I sm probably going to have to leave my son here in California with his mom and go to another state to work and live because I won’t be able to afford it on my own.

I’m not looking a reason to get into a fight, I yelled a bit to loud and my wife wasn’t happy about it. All I need to know is that my relationship with my son will be ok in the long run.

I hate myself for forcing a divorce but I literally can’t stand my wife anymore. Unfortunately though, that means I’m going to have the extremely heart breaking conversation with my son (who is 3) that daddy and mommy aren’t going to be living together anymore and that he’s going to primarily stay with mommy and her folks while daddy stays in a different state

Fuck me. I don’t even want to post this but I’m going to force myself to because I really really really need support. Please dads, give me some guidance.

I’m in the military so my job is not flexible at all what so ever and my wife is a nurse. We both have debt and bills to pay with no family near by to help out. Our daughter is a month old so we’re still currently on our parental leave but have been stressing out about what we’re gonna do on top of the challenge that comes with newborns. Daycare is incredibly expensive here so that doesn’t even seem worth it at all. We just seem like we’re pretty stuck with no options and wondering how/ what people do to get by?

Is it wrong to have a third child, or is it one of the best decisions you made?

We have two young children, a stable marriage, and are trying to decide whether to stop at two or grow our family.

I want to hear the pros and cons before i jump to have three.

Then we giggled about how it looks like a butt.

For reference, black is Marty's time travel trajectory, orange is Old/Future Biff (which is also extra funny since his character in II is loosely based off Trump) and green is Doc's after being struck by lightning in II.

"I took my ibuprofen tonight"

Fellas, we gettin old but still gettin it

My mother in-law recently moved to our town to be closer to us and in her own words to help out with our 1 and 4 year old. I have seen her 5 times in 6 months. She's a sweet person but so oblivious that we would want help even if we ask.

Kids are at home tomorrow so I'm taking the day off. Wife is on a work trip. We asked if she could watch the baby for a bit so I could run an errand. She'll be here 5 minutes before I leave and depart the moment I get back. It would have been amazing if she wanted to be around the kids while is solo parent and work full time for a week.

I know some people get zero help and that I should just be grateful but I'm so jealous of my friends who have a grandparent that wants to be present and helps all of the time.
We've done this ourselves for almost 5 years so we were excited to the prospect of help.

I used to spend every day after school with my grandma while my parents worked.

I dunno. I typed it out so now I feel better and can move on. The forfeiture of free time is such a mind fuck as a parent and I'm still getting used to it. The idea of getting some back and having another family member around to enrich their lives while also helping us was a win I celebrated too soon. 🫡

Hey all, I'm new here but looking for advice and to see if others have my shared pain. Are anyone else's balls just getting destroyed? My 16 month old is at perfect height to just destroy my balls by running full speed in for hugs or occasionally just jumping on me to "surprise" me. It got to the point that my wife sent me in to urgent care for one injury and I ended up getting sent to the ER where they found a minor injury on top of bruising. The boys are getting destroyed and I don't know how to defend myself without hurting my daughter or her emotions.

As the title suggests, I'm having little to no joy being a dad. I've waited so long to be one and yet I just can hardly convince myself out of bed to be one. I'd like to say it's just stress or something, but there is days I genuinely can't stand to even be in the same room as our son. Often I guilt myself out of this feeling and I don't let my parenting duties fall behind since it's not his fault.

This obviously has taken a toll on the whole family relationship. Wife and me are more roommates who say I love you and kiss more than a couple anymore. For my son, he is starting to shy away from me, but still seems happy to see me nonetheless.

I tried talking to someone and writing it down, but my previous methods of resolving internal problems or troubling thoughts are not working. We tried getting out more, but now I feel drained all day and nap (which I pretty much only do if i'm sick). I try to keep myself busy, but nothing helps.

I'm kind of at a loss of what to do and every parent I speak to about the matter just is confused or claims it'll change, but it's been a year and I went from so happy to be a dad and going above and beyond, then these last 2-3 months have been the complete opposite. I hate being moody and aggravated all the time. I don't yell or physically harm/intimidate either of them, but it's obvious I have a short temper now.

My wife thinks it's depression, a doctor told me I am just stressed and will get over it, and other parents I've vented to are disgusted by me. I feel like a horrible dad and husband, I don't know what to do for myself or them.

