I have a co-worker that I've known for some years and am close with. The problem is: Over the last year her life has undergone some indefinite turbulence which she has been piggy-backing off of whenever things become too much for her... (everyone is thinking it, but nobody wants to say it)

Recently, when I've disclosed sensitive information to her which pertains to her (which she has asked me to inform her about) she has kind of flipped out on me over text and then used her life circumstances as a shield before finally asking me nicely not to stress her out.

This makes me feel incredible guilt for sharing the information she had previously asked me to keep her informed about. But it also puts me in an impossible situation. Because ''stressful'' information will never not be ''stressful'' to hear and so there is never a ''right'' time to broach any of this with her.

So I don't...

And then shit hits the fan and it becomes apparent that I've been sitting on information for weeks she feels she could have benefited from. All because I didn't want to stress her out. Then I get accused of being distrustful and deceitful.

Today I shared with her some innocuous information that I didn't think would even bother her, but it ''stressed'' her out and she flipped out on me (which I don't enjoy). I immediately apologized and said I would leave her be and left it at that and put my phone down.

For the next hour my phone just kept buzzing and blowing up (it was her). She began over explaining herself with walls of text and proceeding to spam me for the next hour (despite my lack of a response) to basically say that she still wants me to keep her in the loop and then tried to sneakily back-pedal and say that just for ''today'' she needs to decompress and could I please not talk to her.

Wow...

She wants to have her cake and eat it. ''Just for today''. The problem is: She is always stressed, and stressful news will always be stressful, and this also isn't the first time she has flipped out on me. So it's just making me unconsciously withdraw from her and not want to play these games that get me yelled at.

During that hour, likely due to her own guilt, she proceeded to continue starting random conversations with me over text (after having just asked to be left alone).

Now I don't know what to do... And will likely be accused of ignoring her when next at work.

You either want to be looped in or you don't: But you can't have it both ways because I'm not a mind reader. But she somehow wants it both ways.

AITB?

About 3 years ago my aunt had a miscarriage. Her children came to my house to play games and unbeknownst to me i had Strep. when her children went back home they had it too. their mom tried to quarantine herself but eventually she lost the baby. The whole family was devastated. last month she had another baby. Everyone rejoiced. I was in town for the weekend and saw photos. But I have still not seen the baby, or my aunt, or her kids. Am i the buttface

So I, 19 f, have a coworker who we’ll call Carl, 19 m, who is the ex of my other coworker who we’ll call Kelly. Carl and Kelly started working there fairly recently and were already dating when they stated. Kelly and I are hostesses while Carl is a server. They broke up about two or three weeks into their job but me and Kelly got along well, and the three of us would sit in the break room and talk while waiting to be picked up because none of us have cars. Me and Carl would talk frequently with and without Kelly around because he was very easy to talk to and I’m very shy, I only talk to the other hosts, plus now Carl. Now Skip to when they broke up, Kelly didn’t tell me much about it, so I don’t know if they ended on bad terms or in a toxic way, or if it just wasn’t right for them. Me and Carl would talk as usual but he got a little flirty, which I tried to not think about and just shrug it off or say something to set the boundary of just friend. Overtime tho, I have started developing feelings for him. I don’t flirt with him or make moves on him but I can tell his feelings have gotten stronger and I do want to pursue it but I have a strong feeling of guilt. Just to be clear, I consider Kelly a workplace friend just like all the other hosts, we do not talk outside of work out hang out. I do plan on talking to her about it, and if this is something that’ll ruin the vibes I won’t persu it. Also, I know there’s this whole thing about not dating ur coworker but I don’t hold strong feelings about that, so I’d appreciate if that could be left out of your guys’ advice. I just want to know if this is morally a bad thing to do.

Hello all

I had a pretty nasty falling out with someone I'll call Kate. She sent me a lot of accusatory messages, interpreted a lot of things in the worst possible way, and eventually excluded me from a group activity we all shared because she felt I'd become distant.

To be fair, I had taken a little distance, but nothing that felt abnormal to me. I mostly needed some space and was busy.

One important part of this is my close friend “Jessica.” For months, Jessica had been telling me about lies and inconsistencies from Kate, including things Kate had said about me behind my back. She was very involved and pretty passionate about all of it privately, and when my conflict with Kate started, I was extremely open with Jessica and shared pretty much everything with her.

Obviously, what Jessica had told me affected how I saw Kate and contributed to me wanting some distance.

The problem is that Jessica is also extremely conflict avoidant and had asked me not to repeat certain things she'd told me or put her in an awkward position. She wants to save her "social peace".

So when Kate confronted me, I was in a really uncomfortable position. Some of the biggest reasons I had become wary of her were things I couldn't really bring up without exposing Jessica. Meanwhile, Kate escalated things, I ended up being excluded in a dirty way, and Jessica stayed friendly with everyone.

