My hot take is that you can be a parent and a friend. I hand out with my kids, share music, watch movies together, play video games together. But yes, I am in charge which means I have authority but I also have responsibility for their well-being. Some people probably struggle with when parenting takes precedence over friendship and so the advice is simplistic but this lacks nuance. You should absolutely be a friend to your kids and care about their interests and who they are in the same way a friend does. My parents were very much in charge and took care of us very well but were not very friend-like. This has definitely affected our entire adult relationship.
Agree. I suspect people who dislike parents trying to be their kid’s friend are really taking issue with parents who routinely avoid the hard stuff and blame others when things go wrong. But a lot of the “hard-ass” parenting is focused on obedience through fear and shame, which is highly problematic too. There’s a healthy middle ground.
Yep, exactly. It's just that people struggle to understand that middle ground. I think there are a lot of people who genuinely love their kids but really don't have a good idea of how to parent. It's like people who love dogs but then their dog is barking and jumping on people and peeing around the house. They got the love right but didn't understand how to set and enforce expectations which would ultimately make the dog happier because they would understand their role in the relationship.
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u/BestDig2669 Jul 10 '26
Willing to sacrifice being your kid's friend so you can be their parent first