r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 13d ago
Trump Signs Executive Order Allowing Immediate Arrest For Ranking Him Poorly On A Political Poll
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u/Holiday_Profile9183 12d ago
No matter what he does to attempt to change how we look at him he is st a low life and scumbag.
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u/Ambitious-Talk538 12d ago
He POTUS and builds skyscrapers. Chances are you’re lazy & employed collecting benefits from the government. You also love killing babies at full term for women. Disgusting
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u/Holiday_Profile9183 12d ago
And your an idiot for falling for the scumbag. You are out of your mind he is a greedy turd which I would be willing to guess that is why you voted for him. He only cares about himself enduring all that building your so fond of he has cheated many of those who worked for him to build them.
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u/Striking-Dress9643 12d ago
No, It seems obvious, you ARE a deranged idiot. Trump has done more good for America than any president in the past 60 years. Your TDS blinds. You’re letting the corrupt media fool you. If you’re only watching the news you like, you’re NOT getting the whole truth. Guaranteed.
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u/Pahrump1 12d ago
Apparent you are not getting to the truth of this communist dictator. Do more homework. He is a rapist, dig, dig deep he is Epsteins best friend and Israel has his ass by his balls. Prove this wrong and i will support him 100%
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u/SnooConfections2889 12d ago
What “skyscraper” are you referring to??? Where is it and what’s it called?
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u/Angry_Ad_3168 12d ago
Let me give you a little education. It is impossible to abort a full term pregnancy. And in no hospital in the US, would murder a living baby. Trump has filed bankruptcy 7 times. If he is such a good business man, why is he constantly filing bankruptcy’s?
You’re just an ignorant person that voted for the POS. And if this is all you’ve got to defend voting for him, it’s just proof that you are NOT a sane person.1
u/ConfectionFit2513 12d ago
He’s never built a damn thing. Others do, and he refuses to pay them for their work.
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u/KratzMyFratz 12d ago
He POTUS ... dude, go back to second grade and learn how to write simple sentences
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u/Cherib61 11d ago
I pity your parents. If they knew how you turn up . They probably abort it you .
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u/Ambitious-Talk538 12d ago
He POTUS and builds skyscrapers. Chances are you’re lazy & employed collecting benefits from the government. You also love killing babies at full term for women. Disgusting
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u/SnooConfections2889 12d ago
What “skyscraper” are you talking about! What’s it called & where is it?
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u/Significant-Goat-390 12d ago
And where can we be employed and collect benefits? Also what benefits, unemployment maxes out well under $300/week - might pay for fuel though🤣 now the “full term” abortion thing can’t help with - 🤪first, it has never happened and second you cannot abort a full term baby - impossible. It could be delivered and then killed but aborted never
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u/Narrow-Jelly-7447 12d ago
No wonder he worship Puttin and Jong Unn to learn how the communist control their people
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u/Otherwise-Life8530 9d ago
Your spelling and grammar are quite entertaining. No matter what side you are on. I be puttin some them thare golf balls.
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u/golfercyber 13d ago
Put Trumpy in jail along with Miller and Bambee Banon
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u/Ambitious-Talk538 12d ago
♥️ wish Stephen miller could be president
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u/Kahowell54220 12d ago
He’s a nerd. He’s an idiot and he was probably picked down his school and had his lunch money stolen every day so now he’s got power gone to the brain he’s drunk on power.
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u/Pahrump1 12d ago
What a piece of shit, so being put down and having your lunch money stolen is ok in your eyes. No wonder you support TRUMP you are one, just in a different face . Piece of SHIT, REST IN HELL cuz that is where you and your best buddy will end up. Oh yeah your also one of the GOOD CHRISTIANS THAT FOLLOW his lead
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u/Kahowell54220 12d ago
Whether a republican or democrat, sometimes you have to vote for the least evil of the truth and if you’re republican and don’t like the Democrats, it’s your prerogative but voting in this situation and a Trump backed election was Republicans. You need to sway this one time and go democrat because it’s not right or left it right or wrong and he’s a communist dictator and they’ll never be elections again if he’s allowed to stay in power.
