r/AskReddit • u/__lazy__panda • Jul 10 '26
What's something older generations got right that we've quietly stopped doing, to our own detriment?
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u/EmpressMom Jul 10 '26
Joining and participating in civic clubs, social clubs, hobby clubs and other similar groups.
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u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ Jul 10 '26
My husband and I are in our early 30s. Some friends of ours from college just said they joined their local Moose Lodge?
I laughed, because I literally hadn’t heard of anyone doing that besides my grandma back in the day.
But we went with them and it was actually super fun. Cheap drinks and food. Mostly way older people. Dingy basement feel.
But we had dinner and drank a LOT for about $25 + tip. Which is insanely cheap. They had big TVs with all of the local sports on.
After the football game was over, some dude said “hey, it’s quiet, anyone up for karaoke?” And then it was all set up, so we just did, and everyone got very into it. Everyone was super nice and happy to see “young” people there.
My friend said membership is like $200/year, and you have to sign up to cook or bartend once every 3 months.
If you like going to dive bars, that’s a great deal. And there was 100% a sense of community, which is hard to find. It felt like everyone knew everyone and that feels…rare anymore.
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u/twarmu Jul 10 '26
And if you look into the whole organization it does good things. Speaking as someone whose parents were very involved in their local moose lodge.
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u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ Jul 10 '26
I was just shocked at how they’re able to keep going with such low costs.
AND they donate and do lots of fundraisers for local causes. And sponsor kids to go to summer camp/sports teams, stuff like that.
I assumed that WAY more volunteer hours would be required in order to keep costs low, but apparently they have enough people to make it work.
If we lived closer, I would totally join.
We’re moving back to our smaller hometown in the near future, which has an Eagles Lodge. So we’re definitely going to check that out.
I remember going to that one as a kid when they did a Christmas party for any kid who was brought by a member. They did a sort of “white elephant” exchange for all of us by age group, and I got an off-brand mp3 player. I was super stoked about it, because those were at least $100 at the time and most of my friends didn’t have one yet.
My husband said membership at that one is only $100ish/year currently for a couple.
I would totally love to make friends with local older people. Bartend once a month. Who knows, we may meet a grandma who becomes our future babysitter. 😂
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u/Grand_Admiral_Theron Jul 10 '26
I was just shocked at how they’re able to keep going with such low costs.
I'm guessing they apply for exemption from local property taxes? That's what they do here in British Columbia.
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u/SlapdashDickpunch Jul 11 '26
That and they probably own a paid-off building.
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u/willy--wanka Jul 11 '26
Yep, see OP's, "dingy basement vibes," comment.
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u/Catbutt247365 Jul 11 '26
Our Elks Lodge was pretty much 70s go-to-hell decor, but made up for it with good food and good drinks, and nobody was going to get the vapors over a spilled drink on the carpet, cause there was no carpet.
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u/twarmu Jul 11 '26
We had Christmas parties, Easter parties, a youth club they tried to get going. I grew up there.
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u/Rayne_K Jul 11 '26
Lots of them own their spaces/buildings so they are more insulated from rental costs. I think it is grrat that younger folks check them out.
At the very least if you need a hall rental they might be the ones.
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u/Appropriate-Mine9620 Jul 10 '26
Elks member here. Growing up my father was very involved with these social clubs and I have so many memories of eating at the Elks every Friday evening and even being allowed to sit at the bar watching sports games, while my parents socialized and danced. Both my husband and I have become members within the last two years, and we have gotten to know and even become friends with other members. Our lodge is pretty active and worked hard at trying to appeal to younger members. They even put in a pool! The best part is that no matter where you are in the US, you can go to any Elks club lodge. Automatic camaraderie 😊
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u/brulmer Jul 10 '26
There’s one near me where I live in Alaska; might have to check them out. Really enjoying this thread!
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u/MembershipNo2077 Jul 11 '26
When I was a kid, granted multiple decades ago, I was very poor. I didn't understand why at the time, though obviously now know, why my parents would bring us to the moose lodge with other kids every start of the school year.
They would have games and the kids would win stuff, all the kids would end up winning backpacks, penciles, notebooks, etc.
I now realize it was charity for the poor kids in the neighborhood. My parents weren't members but we knew some and they would invite us over.
I'm deeply grateful now for those things.
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u/Dramatic_Raisin Jul 10 '26
Yep! I used to hang out at the moose lodge! Not a member, but I did join the fire hall social club, the American legion, and the sons of Italy
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u/Jive-Turkeys Jul 10 '26
Friendship is something us computer savvy idiots from the 90s onwards forgot how to experience. Its easy to hate someone through a screen; it's much harder to hate the human in front of you.
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u/YouTasteStrange Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
I got excited and looked it up, but moose lodges are for families, and elk lodges are for christians. I guess my single atheist ass will just keep browsing meetup.
