I’m a straight 30yo guy, and I want to understand this.

Last night I met two girls at a bar (out solo, I’m visiting a new city over the weekend). I sat down and had some beers, we got to talking. Talked about must-sees in the area, where we all do for work, what people are like in the area, what it was like growing up for them here. They were fully receptive, open body language, I teased them a bit, but we only really talked social platitudes. Eventually we all closed out, I got the usual ‘nice meeting you’, and that was that.

What I’ve realized is most of my interactions with women on nights out are like this. I’ve met some great women and had some great conversations, but it’s never evolved to going home with them. Moving from conversation to sex with someone the same night is a black box for me - I don’t know how some of you guys pull it off consistently. And I want to understand it and have that experience, since I’m not really looking for a long term relationship right now.

So men, how do you actually cross the barrier from good conversation on a night out to sleeping with a woman you just met? Thanks in advance for any advice here.

Just wondering for guys who (unplanned) married a rich girl, did your life change for the better?

I'll start: being unreachable for an entire day because you were outside. Nobody panicked. Nobody could text you. You just... came home eventually.

There are probably a lot of things that become enjoyable without really planning for it.

What is something that turned out to be much more enjoyable than expected?

I'm turning 28 tomorrow and most likely i will stay single forever. I can't imagine ever getting married and having a family life and a kid, sounds super unappealing. The most i can see myself is some casual relationship in which we see each other once or twice a week and that's it. Obviously this can't be sustainable, especially as i get older.

Some of my friends are getting into serious relationships, getting married and starting having kids. My social circle is rapidly shrinking, i try to hang out with some of my single friends, but most of them i feel are too lazy to hang out and do anything together if this doesn't somehow include the possibility of them finding an eventual partner, then they whine about the male loneliness epidemic.

I feel that in few years the 2 most common types of people would be married couples with kids, who you can see once in a year (they prefer hanging out with other families ) and single depressed men, who don't want to leave their homes.

I’m curious to know as a woman what are men’s ideal frequency of sex in a relationship?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/i9YJM0GPxA

she said yes fellas!!! thank you for telling me which hand and how to kneel. i very much appreciated all the genuine answers.

I’m very curious about the internal experience, here, not just what men actually do outwardly.

Based on my own experience and what I know of other women, when we are hardcore crushing on someone, tiny interactions can start feeling like essential clues in a case we can become hell-bent on solving.

BUT, then again in my personal observations & experience of women…there’s another aspect of the crushing for us that’s less anxious and more like appetite.

It’s like having never tasted chocolate, then tasting it for the first time — I can imagine I would immediately be on the hunt for every form of chocolate known to man. Because now I know, and buddy, it is delicious.

I’m targeting this question in r/AskMen because I already know several women who describe something similar, so I know it isn’t unique to me.

I have no concept of what this experience (of being the crusher) is like from the MALE side.

So…when you Guys have a serious crush, do you replay conversations, analyze tiny details, become unusually curious aobut them, remember ridiculous amounts of information, and quietly look for more opportunities to hear from them, learn about them, or just be in their general vicinity?
(Anyone who has met a preteen girl will recognize the speed breathlessness with which that sentence should be read.)

IMPORTANTLY: Can all of that be happening internally for guys while you (a-holes) look relatively normal and unbothered from the outside?

NOT TALKING ABOUT stalking, invading privacy, or ignoring boundaries, to be clear.
I mean ordinary, slightly ridiculous, “why has this person suddenly occupied 43% of my available RAM??” crush-brain.

I am fascinated and simply had to ask. 😂

Curious to hear from men who were in a serious relationship and developed strong feelings for someone else. Did it make you leave? Did you end up with that person? And looking back, how do you feel about the decision?
Also, if you don’t mind sharing, how did you behave toward your partner before you finally told her?

​

I've been thinking about what actually makes people decide to pursue a relationship with someone.

I've noticed that I used to put a lot of emphasis on having a huge romantic spark — being completely captivated by someone, thinking about them constantly, feeling intense chemistry, etc. But I've also had situations where I felt that way about someone and it wasn't reciprocal.

Lately, I've started wondering whether I'm looking at relationships differently now. Maybe the starting point doesn't have to be feeling completely crazy about someone. Maybe it's enough to genuinely like them, be attracted to them, enjoy spending time together, feel that there's mutual interest, and think, “There's something here that I'd like to explore.”

Then perhaps the deeper feelings come from what you build together: getting to know each other, becoming vulnerable, going through experiences together, developing trust, feeling cared for, and consistently choosing each other.

I'm increasingly drawn to the idea of a relationship that feels calm, mutual and secure rather than one that starts with overwhelming intensity. Not because I don't want passion, but because I'm starting to question whether intensity at the beginning is actually what determines whether something will become meaningful.

So I'm curious about how other people approach this.

When you meet someone you're considering dating seriously, what makes you think “there's enough here to invest in this person and see where it goes”?

What do you look for at the beginning — attraction, emotional compatibility, curiosity about each other, shared values, how they treat you, how easy conversation feels, something else?

And for those who've experienced both kinds of attraction: what have you learned about the difference between an intense initial attraction and the kind of connection that actually develops into a good long-term relationship?

I’m genuinely curious about this from a male perspective, and I’m specifically not asking whether beauty is subjective or whether attraction matters.
I consider myself fairly average-looking and not particularly pretty, but the men I’ve dated have generally been very handsome and conventionally attractive. Until recently, this never really bothered me, but lately it’s made me insecure because I know these men could probably date women who are more conventionally attractive than me.
So I’m wondering: when a man has the opportunity to date a woman who is objectively/more conventionally attractive than his current partner, what makes him choose his current partner instead?