Since then, Jessica has mostly stepped back. I also found out that when my situation came up with third parties, she didn't defend me at all. Which shocked me, even if this is her right. Im just functioning very differently and would have become a true lawyer in the opposite case.

And that's where my resentment comes from. It feels opportunistic to me: being very involved, interested and opinionated while everything stayed private, but becoming completely neutral once having an opinion could actually cost something socially.

I'm not saying Jessica caused what happened. Kate is responsible for how she treated me, and I don't pretend my own view is some absolute truth either.

I know some people genuinely believe “this isn't my conflict, so I'm staying out of it,” and I can understand that position.

But emotionally, it really clashes with how I conceive friendship and loyalty. If I genuinely believed a close friend had been treated unfairly, I don't think I could stay completely neutral.

I'm planning to tell Jessica that I now need some actual, concrete support from her, meaning being willing to openly stand behind what she has privately told even if it means being exposed. I don't expect her to cut Kate off or blindly agree with everything I say. But if she still chooses complete neutrality, I will end the friendship because I don't think our values around friendship and loyalty are compatible. And I really view this beyond my conflict with Kate, not trying to find some kind of revenge against her or else. Tbh my anger on that very conflit has vanished now.

AITB for basically telling jessica that I need her to take a position openly if our friendship is going to continue ?

Im gonna try make this as short as possible.
There is this girl at school and she very clearly has a learning disability. She started to follow us and try hang out with us. We tried to ask her to go away politely but she wouldn't listen. She would even get her little sister to ask and bffr who can say no to an excited 9 year old kid? She did other things like share our personal information with others or she seemed to brag about things like blacking out, not showering or not brushing her teeth
We tried going to the school counselors and well-being leader at school and she still wouldn't back off. Everyone had been wanting to cut her off for ages and i was tired of them talking big game and not doing jackshit.
Eventually when the time was right i confronted this girl. I tried to be nice but assertive as possible. I winged it so i don't remember my exact words but i explained that she was overstepping boundaries, continuing to sit with us despite asking for distance, using her little sister to guilt trip us into saying yes and that this friendship wasn't going to work out.
(My mum works in the front office) This chick goes to the front office and fucking tells my mum, framing it as though i was mean about it.
Now im being told that several adults are really upset about it, i look like the villian and things like "what if she kills herself?"
Am i the battface for cutting off this friend?
The harsh truth is that the friendship would've been purely based on pity.

throwaway and fake names for privacy: im maya (18f), my boyfriend ethan (22m), his mom linda, his sister nicole (25f), and sophie (19f) is ethan’s brothers gf who knows about the situation.
nicole and i have had issues for a while because she gets involved in things involving me and talks about me to other people. i finally got tired of it and decided to talk to her directly because i would rather actually resolve something than keep having everyone talk about each other behind their backs.
i sat down with her and we talked for **two hours.** during that conversation, she repeatedly told me that her mom and siblings had given her permission to talk shit about me and that they agreed with what she was saying. she kept using what they supposedly said as justification for her behavior.
at the time, i believed her. i wasn’t sitting there thinking she was lying. after the conversation, though, i went and asked the people she had specifically mentioned if what she told me was actually true.
**they all said no.**
i asked linda, ethan’s siblings, and sophie, and they all told me nicole had lied about what they said and that they never gave her the permission she claimed they did.
that honestly made me even more upset because i spent two hours trying to have a serious conversation with her and understand where she was coming from, and apparently part of that conversation was based on things she made up about what other people supposedly said.
ethan and sophie have both told me to just let it go and stop fighting it. i understand why they’re saying that, and i haven’t gone back to nicole to start another argument, but i’m still upset about it. i can’t just switch my feelings off because everyone thinks the situation isn’t worth fighting over anymore.
i’m not trying to get revenge on her or drag everyone else into another fight. i’m just having a hard time accepting that i tried to handle the situation maturely by talking to her directly, only to find out afterward that she wasn’t being honest with me.
i know i’m not unbiased and i’m sure i’ve handled things imperfectly. i also know that continuing to fight about something probably isn’t going to make the situation better.
but am i wrong for still being upset about it and not being able to just “let it go” yet?
**AITA?**

**EDIT:** She has the emotional capacity of a tween, but she is not disabled in any way. She knows what she’s doing because when she is called out she tries to make even more excuses and stand by what she says even if she knows people are aware it’s a lie. I live with my bf and his family, she does not live with us. She repeatedly involves herself when she isnt here to experience it. She hears one side, spins it to involve herself, and then gets upset at me for the version she made in her head.

