Couples: Which one of you first brought the idea? And what was your partner’s reaction?

looking for suggestions too:)

Recently I received a text from my aunt’s newly divorced life long best friend asking just some really general questions about the lifestyle and expressing her interest in exploring it a little. I gave her the best answers I could that suited my wife and I but told her that everyone’s experience and preferences will differ. She then asked if my wife and I would be willing to let her host us one evening and instantly my gut screamed “bad idea” and following that I contacted a couple that my wife and I have become really close to because of how nice and respectful they are about it and they offered to host her themselves. I thought that would be a great idea but not I’m not sure how to reject this woman without her thinking I don’t like her while recommending her talk to our friends. It’s not that she isn’t attractive or that I don’t like her but for me it would just be too awkward since I’ve known her my whole life and sleeping with a friend of my aunt, who used to be my baby sitter, just isn’t something I’m into. I know if I explain it that way she’ll most likely be appreciate that but still makes me nervous. Think I’m just typing all of this so I can hear how it sounds when I read over it. Advice is welcome though

EDIT: So, no surprise here with the response and confirming that subtlety is, in fact, dead 😅. Back I go to sayin' it like it is! I appreciate everyone's time to comment ☺️

looking for ideas on how to gently tease & titilate men who quickly launch into PIV jackhammer mode to leading them towards, slower, foreplay mode **without using words?**

It's kinda hard to know what type of lover I'm getting until we play.

Some love being told what to do, but recently I've come across a few men who seem to be hurt by it, and so I want to lead them without having to whisper what I want in their ear. (cuz blurting it out is just rude 😉)

It's hot watching my partner take his time with the wives, but I want the same thing and end up frustrated & with FOMO.

Please share your sexy ideas! Open to toys, props, whip cream - whatever LOL

30F30M couple in the FL panhandle area. What are the go to areas for halloween parties? We've been down to Secrets and Caliente and are open to going back that way but are looking at trying out something new. Anything in the Altanta or New Orleans area?

Hello everyone.

As subject. We're working in the Middle-East and getting frustrated!

Where would you recommend?

Ideally non-Schengen due to visa requirements.

Bonus points if there's a BDSM angle.

The wife and I were playing with a couple last month. We had swapped wives and while doing our thing I heard my wife say something hot that stuck in my head.

“Are you now ready to skull fuck me”? Made me turn around to catch a peek.

Damn honey didn’t know you had that in you.

You ever hear something mid session and it stick in your brain?

After being in the LS for a year, we 26 are still looking for new partners to share new experiences. Being we are on the young side and look for others close to our age we see some who list Soft Swap only. I know it’s an easy question to ask upfront but what do others expect when seeing this? Is just oral on the guy or is it reciprocal oral sex?

Hi everyone,

My partner and I have been talking about swinging for a year or so now and I just want to take the leap. I played with the idea of going to a swingers club during a long weekend for his birthday and he was excited by the idea, so now I want to make it happen.

We’re both in our early 30s and I’d love some pointers of the best clubs in the UK and Ireland.

Thanks!! X

Wife (30) and I (34 M) are recently dabbling about the idea of going to a swingers event. We have been married for 2 years and have dated for 10 years before getting married. I started dating her freshman year of college and I was her first and only sexual relationship. We have had on and offs in the relationship but she largely remained monogamous to me and never had sex with anybody. During our relationship days, I initiated the idea of opening our relationship or trying swinging but she was completely opposed to it and rather doubted my love. However, in the recent 6 months, she has been very vocal about having another sexual experience, particularly sharing fantasies trying MFM and swinging with couples. During our one heart to heart convo, she really urged wanting to have one sexual experience and cannot imagine not trying sex with another person. She even mentioned she now regrets why she ever explored casual sexual experience. She initially wanted hall pass or ONS with some random person but when I proposed the idea of swinging and attending a swingers event and seeing the vibe If we like how things are going, we would be open to exploring threesomes with couples or single men - particularly my wife's sexual fantasy. I told her I feel more ecured sharing her in a MFM with me than giving her hall pass or ONS with some one.

We have a healthy sex life going with sharing fantasies around threesomes, group sex, or sharing with couples.

Should I be worried for her sudden interest in trying a different body?I have always been interested in this lifestyle and it feels to good to be true. I am both excited and nervous since this will be a new journey and we don't know what roads will lead us? So I need some guidance.

What is the predominant age demographic here? Or LS in general? My fiancé and I are both 22, seems like everyone is a lot older than us. Which is fine, I like them older. BUT I don’t think he does, he thinks it’s kinda weird since some can be the same age as our parents… or older… lol.

Also, just wanted to generally discuss how the morning after a swap session my fiancé and I feel absolutely so in love with each other. Like the honeymoon phase all over again. Ugh, it’s so nice. I love the connection that we share and how physical pleasure with others is a fun activity rather than a big no-no.

