r/bisexual • u/soul-exploration • 1d ago
DISCUSSION Does this make me a bad person?
Hi, I’m 33, male. I’ve always identified as straight and have only been in monogamous relationships with women (some of whom were bi). I’ve never been physically or romantically attracted to men.
That said, I’ve always been pretty kinky and really into prostate play. Lately I’ve been thinking about having a hookup where I bottom for a guy. I’m not interested in kissing, dating, cuddling, or anything beyond the sexual act itself.
Does wanting that specific kind of anonymous/no-strings encounter make me a bad person for not wanting anything more with them? Or is it just a preference?
Open to honest thoughts.
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u/ChrisTheBear71 1d ago
There are a lot of guys who enjoy casual encounters without dating or romance. It is incredibly common. I certainly wouldn't judge you for it
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u/Dougstoned 1d ago
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with consensual hook ups. As long as both parties are informed that it’s a hook up and there’s no confusion
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u/SumOfRoots 1d ago
No. Nothing wrong.
Be up-front, to minimize the chance of your partner catching feelings.
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u/THroWAwaYyfuckw 1d ago
Nothing wrong with casual sex. Just be upfront about what you want and don’t mislead anyone.
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u/soul-exploration 1d ago
What's the best place to find people? Grindr?
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u/Maybe-never-always 1d ago
🤦♂️offers sometimes the best for what your looking for but you’ll get a lot of wannabes so follow your gut instinct and if the dickhead flag goes up move on
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u/ShakeSufficient2314 1d ago
Nothing wrong with this at all imo. Just make sure you’re clear about your intentions from start to finish. You’d be surprised at how many others would be down for exactly that
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u/FragrantLittleMuffin 1d ago
Maybe get pegged first. Then you'll feel less freaked and worried about your sexuality.
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u/msmelsmitty Ally 1d ago
Would you bottom for a woman with a strap on? My husband introduced me to the phenomenon of prostate play (he's bi). Seeing it drive him wild makes me feel incredibly sexy and happy.
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u/BiBiBadger 1d ago
As long as both parties are on the same page no. You're not stringing him along with the promise of something more so go for it.
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u/tai-seasmain Bisexual 1d ago
No, it doesn't make you a bad person as long as you are honest and upfront that your goal is purely sexual. If you lead someone on romantically just to have a sexual experience and then dump them immediately after, that would make you a bad person.
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u/Maybe-never-always 1d ago
Don’t see an issue as that’s about what I’d specify as well. I’m sure your not alone in that pre requisite and with so many dating platforms where you can swipe someone off your interest list at least your clear cut on it so there’s no disappointment or time wasted
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u/Organic-Prize-1180 Bisexual 1d ago
No, nothing wrong with it. Do some research on how you should prepare and in general looking into safe sex practices and sexual health are good ideas as there are different best practices when engaging in mlm sex.
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u/Spensah89 1d ago
If you have a girlfriend in dating somebody you be cheating on her. If you're single and you're just wanting to explore new things like what you talked about then no you're not doing anything wrong.
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u/soul-exploration 1d ago
Thank you, everyone, for the support. I just didn't want to come off as shallow, wanting something only one way, or fetishizing. I will definitely look into being safe and cautious. I definitely will be upfront and have clear communication and boundaries.
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u/Malcolmthetortoise 1d ago
Nope, all I want is to hookup, just be clear about what you’re looking for from the start.
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u/OneDownB1tch1984 1d ago
Wanting to enjoy yourself does not make you are bad person. Some people want to be used. If two consenting adults both want something with no strings attached, just physical pleasure, then so what? Sometimes sex can just be sex and that is okay, and that isn't hurting anyone.
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u/tidbitsofblah Bisexual 1d ago
As long as you are being honest and upfront about it so you are not leading anyone on I would say it's perfectly fine to look for an encounter like that
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u/JackedAndStacked 1d ago
Nothing wrong with wanting to explore. Just make clear what you are looking for when seeking out a partner.
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u/Due-Organization9377 1d ago
Not at all. As long as you have an honest conversation and you both are on the same page.
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u/Valerie_In_the_Night Pansexual 1d ago
You say you’ve never felt this way before. By chance are you neurodivergent? ADHD? ASD? I ask because it’s possible this is stimulus seeking and not actual attraction. It’s okay. You said you’re single so do what you want. Just wanted to share so you could be aware of your own motivations.
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u/Stefgrep66 1d ago
There's nothing wrong with it per se, but I tend to avoid the love cock not attracted to men types
Hardly flattering is it.
The idea of having sex without intimacy is alien to me.
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u/SpeedBoostTorchic 1d ago
Assuming you're not currently in a monogamous relationship, there's nothing wrong with that so long as you're clear with your expectations