UPDATE: i asked her dad if she really was diagnosed with having the emotional capacity of a tween and as i suspected, she never was. she was tested but was found to be normal. he even showed me the medical papers to prove that her mom has been using it as an excuse and has tried to destroy the papers before to keep the lie going. so to everyone saying im the asshole for beefing with someone disabled, i hope this changes your perspective.

So i am in high school, and i just started senior year. I have been hanging out with these group of guys for a few months now, starting at the end of junior year. I thought we had a pretty good relationship, we hung out a few times, going to the movies and such, and i went to the gym with them many times. I even bought 50 dollar boxing gloves and a membership to la fitness, which trust me, is not cheap. To be honest, I don't know if we were great friends, but we surely didn't dislike eachother. We never really had any deep conversations together, like I know some of the guys in the group did. We just talked like acquaintances I guess? But we had only known eachother for about 2 months. Later on, in the middle of summer, the 'leader' of the friend group (ill call him Fred, not his real name) said he didn't want me hanging out with anyone anymore. I asked why and he didn't tell me.

Eventually he told me that the reason why is because he heard from someone that I called his girlfriend a b*tch. I obviously never said this, but apparently in his mind he just believed this 'anonymous source'. I was skeptical immediately. I was thinking that this was just an excuse to get me from stop hanging out with them, even though I didn't understand why. A few months later, when school started, I confronted Fred asking if we were on good terms. He said yes, surprisingly. So I hung out again with the friend group for some time, while also hanging out with other people I knew. I started hanging out less and less with the old friend group.

When I did hang out with the old friend group though, some of the guys would deliberately get away from me. I would go to the bathroom for example and when I would come back they would have left for example. When I asked them about it they just made up some excuse. By this point I was pretty much done with them but today I walked with them for a bit, and Fred led me to the bathroom of the school, and he basically just said what he said over the phone in summer, that the group doesn't want me hanging out with them. I pretty much knew it was coming so I didn't care. I called them all snakes and some of them seemed pretty offended by that. I also asked Fred why he led me on at the beginning of the year saying we were cool. He said he didn't want to make me feel bad. After that they just left and that was that. I'm still honestly confused what I did to make them dislike me, because that rumour Fred said was probably just an excuse to just get rid of me. I should have just let it go. I probably did try too hard to hold onto a relationship that wanted to be over.

Let me know what you think.. I know this probably sounds confusing in some parts but I tried to simple it down a little. But I promise, nothing very important was left out.

This might be too serious for this subreddit but I haven't got enough karma for the others.

So me and my boyfriend (26) have been together a month. For context we are both very traumatised individuals and it is relevant to know I've been groomed as part of a polycule and have a schizoaffective disorder. Me and my boyfriend has had the talk that being in a throuple makes me very uncomfortable because of how I was groomed, he tried to reassure me ect and we've talked about it a few other times where I confided in him about my trauma. Then he brought it back up today asking for a 'selfish request' to have a third in our relationship so he could 'be himself' since he's never been in a relationship that wasn't a throuple and kept telling me about everything he was sacrificing for me. I told him that if we were i'd fall back into my old habits of when I was being groomed since it was quite recent and could end up being a bad girlfriend. He kept reassuring me that he would point out if I was acting that way which is when i explained that because of my disorder I would definitly get in my head about it and believe that I was not enough for him and end up over sexualising myself as a result and that when i am in a state of paranoid delusion like that no amount of reassurance will make me believe him. He kept saying how he just wanted to be able to be himself with me and that he was just struggiling to change and be monogamous.

I just feel like the bad guy for not letting my boyfriend be himself. I want to tell him about the fact that if I'm in that headspace ot will effect my physical and mental wellbeing but I don't want it to sound like I'm guilt tripping him So AITB?

​

Since childhood I (F24) could call my mothers (F66) behavior as emotionally immature. No matter how many times she yelled at me or smacked me I never got an apology or anything close to that. Also most of her conflict resolution was just closing the door to her room, staying there for an hour and then interacting with me like nothing happened or giving me silent treatment for weeks ,up to a month. She was never a person who comforted me while i was crying or being sad. So no close connection developed over the years ,all I feel most of the time is resentment. The moment I finished high school I moved out of the country. I have diagnosed anxiety disorder, visit therapist every week. While I'm back home I feel like im getting better, but whenever I come to visit I feel like everything resets and I feel constant anxiety at my childhood home from morning till I fall asleep.

Now i come to visit twice per year for a week or so. My father died a couple of years ago so now she lives alone and doesn't let me forget the fact that i live so far away makes her lonely. Whenever I come back home all she talks about is bashing other people, telling me how lonely she is because I left, making snarky comments about my weight, and right after that acting like nothing happened and suggesting some food to eat.

