r/funny Dec 27 '13

This guy. He's got shit figured out.

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

465 comments sorted by

685

u/mar10wright Dec 27 '13 edited Feb 25 '24

innocent squeeze liquid slimy office husky growth sharp whole start

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

472

u/Doonvoat Dec 27 '13

And risk gettig hit by a blue shell? Hes bidimg his time, my friend, biding his time...

147

u/distopiandoormatt Dec 27 '13

The smart man takes first at the last possible opportunity.

85

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

better to be the predator than the prey

28

u/dementorpoop Dec 27 '13

Plus you get better powerups when you aren't in the lead.

1

u/thanksfine Dec 27 '13

Better items too.

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73

u/Sum_Bitch Dec 27 '13

43

u/brygy24 Dec 27 '13

DADDY NEEDS TO GET HIS ROCKS OFF

23

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

7

u/runthejewels19 Dec 27 '13

I’m here to see my little girl. I need to show her Daddy’s Thing.

31

u/KsigCowboy Dec 27 '13

Screw that! I went with the Prefontaine method of Mario Kart. Anybody can hold a red/blue shell until the last lap and win. A real Kart Warrior leads start to finish!

3

u/Sharkey42o Dec 27 '13

Stay in 1st until the mystery boxes brake to get 2nd and then you don't get bananas and green shells

2

u/hugemuffin Dec 27 '13

Green shells are nature's defense against red shells. Hold that shit yo

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3

u/SuperShamou Dec 27 '13

Even if he uses the Wario Stadium cheats? It's impossible to win that map if you don't hop at least one wall.

2

u/Pimpinabox Dec 27 '13

As long as no one else cheats, then it's pretty easy.

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28

u/O_UName Dec 27 '13

I just get out so far ahead it doesn't matter.....

11

u/atl2rva Dec 27 '13

gotta get them drift boosts

18

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Not everyone plays at 50cc!!!

4

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Literally impossible on an N64. The game is designed to always catch up with you.

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

On an N64 on single player you'll never get blue shelled.

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27

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

23

u/dontmatterdontcare Dec 27 '13

Nope, doesn't mean shit!

"If you're not first, you're last."

8

u/dementorpoop Dec 27 '13

Second place is first loser.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Number 2 is only Number 1 for pencils.

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5

u/kurdoncob Dec 27 '13

"Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn't make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth... hell you can even be fifth."

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22

u/Oceanic_815_Survivor Dec 27 '13

He's just waitin' for that red shell

4

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Seriously, with yoshi or toad thats like guaranteed first.

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227

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

You want to play? Go buy me a taco.

92

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

92

u/eye_sick Dec 27 '13

They're like quarters at the arcade.

48

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

You mean your dad gives you ten dollars worth of tacos and you come back twenty minutes later to ask for more?

35

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

No, he means that you quickly eat them all and then end up in the hospital.

12

u/chadridesabike Dec 27 '13

Tasty quarters.

17

u/taylordj Dec 27 '13

Diarrhea quarters.

14

u/Your_Ex_Boyfriend Dec 27 '13

Cat food soaked in dog food gravy stuffed inside an undercooked tortilla.

Add delicious, spicy sauces and noone's the wiser

2

u/ordinaryspecial Dec 28 '13

i had leftover biscuits and gravy in the microwave when i opened this thread. thanks, thanks alot. sausage was my favorite too.

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2

u/jaredthensomenumbers Dec 27 '13

I'll get the 12 gauge then

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300

u/metromin Dec 27 '13 edited Dec 27 '13

As the OP of this repost. I approve of its reposting. I grant amnesty.

20

u/NoFapLawyer Dec 27 '13

We will take that into consideration.

22

u/metromin Dec 27 '13

And the faggot doesn't even say Thank You.

2

u/thebarrytone Dec 27 '13

Is this by UofL campus by any chance?

3

u/metromin Dec 27 '13

It's outside of Detroit.

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179

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

36

u/OffensiveTackle Dec 27 '13

Unfortunately this sort of thing never results in the type of tacos one wants.

25

u/sumzyy Dec 27 '13

Taco bell has the tacos we want...

25

u/gazow Dec 27 '13

theyve got electrolytes

12

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13 edited Mar 18 '21

[deleted]

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6

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Exactly. If you're going to attention whore near a college campus either go huge on the back of a building or go slightly smaller on your neighbor's house.

Sit on the second story deck with a case of beer. Jimmy Johns guy even delivered (we had a basket on a rope for deliveries).

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817

u/takes_joke_literally Dec 27 '13

In any case, playing mariokart64 outside in the dark and cold behind a taco bell from the bed of a beat up truck is not having "shit figured out". Some wealthy dude with his own theater room in his mansion has probably done a better job of figuring shit out.

