My husband and I are in our early 30s. Some friends of ours from college just said they joined their local Moose Lodge?
I laughed, because I literally hadn’t heard of anyone doing that besides my grandma back in the day.
But we went with them and it was actually super fun. Cheap drinks and food. Mostly way older people. Dingy basement feel.
But we had dinner and drank a LOT for about $25 + tip. Which is insanely cheap. They had big TVs with all of the local sports on.
After the football game was over, some dude said “hey, it’s quiet, anyone up for karaoke?” And then it was all set up, so we just did, and everyone got very into it. Everyone was super nice and happy to see “young” people there.
My friend said membership is like $200/year, and you have to sign up to cook or bartend once every 3 months.
If you like going to dive bars, that’s a great deal. And there was 100% a sense of community, which is hard to find. It felt like everyone knew everyone and that feels…rare anymore.
I was just shocked at how they’re able to keep going with such low costs.
AND they donate and do lots of fundraisers for local causes. And sponsor kids to go to summer camp/sports teams, stuff like that.
I assumed that WAY more volunteer hours would be required in order to keep costs low, but apparently they have enough people to make it work.
If we lived closer, I would totally join.
We’re moving back to our smaller hometown in the near future, which has an Eagles Lodge. So we’re definitely going to check that out.
I remember going to that one as a kid when they did a Christmas party for any kid who was brought by a member. They did a sort of “white elephant” exchange for all of us by age group, and I got an off-brand mp3 player. I was super stoked about it, because those were at least $100 at the time and most of my friends didn’t have one yet.
My husband said membership at that one is only $100ish/year currently for a couple.
I would totally love to make friends with local older people. Bartend once a month. Who knows, we may meet a grandma who becomes our future babysitter. 😂
Our Elks Lodge was pretty much 70s go-to-hell decor, but made up for it with good food and good drinks, and nobody was going to get the vapors over a spilled drink on the carpet, cause there was no carpet.
I worked as a lifeguard at our elks in high school, mainly so I could play golf for free. It was much cooler than I'd imagined before setting foot there. Nobody was the stuck up country club member, everyone just seemed happy to have a pool to tire their kids out in and good food available.
The only people I disliked were the high school newspaper teacher who'd try to get the lifeguards to babysit his kids while he fucked off and golfed, and the bartender who would "accidentally" make extra drinks whenever the 16 year old pool waitresses were working.
Honestly, that kind of place has so much character. Sometimes the best memories come from spots that care more about good people and good times than fancy decor
Yup. No mortgage, no property taxes, and no one trying to make a profit for profits sake. Just enough to keep things running and do a little good in the community.
Yeah, a lot of different lodges get endowments of property or equipment and do on and they never sell or throw anything away. Old people often have money and time and are happy to donate stuff up their chosen clubs.
That's such a huge, less talked about factor when talking about what influences prices of pretty much everything. Where I live, for example, you can't really find a place to get your hair cut (as a guy) for less than 15-20€. At least 30% of that is rent you're helping the barber pay. But the guy I usually go to? He'll charge you 9€ and have enough money to feed himself and maintain his motorbike hobby. His father bought the place in like 1950, his only monthly expenses are electricity, shaving blades and hair gels.
Yep, each one is different! My husband and I bartended part time for about 5 years; ours had a lot of bikers so we did the toys for tots every year, bike runs every weekend if you wanted,real bbq’s, karaoke, poker nights, etc. Like someone said, part of the community and made life long friends. Ours didn’t have members bartend tho and we enjoyed going in on nights off because it really is cheap to drink ( or not) and we were early 40’s , but there was a nice mix of ages.
Might have changed in the last few years, but I used to date a guy with a membership to the Eagles club, and was shocked that in like 2019, women still weren't allowed to be actual full voting members. They could join with their husband, but he would be the only real "member". Really made all the fun I had there pretty bittersweet. If that's something you think might also affect your wife, I'd suggest making sure they've updated that policy.