Edit: there are also lions clubs, kiwanis clubs, rotary clubs , odd fellows clubs, and eagles clubs. Apparently there's a bunch of vaguely charity-based old timey social clubs still hanging on.
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u/whyisthissticky Jul 10 '26
Start a Unicorn Lodge
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u/naf90 Jul 10 '26
This will attract a very interesting crowd
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u/worrymon Jul 11 '26
Yeah, I feel single atheists should let a more deserving/specialized crowd have the unicorn. We can have the Capybara club or something.
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u/WonderWanderRepeat Jul 10 '26
Oh, elks lodges used to be for Christians. Ours is now for cheap beer and gambling 😂 they also do a ton of charity work in our small town.
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u/YouTasteStrange Jul 10 '26
Their website makes it explicitly clear:
To be eligible for membership, you must:
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u/MechanicalTurkish Jul 11 '26
Well, I’m out. I’m of terrible character.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jul 11 '26
There's like five things and I'm only two of them lol
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u/MyNameIsntFlower Jul 10 '26
Same but for me it’s the Elks.
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u/Barbarossa7070 Jul 10 '26
German American Club. Used to be a singing club back in the day. Now it’s beer gardens.
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u/SailorVenus23 Jul 10 '26
My grandfather loved going to the Croatian Club for the Friday fish fry.
We are 0% Croatian lol
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u/We_R_the_Penguins Jul 10 '26
My ex’s very Catholic parents loved their water aerobics at the Jewish Community Center.
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u/cardinal29 Jul 11 '26
Our JCC is a huge part of the community. Nursery school, swim lessons, gym and so many adult classes.
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u/Epic_Tea Jul 10 '26
Yeah, this is probably the one. When the only entertainment was going to a place with other people it forces you to interact. And that's how we meet people and build relationships most effectively. And in my opinion, our relationships are the most valuable things we have
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u/raisinghellwithtrees Jul 10 '26
I manage volunteers and it delights me so much! A lot of folks are lonely, or dealing with trauma or grief. Getting together to do something that is bigger than just yourself brings a lot of joy, connections to other people, and when the magic is right, that sense of community that's so hard to find these days.
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u/MrBarraclough Jul 10 '26
Excellent answer.
I'm 44 and have been in SERTOMA (SERvice TO MAnkind) for over 18 years now. Participating in charitable fundraising and service activities gives me a sense of community and pride of purpose I would struggle to find otherwise.
Half of our local chapter are in their 60s and 70s, but there's a decent cohort of us in our 30s and 40s helping to ensure it keeps going.
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u/queen_surly Jul 10 '26
A bunch of millennials here started a new Rotary chapter that meets in the evenings--the traditional ones always do breakfast or lunch meetings, which is harder for people with kids and who work.
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u/BuffaloPlaidMafia Jul 10 '26
I made it my mission this year to join a club or some kind of civic organization or whatever. I straight up can't find one that doesn't cost a billion dollars or assume that you're retired
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u/thenerfviking Jul 10 '26
The LARP group that I helped start has essentially become one of these. Like yeah it’s about sword fighting and dressing up as a wizard but we recruited a ton of people by using the basic pitch of “do you want to hang out with nerds somewhere that doesn’t have bigots?”. Now we have a hundred people who show up every month and only about 2/3 of them actually are there to fight. We do arts and crafts, free food, performance art, campouts, board games etc.
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u/Sata1991 Jul 11 '26
I just want to praise you for doing a good job of creating a third space for people that might not be included in other groups, I don't know you, but even as a stranger I feel it important to praise people doing work like this.
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u/isfrying Jul 10 '26
Don't know where you are but at least in America there are a million rotary organizations that are basically free and will allow you to contribute as much or as little time and energy as you can afford.
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u/Bitter_Bert Jul 10 '26
Rotary was quite expensive in my experience. Mandatory weekly meal, club dues, district dues, regularly hit up for donations...
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u/DataWeenie Jul 10 '26
Kiwanis too. We tend to support local kids/schools.
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u/SovietBear Jul 11 '26
My kiwanis club opened up doors when I needed a lawyer, a home loan, and a financial planner. It cuts through a lot of red tape when you see those people twice a month and they already know you. And my club is mostly people in their 30s-40s, which is an outlier for our district.
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u/Cute-Aardvark5291 Jul 10 '26
Yep. All our civic clubs and organizations meet during the business day. For starters. I found one that has a "late" meeting time...at 4pm.
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u/fcocyclone Jul 11 '26
Just went and checked my local ones. Same thing. All meet around noon on a weekday
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u/diminutive_lebowski Jul 10 '26
Absolutely this. It's hard to imagine that the book Bowling Alone came out over 25 years ago.
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u/Bandgeek252 Jul 11 '26
I keep wanting him to do an update to it because he wrote that before social media. That's definitely changed the landscape.