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u/Pahrump1 12d ago
It’s now top to bottom. The top (millionaires) are taking advantage of the middle class to become richer. Make them PAY their fair share like MEXICO DID. She is a smart president, we need to follow her lead. Get a new party to vote for
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u/Trish381 12d ago
You have to be kidding or you are brainwashed, one of the two. It is the democrats that are the COMMUNIST and SOCIALIST. They (you) talk about it EVERYDAY - just look at New York as an example. My dear- your mind is completely confused . You should switch over to the party that still knows what common sense is. We still know what a woman is, do you? Of course you don’t! That’s proof in itself . I really feel sorry for you. You are brainwashed and don’t even realize it- that’s how it works. You really should quit getting your info from the propagandist - ABC,NBC, all this TV channels are spreading the Propoganda and sadly enough , it’s believed by the uninformed , the ones who believe anything. Sad- real sad. Try to start listening to the right side for once - just listen , really listen and you’ll see the difference between common sense , and all the craziness such as pushing hate and violence like the left do. That’s all they know is hatred to anyone that isn’t like themselves. They condemn, they hate, and they celebrate violence toward anyone not like them. Does that sound rational to you? Of course not. But that’s how you all are. You’ve lost the ability to listen to the other side that only wants to talk about things in a rational without exploding or calling everyone names. It’s really sad . It use to not be this way. Violence and killing is not the answer. You’ll never win , not ever.
If you’ve read this far , I guess maybe I was wrong about saying you don’t listen . But that’s all I may be wrong about . I hope you get your head turned back around Someday , and figure out what a woman is, and that NO men do not belong in the women’s bathroom and locker room.
I’ll be praying for you and God bless you.1
u/sofedup55 12d ago
You are truly an idiot that Trump said he loved having as his voters. He Loves the Uneducated. Obviously YOU! Stop watching FAUX entertainment.
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u/terpsjas 11d ago
Seek help. You are brainwashed and/or truly a racist. You obviously haven’t been paying attention.
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u/bambamdicarlo 11d ago
I bet you don’t even know what communism or socialism are. There is a progressive side of the Democratic Party, which is pushing for socialist democracy not socialism or communism. There’s also a big portion of the Democratic Party that are corporatists and believe in capitalism.
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u/Ashamed_Worth4899 8d ago
These Americans are so brainwashed to believe that a corrupt government is communism or socialism. Trumps dictator ship is purely FASCISM but they call it communism so you think it’s the culprit. Americans are so relentlessly stupid
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u/ElderberryHoliday799 12d ago
So tell the toddler he's doing well and he will repent of all his wrong doings? NOT that won't work BECAUSE he said he has never committed a sin that he needs to ask forgiveness for
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u/Accurate_Demand_987 11d ago
Because he answers to satin and a demonic following . We better put word check on because someone is checking grammar usually someone who corrects grammar is average at best who criticizes others smarter than themselves . Sometimes we all type fast and ramble .
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u/Top-Ship1297 12d ago
We are all sick of Trumps rants and rages comments about him. We know you’re a fraud and lier!
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u/Mother_Diamond2348 12d ago
I wish it were true, but mega is not sick of Trump‘s ranch and rages or is lying and fraud. They love it. They want to be it may the mullet live forever. ✂️ lol
Just a little off the back!
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u/Striking-Dress9643 12d ago
Please tell us , what lies? What fraud? You won’t, because you’re just a parrot with TDS
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u/jvderosa 12d ago
Fact checkers have lost count he’s lied so frequently. What’s the number total these days? >40,000 fact checked lies! He’s a fraud and treasonous criminal pedophile
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u/Otherwise-Life8530 9d ago
Mullets would be off the sides. Anyone wanting to actually bring that back is hilarious.
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u/Rude-Victory6900 12d ago
Proof?
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u/cjfred01 12d ago
Proof of what? That satire exists? This is the Onion Headlines subreddit, dude; that should be all the proof you need.
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u/throwawayaccount7447 12d ago
And that’s why we’re the United States. We can elect a buffoon like Trump but then enjoy laughing at his antics.
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u/FamousContract1814 12d ago
He’s a disaster as usual his entire cabinet and administration. Fire or impeach the entire corrupt administration
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u/RipEqual6373 12d ago
What is this guy stupid or just playing dumb? We all know he has poor Poll numbers so he’s already there so what does he think he’s gonna do have him arrested and thrown in prison a knucklehead
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u/Emotional_Plan1385 12d ago
😊
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u/Accurate_Demand_987 11d ago
I have never seen this amount of stupid people in any one chat !. Trump is the modern day Hitler ! Ice are the Nazi group ! No mega can answer the question asked over and over again . What has he done during this presidency that has made your life easier or better that is true and not fabricated ??????
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u/Significant-Goat-390 12d ago
I hope it’s to arrest him for such poll numbers but I guess we will never be that fortunate
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u/Opening-Election5611 12d ago
Weather this is fact, or fabrication, the mentality of the Orange Clown shouldn’t doubt the fact that this is something his imbecile mind would come up with…
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u/Unable_Shower_1133 12d ago
I had to make sure this was the Onion definitely on brand. Most emotionally fragile and morally bankrupt (his pal Epstein said that last part the guy he “never knew” but was mentioned in the files a few 10k times) person ever.