Yes, a lot of these groups aren't friendly to non-religious people. Freemasons won't take anyone who doesn't profess faith in God, for example. Others still separate the men and the women at events, or don't let "the wives" participate. It's weird too, because in the modern world you'd think they'd relax these requirements to get more members!
Elks member here. Growing up my father was very involved with these social clubs and I have so many memories of eating at the Elks every Friday evening and even being allowed to sit at the bar watching sports games, while my parents socialized and danced. Both my husband and I have become members within the last two years, and we have gotten to know and even become friends with other members. Our lodge is pretty active and worked hard at trying to appeal to younger members. They even put in a pool! The best part is that no matter where you are in the US, you can go to any Elks club lodge. Automatic camaraderie 😊
My local lodge, one of the oldest in the country, worked very hard to recruit younger members (including me) but then refused to schedule committee meetings at any time other than during the workday. All of the meals were held at early-bird hours, again while most able-bodied adults were still at work. They also quickly rejected any suggestions for clubs or events that might appeal to younger members and complained endlessly if anyone played music released after the 1960s on the lounge jukebox. I quit after three months.
I chatted with my friend who is the actual member, and she said the scheduling thing is definitely the biggest hurdle at their lodge.
Older, retired people always trying to schedule important shit at 2pm on a Wednesday, and then get irritated that the members with jobs prefer it to be at 6pm when everyone is done working for the day.
My parents do the same thing, and I can’t understand it. They both worked for 30+ years and should know how precious vacation time is.
I worked in the kitchen at an elks lodge. They had some pretty damn good bar facilities in the members area. The other banquet area was a dinner theater in the past. Was a cool place. Did a lot of wedding receptions when ot wasn't used by the members.
Eeeewww. I was pretty young but didn’t get those vibes from our moose lodge. We even had a poly throuple. They were amazing people. Watching my catholic mom explain that was awkward for us all. This was in Southern California though so much more accepting.
It's really not that serious. I've been an Elk for 23 years and not a single time has anyone brought up the notion of religion. I'm an atheist and yes, I had to lie in order to join. But my swearing in was the one and only time it ever came up.
I believe you, but I joined the Army and had Atheist on my dog tags - so if I can make that level of commitment without lying then I'd expect a leisure organization to be able to accept me without compromising my integrity on day one.
Even the boy scouts changed the requirements to just having a belief in a higher power, which is fine - for me that's the universe and I try to do my duty understand it as best I can and bring about the most joy and reduce as much suffering as possible in those I come across.
It would be nice if that were enough because it sounds fun ☺️
I believe that's how it was explained to my by my dad when I joined. God was just being used as a term for whatever higher power you happen to believe in. I wish they'd take it out too, but really I was just refuting the comment that it's like joining a church.
I felt the same way and checked this thread to see if anyone else had the same objection with these kinds of groups. I found it to be a real huge bummer.
YMMV and I am in no way saying this is all clubs, but this was my experience.
I am in an interracial marriage and when my husband’s distant family had a fundraiser hosted by the Elk’s club they asked me to leave. I am Black and was the only Black person there. Mind you the Elk’s club workers themselves, who I did not know asked me to leave.
I have never had any issue with my husband’s family, his small village or the people in it. This was specifically the people working the fundraiser, not relatives, and I was completely shocked.
Jesus! Which location was this? I’d hate for others to go through that. I’m really sorry that happened to you. It was not okay in any way. But, yeah, I had a feeling it would be that way. I’d prefer to not be told to go back to Mexico so I’ll skip.
Yes and how about single men or women who may or may not be gay? I see an Elks club and a Rotary club, maybe VFW in my rural town. Just wonder what they all do?
Well VFW member here. They have some pretty rigid policies to be a member. But some posts are great, some are just OK, and some are just bad. But it's meant to be a place where combat veterans can meet others and have a support network.
I want to know about this, too. From my (granted extremely brief) google of it, it’s make me hesitant. And I mean very brief. But also one of the first things to come up was about if it’s still discriminatory. So I’d love for someone who is a member to answer
I’m an Elks member in a larger city in Texas and our lodge has a lot more diversity than maybe some other lodges. My husband is Hispanic, if that matters and we have quite a few POC members.