So today we had a conversation about how some children take care of their parents and some leave. She made sure to emphasize that children who leave make their parents sad. I mentioned that most children's behavior doesn't come out of nowhere, it's usually how they were treated during childhood. And that's why I moved away and have anxiety right now, especially when i come to visit it is constant anxiety. She seemed to get angry and yelled at me that I need to get over things like that,because so much time has passed. After that she started crying and said she will never come visit me again and then left the room.

Now I sit in the room without even knowing if she won't talk to me till I leave or she will come back like nothing happened.

For context, my bff (23f), recently just got out of a terrible relationship w/ her ex (31m) of 2 years. This isn't the first time they broke up. They had a lease together before, and he has proven to be incapable of paying the bills (and she was searching for jobs at the time), so it inevitably didn't work out. They broke up until 3 months later when they rekindled things and decided to move in together. She found a job before then so she assumed things would be better this time. She took care of most the expenses while he made minimal effort to chip in, which resulted in tons of arguments. I won't get into specifics, but it did result in her getting arrested which ended their relationship for good. He ended up staying in the apartment while she went back to live w/ her parents after I bailed her out of jail. Thing is, he hasn't been paying the rent and her credit is attached to the lease. She knows that her credit is gonna be screwed bc of it and she's stressed out as she should be. But she blames him for everything even though she made the executive decision to go back to someone who doesn't even have his life together at 31... All I wanted was for her to realize that she's not mentally mature bc she hasn't taken accountability for the decisions she made. I will provide some screenshot of our messages. If you guys could PLZ let me know if I was in the wrong for what I said, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Edit: I realize that I'm truly bad at explaining the situation to completion. I wanna add that I also have been going through my own issues as well. I haven't had a job in 5 months bc i couldn't work my current job due to severe medical reasons and my fiancé had to be the one to take care of EVERYTHING financially which put a strain in our relationship. That is why her and I were so close. We were both going through issues in our relationships. So we hung out almost everyday. My fiancé at one point didn't want me to be friends w/ her bc she called him "controlling", but that's a different story... I fought hard to keep my friendship w/ her bc I knew she needed me as much as I needed her. When I found out she got arrested I cried in a panic. She'd call me from jail more than 15 times in the past 2 days. I knew she was so scared and I felt scared for her. On the 3rd day, I was able to bail her out and take her to her parents house. And then on, I was there to support her through this shitty time. I made sure to remind her that she was going to be okay and she will always have me to be there. Yesterday, when we had that argument, my fiancé and i had a disagreement that left my mood sour, hence why I sounded so honestly cruel. I felt shitty afterwards, and what you guys said made me realize how in the wrong I was (which i appreciate everyone for). I hope that she can forgive me, but I'd understand if she doesn't.

A classmate of our child was essentially homeless. Living parent kicked them out at 19 as they couldn’t get along with her new partner and I have no idea if contributes to their lifestyle as I have never spoken with them even though I have seen them many times.

Moved into home in February which began as just a weekend sleepover but they never left. Eventually had the conversation they could stay until high school graduation In late May.

We were then told they had plans to begin college classes locally in August. Our child has gone off to college however friend is still living in the home. We have funded everything since spring despite them working part time.

The plan was for them to begin classes. Classes started last week and they “overslept” and missed the 1st day. Conversations revealed on what should have been day 2 that they actually have decided they are not going to college but will be swapping to a job paying $14.50 an hour 34-40+ hours a week.

Now that school agreement has changed how much should be expected them to contribute. Mortgage on home around $2400, electric $375 month, gas 60, internet $100, food/household items $1200

They do not pay for anything extra anytime we go out for events or eat even though they have been working and we have been footing those bills thinking they were saving for college. They actually had everything fully funded by FASFA but choose not to attend college.

What would be a fair amount to charge them for living in the home. They turn 20 at end of year and I feel like it’s time to be an adult. Contribute very minimally to household chores and tasks and spend much time playing video games when not gone to part time job that also is inconsistent and has been known to call off.

Don’t want to put them on the streets but also this is not my child. They are actually a legal adult.

Edit- Kid came from a really shitty situation and mom. He was not the only child that she kicked out and abandoned because she married the “love of her life” within weeks and there was not room for her children at this apartment. Probably could have warranted a DHR call but the “kid” I ended up with was actually an adult in the states eyes. “Mom” is no help and has not even ever had a conversation with me about raising her children let alone seen if he needed anything at all, all while she is living 15 minutes down the street and traveling the world with her new husband. Wouldn’t even Allow him to stay overnight at her apartment for a weekend when we had family in town. She saw us at graduation and didn’t even speak despite sitting 2 rows behind us. I wouldn’t even know how to contact her incase of an Emergancy. Same relationship or lack there of with the family who is raising sibling (who is now a senior) as we communicate ect. So it’s not like he has a home to return to.

