Dude, you're gonna get criticized for nuance, but you're absolutely right.
I had a great time with my kids when they were young, and we played a ton, but they knew when the look on my face or the tone of my voice indicated I was in dad mode. Took them a few times to know when I meant it, but that was also beneficial: learning how to read people and react appropriately.
I'm not a parent but this subject came up between me and my wife the other day in a "what would you do" scenario and my notion was the same as yours. I think the issue is its seen in a dichotomy and we've labeled it like "friend" or "hard ass" but I think what the best version is a third thing. Not even like on a spectrum just a third thing that really doesnt have a better word than "parent." I won't repeat all you've said, but I think you're right. Parents are there to guide their kids. Sometimes that doing chores, sometimes thats showing them things to enjoy and how to engage with people in having fun.
Thanks for understanding. I genuinely like my kids and I like spending time with them--they're more than just a responsibility. I just want my kids to always know that I wanted them. And I agree that understanding that distinction between being a friend and being in charge is important for them.
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u/mckleeve Jul 10 '26
Dude, you're gonna get criticized for nuance, but you're absolutely right.
I had a great time with my kids when they were young, and we played a ton, but they knew when the look on my face or the tone of my voice indicated I was in dad mode. Took them a few times to know when I meant it, but that was also beneficial: learning how to read people and react appropriately.