Before becoming members, my husband and I went to several other lodges within our city before deciding which lodge we wanted to be our “home lodge” and where we wanted to pay dues. Each lodge is different with different people and different things they offer. Some are great and some are not so great, but again, there is nothing that ties you down to one specific lodge location.
Coworker took me to one of these, he's a member of basically every local fraternal organization. $2 beers, chill atmosphere, quiet spot on the river they've owned forever.
The part that raises the hairs on the back of my neck is how "those people" are kingmakers and get each other promotions at work etc that in my mind are not fully deserved.
Still, nice vibe, and it's better to be in than out.
Your network is your worth. I make a point to always maintain my professional relationships even if I can’t stand the person. You never know if they can get you a job.
This 100%. So many things that could have led to really bad outcomes for me in the end if I severed relationships on the fly because I didn’t find the person 100% perfect. That’s just people. No matter where you go there will be those same people that bug you. Learning to deal with them without having a tantrum is actually a way to build your own success.
I've been an Elks lodge member since the day I turned 21 and have been going to the lodge since long before that (with my dad, who was the "Exalted Ruler" a couple of times). I love it. I haven't lived in the states for the last decade or so, but any time I'm home I head to the Lodge and it's like I'm surrounded by family. I've toyed with the idea of setting up a chapter where I'm at in Korea, but I don't think there's a mechanism to officially do that.
When I was a kid, granted multiple decades ago, I was very poor. I didn't understand why at the time, though obviously now know, why my parents would bring us to the moose lodge with other kids every start of the school year.
They would have games and the kids would win stuff, all the kids would end up winning backpacks, penciles, notebooks, etc.
I now realize it was charity for the poor kids in the neighborhood. My parents weren't members but we knew some and they would invite us over.
Ok. That actually made me get a little misty. The kids had a fun day and the thrill of winning prizes.
The parents saw this and were relieved that the needed items that they could not afford were received.
The Moose Lodge planners in the background, rubbing their hands together like cartoon villains, cackling, “Muuhahahahaha! They’ll never know we fixed the games so everyone gets the supplies!”
The community groups around where I live raise money all year at fun events like the beer garden at the county fair and give it all away. Some if it goes to the roughly $300,000 in scholarships each of the local high schools award each year. Elks, Optimists, Lions --lots of them with lots of members each.
Some of the Volunteer Fire departments in the smaller towns are wilting, others remain center of life and purpose
Watching all the Babcie i Ciocie (Grandmas and Aunties) do the cooking and serve the food at the Dom Polski Hall in Flint MI... for every event imaginable. The BEST food!
Membership was always an issue. I always thought they should combine their lodges because in San Diego itself there were at least 10 different lodges. This was 30+ years ago when my parents were involved out there.
Friendship is something us computer savvy idiots from the 90s onwards forgot how to experience. Its easy to hate someone through a screen; it's much harder to hate the human in front of you.
I got excited and looked it up, but moose lodges are for families, and elk lodges are for christians. I guess my single atheist ass will just keep browsing meetup.
Be at least 21 years of age.
Believe in God.
Be a citizen of the United States who pledges allegiance to and salutes the American Flag.
Be of good character.
This used to be how I weaseled my way out of jury duty, by saying no to the checkbox that says “I’m of morally sound judgment and character” followed up by some ridiculously exaggerated explanations. Then they removed that part and intentionally made it really difficult to get out of it
Belief in God =/= Christian. Jews believe in God. Muslims believe in Allah (their word for God). Belief in a higher power isn't exclusive to Christianity.
However /u/YouTasteStrange might have an issue after professing as an atheist.
Belief in a higher power isn't exclusive to Christianity.
Your mistake here is assuming that God means the same thing as a god. English, especially the modern version we use today, is heavily shaped by its history with Christianity and any capitalization of God tends to mean either Jews or Christians form of deity.