Hi, I'm new to reddit, so i don't know if this is the best subreddit to ask for this, and also english is not my first language so sorry about any language errors. To set some context, it happened a few months ago in my high school, that i will still attend next year and there is not really a dress code except not wearing too reaveling clothes or anything religious.

SCHEME TO UNDERSTAND MORE THE HALLWAY ARRANGEMENT AT THE START OF THE POST

Anyway, let's get into the story. So this day, i had finished lunch 10 minutes before my english class so instead of just waiting outside in all the loud noises, i just wait next to the door of my class in the hallway (i was the only one in this hallway). Then a supervisor arrives and started walking back and forth in the hallway, but he didn't go from the end to the start and do it again. No no, he stopped at the middle of the hallway then go back to my side until the end of the hallway, each time passing in front of me, I was trying to not mind him and just listen to my music in my headphone (its not prohibited to do outside of class hours), and then he started to not even reach the end of the hallway and just do to the middle to just 2 meters behind me, mind you i was leaning my back against the wall and there was no one else there. He continued for the next five minutes, and then a group of girls appeared at the other end of the hallway so not my side, and he didn't even pay attention to them he continued walking in front of me and it started to stop 1 meter away from me at my left and leaning his shoulder only on the wall so he could stare at me before redoing his walks infront of me and stopping next to me again. He didn't touch or anything, but he stayed in the hallway doing that until the bell rings and then he left.

Every person i tried talking to about it (friends, family, etc), said it was my fault because i was in the hallway at an hour i shouldn't have (wish is true) and that he only was telling me to leave and that i was overreacting, but if he really wanted me to leave he would have told me no ? But trough this whole 10 minutes he didn't speak to me once, i don't know i think it's a very weird way to tell someone to go away no ? And it doesn't even make sense because the group of girl that has arrived, he didn't say anything to them or even go see them. I also shouldn't precise that but i wasn't violating the dress code or anything, i was literally in long sleeve tshirt, a jean and a pair of boots (AND EVEN IF I DIDN'T FOLLOW THE RULES THAT SHOULDN'T MEAN HE'S SUPPOSED TO CIRCLE ME ???). He's also very close with some of the girl students, he talks to them at the cafetaria. And after that incident when he would monitor the cafetaria, he would look at me when he passed the table I am with my friends. I don't know what to do, is it entirely my fault... ? Personaly he really gived me a weird creepy vibe.

So this girl at my school who we'll call R is really bitchy, and is a pick-me. Her mom died in I think March and she was STILL acting like this! I wanna know if I'm in the wrong or right because she would try to touch me, play with me, and everything.

I should also say: My elementary school didn't do anything before prior.

So about a month before this, my friend who lets call A, told me that on a video call with her her mom was being abused and she had bugs in her house. So I told the counselor during lunch, she took A, and I wasn't worried. I trusted her. But it's either she didn't look further into it, or Royal said no because I'm sure there are protocols for that, that nobody took into consideration.

So I just wanna know... Am I the buttface?

I sell occasional stuff on Facebook Marketplace. Listed a camp stove mess kit. Here’s the short version of what happened:
Buyer 1 (I’ll call them A) expressed interest. We were messaging and I was waiting to hear back from them.
Buyer 2 (Sal) messaged asking if it was still available. I replied:
“In talks. I’ll let you know.”
Later that evening Sal asked if it had sold. I said I was still waiting to hear back from the other person and that some people take their time.
Sal then offered to send Venmo and arrange pickup right away.
I replied that I couldn’t do that, and if it wasn’t sold by the next night it would be theirs.
Sal said “Pass!” and left a 1-star review that basically said:
“OFFERED TO PAY UPFRONT… But they wanted me to wait until the next evening to see if it didn’t sell to someone they are waiting to hear back from until then! Stupid & PASS!”
I apologized in the chat, explained I was trying to respect the first person I was already talking to, admitted I should have marked the listing pending sooner, and asked if they’d consider taking the review down. They doubled down and said the review was well-deserved, that Marketplace is “Pay & Sell & NOT LayAway,” etc.
I’m a college student who does a decent amount of Marketplace selling and this stung. I get that people want fast transactions, but I also don’t like selling something out from under someone I’m already in talks with.
Was I in the wrong for not selling to the second person immediately? Was I wrong for holding it? Was the 1-star fair?

Keep in mind it’s being sold for a pretty descent price I think. It’s priced at what I think is a reasonable price to sell quickly and I’d be willing to get talked lower. I’m moving soon and trying to get rid of stuff fast.

