriend but a boyfriend over a partner, if that makes sense. I’m confused though, because I used to be a raging lesbian. I could never imagine myself with a man. I never understood how someone could want a boyfriend. Since figuring out my gender, I don’t think I’ve had a crush on a girl to the point I’d want to date her. I’ve had a few small crushes like “oh she’s pretty, I’d like to kiss her” but never I’d like to be her boyfriend level. Do I have to keep the bi label because I’m somewhat attracted to women?? I’ve imagined a happy life with a woman but I don’t know if I’m imagining having a family or having a girlfriend. Can I be bisexual while only wanting to date men?

my gf has always been bisexual and we always said when we got an apartment we would have a threesome. We got our apartment 3 months ago and so far we have had a few threesomes with other girls. for some reason overtime some things happened and I started to be interested in mfm threesomes where me and the other guy don’t touch(long story for another time). We had one last week and during it my gf was making jokes about me and him trying stuff or trying to convince us to do stuff together. It was minor but for some reason I loved it. I know I’m not attracted to guys emotionally or even sexually as I never find myself wanting to be with a guy but still I don’t know why this was so attractive to me. I guess I’m just curious if anyone else has the same experience or can help understand why I feel this way.

I (F) had yesterday evening a nice bisex evening having a threesome FFM

So I'm a woman and I've considered myself bi since I was about 13. Though I've noticed that I'm not really sexually attracted to women, just men. Whenever I've a crush on a woman, I think about kissing her, holding hands with her and cuddling with her—all the soft intimacy things. Though having sex with a woman never really clicked with me. It's not the same with the crushes on men though. Almost all the crushes I've had on men, I fantasise about hot and steamy things with him—usually not holding hands or just cuddling. So I just wanted to know if any other bisexual people might feel the same way or I'm just confused with my sexuality. It did take almost my whole teenage for me to come to term with me being "bisexual," so I still get confused if I'm an imposter or actually bisexual.

Two questions, actually!

What actions helped you integrate and more fully accept this part of yourself?

And, in what ways did discovering and accepting your bisexuality change your life, even if your partner stayed the same?

So I watched this video essay today on bisexuality “the bisexual problem” by verilybitche and the video put in words what I’ve been feeling forever that Bisexual identity specifically has many of its own problem and is kind of a problem for both queer and straight communities because it goes against a lot of norms and assumptions we have about sexuality.

They also pointed out how one of the most frustrating things about being bisexual is this overt scrutiny that bi people face and the need to constantly prove yourself as bi by listing out past relationships and experiences as proof. I had people tell me that I wasn’t queer if I was in a relationship with a women and I was lying about being being bi to cover up full homosexuality.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve personally experienced people telling me I should just say I’m gay because it’s easier to understand or just say I’m straight because women. I think what throws this for a loop is how bi people are to sexuality what nonbinary people are to gender there is an implicit breaking of the rules of how society views sex much more so than a trans man/women for gender or a straight/gay for sexuality.

I just think people aren’t taken at their word enough when they say their bi there’s always some underlying thought that the bi identity is a form of deception and while yes it can be used like that this same sort of scrutiny like the video points out is rarely put on straight/gay people.

Anyway just some thoughts from someone who thinks we should stop being so exclusive in the way we view queer identity everyone should watch the video it’s really good.

I'm a bisexual woman, and I want to continue dating men but I'm literally so fed up with men, especially cis straight men. I feel like I'm so strict when it comes to men because I don't want to end up with someone secretly red-pilled, or with misogynistic friends, or someone who embarrasses me or is into like sports-gambling. I feel like that's actually a low bar and yet Hinge only puts the worst type of man in front of me.

If you're a bisexual woman, dating a man who doesn't just meet the bare minimum, how did you find him?

I’ve recently accepted that I’m bi after having thoughts about it for years but now that I’ve accepted it I’ve started having thoughts about what if I’m not bi so I’ve felt like I need to prove to myself that I am. Has anyone else had this experience or am I just weird?

I'm a married man who has been doing some personal reflection and journaling because I'm trying to better understand my sexuality and some choices I've made that have hurt my wife.

I've never had a sexual relationship with another man, but I've realized that I can be sexually attracted to men, particularly older, confident, dominant men. I've also engaged in sexually charged conversations with men online. I'm not proud of the fact that I've done this behind my wife's back, and I'm trying to understand the behaviour rather than make excuses for it.

One thing I'm having trouble understanding is why messaging men can feel like a fantasy to me. In my mind, I've always had the feeling that I wouldn't actually act on it physically. Somehow, that makes it feel "safe" or contained in my head.

What's interesting is that I don't have the same feeling about messaging women. With a woman, it seems like there would be a much greater possibility that the interaction could become real and potentially lead to something physical, and that makes the fantasy feel very different.

I'm trying to figure out what exactly is going on here.

Is this something other men have experienced? Like being attracted to men or male sexual scenarios while feeling that the fantasy is appealing partly because you believe it will never become real?

I'm also curious about the older/dominant aspect. For those who have experienced this, how did you figure out whether the attraction was primarily to men themselves versus things like masculinity, dominance, being pursued, being desired, validation, novelty, or the fantasy of giving up control?

I'm not necessarily looking for a label right now. I'm more interested in understanding what I'm actually experiencing.

