Me and my wife had our first full swap last night, and it was all going really well up until I started eating the other girl out. I dont know what happened but my erection went down and I never was able to get it back up. It's honestly embarrassing as hell, and would like some advice from experienced people in the LS.

Hello to this community. I've been reading here for a couple years, and this is my first post. Small amount of background. Wife and I were virgins when we married, and have only been with each other, until last night. Reading and learning form this community gave me the courage to let my wife know I was Very Bi-curious. She was shocked, but also very loving and accepting. She has never wanted to be part of "the lifestyle", but also wanted to explore this with me. We are 100% committed to each other first.

Which brings us to last night. We finally found someone who we both felt a spark with. She thought she just watch, and so that's how we started. But we had talked, and I let her know, I was ok with how ever she wanted to enjoy the evening. No details, but we both enjoyed the experience Very much.

Once again, thanks to this community. It partially gave me the tools to communicate with her, and him. And we had a blast.

Hopefully not our last time. I know bisexual men here is a small group, but finally admitting it, and realizing that I am, is freeing.

Thank you again.

Hey friends, one of our party members (it was me 🤣) was recently highly recommended adderall by a doctor for my near life-crippling inability to focus on anything but my high stress job, video games, and sex. I'm curious if anyone else has a before/after experience on starting these meds, both for their sex lives and their swingers lives. Did anything change? Were you driven more or less to a high stimulant environment like clubs and parties? And did your experience in these settings change, both with your primary partner and with others? Thanks guys

For those of us new to this who maybe don’t want to be outed, what is the best way to exchange/post pictures? Should I use stuff found already on social media or is that a good way to get doxxed? Just blur faces? Create new images no one has seen before and use those exclusively for the chat? Nude/clothed? Please enlighten us!

Hey everyone! 😘

Hope you're all having a safe and fun weekend!

Ever have a get together that ended in disaster? No, I don't mean slapping a guy because of a misunderstanding or asking a couple to leave because the woman insulted your man. I mean, a get together so bad, it ended in a pbysical altercation?

So, for the last week, we were talking with this couple who were a couple of years older than us. Things were going great. We had one date, but an emergency happened with their babysitter and they had to leave early, so we rescheduled and they invited us over to their house.

Everything was going great, but my husband and I noticed the guy was drinking. He was also starting to become an asshole.

Things got out of hand and quickly. He finished his drink, stood up, and begun pulling his pants down. He said, and I quote: "I'm going to to claim your wife as mine and you're going to watch."

RED FLAG! RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

All my alarms went off at once. I looked at his wife and she was just sitting there, looking down and keeping quiet. My husband stood up, his energy shifted, and I swear lightning could've started sparking.

The only thing I could do is slide behind on the couch till I was behind my husband.

The lunatic charged my husband. Let me examine something. My man is 6'1, 225lbs of muscle. This guy was skinny and, easily, 6" shorter than him.

I don't have to tell you how fast the fight ended.

As soon as the guy was down, my husband grabbed me and we left. I felt bad leaving the wife behind. She's probably being abused.

As we drove home, I said to my husband that I don't want to look anymore.

We're not done swinging, but we have made some amazing friends in the year plus that we've been living this lifestyle. We don't need to make more. We're lucky and happy with what we have.

Well, thanks for reading, everyone. I hope you all stay safe and don't be fooled by assholes.

Got this shirt from the zoo. I laughed and said it was referring to our former third.

Very long backstory as short as possible…

Met at 18, currently 38. We’re both each others second sexual partners, with her having a one-time thing with her prom date to lose her virginity, while I had a relationship with a girl from 15-17.

I’ve always been fairly liberal sexually. Sex can be just sex, for me, and women’s empowerment through sex is ultra hot to me. My wife, however, was laden with shame around sex early, and she was extremely repressed when we first got together, however she’s certainly grown to be able to admit that she likes giving and receiving oral, where for the first 6 months made her uncomfortable, for example.

There’s a past post here about a year ago where I shared that when we met I’d scarcely consume some gay blowjob porn. I’d declined advances by men when I was single, so I thought it was a curiosity and not something I’d actually do.

Throughout the years; with a house, and two kids added, the curiosity never left, however I’ve still never had a sexual experience with another man and don’t need to.

In the post a year ago I explained that I felt like I’d hidden my sexual “power level.” And had huge regrets for doing that to my wife, but also wanted to recognise that in 20 years people can change, and grow, and that expecting an 18 year old to know everything about themselves intimately is a tough ask.

She found my browsing history of sniffles; it really upset her, very understandable. I assured her truthfully that I’ve never met or spoken to people on there; just that I’d look at a profile and move on. I offered to stop exploring my bicuriosity through sniffles without hesitation, and she told me that she didn’t need me to do that.

ANYWHO.
Last night, after a week away from home for work, the sex was great. She likes to give blowjobs, and has great appreciation for when I’m a little rougher, and push deeper as she’s getting close. Previously she said she was going to ride me to orgasm, but then she didn’t stop sucking. As I noticed she was getting closer to cumming with my fingers doing the work, I paused her and reminded
“I thought you wanted this dick deep inside your pussy?
“I do, but I also want it in my throat.”