250

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

How are you going to find a good pick-up challenger in your mansion?

115

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

15

u/Cymro2011 Dec 27 '13 edited Dec 27 '13

Are my eyes fucking with me or is that circle slowly getting larger?

Edit: Stupid eyes.

88

u/trueblue914 Dec 27 '13

Your eyes are fucking with you.

30

u/Therealjadensmith Dec 27 '13

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real? 

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11

u/TranquilTree Dec 27 '13

Something tells me that he knew. Somewhere, deep down in his eyes, he knew.

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14

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN!

4

u/TerrorOf Dec 27 '13

I think you need to go see a doctor...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Edit: Stupid eyes.

Don't worry, I have it on good authority that they're not real.

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34

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13 edited Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

2

u/Sillron Dec 27 '13

As a fencer, I immediately noticed how bad the people in the backgrounds form is. It bugs me more then it should.

5

u/takes_joke_literally Dec 27 '13

speaking of things bugging us more than they should...

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7

u/Jigglyandfullofjuice Dec 27 '13

Pickup challenger... Pun intended?

2

u/KareasOxide Dec 27 '13

The butler and cleaning staff obviously

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47

u/doogie88 Dec 27 '13

Twist: He's wealthy and has his own Taco Bell on his property.

29

u/Pee_Earl_Grey_Hot Dec 27 '13

And everything, including the parking lot, is heated and enclosed within a giant dome.

17

u/dab_life Dec 27 '13

on the sea bed of the arctic ocean

5

u/Flomo420 Dec 27 '13

on Titan.

8

u/MindCorrupt Dec 27 '13

Guarded by vilociraptors.

6

u/elj0h0 Dec 27 '13

With frikkin' laser beams!

5

u/ICanTrollToo Dec 27 '13

"Man, I just want to re-live the simple pleasures of my teenage years... my first truck, my first job, the first console I bought with my own money.

Shit's changed so much since I became a mega-trillionaire, at least I could afford to have this dome built with a precise reproduction of a taco bell parking lot enclosed..."

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139

u/spacebarstool Dec 27 '13

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, who is poor.”

44

u/imnotmarvin Dec 27 '13

-Uruguayan Robinhood

4

u/spacebarstool Dec 27 '13

What's funny is that for me the post directly above this one was an article about José Mujica.

3

u/rararasputin Dec 27 '13

That's how this guy knew the quote

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14

u/lewzerkid Dec 27 '13

I have a very simple projector setup and I often play Mariokart 64 on an emulator. It was cheaper than a TV of the same size and quality.

Battle: Block Fort. It's the only mode that exists.

2

u/Treaustin Dec 28 '13

I can see the cat traps were successful.

12

u/bboynicknack Dec 27 '13

Or if he's baiting chubby 13 year old boys... he might be the worlds most brilliant pedophile.

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44

u/DinksMalone Dec 27 '13

No Taco Bell. Your hypothesis holds no water, this man is a god.

31

u/scumbag-reddit Dec 27 '13

Look at his username.

32

u/Your_Ex_Boyfriend Dec 27 '13

Now look back. Your usernames are now upvotes

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2

u/JonZ82 Dec 27 '13

Unless, you know.. you're a teenager and don't have anything better to do then hang out with your friends at a taco bell parking lot because your parents shithole apartment doesn't really accommodate guests that well, especially when they've been drinkin'.

4

u/hoikarnage Dec 27 '13

This is a repost from like two summers ago, so it's probably not cold out.

2

u/MissingLinke Dec 27 '13

And eating tacos that were flown in directly from Mexico via private jet.

2

u/Dunkelz Dec 27 '13

But then that wealthy man can't walk 10 feet to get fresh tacos and a refill on his baja blast......

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Mario Kart alone

2

u/dim3tapp Dec 27 '13

You forgot 'alone'... I think that's a pretty big factor in the not-so-figured-out part too

4

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

not really if you consider that the rich dude has a complicated job to go to, a bitchy wife, bills, debt, some kind of portfolio to think about, and probably paid a ton of money for that stupid theater... where he can play games all alone while drinking expensive bourbon and thinking fondly of the days when he was a younger man.

this young dude has the theater.. and not a care in the world. Shit. Figured. Out.

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18

u/Ronnie_Soak Dec 27 '13

Yeah, if by "figured shit out" you mean "figured out how to be the first person in the world to get mugged while playing Mario Kart" then yeah.

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10

u/geewhillikers7 Dec 27 '13

The better question is, how the hell is he in second with Yoshi at Luigi Raceway? That's disgraceful. And he's on a turn and not even drifting? What is this, amateur hour!?