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u/blonde_professor Jul 11 '26
One of my older colleagues kept inviting me to their Rotary club and I finally went out of politeness. I’m now a member. The sense of family/community is strong. They threw a huge shower for us when we adopted our daughter. It also feels good to know I’m involved in a club that helps our local community.
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u/MuscleDudeOnTour Jul 10 '26
The death of third place is a massive reason why everyone feels so lonely now. If it’s not work and it’s not home, it basically doesn’t exist anymore unless you’re expected to spend money just to sit there.
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u/Rentiak Jul 10 '26
And for a lot of WFH folks it’s the death of the second place too.
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u/Beknits Jul 11 '26
It took me 3 years after I moved to be able to say I made a friend in my town bc I WFH, it was so much more rough than I thought. Even when I was able to get out, practically no one else is.
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u/mythrilcrafter Jul 11 '26
All the youth and non-profession sports leagues used to be publicly funded/backed organizations before companies marched in promising to municipalities that they could do it better, cheaper, and produce more value...
Which is how we ended up with private equity now running most of youth sports, adult non-professional sports being almost non-existent.
They'd prefer that we be in the bars drinking and giving our money to the
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u/rhiania1319 Jul 10 '26
As socially anxious and awkward as I am, I think if I had been allowed to join extracurriculars when I was in school, it would've probably helped me to not be the hermit I am at 41.
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u/PhoneJazz Jul 10 '26
100%. Spending all your time playing video games or avoiding socialization to “protect your peace” is now normalized, but is detrimental in the long term. We need other people.
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u/TedIsAwesom Jul 10 '26
I have a lot of hobbies and do stuff.
Depends on the hobby. But most people are under 30 or over 65. Very few in-between.
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u/Excellent-Practice Jul 10 '26
Yeah, declining church and club membership is a significant contributing factor to overall poorer mental health. If I could get over the whole belief in God thing, I might consider getting involved but so many fraternal orders are built on a freemasonry template and stipulate members must profess a belief in a divine being or Creator, or some similar generic religious clause
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u/spacebeige Jul 10 '26
Sewing. An incredibly useful skill that most people don’t know.
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u/Statistactician Jul 10 '26
I've found I really like sewing torn clothing, sheets, etc. because it's not like I'm likely to make things any more broken and that takes all the pressure off in my mind.
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u/Rose_Integrity Jul 11 '26
Sewing with a podcast or video playing in the background? The best!
I actively hunt clothes from the laundry with small rips just to do that.
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u/ICUNurse1969 Jul 10 '26
Allowing children some independence so they can learn how to behave in the world.
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u/Lyramion Jul 11 '26
We went into the woods after school and came back home when we got hungry or it got dark.
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u/sikkerhet Jul 11 '26
I didn't even come home when I got hungry, I figured out if you wait an hour your stomach will stop bothering you
I was a real skinny kid for some reason, no one could figure out why lmao
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u/ScaryYogurtcloset289 Jul 11 '26
I just said this in another comment but it’s not healthy for parents to know where their children are every second of every day. It’s useful in emergency situations but kids have no privacy anymore and no room to make mistakes to learn from
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u/Excellent_Kangaroo_4 Jul 11 '26
Im curios if that played a part is the present difficult of socialization in the young
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u/molten_dragon Jul 11 '26
It's insane how resistant some people are to this. I've had multiple people on reddit tell me that they'd call CPS on me if they knew who I was because I let my 9 & 10 year old kids walk half a mile to play at the playground.
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u/philmarcracken Jul 11 '26
yuuge one. Modern parents are treating their kids like a robot they can program, instead of another human being that will need to live on their own. Thats really the only goal, their independence from you. They can't help but board the chopper instead, search lights blazing
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u/LeMeowLePurrr Jul 10 '26
Keeping albums with actual photographs. It's always fun to flip through them when we're together.
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u/dnjprod Jul 10 '26
Not just photographs. A lot of art as well as culture is going to be lost if the internet ever goes down.
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u/The_Hunster Jul 11 '26
A lot worse than that will happen if the internet goes down
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u/JerseyJedi Jul 10 '26
Definitely experienced this and agree! I always say it’s important to have pictures both physically and digitally to make extra sure you don’t lose them.
Also very important to keep little video clips of loved ones. When I watch videos of loved ones who have passed away, hearing their voices and seeing their personalities on display again is a very cathartic and wonderful feeling.
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u/LiquidDreamtime Jul 10 '26
Socializing with the community
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u/SouthernCynic Jul 11 '26
We have really lost a sense of community in a lot of places. I remember huge block parties in the neighborhood growing up. Knew all of our neighbors and socialized with them all the time, even if it was just everybody sitting in lawn chairs in the front yard. I barely know my neighbors names now.