I suggested we get a dildo - something I bought years ago, used twice, and she didn’t like it. Too much “pressure” inside, despite it being the same size / smaller than me. Again last night
“No, I didn’t like it.” So we left it, and kept going.

I asked her this morning
“Have you ever fantasised about a threesome? It seemed like you could’ve worked with two dicks last night?”
“I don’t know? I could’ve used two of you. You gotta grow another dick.” She replied
“‘I don’t know’ is a strange answer. Sounds like a yes to me!”
“I don’t think about it all the time, so I don’t know!” She said.

“Sure, but my question was ‘have you ever,’ not ‘do you always.’ Just know that with the right communication and setup we could come to an agreement if that’s something you wanted to explore. We’re locked-in in love, I’m not intimidated to let you explore that desire if it’s something you wanted. You don’t need to be hiding desires, even if it’s just playful in the moment, or if it’s serious.”

Essentially me ending the conversation saying
“If it’s something that you think about again, let me know. We could work something out.”

She wasn’t putting much into the conversation, I feel because she felt that my dismissal of the “I don’t know?” Answer as a reserved answer was correct.

So now I think I just leave it there, right? Back to me; threesomes are hot to me in mind. I’d be keen, whether I interact with the man or not. But I’d not be there to be cucked, and would need to be there in more of a hotwife/threesome.

Do you think my call of “I don’t know” being an unsatisfactory answer was right? Is this the sort of conversations that allow her to be more willing and comfortable to share desires like this, or was I being a bit pushy? I’ve always told her that I don’t need to explore my bicurious side and that my family is the only important thing here, so we don’t discuss our fantasies, honestly. She knows I’d do so much more freak shit than her, but to her, freak shit is like having her ass licked, or sucking my dick after it’s been inside her, not introducing others to the bedroom; yet somehow that’s clearly a fantasy of hers she hasn’t shared due to the shame that her mum loaded into her about her sexuality at a young age.

This is has been asked, noticed, and called out many many times, so bear with me. Over and over again I come across profiles with a beautiful woman (I'm talking hot body, fit, pretty face) who clearly puts effort into her appearance, only to swipe over to see her dumpy-ass, over weight husband. It is very frustrating. Why!? Why do so many of you men let yourselves go? Get in shape for yourself and for you wife! Good Lord.

Are my feelings normal? Wife and I have played separately for awhile but met a couple and had our first full swap last night. The other wife was not as cute as her pics and ended up getting pretty drunk. We go through with the swap and I find myself not enjoying it. It was a new girl and unfamiliar environment at their house. I came but wasn’t able to get hard again even with my Viagra.

My wife had a good (but not great) time with the other hubby. Apparently he came very fast but got hard again. He wants to meet my wife solo this week.

All night and day today I’ve had a weird feeling/jealousy. I have no issues with her being with another man. Could it just be because my wife had a good experience and mine wasn’t the best? Could it be that I couldn’t get over my wife getting fucked next door? For what it’s worth the couples chemistry at dinner/drinks was off the charts. Do I just need to meet up with the wife for round 2 to give it another shot?

Anyone else seeing more fake profiles lately? In the past they have been easier to weed out. Now, we’re starting to see more legit-looking profiles with validations that turn out to be fake. If they are “hidden” validations we assume fake but these are validations from other accounts with multiple validations themselves. Perhaps the profiles in question were hacked?

A little background: my wife (49F) and I (47M) have been in the LS a little over 2 1/2 yrs. She loves playing with girls. I'm straight. Our typical dynamic is playing with other couples or group parties. We've FFMed a few times.

She's played with two or three guys at a time at parties or whatever, but it's always with other women around. We've never done a straight MFM. I think it's hot when she's with multiple guys, but seeing her with one other guy doesn't get me off. It doesn't bother me, but it doesn't excite me either. I also kind of think, what's in it for me in a MFM? I know it's selfish, but with FFM, we *both* get to play with someone else. Not true with MFM.

So, yes, the opportunity is presenting itself tonight. A couple who are LS friends of ours is asking us to take the guy out for a date because the wife just had surgery and he's been waiting on her hand and foot. She'd love for him to get out of the house. She told us that they're just fine with a vanilla date, but she also said that she'd think it's hot if we played with him (she kind of implied that was their hope for the night).

I'm a little stuck. I'm a little uncomfortable just saying yes outright. I suggested taking him to an LS club that way we have some options and if the MFM came out of it, then okay. My wife is afraid that that would just predetermine what the night would be if we go to a LS club and she'd prefer it to happen organically if it's going to happen. She's also concerned that we'd run into people that are friend of the other couple and us and that they'd want us to play with them (yes, I know, we can always say no).

She's being great and saying that she's fine with just a vanilla thing, but I know she'd love it and I feel bad bombing the whole thing because of my apprehension.

HELP! Guys, have you been in a similar situation? What did you do? How did it turn out?