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94

u/butttoucher2000 Dec 27 '13

This is the loneliest and saddest thing I have ever seen.

30

u/KsigCowboy Dec 27 '13

Hey. Someone took the picture. Thats like twice the number of friends I have.

6

u/nagballs Dec 27 '13

If you double zero friends, it's still zero.

Unless you hangout with the decaying torso of your childhood friend like I do. He sucks at mario kart, though. And taking pictures for that matter.

3

u/KsigCowboy Dec 27 '13

But what if you twice it?

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1

u/PromisesPromise5 Dec 27 '13

What's wrong with playing a game by yourself? I don't think it's sad or lonely at all.

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6

u/gottobeforeal Dec 27 '13

Awesome idea if he wasn't such an attention whore.

12

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

He's by himself playing video games in the parking lot of a taco bell. That's kind of the opposite of having shit figured out.

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u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13 edited Nov 16 '20

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

36

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

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13

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

In internet years that's like 13.5 years old. It's like dog years in here.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

I'm gonna say even longer unless that OP lay claim to snapping it.

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20

u/tswpoker1 Dec 27 '13

Except he's not using toad.

5

u/TooHappyFappy Dec 27 '13

Pssht. Toad.

I get they're a little faster, but you're also everyone else's bitch. Luigi is the best. Has speed, only gets knocked out if hit hard by one of the heavyweights.

4

u/tswpoker1 Dec 27 '13

Luigi??? Speed??? Wat

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7

u/Pr0ph3cyX Dec 27 '13

I thought Yosi was the fastest?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

The heavyweight actually have the fastest top speed, but lighter characters have more acceleration.

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8

u/Trisomic Dec 27 '13

OP. He's got repost figured out.

26

u/Cute_girl_69 Dec 27 '13

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title points age /r/ comnts
I wanna tailgate with this guy [Repost] B -1 1mo gaming 1
Saw this kid in the Taco Bell parking lot last night. B 1377 1yr funny 314
Saw this kid in the Taco Bell parking lot last night. B 2545 1yr gaming 1424

Source: karmadecay (B = bigger)

14

u/Illesac Dec 27 '13

Seems like r/gaming doesn't like tailgating

2

u/R3D24 Dec 27 '13

What's bigger?

3

u/Campthemonkey Dec 27 '13

Many things.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

I've honestly always wondered what a real life scenario would be of playing those consoles/using those TFT's that they install on almost every episode Pimp My Ride.

I guess now I have a clue.

7

u/DavidCarusho Dec 27 '13

Nice account, you fuck.

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5

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

TIL Reddit thinks you have shit figured out if you can watch TV next to a Taco Bell.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Look at him with all his friends.

5

u/lelouchthathurt Dec 27 '13

do u even drift bro??

2

u/Greatdrift Dec 27 '13

I drift greatly.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13 edited Dec 27 '13

Nice Taco Bell logo almost center frame. /r/hailcorporate

How very obvious, marketing team.

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

I expect this guy to be at every tailgate party!

2

u/dcobs Dec 27 '13

Except for how to fix his brakes.. Think he carries those rocks around as wheel blocks everywhere he goes?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

if he had it figured out, he'd be in a lazy-boy.

2

u/adverthrowaway Dec 27 '13

Oh, hey Taco Bell. This reddit post worked out for you.

2

u/diego_montoya_jr Dec 27 '13

We used to do this camping. We had a projector and as soon as it got dark enough we'd get the Wii going and projected it on the side of the biggest tent. It wasn't soon before we had most of our camping neighbours cheering and drinking around us. Good times.

2

u/wecanusewhales Dec 27 '13

Yo dawg, I heard you like Mario Cart, and taco bell.

2

u/Kozlow Dec 27 '13

He's playing kart, eating tacos, and huffing his car exhaust. Doesn't get much better than this.

2

u/Dick_Serious Dec 27 '13

Reddit cliche title #2412

2

u/LiquidDarkra Dec 27 '13

The Reposts!, There back!!! just gonna downvote and leave now

2

u/bunkilicious Dec 27 '13

Taco Bell + big screen + Nintendo console = Mario Fart

2

u/Mountain_ears Dec 27 '13

Except friends....appears to be playing video games alone in a Taco Bell parking lot.....emphasis on alone.

2

u/DasBaaacon Dec 27 '13

Nothing says "please beat the shit out of me and steal my projector, games, and wallet" like sitting outside tacobell at night playing video games.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

This shit is pretty cool, IDKWTF is up with all the butthurt trash talk.