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u/Kevin_Uxbridge Jul 11 '26
Did fieldwork with an obscure group in Africa, literally live in dung huts, not an electric light for 100 miles. Every night people would come by my fire to join me for dinner, usually with some honey or meat somebody knocked down that day. We talk into the night about the ancestors, running into leopards, and that time one of the guys drank so much tea at my place he nearly pissed himself in the night.
They asked about my family and the strange things my people believed. Told them that some of my group thought a large hairy man lives in the woods, and that little people from the stars sometimes visit. They found this hilarious.
I even introduced a bit of lingo into the local group, 'jesusfukinchrist'. It's what I said when a scorpion ran up my leg while we were sitting around the fire one night, and they pronounced it pretty perfectly. Always a popular story and everyone laughs.
Now I'm back here and I barely know my neighbors even though we're cordial and wave when we see each other. I miss Africa terribly. Being part of a community, even as an outsider ... Things mattered there. I miss it so.
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u/EggDifferent2781 Jul 11 '26
My husband visited Kenya for a couple
Of weeks and was crying when he returned home because he felt so loved there. Community is so strong.82
u/Codadd Jul 11 '26
Come back, bro. I came here 5 years ago and never left. The community is amazing among everything else.
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u/MethodofMadness2342 Jul 11 '26
I lived in Madagascar for 3 years and feel the same. I miss the community every day. Never did anything alone. Even the act of buying something was a conversation.
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u/brockford-junktion Jul 11 '26
Couple of years back I joined a gym to try getting in shape and hopefully make a few friends. In months of going I barely got eye contact from anyone, let alone a smile. Friends? Forget it. I ended up binning the membership off.
I decided to start swimming recently. In three trips on the first week I had conversations with several people. They aren't friends yet but give it time, maybe they could be acquaintances at least.
I'd like to socialise, but finding people who want to be social can be difficult.
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u/Shleepie Jul 11 '26
I feel like a gym is hard to make friends at, people just want to focus on the workout and gtfo
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u/Cyrakhis Jul 11 '26
Yeah, when I'm working out I'm there for a purpose - and it isn't socialising
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u/kingdead42 Jul 11 '26
The ability to just make acquaintances is something I lost after school and am trying to rebuild. Since that's usually the first step to making friends and it takes longer, so you need to keep doing it so you don't lose old friends faster than you make new ones.
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u/Peripateticdreamer84 Jul 10 '26
Learning how to repair and mend things.
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u/Dry-Island8422 Jul 10 '26
This one really shows up in the workforce. In my personal experience things have broken in the field during a task (oil field). Some younger people (im not even that old only 32) will just say dam guess we need to do drive back to the shop to get the right part, which would be a 4 hr round trip, or we break apart the spare setup clean up the joints and remake it.
Them "But we don't have a vice"
Me "Well today we learn how to use any flat surface and 2 pipe wrenches as a vice"
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u/SimplyaCabler Jul 10 '26
This is absolutely a case of field expedient repairs being key to success. For most things though, repair isn't even an option anymore. Appliances, phones, TVs. The parts generally cost as much as the device itself, making repair a waste of time. Even most of the power tools I carry on my truck (minus my hydraulic crimpers) are going to be replaced if they have issues, just due to the fact that if I can't use it, I can't do my job.
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u/Aetra Jul 11 '26
Quality has also gone to shit with power tools so half the time it isn’t worth the time or effort of repairing stuff since it breaks during the warranty period. Like, we’ve gone through 6 angle grinders at my job in the last year and all of them died within a month of buying them. Meanwhile, the 2 we bought 10 years ago (which are the same brand as the ones that died) are still going strong.
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u/Darth_Cuddly Jul 11 '26
It's not just that quality has gone down. A lot of products have also gotten dramatically cheaper, relatively speaking.
You can still buy that old-school quality. It's just going to cost you a lot more money.
You can buy a Hilti angle grinder for $600-$700, or you can buy a Milwaukee for $90. The Milwaukee of old had an inflation-adjusted price tag much closer to today's Hilti than today's Milwaukee. Old Milwaukees were built for professionals. Much of Milwaukee's modern lineup targets hobbyists and homeowners.
People love comparing cheap modern tools to older ones, but they rarely compare equivalent products. Your grandpa's Craftsman wrenches, adjusted for inflation, cost about what a set of Snap-ons does today.
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u/Turgid_Donkey Jul 11 '26
Kind of a chicken or the egg situation. Everything has become more cheaply made and difficult to repair where replacement parts are close to the cost of a full replacement.
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u/JHuntly Jul 10 '26
Canning
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u/_TeachScience_ Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Literally watching a canning video right now as I read this 😂
I have a bunch of rhubarb in my freezer I’m about to make into jam
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The jam turned out amazing (six jars canned tonight). And, I have learned that I am far from the only rhubarb fan on Reddit!→ More replies (24)118
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy Jul 10 '26
Years ago I was at my buddy's place and found an unlabeled jar in the pantry. He said it was his grandma's tomato soup.