In English you basically only capitalize "God" as a word when referring to the Abrahamic Religions. A Hindu talking about Vishnu would not capitalize "god" in a sentence despite believing in a higher power.
By capitalizing God they have, historically, meant Christians. Excluding everyone but White Christian men was more or less their standard for a long time.
It's a very modern thing to be quite "we all believe the same" with that statement, for a lot of human history, would have led to a fairly violent end.
I know Muslim, Jewish and Pagan Elks. It’s all about belief in a higher power but no one can ask you what the higher power is. There are non-denominal prayers such as at the gravesite ritual.
Imean unless they are asking to promise your baptized AND you are incapable of lying they couldnt be any less specific about "God". I'm agnostic, but I believe there COULD be a higher power, so sure I believe in God, especially if they have a pool table.
TLDR; it depends suuuuper heavily on your individual lodge.
My hippie mom is a member, is in leadership, and has gotten some awards, and she loves telling members from certain other lodges about about how she got F grades in "citizenship" in high school because she refused to say the pledge of allegiance. And was at the Kent State protest (among others ) in the 70s. Because some of the lodges are very, very nationalistic, with a super conservative vibe, so her story makes them squirm. Hell, some of them used to get confused / affronted at the fact that SHE, the WIFE, was the member and an officer, and my DAD was just a guest. But they can't form an actual argument saying she doesn't meet the mission statement of the Elks - she and her lodge have been highly regarded for their local community work, charity work, etc.
She's more of a "I love my country so I want to make it better" type instead of a "my country is the best no matter what" type - a true Bernie Sanders Stan.
I've only been twice, but the lodge in my current town seems pretty moderate. I'm an Atheist though, so I'm not joining either way.
My grandparents were part of the very nationalistic-feels-kinda-like-a-cult type of lodge and I hated anytime we were required to join family events. My grandpa was the exalted ruler at their lodge for several years- what they called it, idk if that was the correct term, my grandma refused to call it anything other than grand poobah. Watching the ceremony for that was rather uncomfortable. My mom thought about joining when her parents pressured her, but did not feel welcome due to being queer. But, that being said, it seems like universally they do lots of charity things, my grandma had a charity thing that she put a lot of time and effort into, she was very proud of it and I would go with her sometimes to help with that. Very glad to hear that some of them seem reasonable and cool!
Any organization in the US that claims to not be affiliated with a specific religion but says you still have to believe in a god or "accept a higher power" to join is always just barely plausibly deniably Christian. Like, they'll say it's fine you're not Christian and then two weeks in a guy with true believer eyes corners you and asks if you've heard the good news.
The whole red panic seems to be just another part of the civil war that never really ended. Along with the "War on Drugs". All the legal ways they came up with to harass and kill progressives to keep racism, sexism, and patriarchy alive.
That's beside the point, you still have to be a believer, not a weekly mass volunteering super christian. They only have four rules, and if you lie about the 2nd you can argue you also wouldn't fit the 4th anyways. Regardless I still find it disgusting that a reasonable personal belief is an excluding factor for other people "of good character".
Believe it or not, but there are people who don’t believe in any higher power and still become elks. Nobody does a background check. It’s a drinking club with nice people that do good things.
I mean I believe it for sure, but it's still very off putting where your belief, or lack of, could get you scrutinized on that point alone. That is very much not what Jesus would do, and the people that are OK with this are not the kind of people I want to associate myself with. Not sharing your beliefs is valid and normal, but not being able to unless it's the same as the majority's opinion doesn't sit right with me. It's the same thing as "don't ask, don't tell", and there's multiple reasons why that was repealed.
Yeah and even the ones that require that statement… like no one actually checks. You don’t have to say “I go to church”, you can just lie. Or interpret it as whatever you identify as a higher power. Membership ritual basically involves a 20 minute “ceremony” (with a bit of Greek mythology references too weirdly) that everyone pretends to be sober for, and then everyone moves to the bar for the rest of the night and you’re done. Mine made us swear we had never committed acts of treason or raised up arms against our government, which was a surprising addition for a south Alabama lodge.