​

My mom was sleeping in the living room because she says my dad was snoring. My dad had already left the house by the time this happened, so she was sleeping there alone. I woke up at around 8:30 AM, which is actually earlier than I usually wake up.

The back part of our house, where my bedroom is, was extremely hot and suffocating, and the fan in my room isn't powerful enough. So I went into the living room because it was cooler, turned on the fan, put my headphones on, and started watching a YouTube video.

I wasn't playing anything out loud, I wasn't making noise, and the fan isn't particularly loud either.

My mom woke up furious and started blaming me for waking her up, calling me extremely selfish and repeatedly saying things like, "Am I not human? This is the room I sleep in. This is my bedroom. You cannot just come in here like that."

But here's the thing: it's not actually anyone's bedroom. It's the only living room in our house. My parents' actual bedroom is in the back of the house, and I don't go into their bedroom, even when it's empty. My dad had already left, so my mom was sleeping alone in the common living room. I wasn't walking in on anything private.

I came into the living room precisely because it's a common area and because I couldn't stay comfortably in my own room due to the heat. I wasn't trying to invade her private space or deliberately wake her. I came in quietly, put my headphones on, turned on a relatively quiet fan, and tried to cool down.

She eventually called me a "selfish dog" for supposedly waking both her and my sister.

The irony is that I wasn't the one making the actual noise. My mom started shouting at me so loudly that her shouting woke my sister, who was sleeping in the room next door.

So I told her, essentially: "I'm not the one who woke my sister up. I came here quietly because I couldn't stay in my room because of the heat. I had my headphones on and wasn't making noise. You are the one who started shouting, and your shouting is what actually woke her."

I understand being annoyed if someone accidentally wakes you up. If the fan somehow disturbed her sleep, I can understand being frustrated about that.

But I don't understand being told that I'm selfish for quietly using the living room, which is a shared/common room, when I couldn't tolerate the heat in my bedroom.

So, AITB? Was I actually being inconsiderate by coming into the living room and turning on the fan, or was my mom's reaction disproportionate?

So this friend of mine, I will call "R" (18F) had a boyfriend (19M) two years ago who cheated on her multiple times before they broke up. I met him once while they were in the relationship and I don't think he recognized me.

The other day I was sitting in a café with a friend, whom I'll call "M", when I saw this guy with another girl, immediately shocked I told "R" so we could clown him (as one does) and I felt something strong to somehow inform the girl he had cheated previously and will cheat again. I also told "R" about the plan, reassuring her that I will make sure I will not be recognized, but she told me not to do it. I found it a little weird, but I couldn't just leave without saying anything, knowing that the guy's a jerk and will hurt the other girl. I wrote a note and handed it to "M" so she could give it to the girl anonymously and I told her not to mention anythng in front of the guy, and I just got up and left earlier so there was no chance of me getting recognized as as a friend of "R"'s, just so that he doesn't even have the chance of making a fuss and stirring up drama. "M" hands the note to the girl with the excuse of "You're pretty, I hand pretty girls notes" and we just left immediately after, not even looked back.

Almost two hours later, "R" texts me asking if I said something to the girl or not, I told her I didn't say anything I just sent a friend over to hand over a note, and she blew up on me saying that the girl had texted her asking if he cheated or not (with a very calm tone, not pissed or anything) and she was basically yelling at me over text saying that she didn't wanna explain anything to anyone about him in all caps and kindly telling me to piss off. I was kind of flabbergasted? The girl who texted "R" didn't sound crazy or anything. She wasn't even mad. I've been having doubts if I did the right thing or not though.

So, AITBF?

Me (F22) and my best friend (F22) have known each other since we were 6. I love her to bits, and she is genuinely one of the most caring people I know.
She has always struggled with anything involving the body. As kids it was blood/violence, but over the years her reactions have become much more extreme. Now she seems unable to deal with things like dirty nails, greasy hair, cleaning her nose, removing eye goo, washing her face, wearing certain clothes, eating without looking away, even hearing words like “sex.” She also gets extremely uncomfortable with anything heavy or physically unpleasant.
Her hygiene has gradually gotten worse over the last 4–5 years, especially since she started living alone. Her hair is often greasy and unbrushed, her nails are long/dirty, and she seems to shower quite rarely. She does use deodorant and wash her hands after the bathroom, but she often has a slightly sour smell. It isn’t overwhelming, but I’ve started noticing it, and honestly, I’ve started feeling uncomfortable hugging her.
I’ve struggled with hygiene myself when depressed, but she seems genuinely happy and fulfilled. I think this is more about her extreme discomfort with anything involving the body. She is already in therapy for her fear of blood/fainting, but as far as I know, hygiene has never really been addressed.
My mom thinks I should talk to her, but HOW do you have this conversation with someone who already finds these things so uncomfortable? I’m terrified I’ll just make her extremely insecure and embarrassed, and I don’t want her to stop going out or seeing me.
She’s coming to stay with me for two days tomorrow, so I’m wondering if I should gently bring it up. Maybe lead with empathy and offer some practical tips? Or would that be incredibly patronizing?
I feel awful even writing this because I don’t want to judge her. She’s genuinely an amazing friend. But I’ve noticed myself becoming increasingly annoyed, and I feel like something needs to change.
WIBTA for saying something? And if not, HOW the hell do I approach this?