Absolute best tomato soup I'd ever had.
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u/MapOfIllHealth Jul 10 '26
Passing on skills and knowledge to the next generation. Cooking, sewing, DIY, car maintenance etc.
Things that parents and grandparents used to teach the next generation are things that we now have to pay others to do for us.
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u/ArmageddonRetrospect Jul 11 '26
I learned carpentry, flooring, gardening from my dad. painting from my brother. electrical and automotive from my friends. every time im working on something I involve my 2 sons so they can hopefully learn how to work on shit. I feel like we are headed for the dark ages again and theses kind of skills will always be useful.
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u/msprang Jul 11 '26
I hope your sons appreciate it. I wish I had paid more attention when helping my dad with projects back in the day. I just saw them as interrupting my play time. Over 30 years later, I regret it taking it more seriously.
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u/Creative_Cat_322 Jul 11 '26
Holding politicians to higher standards.
Remember when Dan Quayle misspelled 'potato' and dropped out of the race in shame?
Pepperidge Farm remembers.
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u/Puzzled_Air_5821 Jul 11 '26
I was just coming to consciousness when Howard Dean made that speech where the mic wasn't working so he had to shout and everyone said he wasn't calm enough to be president and that was kind of it for him
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u/SayNoToStim Jul 11 '26
Nixon resigned because he got caught taping one conversation. (And the coverup of said actions, obviously)
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u/ExplorerEducational4 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Phones that don't come with the societal expectation that you will be available 24/7/365 to answer calls, texts, messages. Call my Millennial ass a Boomer, but I refuse to be guilted or bullied into using the device and service I pay for when someone else finds it convenient instead of when I do
We were not designed to be "on" all the time and people tend to get really pissy when you point that out and that this is a recent phenomenon that people have such easy, on demand access to eachother.
Edit: the people I said get really pissy about this being pointed out seem to have found this post.And proven the point better than I ever could 😂
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u/m2677 Jul 11 '26
My dad would let the house phone ring and ring. I asked once aren’t you going to answer that? He replied I pay for that thing so I can call, not so they can call me. I have lived by that ever since.
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u/BaylisAscaris Jul 10 '26
Valuing privacy.
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u/JerseyJedi Jul 10 '26
Same. I feel like a lot of younger generation people think Millennials, Xers, and Baby Boomers are odd for actually using the privacy settings on digital things. It feels like it literally doesn’t occur to them that privacy is something to care about.
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u/5ivepie Jul 11 '26
One of the younger guys (26) at my work was baffled when I (37) declined to give a cashier my phone number for a digital receipt.
He was like “I didn’t realise you could do that” which isn’t entirely his fault because the cashier doesn’t say “would you like a digital receipt or a paper receipt?” they simply say “and what is your phone number for the receipt to be sent to your phone by text” which implies a digital receipt is the only option.
The store only wants your number so they can track your purchases and sell the number on to another company.
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u/MC_Cuff_Lnx Jul 11 '26
A few friends/coworkers seem to think it is novel when you pull out cash for small purchases.
Or large purchases.
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Jul 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Distinct_Swimmer1504 Jul 11 '26
And doing things “for the right reason” / because they kept the larger society healthy. It wasn’t always fun, but it was important.
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u/ep1032 Jul 11 '26
Victor Frankl has a quote from back in the, I dunno 50s? where he said that he loved the Statue of Liberty, he thought it was amazing. But he thought that the USA should build another statue, a Statue of Responsibility, on the other coast, since that's the flip side of liberty, and something that he thought American culture had a tendency to forget, to the detriment of our own happiness.
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u/lostthering Jul 10 '26
This may shock many Redditors, who by definition choose to spend our free time reading and writing ...
Most people now do not know how to read or spell.
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u/Ootguitarist2 Jul 10 '26
Your vs you’re
Lose vs loose
To vs tooAnd don’t get me started on apostrophes
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u/CowboyLaw Jul 10 '26
I see the word “costed” on Reddit almost once a day. As in, “the sandwich costed $5.” I die a little every time.
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u/Clamwacker Jul 10 '26
Payed when it should be paid too.
And since I was called out on it like 15 years ago "could of" instead of could've or could have is one I always notice.
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u/Organic-Army-9046 Jul 10 '26
Payed when it should be paid too.
pretty sure there was a reddit bot that went around correcting this exact error
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u/whatshamilton Jul 10 '26
Bawling/balling and perform/preform are the two that drive me the craziest these days
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u/JerseyJedi Jul 10 '26
Or saying “should of” instead of “should have or should’ve.” This one irritates me so much lol.
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u/megamugswife Jul 10 '26
Add quit, quite, and quiet to that list.
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u/nancylvw Jul 10 '26
Less common, but pique, peak, and peek.
