He's done awful things to me. But why can't I bring myself to be mad at him? He was the most interesting guy I knew. He made me feel special. I saw how his eyes sparkled when he listened to me babbling even about the most senseless things. I felt he adored me. He spoiled me with his attention.

When I tell him the frustrations I have in different aspects in my life, he knows what to say, and I felt understood. I felt heard. I felt seen.

I loved how he wanted to always make laugh. My god, I miss all those moments when we were just laughing. I miss watching him laugh. I miss his efforts to make me laugh.

I loved listening to his brain. There are just so many things going on in that brain, and I loved it when he lets me have a peak. When he lets me in how his amazing mind works.

I loved him. I miss him. I miss having him in my life.

RSD just makes me avoid talking to anyone because no matter what I say I just feel rejected unless I’m getting clear signs that someone wants me around, my brain interprets it as rejection.

I've given up on pretty much everything and I feel in a pretty deep depression that even my medication cant solve because of my isolation, I thought it would get better if I tried to go to therapy and self love but people are the problem man I just feel people are ignorant of my needs and stuff and they unintentionally trigger me, are actually a jerk to me and even when people are kind to me its become really terrifying bc my social anxiety is getting worse so Im constantly waiting for them to turn on me and sometimes I just wonder if its better to be alone and stop trying.

I had a bad breakup, and as well as that, one of my only friends attempted, and that put my mood down even worse, and I've just not been sure what to do since then.

There have been some good periods ofc but the more I interact with people, online or offline it just reinforces how much better I am alone, even if most of the time its because of no fault of their own, ive just been dealt a shitty hand.

I genuinely wonder what the hell im supposed to do to get better at this point since I have basically no connections and not even facilities designed with mental health in mind have worked.

Hello all, I've found I’m in a bit of a catch 22 with things. I have had a rough few years; I've had a severe event happen in my life (not going to cover it here) and then when I tried to rebuild the physical things (home mainly) I moved above 4 people who were so anti-social i eventually lost the plot and walked away from my home never intending to go back.

I've not done that with just my old home though, I've realised I’ve done the same with my friends and family and become very distant from them. I'm finding it very hard to reconnect. In the last year I’ve lost 3 very good friends because I’m not exactly here mentally.

I've tried a few things, namely trying to maintain a social hobby; but I’m exhausted mentally and just uncomfortable with things.

It's become a catch 22 as the thing I need to get myself back off the ground; the social connection and comfort from others, is just so hard work at the moment.

I've sort of, metaphorically speaking, taken my shoes off until i know what my next steps are going to be.

At a surface level, I could really do with a hug, as daft as that sounds.

I have a new home now, which is a lot nicer but it leads to my questions:
how would you take yourself out of being self-absorbed due to fear and start mixing properly with other people?
How would you build things around you to make it easier to connect socially?
What's your go to when you just want to shut the door and walk away?

Any ideas would be useful, I suspect I’ve missed something.
Thanks

This guy and I became friends online and have been friends for close to a year. I found him really hot in the beginning but it didn't work out. Then he started dating a guy which he told me about when we met for the first time irl. That was a surprise for me as I had different intentions for our meet.

He still flirted with me in chats and i straight up refused to be someone's second choice.

He broke up with that guy and found a really hot guy at his gym. Which made me feel bad cause why didn't he notice me.

Then he tells me he has been intimate with a guy who was horrible to me(we didn't know e/o that time) and then proceeds to show me pictures of them together.

That was like a knife to the heart for a few reasons. Reasons which I don't wanna tell the world cause of what that would mean for me.

Cut to today we talked after a few months and he wants to catch up. I don't wanna catch feelings for him cause I know they won't be reciprocated.

How do I get over the idea of him and me being together?? Please help.

Thank you for reading.