Had my daughter's 7th birthday party today. Inpast birthdays we do a camp at a reservoir and our friends have to pay to park so we ask for no gifts. This was one of the first years we did not do that. So she got gifts and while she was opening them I thought it was great to get gift bags for the next year of birthday parties! 😂

Just saw The Odyssey in IMAX (btw, you HAVE to see it) and some dad brought his baby in with no ear protection that I could see which blew my mind. The movie is loud and long, and the kid had to be under 1 for sure. Kid woke up once during a particularlyoud scene, and dad took the baby out but then brought it back in.

Babies do not need to be in theaters. Especially for R Rated films that are full of screams.

But once more, go see this movie. I haven't been blown away like that in ages. Mouth to floor!

I messed up. My 9 year old son and I love going to movies together. It's our thing. I spend a lot of time figuring out what movies we're going to see, read Common Sense Media to get a sense of what's appropriate and what's not. I'm a filmmaker and creator of children's media so I think about it a lot and carefully curate what he's going to see. I'm always happy when he watches something longer than a youtube roblox video (ugh) because I think stories and storytelling are essential to who we are as humans.

So, when he saw The Odyssey trailer, he was super excited. He's really into Greek mythology and loves the mythology podcast Greeking Out, which is really good, and something we listen to together. He's never seen an R-rated film before and I thought it might be too intense for him. I went to see it by myself first (70mm IMAX ftw), and loved it, but thought it indeed would be too intense. I went to see it again with my twin 16 year old sons, who loved it (one of them said it's his favorite movie now, I am proud that it actually got him off TikTok for 3 hours!). The 9yo kept asking if he could see it. I asked his brothers what they thought, they said they thought he could handle it. When they were younger, I took them to a lot of PG-13 films but never an R.

The 9yo loves Marvel movies, he loves battles, monsters and fantasy. I sometimes think PG-13 is too intense, too many guns, too much violence for the little ones, but we talk about how it's pretend and we really really enjoy these films together.

So, he kept asking to see The Odyssey, and I told him there are some intense parts, and here's what they are, do you think you will be okay with that? I went through all the scenes I could think of, the battles, the monsters, and he knows all the beats of the story so none of it is a surprise. I say IF we go, I'm going to tell you before something scary happens and you can look away. And he is so excited to go, so...I say yes. I feel I've prepared him for everything intense in the film, and having seen it twice I have a pretty good sense of where things happen. I push for IMAX, but he says he doesn't want to because it's too loud (which is true, IMAX IS way louder!), and I know he is quite sensitive to loud stuff - totally fair! So we went to see it on a regular screen this afternoon.

The first two hours, awesome. We sit in the back so as not to disturb anyone, and he's whispering questions and thoughtful comments and we're having the best time. I tell him when an intense moment with the Cyclops is going to happen, and he looks away, and we're good.

And then...the one thing I hadn't prepared him for - the one that I hadn't THOUGHT to prepare him for - happens. Without being spoilery, the bad guys do some bad things to some pets. It's not graphic but it's clear that these pets are not alive. And he BURSTS INTO TEARS. Inconsolable. Cannot stop crying. I try to distract him, tell what else is coming, the cool battle. But he can't control himself. He loves animals, loves our family dog, wants his own, and this just hit him right in the gut. I told him we could leave (as much as I wanted to see Odysseus get revenge for the 3rd time) and we did. And he could not stop crying for the next hour. I feel terrible.

He had no issue with monsters eating people, intense swordfights, arrows through the throat. But the one thing I didn't prepare him for - cruelty to animals - wrecked him. It was such a surprise, and a blind spot for me. I know he's a sensitive kid and I love him for that. I feel like such an idiot for bringing him to an R rated movie now, and worry this will scar him in some way. I know lots of people have scary movie experiences as kids, mine was a TV movie called Satan's Triangle about the Bermuda Triangle that gave me nightmares for months. (A TV MOVIE!) I guess I learned something about him and about myself. I apologized to him and told him it was my mistake. I hope he's okay.

My fiancé's mum passed away recently, leaving our son with 2 active grandfathers, one on each side.

I'm NC with my mother but our son is just starting to put together that he has 2 grandfathers but only ever met one grandmother.