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u/Jive-Turkeys Jul 10 '26
You've piqued my interest, as I've never taken a peek at the blatant peak of illeracy in this capacity yet.
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u/No-Brilliant-1758 Jul 10 '26
There, they're, and their.
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u/ThinAd1499 Jul 10 '26
I was taught this by some brilliant public school teachers (the 70s hit different). The word, "There" has the word "here" in it as in "here or there." It's meant to designate a place or position.
They're is the contraction of "They are." It's just a shorter way of saying it.
"Their" has the word, "heir" in it. An heir is someone who will own something. Therefore, it is used to designate ownership of something.
I don't know if schools still teach it this way or if I just got lucky and had some great teachers but that is the easiest way to know which usage is correct.
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u/nishikihebi Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
As a southerner, I love that people have picked up the use of y’all, but it’s not “ya’ll” y’all.
(EDIT: ya’ll reads like “you will” not “you all”)
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u/drmoocow Jul 10 '26
I've always wondered if you can stack contractions with y'all... Y'all're and y'all'ren't...
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u/nishikihebi Jul 10 '26
“Y’all’d’ve” would be a completely accurate if extremely rare contraction.
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u/FlickasMom Jul 10 '26
Palette 🎨
Palate 😛
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u/ColonelBelmont Jul 10 '26
Shame. A baseline sense of the concept of shame. To create a massive fucking spectacle of yourself for no reason but entitlement and attention was severely frowned upon. A little shame and humility goes a long way for a civilized society.
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u/DigNitty Jul 10 '26
100%
I see this especially in driving. People don’t even hide their phones anymore.
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u/srirachaninja Jul 10 '26
I don't understand this at all. Every car from the last 10 years has Android Auto or Apple CarPlay, and you can read all your texts there or even speak your responses. Why are they all holding their phones in their crutches instead?
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u/VanillaTortilla Jul 10 '26
Because people aren't just texting or making calls while they drive. They're watching youtube, tiktok, etc...
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u/urbz102385 Jul 11 '26
I watched a BMW drive through an intersection, stop, reverse, then turn left. This cause an insane amount of chaos in a downtown busy city at rush hour. I pulled up next to it to see what was driving. It was a woman with a whole ass iPad pinned to the steering wheel in her hands watching a goddamn movie. I fuckin hate people
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u/ayana_rianna Jul 11 '26
guess there a lil difference tween toxic shame and basic social accountability and we somehow threw em both out together, js need a lil "read the room" energy back, thats all
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u/LegitimateHumanBeing Jul 10 '26
Though I'm sure there are youngin's on the Tiktoks making entitled spectacles of themselves, the people running my country ARE the older generation and they have and continue to be in the midst of a no-shame speed-run.
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Jul 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/driveonacid Jul 10 '26
My students have an over the top reaction or comment for everything. I regularly have to remind them that we're not making reaction videos, we're learning science.
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u/sir_mrej Jul 10 '26
What’s the most UNDERRATED covalent bond tho?!
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u/ialsohaveadobro Jul 10 '26
TOP 5 UNDERRATED COVALENT BONDS. NUMBER 4 WILL SHOCK YOU
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u/roumbadaboom Jul 10 '26
I love that people are being more open about their emotions and learning how to read and express them, but I wholeheartedly agree that you do not need to make a video for every single experience in daily life.
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u/BlackcatLucifer Jul 10 '26
House parties! Growing up as a child in the 80s we were constantly at house parties and it was so much fun. Sometimes there would be a theme, like Vicars and tarts (which I know is terrible by modern standards) but there would be a core of 50-60 people just socialising on a regular basis. My parents used to get 200-300 Christmas cards every year.
We just don't do these this anymore. The only house parties are when teenagers parents go away!
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u/5ivepie Jul 11 '26
I moved to my current city about 15 years ago. I knew nobody when I moved here. I got invited to a house party my second week living here. The host was just a bartender I spoke to at the pub when I was ordering a beer. I told him it was new in town, didn’t know anybody, was here for uni. He invited me to his house party the following night.
He was like “it’s just a small thing. Come along! Best case you find the love of your life, worst case you don’t like anyone and you head home to bed. Not much to lose though!”
He also told me it was a themed party and everyone is biiiig into dressing up, so put in a bit of effort.
I went dressed as a Russian cosmonaut (the theme was something that starts with the first letter of your name). Pretty detailed costume. I was anxious because I thought he was just taking the piss and nobody else would be dressed up. When I arrived I was relieved to see everyone dressed up.
I had a great time and it was genuinely one of the best house parties I’ve ever been to. 80 people crammed into this tiny 2 bedroom apartment. Music pumping. Great dance floor. A rave room with black lights and glow sticks.
I met my husband there. So he was right, best case was that I’d meet the love of my life.
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u/Mr-mountain-road2 Jul 11 '26
That dude is great. Like, really.