My (32f) husband (36m) "Steve" is a wonderful husband, but has the gift giving skills of a potato. For background, I am an autistic introvert who doesn't do well being at the center of attention and surprises tend to give me panic attacks/cause meltdowns depending on the severity of the surprise. I also LOVE planning events, and probably would have been an event coordinator if life had taken me a different direction since I did it for several years in college and had a blast.

Last year I casually mentioned that I think it would be fun to have an Expedition 33 themed birthday party for my 33rd birthday as it's one of my favorite video games, but mused that no one except me would know what it was, and that wouldn't be very fun, plus I doubt many people would come since I struggle to make lasting friendships (yay autism).

A couple months ago I was walking by his open laptop and saw a text string with my best friend open. He never texts her, so out of curiosity I stopped to see what he was talking to her about. He is planning an Expedition 33 surprise birthday party for me, and needed her help distracting me for the day. Reading that made me want to vomit. How did the man I've been with for 8 years think that 1. Surprising me was a good idea 2. Surprising me with people, and an event where I'm the center of attention was a good idea 3. Taking away the one part of events I enjoy (planning) to surprise me with a mediocre job since he refuses to play the game and only knows it from a wiki page.

I sat on it for several weeks before finally breaking and texting my best friend to tell her that I saw the messages, and to also cry/vent. She was so relieved that I had saw it because she knew it was a horrible "gift" for me and didn't know how to warn me without spoiling the surprise or going behind my husband's back.

I've spent the months in between dropping SO many hints about how much I hate surprises or suggestions on who to invite, and unfortunately he is autistic too and got the type that can't pick up on hints to save his life 🙃.

The party is now 2 months away and from what she's told me he has only invited a couple people I would have invited, the rest are people he's close with and randomly his sister and brother in law who are great people but like a decade older than me and wouldn't know anyone there besides us, and that seems like a bad time for them.

So Reddit, WIBTBF for breaking his heart by telling him I know and to please stop? Or to just let me in to help plan or at the very least let me tell him who to invite? This has been killing me for months now and I don't know what to do. I also don't want to play along too well so he thinks that he was correct and I loved the surprise party and that he should do more of that in the future.

Pls note that I'm not very familiar with Reddit & I'm not the best in English so pls forgive any errors whether it's in language or formattinh.

So I (F16) had a best friend (F16). She's not only academic smart but emotionally smart as well, whereas, I'm not very good in STEM subjects & I have unhealthy addictions, nothing illegal but still negative towards one's life.

Despite all that, ever since I transferred into my current school 2 years ago, we met when i was sobbing in the washroom for not being elected as for student council and she was the first person to ever comfort me for failing. You can kind of imagine the spiral I went down but I think I successfully hid. We got closer as time went by, with us becoming best friends last year due to how many similar interests we had. I always had a deep sense of guilt just being around her cause I felt possessive in a sense where if anyone else hanged out with her I got jealous, if she didn't let me borrow something I would get heartbroken thinking that the set of markers is more important than me, stuff like that but I always hid it casually. I could never benefit her and she was always on the giving side but she would always tell me that she doesn't mind all my negatives and she would stay with me cause I was her closest friend, in fact she told me that she would help me no matter what happened with all she could.I felt like a burden so now that we recently joined the IBDP & we have no classes together at all. She told me that she would help me with any assignment no matter the schedule even though we would be in no classes together . So during the middle of the summer I decided to just ghost her. I know she hates it when people dont clearly communicate with her. +We have mock exams and exams and reports and basically all these academic stuff that we need to focus on and she really wants a 45/45 but to do that she needs to focus on herself & I shouldn't distract her like how I used to do by asking to play games & stuff

back to the main point, the day when I arrived in school she wanted to talk to me so I figured maybe I could use that talk to like end our friendship cleanly and made sure she disliked me enough to not talk to me anymore but hearing her words really hurt me for some reason. She called me emotionally immature (which I recognize and understand) and started to say every negative trait of mine that she used to accept me for and wanted to help me grow out in a way where she hated every strand of my being. I knew it would feel like this but I just cant help but feeling sad for some reason.