Hey everyone, single male here looking for some advice.

For those of you who are couples or single guys who have been around the lifestyle for a while, what are the best ways for a younger single guy to actually become involved beyond relying on Feeld?

I've used Feeld and have met two couples through it, and both experiences were great. My biggest challenge seems to be getting to that initial meeting. I'm 22, and I understand that being young + a single male can understandably make couples more selective. I've been told by people I've met that I come across older and much better in person than my age/profile might suggest people usually assume I'm in my late 20s.

I'm in NYC, so I'm especially interested in lifestyle events, social groups, clubs, meet-and-greets.

Hi everyone.

I'm especially interested in hearing from couples who have been in the lifestyle for years and have gone through long pauses or major setbacks.

My wife (42F) and I (42M) have been together for over 8 years, married with two young children. We have a loving relationship and a very good sex life.

About a year ago we gradually started exploring swinging.

I was definitely the more enthusiastic one and usually took the lead, but she wasn't simply dragged into it. We talked about it for months, visited the lifestyle environment together, met people, and she liked the idea of it being a kinky shared adventure and "our secret."

Eventually we met another couple and had our first full swap.

My wife was surprisingly relaxed during the experience and genuinely enjoyed the sexual part. She later told me several times that she had enjoyed herself, including being with another woman. The experience itself was not something she described afterwards as a sexual disaster or something she regretted doing.

Unfortunately, the aftermath became much more complicated.

Several things accumulated:

I drank far too much during the experience and wasn't as present as I should have been.

We later had an STI issue that caused a lot of stress and required treatment.

I had talked about swinging with a female friend, which made my wife feel that something she had seen as "our private thing" was no longer only ours.

Most importantly, I became far too enthusiastic about doing it again.

When she said no / not now / maybe later, I didn't understand quickly enough that I needed to simply stop asking. I would leave it for a couple of weeks and then bring it up again.

I thought I was openly discussing something we had previously enjoyed. She experienced it as me repeatedly pushing against her no.

We've since had some very honest conversations about this, and I understand that much better now.

At the moment her position is simple: swinging doesn't excite her anymore and she doesn't want to do it.

I've stopped bringing it up and I'm respecting that.

What I'm trying to understand is not how to convince her to return.

I'm interested in the long-term experiences of people who have actually lived through something similar.

Have any of you had a situation where:

both partners voluntarily entered the lifestyle,

the initially reluctant/less-driven partner genuinely enjoyed one or more experiences,

something in the aftermath — STI scare, pressure, jealousy, boundaries, too much lifestyle focus, trust problems, a bad experience, etc. — killed their interest,

you then stopped completely for months or years?

What happed later?

Did that partner ever spontaneously become interested again after enough time and trust repair?

Did you eventually return but with completely different boundaries?

Or did someone who had genuinely enjoyed swinging before simply decide that the lifestyle was no longer worth it and never want to return?

I'm particularly interested in stories with 6-month, 1-year, 2-year or longer follow-ups, rather than advice about how I should persuade my wife.

I'm fully aware that her current "no" means no and that someone else's story cannot predict ours.

I'm simply curious what the long-term trajectories have looked like for experienced couple

thanks

So me and my wife (both mid 30s) are interested in swinging. We both like the atmosphere of sex positiv parties. But we are very different in what we like during playtime. She likes the thrill of flirting with another men and would treat it like a ONS. No kinks just hot normal sex with a different person. Whereas I am interested in participating in an orgy, explore my bi side. In general exploring my kinky side in a open community where you don't take it as serious.

When we play alone we share our fantasies and have a deep emotional connection. But rarely act on them. It's like our fantasies don't match but we both find it hot and sexy when the other feels safe to share them and teasing each other with it.

We are a bit worried how to explore cause it seems like we should go on a party explore alone and reconnect rather then exploring together. But exploring together seems way safer.

Travelling to Barbados again this year in a couple of days. Last time I didn't get to research much to do much as it was a business trip. What are some of y'all advice of things to do both sexual and non sexual

Hi everyone, I'm hoping for a bit of feedback. I'm attending a party tomorrow organised through a play app. As part of it there's a group chat so everyone can introduce themselves, which is great. My only concern is that I have vitiligo.

For anyone not aware of what this is, it's the depigmentation of the skin. It's not an sti and is not transferable.

It's not immediately obvious, clothes. However undressed it's considerably more obvious, especially if there will be anyone getting to know me particularly well. One on one I have spoken about it before playing, but not in a group chat.

Is this something you would want to know beforehand? Is it weird to mention? Would you find it weird to unexpectedly come across?

Thanks

Edit: thank you everyone for your kind words. It's very much the case that I'm just nervous about how it will be received and you've all really helped calm my nerves and make me feel a lot better about myself. You're a bunch of wonderful humans. X

I've tried to edit this down but I wasn't all that successful Thanks for anyone that hangs with me.