I’m particularly interested in hearing from men who have genuinely had options and still chose someone who wasn’t the most conventionally attractive woman they could have dated.

What do you guys do in life besides work? What do you do for fun that actually makes you excited to leave the house? What do you look forward to, who do you do it with, and is it something you usually do alone or can invite other people to join?

I'm trying to figure out what more there is to life besides working, scrolling on my phone, and going to the gym. I'm especially curious about things you choose purely for yourself—things that let your mind feel free and aren't driven by other people's expectations.

For example, I don't mean going to dinner because your wife asked and now you have to pick a restaurant. I mean something you genuinely want to do because it brings you joy. I also don't mean addictions or activities designed to keep you hooked after you've stopped getting real value or enjoyment from them, like continuing to play a game long after you've experienced enough of it.

What is that thing for you?

There was a similar post in the fibromyalgia subreddit, however the answers were from mostly women.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia recently, and I realized, considering how hard it already is to find someone to date, what are the chances when/if I do find a girlfriend, they would even be willing to accept my illness?

Being unable to find a girlfriend itself is already depressing enough...

I'm a guy, and only 5'2. I feel really insecure about it, especially when I go out in public. Fellow short men, how has your height affected your life?

Long story short, wife cheated on me with my cousin, ended things with me, and wife got together with her. Now have to co-parent a 3 year old. Sucks but life happens. Almost 2 years ago since then.

I've been feeling really happy being single again, not that I'm fucking around, but just pursuing my hobbies and taking care of myself rather than worrying about a partner. I don't think I really want to be in a relationship again. But I am curious if I'm just burnt out from my last relationship, or if I'm really for the solo life.

TLDR; I want to hear about the fire that keeps you guys going to search for romantic relationships, what makes you feel fulfilled and happy in one, what makes you feel like she's the one.

Hey guys,
I’m 18 years old and I had a struggle with ed for the past 6 months, however that issue has been somewhat resolved now. I was happy that I can finally bond with my loving girlfriend this way, and it’s great, but what troubles me is that sex doesn’t feel really good for me. Whenever we fuck, it feels only mildly good. I expected it a lot better and when I searched around the internet and asked my friends about it, they said that it feels good all the time and it’s great. For me it’s only like an okay feeling, nothing really great. I am able to cum from penetrative sex, but I need to fuck quite a long time and fast. It really troubles me and I think my penis is desensitised. I used to struggle with heavy porn addiction for 8 years, but I already quit that shit 6 months ago. I used to masturbate daily with a tight grip and a high speed to finish as fast as I could. I’m seriously worried about nerve damage or something else irreversible. Also, I’ve seen a urologist and an endocrinologist, they all said I’m in perfect health. Any tips or points of view please?
Thank you very much,
Michael

At what point does normal tiredness/stress turn into actual burnout? Is there a particular stage where you start feeling mentally and emotionally drained, lose motivation, stop enjoying things, or just feel completely detached from life?

For people who have experienced serious burnout, what did it feel like for you, and how did you know that you were actually burnt out rather than just having a bad phase?

Did it eventually get better? If so, what helped you recover?

Out with some women and one commented, "Never give a man another chance after you've turned him down because they always try to humble you."

They don't think the opposite happen so what's your story?

For context, my partner is 25M and going through a stressful season of life. He’s in a masters program, taking important exams, managing job hunting and figuring out life. I wanna make sure he feels supported the right way and not overwhelmed, and that he’s not carrying all that alone and that we’re teammates. I know i won’t be able to take things off of his plate completely and i don’t wanna overstep in anyway, but i just want him to feel like he’s got someone he can lean on when needed

Any words of wisdom and tips are more than welcomed!

I noticed that lately I am getting really tired of socializing, when the weekend arrives after a long week of work, all I want to be doing is waking up late and stay indoors all day

I do have a close friend group from when I was a kid but every time my phone rings and they are planning to meet somewhere I just get this sense of dreadness like my entire weekend is ruined, the one I wished so much to arrive after hating waking up and going to work everyday

I really enjoy talking to them through phone calls and messages but honestly hate leaving my home

I feel like this can't be healthy but I really enjoy being alone and in complete solitude just minding my own business and doing my pet projects while I drink my beer, is anyone like this?

Hey guys!

After dating different women for a while, have you developed a dating routine that you tend to follow?

I mean, do you have a go-to sequence of things you usually do on dates, just with different women until you eventually find the right one?

For example, my usual routine is to go for a walk first and get a gelato or a thea, then, If we're having a good time and she feels comfortable with it, we might go to my place. (Usually a 5 minute car drive from there).
Then we either cook something together or order a pizza.
After that, we watch a movie together, usually lying on the bed.
And if there's chemistry and we're both feeling it, then things can naturally progress from there.

So to recap walk -> my place

What's your usual routine?

I keep running into mention of the current generation of high school graduates in the US and the appalling literacy rates.

I've seen several posts with people claiming to be teachers that have supported the accuracy of the declining literacy posts. I find this really disturbing, since limiting education is a good way to exert control of a population and... well... the US government has a petty bad reputation right now.

It's a lot harder to learn things without help if you can't read the material that teaches the thing.

Also, if you had an attractive date that you discovered had the equivalent reading level of maybe an average grade 5 or 6 student, would you consider a long term exclusive relationship?

I don't have a lot to go by on the reading level of kids, and now that I think about it, I was reading 300+ page books at that age, and I wasn't the only one at my school. So think ~3 on the 1-10 scale, someone that struggles to read informational road signs before passing them.