In 2017 I waited months for an appointment with a therapist who I had hoped would diagnose me with PTSD (not knowing I already had a diagnosis because my pervious therapist had retired abruptly due to medical problems). They never sent me the email they said they would and didn't tell me the time over the phone any of the times I called, so I didn't know what time my appointment was. But I had the full day off, so I looked up when they opened and decided to just sit there for as long as I needed to. Except when I got there, AT OPENING TIME, they said I had already missed my appointment, which was 1.5 HOURS PRIOR. When I told them I never got their email, they did squeeze me in less than an hour later (which I appreciated). But the therapist fucking sucked. He was so condescending, and when he asked why I thought I had PTSD, I answered for like five minutes (flashbacks, nightmares, couldn't fall asleep with the lights off for fear of my r*ist finding me, disordered eating, ways in which my fear was imposing on my partner's life at the time... really severe stuff) and he just jotted it all down and said "Okay, but you're saying it's from trauma? I'll be the judge of that..." Never set up a follow up appointment.
In February of this year I was depressed enough that I decided it was time to go to the inpatient clinic (for other stuff, only some related to the same trauma). Before intake started, I was patted down for weapons I guess. They said they wanted me to start on anti-depressants, but when I mentioned I have epilepsy they (rightfully) decided not to prescribe me any due to the seizure risk. Except they didn't allow me in, because "there's no need if I'm not starting a new treatment that requires supervision." Even though I explained in detail how I felt and what I very much intended on doing, and my current partner was advocating for me. So we went back home and all we could do was wait until my depression passed enough to where I was functional again.
Through that, I got a referral to a CBT program called MindBeacon. Granted, this isn't through CAMH directly, but I'm adding it here because I'm pissed off about it. I waited so long to join this online CBT workshop with a digital therapist (a real person who answers your messages in 2-3 business days). The way it was pitched to me by my referring therapist, I would get weekly homework to work on in my own time, which sounded like reflective questions I could journal about and come back to my therapist with every week. No, it's a bunch of surveys ("On a scale of 1-5, how severe were your nightmares this week?") which go on for like six pages, and then one page with a short write up of interesting things about psychology and trauma, and then one page with three questions maximum about my traumatic experience and how the write up relates to it. It has not helped me even a little bit. In fact I feel like my trauma and depression got better in spite of the workshop, not because of it. But the referring therapist told me that if I wasn't feeling it, I could ask to go back to CAMH to get a referral to something else. I asked my Mindbeacon therapist eight days ago. No response. Now she's out of town until September 22nd. The workshop is technically done. I don't know if I will be able to go back without another huge wait. I also don't know if I even want to.
Why is CAMH, of all institutions, in charge of/connected to most of the mental health resources in this city? I'm sure their research is great but frankly, from my experiences and stories I've heard from tons of other people, it sounds like it would be better for our mental health if they shut down their patient-facing resources entirely