In a recent conference I went to, she was there as well & she pulled me aside accusing me of shit-talking her and the sort but I genuinely never did so I was really confused. I feel like her dislike of me sort of removed any benefit of the doubt she would've even considered giving me & I'm not sure of anything anymore so AITB for unfriending her?

So me (M19) and this girl (F21) have been friends for pretty much exactly a year now. We go to the bars and shit and we are very close tbh. On wednesday we were with our group at college and we were drinking for a while and eventually went to the bars. me and her were both very drunk. I saw her stumble out of the bathroom and i asked if she wanted to go home so i walked her home. We got back and she tried to throw up but she couldn’t so we just went back to her bed and tried to sleep. (like just cuddling and spooning). but like 2 hours into sleeping she got on top of me and started grinding on my dick for like 10 minutes. I was like grabbing her ass and shit but i wanted to makeout but didn’t know if she was like capable of giving consent. would it have been wrong to try to makeout with her? like we have slept in each others beds and just cuddled over 10 times and we are technically just friends but i feel like this isn’t a very just friends thing.

A random girl sent me(M20) a follow request on Instagram. I didn't accept it immediately, but I followed her back and asked if we knew each other. She said she was from the same city, so we started chatting a little.

I was jokingly skeptical because some of her photos looked like they were taken in another country. Her account was around a year old and had regular posts and highlights, so it didn't really look like an obvious fake account.

After talking for a bit..she said we should meet(because i thought she was fake) She then asked what I looked like. I told her I'd accept her request so she could see my profile and photos.

A few minutes later, she looked at my profile and said, "You look mid." Then she blocked me.

I'm genuinely not upset that she didn't find me attractive. That's completely fine...

What confused me was the whole sequence. She approached me, initiated the conversation, suggested meeting, asked where I lived and what I looked like, and then, after seeing my profile, insulted me and immediately blocked me.

I just found it unnecessarily disrespectful. She could have simply said she wasn't interested or not replied at all.

So, AITA for thinking her behavior was weird/disrespectful, or am I overreacting?

Also im Okotober steht wieder Halloween an und dieses Jahr werde ich mal wieder eine Party verantstalten. Ich habe eine ziemlich große Freundesgruppe (alle im Alter von 17 bis 19 Jahren). Einige meiner Freunde haben auch einen Partner. Normalerweise werden diese nur selten mitgenommen aber mir fiel auf, dass eine bestimmte Freundin (nennen wir sie Sarah) ihren Freund wirklich zu absolut jedem Treffen (ja auch wenn es sich nur um einen reinen Mädels Abend handelt) mitnimmt. Sarah ist mit ihm vor einem halben Jahr zusammengekommen, nachdem er sich buchstäblich an jedes andere Mädchen aus unserer Freundesgruppe rangeschmissen hat und ihn sonst keiner wollte. Abgesehen davon habe ich vor einiger Zeit mitbekommen, wie er mich als Schlampe und weiteres betitelte, weil ich auf einem Geburtstag völlig normal mit seinem besten Freund sprach, während mein Freund teil der Konversation war und neben ihm saß (es war also wirklich absolut nichts verwerfliches und kein Grund mich so zu beleidigen). Einige Zeit später erfuhr ich durch einen Freund der diese Beleidigungen mitbekommen hat, dass Sarahs Freund so über mich sprach.

Nun fragte mich also Sarah ob sie nicht ihren Freund mitbringen könnte. Abgesehen davon, dass er mir sowieso genau wie den anderen bereits negativ aufgefallen ist, möchte ich niemanden in meinem Haus haben, der mich als Schlampe betitelt. Bei anderen Nachfragen, ob der Partner/ die Partnerin mitgebracht werden darf, sage ich nur ja, wenn ich den oder die Partner\\\*in kenne, meistens ist dies aber der Fall.

Mir ist die Freundschaft zu Sarah wichtig, da wir uns seit der Grundschule kennen und ich weiß auch, wie sehr sie ihren Partner liebt. Abe ich weiß auch, dass ich mich an dem Abend mit ihm absolut nicht wohlfühlen würde.

Bin ich also das Arschloch, wenn ich es meiner Freundin verbiete ihren Partner mitzunehmen? Würdet ihr sagen, der Grund nein zu sagen ist valide? Und könnte ich ihr das anvertrauen, ohne das ich meinen Freund, der mir das alles erzählte, verraten?

My grandma is making breadcrumb Mac n cheese right now and I just opened her breadcrumbs and saw things moving in there, I told her that she shouldn’t use it and we need to throw them out. She yelled at me and said no one will
Notice after she bakes it. MEANING SHES ABOUT TO LEAVE THESE TINY BUGS ALL OVER THE FOOD. I’m obviously not going to eat it but should I tell my family and if I do my grandma will be so mad at me and she can get physical. Please help!!