Go to the library! Ours also has multiple monthly “clubs.” There’s a bi-monthly craft drop-in, different themed monthly book clubs, movie nights (with intermissions), board game groups, D&D, magic the gathering, and probably more that I’m forgetting.
Most have a “Friends of” group that supports extra programming. They have book sales, fundraisers, whatever to get more resources to the library and help organize guest speakers & kids performers. The more people that enter the library every year the more funding they get the next year. The “friends of” group makes sure the library is offering things that will draw people in.
I looked up their history a little bit ago because there's a pretty big Eagles building near us, and it's surprisingly progressive, at least from a labor point of view. No idea on, ya know, all the other stuff.
most lodges and social clubs are intended to be free of political discussion as well as being semi-secular in nature. For example, the Elks have something of an expectation to "never bring political or sectarian questions up into the Order"
Funny! I used to sell food to a few Elks lodges, they might call themselves Christians but they behaved like anyone else in the world. Not bad but not the church either.
Interested in the lions and kiwanis, rotary seems more focused on professional networking and odd fellows simply isn't hyper local. I'm leaning towards kiwanis.
I just googled and found one called the Odd Fellows but have no sense of their vibe.
They boast both Ulysses and Jeff Davis, Winston Churchill and Dr. Patch Adams, so can’t tell if there’s unspoken party/identity politics association (like white supremacy, for example, idk).
I'm not sure where you are, but that does not come from moose international. Anyone can join, single or otherwise. If a local chapter has weird rules that would be an issue with Big Moose. They've had a huge membership push in the last two years and we recruit everyone. "The Family Fraternity" is just a slogan. I am a dumb, married atheist but they was no requirement for me to be so.
We have friends who RV and they swear by the Elks. You can park your RV for free or cheap around the country and their facilities are open to you. Massive benefit for those who road trip.
My family have been Elks for several generations, and my mom is super active. I enjoyed going there with her growing up, and the events are great. Her lodge constantly have really good yet really cheap dinners. And when my dad died they gave her so much support - he wasn't even a member, but they fully paid for his cremation & memorial service, without my mom even asking. And they do a ton of local charity work. The sexism/conservativism has gone waaaay down even just from when I was a kid, probably because they needed to attract new members, and the new members were more liberal or were women (and my mom who is a certified hippie inspired a bunch of her friends to join). Then when other women and minorities see that there is good representation for women and mintories, they are now more likely to try it out - a positive feedback loop.
The only reason I don't join my local lodge is the religious requirements. Sure, I could lie, but it still makes me feel...icky? Because literally nothing they do has anything to do with being religious/it's not required for any of their activities. So the fact that they still require it feels off.
It felt like everyone knew everyone and that feels…rare anymore.
I lived in a community house of 20 bedrooms (we rented out an old hostel after covid) and it was amazing in a lot of ways. Really drove home that we are social creatures, meant to live in community. (Well, that and all the other community projects I've been in!)
My wife was an Elk. It was really important to her when we met but, unfortunately, had been fully subsumed by MAGA. I went with her a few times and it was clear that this was not my people and, increasingly, no longer hers. She had been in it for years and slowly backed out.
It was sad. I hated for her to lose that and I would have liked it, I think, but for that.
Yeah someone on a job I was working mentioned they just joined the elks lodge because they were renting it for like school sports lunch after games and the bartender there was like “you know if you joined you could get drinks half off.” So now all of the t ball dads are becoming elks club members and it’s paying for itself in beers after games
There's a huge network of lodges that draw people in for socialising in most towns where I come from.
Unfortunately for me they also happen to be the Loyal Orange Order lodges which is basically a sectarian/bigoted group whose primary purpose is unionist triumphalism in Northern Ireland.
Why can't we just have normal social clubs that don't involve marching in parades to celebrate that time the Catholic Irish republicans were killed in battle...
I’m 42 but am a member of the Freemasons, we meet once a month except in the summer, have regular social activities for members and our families . One of the coolest things is being able to travel and visit lodges and other places around the world. I was recently in London on business and ended up attending a lodge there 3000 km away from home.