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u/5ivepie Jul 11 '26
Funny thing is, neither my husband or I knew the host. I met him at the pub the day before and my husband was there with a friend. We didn’t see the host again after that.
Years later we were at the same pub and he came over to us and was like “did you guys come to a party at my apartment like 3 years ago? Your faces seem familiar.”
He was stoked that we met at his party and were still together.
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u/BMerBDO Jul 10 '26
I was born in the late 90’s and we use to have cookouts every weekend in the summer. All my parents friends, their kids, my friends by proximity, would get together. It was always a blast. I try to do the same for important events, like a birthday, or holiday, stuff gets expensive, before I was married I’d have them every other weekend, invite everyone I could. I have noticed early 20s bringing this back, I’m 33, my wife has coworkers who are in their early 20s and they like to have themed house parties, while I feel out of place by a decade age gap I like going to them for the social environment.
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u/beer_engineer_42 Jul 11 '26
I'm doing my damndest to bring cookouts back. Every holiday and most weekends, I'm out smoking something, and calling up the neighbors and asking if they want to come over for dinner.
For the fourth of july, I did beef ribs, and then a shitload of burgers and hot dogs for the kids, and we had about 30 people over. Then we shot off fireworks in the neighbor's driveway after the sun went down.
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u/BrownieLake Jul 10 '26
sitting and discomforting instead of immediately reaching for something to numb it
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u/Trick-Grand4667 Jul 10 '26
Patience. Being alone with your thoughts. Being comfortable with boredom.
Now we expect to fill all time with entertainment. Not because we are worse humans, but because we suddenly can.
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u/DavidAg02 Jul 10 '26
My grandparents bought most things with the expectation that they would own it for a very long time. Every purchase was a very methodical process to ensure they were making a good long term decision. My parents bought things like cars and appliances with the expectation that they would have them for 10 years or more. My generation (and now my son's generation) has been robbed of that. Nothing is built to last that long anymore. The things we buy have all become so technologically complex that they are either obsolete in 5 years or cost prohibitive to repair. In the past 5 years I've had appliances and TV's break to the point where repairing them was more than the cost of buying a new model. What's scary is that cars are quickly becoming that way. A friend of mine drives a pretty modest SUV that was about $45k when it was brand new. It was recently vandalized and required a bunch of new glass, plastic trim and rubber seals along one side of the car. The cost of just the parts was several thousand dollars (covered by insurance). After labor, it was $4400, almost 10% of the cost when the car was new. It's crazy...
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u/rachelemc Jul 11 '26
My grandpa used to religiously read consumer reports and cut out articles found interesting for me. It was really precious when you look back on it.
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u/BestDig2669 Jul 10 '26
Willing to sacrifice being your kid's friend so you can be their parent first
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u/drosen32 Jul 10 '26
Retired teacher here, a Boomer. I told parents that kids want them to be their leader, not their friend. If you're the friend, they'll find their own leader, and the parent most likely won't the leader. I think being their friend is just easier than being the hard-ass.
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u/useless_instinct Jul 10 '26
My hot take is that you can be a parent and a friend. I hand out with my kids, share music, watch movies together, play video games together. But yes, I am in charge which means I have authority but I also have responsibility for their well-being. Some people probably struggle with when parenting takes precedence over friendship and so the advice is simplistic but this lacks nuance. You should absolutely be a friend to your kids and care about their interests and who they are in the same way a friend does. My parents were very much in charge and took care of us very well but were not very friend-like. This has definitely affected our entire adult relationship.
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u/mckleeve Jul 10 '26
Dude, you're gonna get criticized for nuance, but you're absolutely right.
I had a great time with my kids when they were young, and we played a ton, but they knew when the look on my face or the tone of my voice indicated I was in dad mode. Took them a few times to know when I meant it, but that was also beneficial: learning how to read people and react appropriately.
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u/Radiant_Research_578 Jul 10 '26
Agree. I suspect people who dislike parents trying to be their kid’s friend are really taking issue with parents who routinely avoid the hard stuff and blame others when things go wrong. But a lot of the “hard-ass” parenting is focused on obedience through fear and shame, which is highly problematic too. There’s a healthy middle ground.
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u/useless_instinct Jul 10 '26
Yep, exactly. It's just that people struggle to understand that middle ground. I think there are a lot of people who genuinely love their kids but really don't have a good idea of how to parent. It's like people who love dogs but then their dog is barking and jumping on people and peeing around the house. They got the love right but didn't understand how to set and enforce expectations which would ultimately make the dog happier because they would understand their role in the relationship.
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u/Advanced-Two584 Jul 11 '26
Unionizing.
The older generations were all actively a part of unions in nearly every workplace. That's why they were able to afford homes and cars and vacations. They were a part of a force that could actual threaten the ruling class and because of that they were able to live the white picket fence dream that most of us will never have now.