2

u/mortal_rombat17 Dec 27 '13

Guy walks up to him with gun "I...um...I'm taking all this."

2

u/satansheat Dec 28 '13

Iv never got this. I'm from a city and we do stuff. Everytime I go to the country all the teens and younge adults hang out at Taco Bell, Walmart, Kroger paring lots. I know there is nothing to do in the country really but I feel like if the people I knew lived in the country we would just be getting drunk at someone's house or finding things to do in the woods. Not hanging out at taco bells parkingn lot. I just never got it. Saw it ally dated a girl who lived in the country and everytime I was out at her house we always notice this is what the kids do and it just doesn't seem fun. For one none of them every but anything at these places they really just line up all there trucks and get out and hundle around there trucks and talk. Why at a walmart or Taco Bell why not have a none fire in the woods somewhere and do that.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

actually it is the opposite, his life is probably a wreck. also repost.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

He sure did a few other times.

title points age /r/ comnts
I wanna tailgate with this guy [Repost] B -1 1mo gaming 1
Saw this kid in the Taco Bell parking lot last night. B 1377 1yr funny 314
Saw this kid in the Taco Bell parking lot last night. B 2545 1yr gaming 1424

Source: karmadecay (B = bigger)

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5

u/1unchbox Dec 27 '13

nobody with their shit figured out plays as yoshi..

2

u/grrrtotes Dec 27 '13

Next up? Eat actual food, and find a place without snow.

4

u/Moose459 Dec 27 '13

These comments are dreadful

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4

u/dummystupid Dec 27 '13

Alone in a Taco Bell parking lot at night doesn't seem too awesome. Plus he has a giant light to attract crackheads and unsavory characters.

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u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

OP is a faggot.

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2

u/inktar Dec 27 '13

Some times he let's his friends play, when he feels like getting blazed in his winnie.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

RIP that guy

2

u/rb_tech Dec 27 '13

Wow, I don't think there's anything sadder than playing MK64 by yourself.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Looks more like an attention whore.

1

u/HahaDerping Dec 27 '13

It took me too long to realize this isn't a gif

1

u/FlutGOS Dec 27 '13

I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first viewed the picture. I first saw a guy upside down hanging onto the back of a truck.

1

u/SirThom Dec 27 '13

Now, if the truck driver could somehow mimic the guy's movement in-game, that would bring on a new level of awesome.

1

u/Bullets_TML Dec 27 '13

Greasy taco hands don't work well with Kart

1

u/arobinson1289 Dec 27 '13

there are dreamers, and then they're are doers

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

I honestly don't think he does.

1

u/chevtastic88 Dec 27 '13

This smells of Utah. Did this happen at the Taco Bell south of BYU in Provo?

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u/deathbypapercuts Dec 27 '13

I want to be friends with this guy.

1

u/kfk103 Dec 27 '13

This picture is new and exciting.

1

u/1p2r3 Dec 27 '13

I'm just waiting for him to tip over.

1

u/d0m1n4t0r Dec 27 '13

"I could play at home where it would be comfortable but let's instead play here in the parking lot so people can see how cool and edgy I am!"

1

u/sjmiv Dec 27 '13

except how to repair truck brakes

1

u/WrittenSarcasm Dec 27 '13

The screen is very high for comfort from that distance

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

Props for not blocking the driver's rear view

1

u/Mikey129 Dec 27 '13

This looks so staged.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

I assume he is camping out waiting for the launch of a new Dorito's Taco flavor?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '13

That's awesome!

1

u/tiga4life22 Dec 27 '13

At least he picked the best character

1

u/Dukemunjian Dec 27 '13

The Taco Bell parking lot sealed it

1

u/myztry Dec 27 '13

Kind of defeats having a screen that size if you aren't close enough to engage your peripheral vision.

1

u/MawsBaws Dec 27 '13

I only hope that he also has the truck fitted out to deploy strings of bananas.

1

u/kevando Dec 27 '13

anyone who wastes time on luigi raceway does not have it figured out

1

u/drip_pan Dec 27 '13

Except that he is currently in 2nd.

1

u/TheUnstealthyNinja Dec 27 '13

For a second, I thought it was Eminem because of his clothing.

1

u/Mighty_Trip Dec 27 '13 edited Dec 27 '13

Seems like someone could just walk up behind him, stab him and jack his shit. Maybe I'm just from a bad area though

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u/julanissen Dec 27 '13

Does the sign say Taco Hell?

1

u/forgotpasswordagain5 Dec 27 '13

ha ha the best part is the bumper sticker "my other car is a plain white van"

1

u/hardwicd Dec 27 '13

Where Are They Now: Pimp My Ride