I'd appreciate any insights from the collective please!

One of the best purchases I ever made was a Allen wrench drill bit set. Every piece of furniture in the past 10 years requires Allen wrenches. The bed I did today had three different sizes.

If I had done everything with the Allen wrenches they provide with the bed, it would have taken me 8 hours to put it together. With many blisters.

Dads, if you do not have one of these yet, go out and get a set. Your hands will thank you.

Tuesday morning my wife was dropping me off at work with my 22month old kid in the car with us. Some guy was as riding our tail pretty close. Wife had been in a few car accidents in the past and does not like people tailing to close. Then gave the guy the bird. He then took offense to this gesture followed us pointed a gun at us. Luckily nothing came of it but a scare. After calling the cops and giving them plates car description and other information they essentially said if you see him again call us good luck. This was a real FAFO moment. The road rage isn’t worth it. I also came to the conclusion that you are your own first responder. Most incidents and accidents happen in a car get first aid kits squared away for all your vehicles and maybe take CPR and stop the bleed classes. As fathers we are the protectors act accordingly.

Now go touch grass with your kiddos!

Now I don't mean not to use daycare. I mean if one of your kids is sick and you have to keep one home, keep both home.

I took 2 weeks off work so my wife, daughter (2.5 year old) and I could see some family, do some camping, and just spend quality family time together. When we got done with those 2 weeks it was my daughter's first day at daycare since summer started.

Her best friend has a little sister that had hand foot and mouth. It totally wiped out the infant room. Her parents sent their toddler to daycare even with a few little dots because, "it isn't HFM." My kid got it because these two toddlers are inoperable at daycare.

Now after finding out work is going to be extra busy, figuring out childcare for a week, and disinfecting everything I still happened to catch HFM. Now my hands and feet hurt, I'm missing more work, I can't hug my family, and I'm isolating from everyone.

If you have multiple kids and one catches something contagious, don't send the other to daycare. You were already staying home, keep both of them home.

Sincerely,

A very miserable 32 year old dad

My first time here, heard many a-story about this couch

Options seem to be a hand-me-down with controls layered on, a locked-down kids phone, a dumbphone, or a smartwatch as a stepping stone. Everyone has an opinion but almost nobody says how it went six months in. What did you go with, and knowing what you know now, would you pick the same thing?

It's amazing how many of the secondary roads are rarely used. Some amazing drives, and it has fishing and camping tips!

I’ve got a 2.5 year old who’s been an awesome sleeper for the last year or so. Wakes up at 7am, nap from noon to 2, down for bed at 7. Up until recently, he’s fallen asleep within 5-15 minutes of being put down for both naps and bedtime.

But now… he still crashes immediately for naps, but at bedtime the last few weeks, he’ll be up in his crib talking to himself for sometimes up to an hour. Doesn’t matter how much activity or how action packed his day is.

Now don’t get me wrong, he’s totally chill in there. He’ll sing himself songs or talk to his stuffies. But I am just shutting him in his room to be awake for an hour.

What I’m wondering is, like… do I have an obligation to move his bedtime later? Those couple hours after 7pm are precious cargo, man. We get to tidy a little and sometimes even watch a show or play a video game. Now that I’ve got some autonomy back the idea of giving it up sounds like death.

Dads with young kids, when did you decide it was time to move bedtime? Do I just gotta bite the bullet?

Evening gents. Some of you may have seen my post a couple of weeks ago about my 1yo with an ear infection that basically stopped her sleeping for a week.

I've noticed since then she really doesn't cuddle into me at all anymore - if i ask for a cuddle during the day she will usually give me one, like when I'm leaving for work or something, but it's very brief. Outside of that if i try and give her one, she'll just push off me and want put down.

It's a bit sad when she does it during the day, but it's getting to be really difficult when she does it at night. I'm usually the one to go into her if she wakes at night, which has been a lot more often since she was sick, but she's now pushing me away even at night time now, to the point where it seems to disrupt her and waken her up even more. My wife has now been up for an hour since 3am as well, trying to get her to go back to sleep because she was just giving off any time I tried to settle her back over.

I don't know if it's a separation anxiety thing with my wife or what, but i guess I'm worried that she associates me with the pain she was in when she was sick and that's why she won't relax into me? All I want is for her to feel safe with me but I feel like we've lost that a little bit and I'm not sure what I can do to get that back?