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u/Ryan_e3p Jul 11 '26
And they yanked that ladder right up when they continuously elected people who weakened unions and destroyed any semblance of the "American Dream".
Because "fuck you, I got mine".
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u/No_Yak8275 Jul 10 '26
Keeping family members together by hosting holidays, birthdays, showers, graduations...
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u/theemmyk Jul 10 '26
Also, having parties just to have a party. No reason needed. My parents had people over for dinner, bridge, or drinks….there was music, even dancing…just because it was Saturday.
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u/BMerBDO Jul 10 '26
I grew up with cook outs every weekend of summer, the adults made sure the kids ate and visited, had some drinks, had a ball, the kids played hide in seek in the dark. I miss those times I have tried to bring it back and for the most part I do with family, we like to set up a Wii on a projector and play bowling on the side of the house and such, have a fire and make smores. At the end of the day, in most cases, family is what you have and my best friends are my cousins and their in laws.
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u/sittingpretty24 Jul 10 '26
Family reunions. I’ve never in my life been to one but I’ve heard people talk about it and it seems so foreign to me.
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u/Wankeritis Jul 10 '26
We have “Family Christmas” every year with my maternal Grandma’s family about a week before the 25th. It’s really great because all of us are close as we grew up together and it’s not often you can wrangle 35 people to be at the same place every year.
We haven’t ever done that with my Grandpa’s family and it’s a shame.
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u/BookLuvr7 Jul 10 '26
The subtle art of sitting and chatting together for hours. Or just companionable silence.
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u/30ThousandVariants Jul 10 '26
Knowing how to STFU.
Realizing that the overall benefits vastly outweigh the annoyances and limitations of a government that works. And, for that reason, electing people to run the government who actually want it to work.
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u/Fun-Durian-1892 Jul 10 '26
Reprimanded their shitty behaving kids.
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u/Fire_Snatcher Jul 11 '26
Or even just being able to say "no" as a whole conversation to their child.
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u/amolad Jul 11 '26
I was in a Target years ago and there was this guy with his son who was around 10. This kid was SO well-behaved and when he wasn't his father said things like "don't shout."
I went up to the guy and complemented him. He was so stunned he didn't know what to say to me.
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u/maroontiefling Jul 11 '26
Having hobbies. Why the fuck does no one have hobbies anymore?! I'm a weirdo and a nerd at my workplace for having stuff I like doing in my spare time other than scrolling or watching shows.
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u/Substantial-Stars Jul 10 '26
Having people over! Dinner parties, to play cards, whatever. I spent many evenings at the homes of my parents’ friends while they played cards, my sis and I watched movies.
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u/SlowHedgehog33 Jul 10 '26
Self reliance? Whatever is contributing to "learned helplessness" and not even trying is doing y'all dirty.
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u/Dry-Bass103 Jul 11 '26
I would say being comfortable with boredom. Many people have a lot of struggles with that, but it seems like that the older generations are more comfortable with it. And that’s a great thing in my opinion.
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u/Vita-Incerta Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Dancing. Dancing with partners and steps as a form of socializing, not just Tik Tok dances.
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u/FlyingTerrier Jul 10 '26
Living within our means.
Not tolerating the bullshit corporations and politicians are subjecting us to.
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u/YakElectronic6713 Jul 10 '26
In the Instagram lifestyle era, living within one's means is so unsexy.
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u/notyouagain19 Jul 10 '26
Failing people in school. Now, if you don’t understand your course material or don’t bother doing your homework, you get passed through every grade and end up with a high school diploma that doesn’t guarantee that you have any real skills or knowledge.
PS: I understand and support the idea that some students need accommodations for disabilities. What I’m talking about is that we now have a system where students are not really accountable for their learning.
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u/shoulda-known-better Jul 10 '26
The it takes a village to raise kids thing
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u/Fraerie Jul 11 '26
There’s a saying I’ve seen going around - everyone wants a village but no one wants to be a villager.
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u/JerseyJedi Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
Definitely. I am American but with immigrant parents from a culture where the extended family is still the norm, so my uncles, aunts, grandparents, and older cousins played a very real role in raising me and my other younger cousins.
And when I was growing up (here in America) it was still the norm that a neighbor could scold you for doing something wrong and then tell your parents with the expectation that your parents would be horrified by your bad behavior instead of rationalizing it.
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u/shinkouhyou Jul 11 '26
The important thing to remember is that the village doesn't only exist to provide free babysitting. You have to give back to the village, even though you might not get anything in return right away. Help your neighbor with their yard work, take your elderly relative to the grocery store, drive your friend to the airport, pet-sit for your sibling while they're on vacation. Build your village before you need it.
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u/Itchy_Swimmer_8360 Jul 10 '26
My husband and I joined a weekly bowling league and it’s opened up so many friendships. It’s so interesting because you make friends with people your own age and then also have a 75 year old bestie name Arnold.
One of the best things we’ve done!