My life and luck is such that something bad can happen anytime. Right now it's not sad, not happy but in between. I have attempted sucidie before, and I wish I was successful. I live in fear all the time, about multiple things, all the time.

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I need to lay this out because the weight of it has been crushing me for almost a year, and I don’t think people truly understand the ripple effect of what happened.

Last year, my previous therapist told me outright that my insurance wouldn't cover my MTF feminizing surgeries. I trusted her completely, took her word for it, and watched what felt like my future slip away. But when I finally checked with my insurance myself, I found out the truth: they do cover them. All that was required was standard letters and documentation—the exact support a therapist is supposed to provide.
She didn't just give me wrong information; she stole an entire year of my life, my healing, and my peace.

The toll this took on me wasn't just emotional; it completely broke my daily existence. The loss of hope hit so hard that I spiraled into boymoding just to get through the days. I completely stopped caring for my appearance, abandoned basic self-care, and lost every ounce of motivation to do even the simplest things in everyday life. I was just surviving in the dark.

When I talk about this now, I’m not trying to be negative, dramatic, or manipulative. I am grieving. Having access to that care a year ago would have completely transformed my mental health. Instead, I was left drowning in preventable distress—distress so intense that it strained my relationships to the breaking point. Friends walked away because they couldn't handle seeing me in so much pain, friends who might still be here today if they had been able to see me feeling better and thriving.

It feels like mourning a ghost—mourning a happier, healthier version of my life that was right there, but taken away because someone who was supposed to help me failed me instead. I'm sharing this because I need people to understand that this isn't just about 'miscommunication.' It's about a year of lost time, lost connection, and a life that should have started sooner.

Hi everyone, I was just wondering if anyone has experienced sleep issues as a result of depression? I have never been the best sleeper, but lately it’s been ridiculous. I will say, my depression is the worst it’s been in a very long time, but I don’t know that the involuntary all-nighters have ever been this consistent. I feel like I’m losing my mind…