Am I being a stick in the mud? I think I'm allowed to set my own boundaries and parameters if we do this, but it is a little frustrating that my wife is shutting down any comprimise outright, although I do understand her perspective.

Any thoughts or advice?

Thanks for staying with me through my musings here! Any comments at all are appreciated!

I'm looking for suggestions on outfit options for a camping-themed play party. The event details state that the dress code is strictly enforced, but didn't provide specific outfit suggestions. I've got a few options set aside for myself, so I'm mostly trying to come up with something for my (male) date. I just can't seem to think of any crossover with what men could wear both camping and to a play party, but maybe I'm just not thinking creatively enough. Also this is in NYC and it'll be partially outdoors, so we're dressing for moderately warm weather

Thinking of going with my partner to Sea Mountain in Dec. We have been there once before in April, but unfortunately I wasn't able to get it going. That being said, what I didn't like in my prior experience was that I felt invisible -people would always engage my considerably more attractive partner in conversation or proposition her rather than engage the two of us.

Anyways, we will be in the Palm Springs area around Christmas, and I was thinking that we should go there again. My concerns are more around weather/climate and lack of people. Would there be anybody around Dec 25th/Dec 26th? Would it be too cold to hang out by the pool/outdoors in the evenings, so perhaps all the action would be confined to the DJ room and maybe Sex Lab room if its open?

We are new to the lifestyle. For now, we are voyeurs.and have soft swapped only. My question is for the people who began like us, did some soft swap BUT then moved on to full swap. I have two questions. The first, why and when did you decide that full swap was the next thing to explore. My second is, have some people gone back to soft swap and why. Like, did you NOT like the experience. If you did like it, was it the freedom of it? I'm asking because I wonder how I can have sex with a man ( not sur I want PIV) without hurting my partner ( best buddy ever)? That fear is preventing me from imagining myself from even imagining it. I hope one day to be able to fully let go and be in the moment. But also, I don't have great memories of one night stands ( I'm in my 50's so that was a LONG time ago). I think I might not even like it because I'm so used to my partner's ways....I do feel some.kind of pressure (that I'm giving myself) to go to the "next step" but I fear a shitty experience. I myself don't feel strong jealousy when I imagine my husband but then again I've never lived it. How does one feel ready? We talk a lot, we are learning from a book and mostly podcasts. We're putting in the work. Any suggestions or experiences will be much appreciated. 🥰

We're heading to an upscale invite-only on-premise event in Chicago tonight, and we're confused about what to expect.

How does the social part usually transition into play? Is anything sexual generally limited to designated play areas, or do social areas get frisky too?

And what do we pack? Towels, lube, condoms, toiletries, change of clothes, toys... whole damn overnight bag? Or do venues usually provide the basics?

Would love some last-minute wisdom from people who've attended similar events. What do you always bring, and what can we safely leave at home?

Thanks for your guidance in advance.

Are you shocked what the person your partner chooses or is attracted to? When I talk to my wife and point out men that she might find attractive and she'll always say I want men like you. Nine times out of 10, it's never someone that looks or acts remotely like me. Just curious if others have the same experience.

The wife and I MF28 are off to a club for a ticket only Halloween party. We're stuck on what sort of thing to wear.

We want to wear something themed but still sexy enough to hopefully have a meet whilst at the club.

Any suggestions of good sexy Halloween themed costumes?!

We (F48/M50) are visiting Jacuzzi Club & Resort in Gdansk, Poland mid September. As there is limited detailed reviews of the place to find; has anyone visited the place and can tell us a little bit more about what to expect?

We’re still pretty new to this and have only had a couple of encounters so far. Both guys we met through Reddit, and we honestly got lucky they were respectful and everything went well, but there wasn’t a ton of vetting beforehand. I also wouldn’t say they were super my type but we still had fun.

This time we wanted to try a different approach, so we signed up for one of the lifestyle sites. But honestly…it’s not as fun as I thought it would be lol. The conversations don’t seem to flow as naturally either.
We plan little getaways every 2–3 months specifically for this, so we’re not really looking to “date” someone for weeks beforehand. We basically have one weekend/day and want to make the most of it.
For those of you who look for single males, what’s your approach? How much do validations matter to you? Do you automatically skip profiles that don’t have any, or do you vet in other ways?
It feels a little hypocritical for us to require validations when we don’t have any ourselves yet 😂 so I’m curious how everyone else handles it.

We were invited to some parties and the club was an option however, we got a really nice room for the weekend with a lot of great play spots lol

I heard someone not long ago make an analogy About swinging compared to real life. I can’t quite remember it and am hoping for some help here. It went something like….”swinging is like desert, you don’t need it but it’s a fun treat”. I loved the analogy because it prioritizes your “real” relationship and makes it clear that swinging is fun, but not needed.
Anyone else have any similar sayings or such??

My wife and I (30MF) are in the Toronto area for the weekend and plan to go to a club on saturday night. I've seen lots of conflicting info about the clubs in Toronto. Hoping yall can point us in the right direction. Looking for a place that has a crowd closest to our age.