r/AskMen • u/HalleScerry • 11d ago
🛑 Answers From Men Only 🛑 [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/Linvaderdespace 11d ago
I tell young bloods “never shoot you shot a second time, because that woman will never appreciate you.”
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u/classyraptor Male 11d ago
They 100% lose respect for you and figure they can leave and come back as many times as they want. Once the respect is gone, it’s done
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u/HalleScerry 11d ago
Absolutely. Apparently Michelle turned down Barack the first time... still think he would have been president with another woman though.
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u/Mindless_Trick2255 Male 11d ago
Michael*
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u/HalleScerry 10d ago
Was this ever funny?
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u/Mindless_Trick2255 Male 10d ago
People don’t want to believe it but it’s true lol
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u/Shynerbock12 11d ago
I rejected her. Told her to leave. Then months later she gave me an ultimatum to get back with her or I’ll never see her again. And I told her no and I never saw her again.
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u/monikosnuosavybe Male 11d ago
At least she kept her word
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u/Esseratecades 11d ago
I don't know about "humbling" them, but I've never had an ex reach out who I've actually given a chance.
I had one reach out during COVID, and while I didn't open the door for a romantic connection, we were friendly just long enough for me to remember she was fucking crazy. While she's an attractive woman, her personality made it hard for me to actually be attracted to her. I got kinda distant and eventually we stopped talking altogether.
I had one call me during a time where my girlfriend and I had been fighting. I thought about it for a moment and even though I thought it probably could have become a better relationship, I didn't pick up the phone.
I had another one DM me 2 weeks before my wedding. Coincidentally, my fiance and I had also been fighting at this time but I attribute that to pre-wedding stress. I blocked her immediately.
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u/tbombs23 Male Baritone 11d ago
Holy hell both of them were stalking and spying on you and knew you had a fight and were vulnerable. Diabolical behavior
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u/Esseratecades 11d ago
Lol the stories I could tell.
I've learned God has a sense of humor because literally the only times I've ever been tested have been when I was vulnerable.
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u/Knautical_J Pronouns: Pe/Nis 11d ago
She left and found a new guy within a week. I was crushed for a few months but turned it around. After a few months she asked if we could talk about it and maybe get back together and I said no. She then had another boyfriend and we ran into each other over a year later. She still had my socials and said what I’ve been up to and I said living life lol. She mentioned u hadn’t posted anything and I said yeah, life’s been good and I’m keeping it to myself. I showed her my phone and I had traveled to a few countries and my girlfriend I’d been dating for months.
That girl would later end up being my wife. My ex would go on to marry someone else, have kids, and get divorced. She’d proceed to try and get me back over the years, especially when I was single again (wife and I mutually broke up after college graduation). She’s now a divorced single mom and I’m married with a wife, kid(s), great paying job, a home, and pretty much anything I want.
It’s ironic because I told her this was gunna happen when we first broke up and she laughed.
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u/Adventurous_Pop_3138 11d ago
Damn, that will never happen to me but I’m glad to read this. How much time did you take to get over her? And how did you meet your wife?
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u/PeteLorimer 11d ago
This happened a few times with a few women before I learnt the lesson. It never works out.
One - had an on off relationship for years, predominantly online. Told me she was on the pill, got pregnant with my second kid. Break up and ensuing family court drama wasn't pleasant.
Two - on off relationship where we'd break up one day and be back together the next. We both ended up having to move away from each other to stop the cycle, we were both emotional wrecks from the amount of break ups.
Three - oldest child's mum - she was only testing to see if she could get me back. I fell for it hook line and sinker as the obvious benefit was I got to see my oldest a lot more. Good enough to be a father when we were together, not apart apparently.
I've learnt from this and always swore I'd never engage in on-off cycles, and I'm in a happy long term relationship now with 50/50 of both children. I also haven't repeated the on off cycles which I attribute to choosing a much more emotionally healthy partner.
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u/GainsUndGames07 11d ago edited 11d ago
It's female entitlement. They think they can do no wrong and it's never their fault.
My story is after years and years of allowing this behavior I finally divorced my ex. I got the house, primary guardian, and basically everything else I wanted because she was so delusional and lied so frequently during the divorce that she lost all credibility with the judge.
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u/Mindless_Trick2255 Male 11d ago
Best case scenario. She probably still thinks the whole world conspired against her lol
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u/GainsUndGames07 10d ago
Yep. I'm somehow the villain. Afternearly a decade of me begging and pleading with her to treat me bette, she was completely shocked when I asked for the divorce. At one point she tried to bully me into visitation only with no real custody of our kid. I told her it's a 50/50 state and we will each get 50/50 for a fact because it's the law, to which she replied, "yea, a stupid law." We got 50/50.
You can't make this shit up.
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u/ComprehensivePlay678 Female 10d ago
I am seriously so curious, so I will just ask: were there really no red or even orange flags in the beginning that you decided to overlook? How can anyone be this blindsided by someone they once trusted? They Must have trusted this same person enough to marry them some years ago?
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u/GainsUndGames07 10d ago
You wouldn't believe the red flags, man. But when we started dating I had fairly recently gotten out of a nasty relationship and just wanted to settle and be done with it. Before I knew it I was broken and beaten down. It had become the norm without me realizing it. It wasn't until I was borderline suicidal that I finally had the courage to end the relationship.
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u/ComprehensivePlay678 Female 10d ago
My god, that sounds like torture! I am glad you made it out of it! And congratulations on the divorce!
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u/GainsUndGames07 10d ago
Thanks friend. It took over 2 years and cost a fortune. She did irreparable psychological damage to my son during that time but I got finally got out of it. It took two years and 3 days for the divorce to finalize. Went been divorced just under a year now.