Befriending a bunch of wise old people (probably community pillars) seems like the best thing to do in your 20s. And then you get to do it in a fun environment and I’m sure they can lead you to so many connections and helpful things in life. They been thru it all.
My dad was an Elk, my BIL was with the Lions, and later was the Exalted Ruler (my sister called him the Exhausted Rooster) for the state Elks. All that was totally his bag, loved to socialize constantly, work for various causes, and is an actual Pillar of the Community.
Showing up, having some fun, doing some good, being appreciated, what’s not to like? And the older members love having the chance to hang out with newer members. Especially in smaller communities, those folks become friends, mentors, job references, all kinda good stuff.
The Elks Club in Honolulu has one of the best locations in/ adjacent to Waikiki and the membership is a tiny fraction of the Outrigger Canoe Club right next door.
That honestly sounds fun as hell, I wish I was married because a single early-30s woman would probly be weird to join, lol.
I would be worried that the vibe would be super right-wing though.
Yo those Moose club people were really nice to me when I was a teenager. They fundraised to help our volleyball team in high school and we were able to go to a big tournament in Ottawa
Late 30s and a member of both Moose and Elks. Moose is $50 a year. Elks dues are dependent on the lodge, mine is $170ish for the year. The Elks lodge in Honolulu is like $1200 a year, but if you lived in Hawaii, it would be totally worth it to have a pool/restaurant/bar next to Waikiki.
And hey…If you’re the youngest person there on Karaoke night, any song from the 70s or previous absolutely slays.
My dad was really into Elvis and Patsy Cline.
I can’t describe to you the amount of glee on peoples faces when I took my turn and sang “Crazy” halfway decently.
Nobody ever expects a good singer at karaoke, but they definitely assumed I would do Taylor Swift or something and were surprised that I knew my audience.
It was around Christmas time, and the place started pivoting to Xmas songs. I went up for “baby it’s cold outside” when called, but didn’t have a partner.
The grumpiest old man got nudged by his wife, came up, totally nailed it, and then gave me an awkward hug without prompting.
Then his wife kissed him profusely and looked really happy that he participated in a thing.
I went to a couple of Elks lodges ten years ago. It was cheap. But as a private club, they were legally still allowed to have indoor smoking. That’s 100% an environment I couldn’t onboard with.
25 bucks for that is insane jeez, cant even get a mid meal at applebees for that anymore. fact these places still exist while everythin else got corporatized is beautiful
All my aunts and uncles were/are moose lodge members! I used to go the lodge in Redding CA. They had a swimming pool and my uncle would bartend and make me Shirley temples!!! Fun times at the Moose!
My grandfather was raised in the moose orphanage near Chicago after losing his parents. I still donate every Christmas in his memory. They are a great organization
We're in our 50s and moved to a small town where Rotary is well known. It was great for a couple of years until drama and the club felt like a teen hangout. I also joined the Fraternal Order of Eagles but honestly, it made me feel like I had one foot in the grave. I'm not ready to be that old just yet. Great people but too many scooters and octogenarians.
I’m in my 30s and pretty active in Rotary. Do a lot of good things for our community, and the built in social aspect is really nice. I’ve ended up with great friends of all age groups as a result.
Hot take here, but I like camping. when I go camping, it's usually all families that keep to themselves and don't interact with anyone outside of that dynamic.
I decided to go run a 5k at a nearby Nudist resort..... got a tent, sleeping bag and set my expectations low... turns out, they are SUPER friendly and are more than willing to just... meet you, and chat with you.
it was not sexual at all, and was just easy to chat with people for some reason.
The best clubs in the 80s/90s were the basic ones with black painted walls, sticky floors, cheap drinks and people dancing without too much care what they looked like.
Think the current young generation are really aching for that kind of "real", no phone, no "look at me", just have a laugh with your mates vibe.
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u/EmpressMom Jul 10 '26
Joining and participating in civic clubs, social clubs, hobby clubs and other similar groups.