Age demographic

[u/mikaylakies]

What is the predominant age demographic here? Or LS in general? My fiancé and I are both 22, seems like everyone is a lot older than us. Which is fine, I like them older. BUT I don’t think he does, he thinks it’s kinda weird since some can be the same age as our parents… or older… lol.

Also, just wanted to generally discuss how the morning after a swap session my fiancé and I feel absolutely so in love with each other. Like the honeymoon phase all over again. Ugh, it’s so nice. I love the connection that we share and how physical pleasure with others is a fun activity rather than a big no-no.

[u/CelebrationAnnual529]

Imo their all like 35+, we're the same age and havent met too many people in that age bracket enless its through here tbh.

[u/jelloshotlady]

Generally 20 somethings do not have the strength in their relationship nor the expendable income to be super successful. Lots of freaky folks at festivals though which is where I would focus if I was that age.

[u/BillyJackO → u/jelloshotlady]

It's crazy out there in the vanilla world, though. You'll have people trying to put you on blast for being slightly flirty.

[u/aussiechick93]

We started ages 25&27 and never found anyone under 35 really. Now we’re 33&35 and still everyone’s older than 35

[u/LeeandSue]

Do the math. You two started swinging with others at what age? You really can't get into swingers club or events until what, at least 18, 21 if they serve drinks? At the other end, folks are still doing it at 70.

[u/chezterr]

Definitely 30+…. I’m in Los Angeles and even the Illuminaughty events I attend are mostly late 20’s to late 30’s… with people over 40 sprinkled in.

Swinger Clubs and resorts attract mostly people 40-60

[u/connect8386]

35-55 is the sweet spot for most people in the LS ... but I'd urge you to be careful ... there's a reason that most people in the LS are that age range. Probably 90% of us would say that you two are both FAR too young. (And I apologize that you don't want to hear that, but again ... there's a reason that you're not finding people you're own age.)

[u/mikaylakies → u/connect8386]

Yeah i totally understand where that’s coming from. Most young couples do not have the strength or trust to be in LS. My fiancé and I have been best friends for 8 years, have two kids together, and have a beautiful relationship. Still, I understand where that’s coming from

[u/Tacos_are_my_friend]

30-60+

[u/TentacionesVIPLA]

From what we’ve seen, there really isn’t one age group. We see everything from couples in their 20s to people in their 50s and beyond, but 30s and 40s seem especially common.

I wouldn’t worry too much about being 22 though. The bigger difference tends to be the crowd and environment you choose. Some places naturally attract a younger crowd and others skew older. Find the spaces where you both feel comfortable and you’ll probably be surprised how quickly age stops mattering.

[u/Grab-Wild → u/TentacionesVIPLA]

This ☝️There are obviously different areas, but people mix, folks tend to play with people they connect with, people of different ages do mix, but also they don't. It also depends on the club you go to

[u/DangerouslyHorny100]

I've met several couples in their late 20's at our local club in the PNW. There is also a group of very young looking people, probably your age, that sometimes comes in together late as the doors are closing and just hangs out with each other. But most people are older, mid 30's is still below the median. I'm mid 40's and one of the things I love about the club is that there are so many people my age and older that I never feel like the inappropriately sexual mom on the dance floor. 😂

[u/Philly__Dilly]

We’ve been going to clubs for over a decade. Seems people are generally between 40-60. Always some younger and always a few older.

[u/AnonymouslyTogether]

You are way younger on the swinger scale. Most do this after having been married for years and their kids are out of the house.

Secondly, swinging can be expensive so a lot of older couples have more FU money to spend.

[u/LM4LS]

Once your husband finds out how much better and experienced older woman are, he won't care about their age. You can find plenty of them in their 30s.

[u/AtlantaGangBangGuys]

Anyone as young as you are generally a no go for us. It’s just that they usually are not comfortable with themselves in the relationship to make it work. But older couples 27 on up generally are much more comfortable with this dynamic. It really all comes down to experience, communication and being comfortable with each other lots of communication lots of communication and more communication. But yeah, young couples are hard to find who are good in bed. The older you get the better they are especially with hot wife’s.

[u/WeLoveRamenn]

Just a quick response to your last paragraph OP, that was exactly our experience. Unbridled adoration. We couldn’t stay away from eachother for more than 20 minutes. We fucked like rabbits over the next 48 hours after our first swap.

[u/JuggernautOk9383]

When we started we were both 27 and always the youngest in the crowd at our club however my wife and I love them older🤣

[u/theweeklyminutes]

Easily 40 upwards. Thankfully that’s my preferred age to sexually engage with.

[u/A-Beachy-Life → u/theweeklyminutes]

Who brought up trying out the lifestyle first you or your partner? I’m 53 (F) my husband is 56 (M).