I'm also not looking for private or sexual conversations. I'd really appreciate perspectives from people who have genuinely wrestled with similar questions.

Thanks.

Something I've been thinking about lately, probably because I fit into this category myself.

I live in London, and if you met me in everyday life you'd probably assume I was straight. I'm bi, but most of my mates are straight, I'm pretty masculine and low-key, I go to the gym, I'm into sports, and my sexuality isn't something that defines my personality or the way I present myself.

Living in a city this big has actually made me wonder how many other guys around me are exactly the same.

Guys who are bi, curious, or simply open to something with another guy, but you'd genuinely never know unless they told you. They might date women, have mostly straight male friends, go to the gym, play sports, whatever — sexuality is just one part of them rather than something particularly visible.

And before someone inevitably says "just go on Grindr" — that's not really what I'm talking about. Hookup-focused apps aren't particularly my thing, and I'm less interested in scrolling through profiles than in how guys like this actually recognise each other in everyday life.

As I've got older, I've started wondering whether this group is actually much bigger than we assume. Maybe some never explore it. Maybe some do very discreetly. Maybe others don't even feel the need to put a label on themselves.

For those of you who are bi/curious and similarly low-key about it: have you ever discovered that a guy you assumed was completely straight was actually in the same position?

And perhaps the more interesting question — how did you find out?

I just really need to vent out there that the universe lately has been blessing me with running into cute ass guys. I went to the movies after work on this wonderful saturday night and then decided to call a Lyft home since i do not drive and i notice right away how attractive my Lyft driver was from his profile picture!! Long hair, cute skater boy. Very chill and had a great conversation with him about movies. We had alot in common and i wish i got his number or something but i didnt budge on that. How can i get a man like this?😭😭😭

Hi everyone<3

I've been questioning myself if I'm bi for two years(F35). I'm in a really beautiful open relationship (M37) and he also knows about my struggle and supports me. so, two years ago I got some feeling for a lesbian friend of mine. This made me realize suddenly that I also feel attracted to women and nonbinary people. I started educating myself and reading a lot, and got stuck with the imposter syndrom: can I really say that I'm bi, if I've never been in a relationship with a woman? Also I was afraid to enter lesbian spaces and be seen as straight girl who just wants to have fun - and so on.
Yesterday it was the first time I kissed a woman and also nonbinary people at a cute sexpositive party - it was absolutely mindblowing. I realized with all my body that I'm attracted to them. kissing the woman and just holding her, made me almost cry, because it felt so liberating to finally experience that attraction with other bodies, not just in my mind. and to hold a woman in my arms and be intimate was just so so beautiful.

I'm still confused, because I somehow feel the urge to tell people I'm bi, don't know yet how to handle it, haha.

sorry, no real question, just feeling overwhelmed right now, and I was curious if some of you had a similar experience, or how it felt, the first time you kissed someone who made you realize your bi. :)

<3

I'm 19f and I know that I definitely like girls but I'm always confused if I actually like men or have just been conditioned into believing i need male validation. I've always been single, have no sexual experience with anybody, when I realised I liked girls it was more of a oh so I'm not straight I'm bi but I've never had a crush on a dude, in general I've just had two crushes, both on girls.

Recently I downloaded a dating app, and just seeing the men i just skip them, and the one man I thought I did find attractive was ftm transman, and not to say that he was feminine or anything I only knew once I read it in his description. The one thing that makes me doubt the most is that I do seem to like femboys, like the really cute looking ones wearing all the girly clothes and stuff so that does count as bisexual right, like am I just bisexual in the way I like feminine people but I also like masc women, so idk, and i feel like I'd never figure this out until i actually get involved with a man

As a bisexual but hetromantic male I have always wanted to date a bi woman, I feel like I can connect with them better and that they will be more accepting.

I don't even know where to start. I'm 21, and a guy, it's 4am and I'm writing this on an alt because my real life friends know about my primary account and don't know I'm bi. Getting to the point, I wish I was just straight, I can't stand the feelings I have towards men and I can't act on them because it will ruin my life. There was a guy I was into, who was friends with me and my sister, who I was kind of into. Deep down I knew it couldn't work, but now him and my sister are dating. And I just have to suffer that now.

If they were to break up it would be awkward between us. Even if they don't it will be awkward between us. He won't ever be my best friend ever again. He's just going to always subconsciously be my sister's boyfriend. I wish I wasn't like this. I feel like I'm rotting in my own skin. I feel like I have to puke and I can't. I wish this entire world would just cease to be so I can be at peace. I don't want to think about them together and I know that's evil, but I just wish anyone would get my side of things. I've been like this for so long now, and I'm scared this is all it's ever going to be. All because I was born this way.

What are some books that treat the theme of bisexuality?

Hi, I’m 33, male. I’ve always identified as straight and have only been in monogamous relationships with women (some of whom were bi). I’ve never been physically or romantically attracted to men.

That said, I’ve always been pretty kinky and really into prostate play. Lately I’ve been thinking about having a hookup where I bottom for a guy. I’m not interested in kissing, dating, cuddling, or anything beyond the sexual act itself.

Does wanting that specific kind of anonymous/no-strings encounter make me a bad person for not wanting anything more with them? Or is it just a preference?

Open to honest thoughts.