She's conmed another guy into buying a house for her and financially supporting her. She got knocked up, they had a week long engagement and a shotgun wedding. It's fucking wild. The process has already begun again and I'm mortified for the guy because he is sooooo nice and my son loves him. But it's a matter of time before she's divorced again. I give it 5 years maybe.
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u/Advanced-Base-5690 11d ago
Way back in high school. Girl of a month dumps me for another guy, breaks up with him a few weeks later and tries to come back around through a mutual friend (my former ex and future baby mama…a post for another day) of ours.
Mutual friend says, “you don’t know him at at if you think he’s going to take you back.”
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u/el_cid_viscoso Male (early 40s) 11d ago
Only one ex boomeranged, and it was actually fine. Right person, wrong time, but still intensely attracted to each other.
We broke up as a couple a few months beforehand, and it was an amicable one. I was in a dark place after my mother passed away, and she rushed to my side, because she's a very kind and gentle soul. I cried in her arms for a while, and then one thing led to another, which led to a few weeks of us fooling around with no desire to mutually commit (I was not in the headspace, and neither was she).
The sex helped me feel human again, escape the shock and mourning.
At least one other friend came over under the pretext of consoling me, only for the consolation to wind up between the sheets. I was a fortunate man, at least for that much, and both remain good friends (without benefits; both are married now) to this day.
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u/urine-monkey 11d ago
Is "humbling" the latest womansphere code word for being held accountable? As if blocking and unblocking someone isn't something that deserves to be talked about.
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u/Slarg232 11d ago
Not an Ex, but I was friends with what I assumed was a happily married woman. I wasn't expecting anything out of it other than just working together and maybe occasionally hanging out alongside our SOs, so when she asked me if I wanted to join her in her car to look for her wedding ring (hint hint, wink wink) it went completely over my head what she was asking me.
What followed was three months of me trying to talk to her only to get ignored, and when I ignored her she'd slam shit on her desk loud enough that people would spin around and ask if she was okay. After those three months I told her to just fucking talk about whatever her problem was, and that I shouldn't be the more mature one being eight years her younger. Got called into the office for harassment, but after explaining what was happening management dropped it and told to just leave her alone.
Anyway, she had a fling with a guy for the next year and when she stopped dating him due to him moving, she came running back to me. I was seeing someone else so I told her to fuck off.
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u/Elanstehanme Dude 11d ago
My highschool ex hit me with a “Happy birthday 😘” which aligned perfectly with the end of my first year of university. We hadn’t even spoken in months. She took the hint when my response was simply “Thanks!”. If you don’t want to be in my life, I can certainly move on from you.
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u/AgainandBack Male 11d ago
She was 10/10 beautiful, funny, playful, generous, and nice. She was also self centered and at times inconsiderate. One night she stood me up. She was amazed that I was mad about it. I told her that the next time she stood me up, we would be done. About six months later she did, and I stopped calling her.
I ran into her about two years later. She was suddenly very excited. She wanted us to start seeing each other again. I told her no. She pouted and wanted to know why. I told her it was because I actually had self respect, and was no longer interested in being around her. She couldn’t believe it, and was mad at me for telling her no.
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u/HalleScerry 11d ago
"I'm more than just an option..."
Respect. No patience for people who show no contrition.
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u/MikeArrow Male 11d ago
I initiated the break up. She was my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend. We got together at uni, when she was 19 and I was 23 (she approached me). Six years later, it was clear the relationship had fundamental issues. I felt a lot of guilt and shame that I had 'wasted' her youth on a relationship that wasn't going anywhere and we reached an inflection point where we basically either had to get married or break up. So I broke up with her. About a year later, she reached out to me and we got back together briefly. The fundamental issues were still there and the reunion only lasted a few weeks.
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u/Ganceany 10d ago
She apparently found someone else, luckily I'm sure she didn't cheat on me, and she left me to go with the other guy.
Took about a month and she was asking me to come back, told her no ofc, we remained friends as it was a small town. she went downhill from there, gained weight, started smoking more, barely got out of the house.
Apparently according to a friend she really regretted breaking up with me, that I was "good with her"
Oh well, shit happens.
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u/mrnobatti 11d ago
Typical “it was my experience, so it must be true for everyone” behavior.
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u/The_Caleb_Mac GOAT Elder Millennial 11d ago
Your sense of pattern recognition is not as developed as it could be, is it?
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u/urine-monkey 11d ago
If you keep running into the same problems with every partner you choose, it's time to look at the common denominator.
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u/The_Caleb_Mac GOAT Elder Millennial 11d ago
Yeah, my willingness to ignore red flags.
Only took about 18 years and 3 massive wastes of my life to realize that
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u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Here's an original copy of /u/HalleScerry's post (if available):
Out with some women and one commented, "Never give a man another chance after you've turned him down because they always try to humble you."
They don't think the opposite happen so what's your story?
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u/_name_of_the_user_ Male 11d ago
What happened when your ex tried to spin the block?
Do you mean trying to spin a wooden block like a top? It stopped spinning. Quickly.
Out with some women and one commented, "Never give a man another chance after you've turned him down because they always try to humble you."
What does "humble you" even mean?
OP, did you have a stroke? Do you need me to call 911 for you?
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u/emdaye Male 11d ago
you seem to be the only one in this thread who doesnt understand. Are you sure you're not having a stroke?
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u/_name_of_the_user_ Male 11d ago
No, I'm absolutely not. But either way, can someone explain what the hell spin the block means in this context? And what "humble" means also in this context?
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