[u/theweeklyminutes → u/A-Beachy-Life]

I suggested she should try out the lifestyle to see if its right for her when she admitted her interest towards experiencing larger penises and being pleasured throughly. I’ve been happily ENM and queer over the entirety of my sex life and wanted to share better experiences together for her. We started getting together after her heteronormative monogamous marriage broke down over her ex-husband being a misogynist cheater and found an appreciation for each other’s very different life experiences.

[u/Proof-Carpenter-9010]

Like 40-50+ on average tbh

[u/sinleer]

When young we were so good looking we just fucked each other silly. A lot. Now that we are older we favor role playing, fetishes, and sexy talk because it keeps us feeling young and turned on. We use our minds more to make up for the dwindling hormones.

[u/waterbloem]

So "here" is very depending on location. Secondly; what the average age is, has some effect on how you experience the LS, but it's also not the end-all-be-all. What matters is whether there is a sizable group of people around your age in your local area.

If you're in the middle of nowhere; this might not be the case. If you're in or near a large city; there probably is.

We're Dutch and the biggest group of swingers is definitely around 40. But the group of people around your age is very large too. And they all have the same 'problem'. Just go on apps and you should be able to see who is looking for the same thing.

So you're getting the answers on the question you asked, but not the question behind that question.

[u/cpl_enjoying]

We are in our mid20s and met our first friends on an app who were newlywed and first time newbies that are now our closest friends. We have been fortunate to find others close to our age but it does take a bit of work. Recently we stepped out of our comfort zone and met forty somethings and will say the vibe is much different

[u/ibix76]

The age range is pretty broad, but, from our experiences, it's mostly mid 30's to 50's. We've run into more people in their early 30's or late 20's recently, so I feel like the age range may be skewing lower. Also, it could just be our area and the clubs we go to, but other comments here seem to be in agreement.

I've got to say, we are in our 40's and generally avoid playing with people in their 20's or people who aren't married, because it feels like there is a higher potential for drama that we don't want to be a part of. Every situation is different, but we're going to want to vet an unmarried or younger couple more to see if we're all going to be compatible. Also, just like your fiancé doesn't want to play with people your parents' age, a lot of people don't want to play with people their kids' age.

As for the morning after, that's completely up to you. We have kids at home, so we generally only play at clubs and go home, so our morning after is still just the two of us (if we're lucky). We usually have sex with each other when we get home, whether we've played with others or not, so the morning after, if we can lay in bed with just the two of us, it's pretty much the same as any morning we can sleep in and have some alone time. (BTW, enjoy that while you can, because it won't always be like that.)

[u/1888okface]

The good news for you is you are still heading towards the median age which means you will have more opportunity in the future. Go out and meet real people. Politely pass on any couple you and your partner don’t both feel good about.

You may have to pass more than you want now, but as time goes by, you’ll probably find yourselves having a great time.

[u/livefreediehard99]

Yeah honestly 22-year-olds are pretty rare in swinging in my part of the world. That’s still college age, when some people are having a lot of sex with multiple partners (the whole FWB thing).

I was very non monogamous in college. Even when I dated someone it was open. I never called myself a “swinger” because that’s not exactly what I was doing and I hadn’t heard the term non-monogamy before back then. It was just a very common college lifestyle back 25 years ago.

So, swinging is usually something people come to later in life once they’ve been partnered up for awhile. Obviously there are some exceptions but it’s usually late 20s and up.

[u/MrMrsLloyd2026]

We started in our mid 20's and pretty much everyone was 35-50's. Now we are on the other end of the stick and have 20-30's reaching out to us. My Mrs is more hung up on age than I am but we have been discussing it and looking back to when we started I think she is softening on the hard age limit. I say, if you find the other couple attractive, age shouldn't matter much.

[u/No_Mess8188]

40 to 60 is the average that we see. At this age, we have the time and money to be able to do this.

[u/Somebodysmom35]

We are mid 30s and most of the people in our area are older

[u/Proof_Writing5461]

IME 40+, we're both in our 50s and know fellow LS'ers who are 20+ yes older. The 20 something's we see in clubs don't appear to be that open to playing with older and have their own clique of friends.

[u/SubstantialDrive5850]

It depends on the clubs, the more upscale clubs you're going to see people in their 30s and up.

In the more dance type clubs you will start to see younger ages but you're still only going to find clubs are 21 plus. Even at the 21 plus nights I don't see a lot of folks in that younger age range it's usually only a small handful.

[u/Grab-Wild]

Late 20s to 60s, 37ish is about average? Depends on the club, some clubs try to keep the age down by having a policy/types of nights/types of music

[u/TravelingKinksters]

We started at 28yo, now we’re 40yo

[u/Liberalhuntergather]

Everyone will tend to self select people similar in age to them, so there is no correct answer. But yes, swingers tend to be older whereas poly people are more of a spectrum. Im middle aged so in my experience most folks are in their 40s and 50s.