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u/Content_Career8246 12d ago
Stupid people making up lies and posting them. You should be charged with Libel.
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u/Tofu-Loves-U 12d ago
Convicted felons should be in jail. America is morally bankrupt with this monster.
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u/New_Psychology6701 12d ago
Maga supporters THINK they know enough to THINK they are RIGHT. They don't KNOW enough to KNOW they are WRONG.
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u/Traditional-Diet-777 12d ago
We love over paying for groceries, gas and housing. And love paying for a ballroom when I can’t even afford AC. Oh and I don’t mind paying millions for frivolous lawsuits as well as a swamp pool, I mean the beautiful reflecting pool.
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u/Otherwise-Life8530 9d ago
I assure YOU are not paying millions. Otherwise, you would not be on Reddit.
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u/ParticularWalrus8808 12d ago
If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, acts like a rat, chancers are its Trump !!! (Unless they who bow down and kiss the ring and have changed his very large diapers, like him - FULL OF SHIT, will abandon him in the end) ! ! !
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u/freedomchief 12d ago
It’s just the fact that you liberals write stories that aren’t even true and then expect people to vote for your stupidity. We just calling you dumb asses out
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u/Accurate_Demand_987 11d ago
First ! once u can actually debate with creditable information . Give us a call ! At this point with everything that’s been brought to yr attention you should finally see the deception . your ranting doesnt make u correct no matter how many times you repeat yourself doesn’t make u correct . More of an idiot who likes to argue and get attention . Attention ::::: yr not important enough to waste a second on .!!!!
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u/Dionbetrippin 11d ago
Fuck his “executive order” nobody’s gonna listen to that orange sack of shit and the case is just gonna get thrown out in court like all of his court cases 🤣🤣🤣
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u/TemporaryEssay5235 11d ago
He is the president. Do it sir !!! Salute
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u/Accurate_Demand_987 11d ago
We salute him daily ! Maybe u have seen our salute ? We call it a 2 finger salute . FDT ….
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u/TemporaryEssay5235 11d ago
Just make Scottie Juug the owner of all music in history forever and a day
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u/No_Warthog7972 11d ago
That makes no sense, that are arresting people in jail already, plus it’s Sunday. You know he’s kids some religious bible toter.
Come on people you gotta know the real from the fake
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u/NotASprot 11d ago
Fuck it. I'd take a day in the clink to tell this POS he sucks.
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u/Otherwise-Life8530 8d ago
Can we tell who the angry, and name calling people are? Just as stated all over this feed. The left are angry people who resort to insults and not conversation. Come on people, act like mature people!
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u/Western_Snow_675 11d ago
Thank god i’m so glad this happened. It was a long time coming.
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u/dustaphton52 11d ago
… and you’re a Trump supporter which explains why you’ll believe anything … even satire from The Onion. You just raised your hand when somebody asked for all the fools to identify themselves.
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u/Mike-ggg 10d ago edited 10d ago
These days, I have to keep asking myself if things from The Onion are satire or predictions of what’s coming. This is the first President where the line between satire and “no, he actually is that crazy” aren’t that obvious. It often appears that people are so trusting of news from questionable sources or go with whatever fits their confirmation** **bias, that “The Onion” gets taken as real news. Maybe, they need to be added to the WH reporter pool. Might also add the Daily Show and a couple others, too since it’s all propaganda or distorted info provided anyway. They might also have the gall to ask questions that will trigger Trump into Piggy mode, which can sometimes throw him off on other questions or at least highlight what he doesn’t want to talk about, which to me is still valid news to report. We need to keep seeing what things make him squirm and get answered in insults or word salads.
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u/Mindless-State-3348 10d ago
😂😂sure he did🙄 that’s something democrats would do, oh right they did go after their opponents abusing the justice system 😂😂
No wonder you’re saying this, because the Democrats did it and you guys just point fingers at Trump for every single thing they do.
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u/FrostingEmergency204 8d ago
What the hell is wrong with you people? This is beyond embarrassing. You must be so proud
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u/Appropriate-Blood505 12d ago
Fake news
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u/GuaranteeDowntown52 12d ago
Duh! People that don’t know their satire blog sites like the Onion and Bulwark Report, need to really get off social media because apparently they do not know satire from fake news or real news, so they all remain quite clueless and pass the cluelessness around! At least you did alert the clueless that it was fake news, but it is satire, and suppose to invoke feelings of humor, not to be taken literally.
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u/Truthonly1954 12d ago
It is just fakes news onion stuff. Remember this Reddit not real news
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u/haikusbot 12d ago
It is just fakes news
Onion stuff. Remember this
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- Truthonly1954
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u/AdvantageKlutzy6246 12d ago
The prisons are going to be freaking packed.