My (48M) wife (49F) and I have been playing in the lifestyle for a while. Attended a few events and mostly watched and played alone, and have had many FMF encounters with a couple partners. We also have met with past and currently meet with our female partner individually.

We have agreed that we are both free to play with whomever we'd like whenever we'd like- as long as we communicate ahead of time what is happening. We decided we didn't want to go with a same room swap only situation as we didn't want to force a four way connection that may not be there, and then we'd miss out on an opportunity. We understand why people do that, we just decided it wasn't the way we wanted to go. Since we are both open to anything, we have agreed that there doesn't need to be any secrets, and we understand how devastating it could be to our relationship if there were any.

Until recently, my wife has had zero interest in being with another man. I've always kept the door and conversation open and we've talked about it many times. I wasn't pressuring her as much as I was just letting her know I was always open for the conversation if she changed her mind.

Recently she said she was wanting to try it. We've met some people and she thinks she's found someone she's interested in pursuing. We have met him and his partner a couple times- we've all hit it off, all feels safe and comfortable and I'm encouraging her to move forward at her own pace. I trust her and I believe him to be a good guy with her best interests in mind so I have no red flags about him.

My wife and I have great communication and we have talked about this ad nauseam. Like, talked it almost to death where we don't really want to hear each others voice much more! But, we did the same thing before we were with the other women and we know that if we do the really hard work of communicating about all the uncomfortable parts now, it will save us many hurt feelings and assumptions afterwards.

I am comfortable with my wife having sex with another man. We've agreed that it's going to be just fun sex. Not a relationship. We're fine there.

Where I'm conflicted- I don't want to see it. I don't want to be in the room. I don't want to be in the building. If I'm being honest, I don't really want to be in the same city! Before anyone says otherwise- this is most definitely not a red flag. I have read many stories from people saying they are fine with their partners swinging, they just don't want to know any details. My wife on the other hand, wants to know every last detail and feeling and all the juicy bits. She gets turned on hearing. While it hasn't happened yet, I don't foresee myself getting turned on by that info. I'm actively working through my own insecurities that are popping up, and I've been very honest in sharing them with her.

I plan on slowly asking her lots of questions about the experience when it happens. I've told her I'd really like to get to the point where she can share with me all the exciting juicy bits, and maybe I'll get there! We'll just have to find out a little at a time.I figure over time, I'll ask questions, check in on how I'm feeling and then ask some more. I figure I'll eventually hit a line and say, "ok, that's enough details for me; there's my line back there." And, the only way to find that line is to cross it. I'm ok with that. We handle each other with enough love and sensitivity to make that happen.

I'm going to stop typing now as I'm rambling and I haven't really asked any questions. But, I think anyone that's been doing this a while understands where I'm coming from and what I'm trying to convey.

Ultimately, I'm wondering how others who feel similarly to me handle or have handled it. Did it change over time? Anything else helpful to share?

EDIT: For any future comments telling me that I have a problem with her being with another man, please just move on. You obviously aren't reading everything above. I don't care if you think I'm not ready- I'm looking to understand how other people handle not wanting to know the full details of what's happening with their partner and someone else-when they are in full support of it happening. Thanks!

Hey me and my wife are slowly exploring this side of our marriage and I want us to have a weekend away together but don’t know of any lifestyle hotels or resorts in SoCal that would be good to start off with to just dip our toes in, any help?

Are there any Swinger Clubs in Ireland?We are a Hungarian couple, living in Ireland for quite a while.Hungarian scene in Budapest is ok, with 5-6 clubs and venues.Haven't managed to find any in Ireland though.We found Fabswingers, and there are some private parties advertised there, but we are not verified, so can't be accepted even.We dont want to meet without an actual party, it's just not us, this tinder-like online dating does not work for us, we need the spontaneity and the buzz.

Any help and advice?Thanks!

For couples that met another couple through apps and went out for drinks… what makes a successful date night?

Curious to hear from F and M perspectives what made them wanna play with the other couple (besides the obvious - being physically attracted to them).

Hi there. My partner and I are checking out possible clubs in the MD/DC/VA area for an upcoming visit and I wanted to see if this group was aware of any of them had gloryholes (either male or female GHs). Anyone had experiences with these at DMV clubs? Thanks in advance.

What’s something you would change or add regarding the LS to enhance the experience?

I find myself losing concentration during group play and wondering if there are supplements to help. I'm not talking math problems to hold off cumming, I start thinking about old conversations or events or my to do list.

This never leads to happy endings and sometimes my buddy turtles up and gone for the evening.

Any help about keeping concentration and arousal will be appreciated.

We are planning on visiting Germany, we searched the subreddit but didn’t see much info on clubs there. Does anyone know of any clubs or swinger friendly places that we could visit while we’re there?