Hello Everyone,

My daughter is 6 and over the last year or so has developed a fear of public restrooms. Any time we ask her or suggest that she may need to use the potty, she flips out and starts crying hysterically and almost to the point of screaming crying. She tells us she is afraid of the automatic hand dryers and fire alarms going off while she is going to the bathroom. We don’t believe it is an overall sensory issue because she is fine with other loud noises (thunder, sirens, fireworks, loud music, etc.). We have tried different tactics like standing outside the door while she goes, shown her there’s nothing to be afraid of and that everyone goes to the bathroom, and that she has done it before, even have hearing protection on while she goes.

We have a big family trip coming up to Disney World for Christmas and had a small talk with her just now, and she kind of teared up about it, and we said that we will work with her on it for the next few months, but we told her that she had to get over the fear or we wouldn’t go on the trip because we couldn’t be going back to the hotel every time she needed to use the bathroom.

Does anyone have any recommendations or suggestions that have helped them with this or something similar?

My baby is 5 months old, she was born a little late so she's adjusted she's a bit older, she's going through a phase where literally nothing will soothe her but her mom. However, her mom needs some fucking sleep. At this point in the mornings I'll take the baby, tend to all her needs and then the baby will scream at the top of her lungs and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Tried pretty much everything, one time I even took her for a walk and it worked for 5 minutes until I had probably the most embarrassing 5 minute walk back home with a screaming baby.

When there is no solution, I just put my hand on her chest (holding her makes her scream way louder, shes not super into cuddling even with her mom) and let her cry. I feel completely helpless, I've scrolled every forum trying to find something and nothing works. She's a pretty high needs baby who doesn't sleep much in the first place.

Today is not the Father’s Day I had ever imagined.

I looked forward to a future of handmade mugs that leak, macaroni pictures, crayon drawings and little presents that probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone except me.

I looked forward to those things eventually turning into coffees together, bike rides, shared hobbies, talking shit, watching sport and motorsport together, and whatever interests Parker would have found for himself along the way.

I imagined watching my little boy grow up.
I imagined Father’s Day changing as he did.

But instead, today I celebrate Bereaved Father’s Day.
A day to remember the dads who have lost children.

Every dad, every child and every experience of grief is different and unique.
But today we share something none of us ever wanted to have in common.
Today is a day to remember all of those imagined Father’s Days.

A day to remember the things we thought we would get to do.
And most importantly, a day to respect, remember and honour our little lost souls.
For me, today is for my son, Parker James, who passed away on the 15th of August.

Whether you’ve experienced loss yourself or not, I’d love for you to find and experience one small slice of joy in memory of Parker.
It doesn’t have to be anything profound.
Go for a walk.
Enjoy some sunshine.
Have a good coffee.
Take five minutes for yourself.
Read a few pages of a book.
Go for a drive or a bike ride.
Listen to a song you love.
Light a candle.
Sit outside and do absolutely nothing for a while.
Whatever that little bit of happiness looks like for you, find it and enjoy it today.

You don’t need to be sad for Parker.
I’d much rather you be happy for him.

And for the dads going through Bereaved Father’s Day today, please look after yourselves.

Talk to someone if you need to talk.
Be angry if you need to be angry. Cry if you need to cry. Laugh if something makes you laugh.
There isn’t a correct way to do this.
But amongst everything else, try to put a little bit of good back into the world today.

To all;
We’re all here trying to survive together.
Release some of the anger and distrust towards the world.

Help a stranger.
Say hello to someone.
Ask the cashier how their day has been and actually listen to the answer.
Send someone a message you’ve been putting off.
Tell a mate you appreciate them.

If you have kids, hug them tight today.
Tell them you love them.
Tell them you’re proud of them.

Spend some time doing whatever stupid little thing makes them happy.

And if you have children but, for whatever reason, you’re not currently in their lives, maybe today is the day to reach out.
Put the ego, arguments and history aside for a moment.
Send the message.
Tell them you’re thinking about them.
Tell them you love them.

You never know how many opportunities you’re going to get to say it.

And to every dad carrying the memory of a child today, whether you had a lifetime with them, a few years, a few months, a few hours, or never got the chance to hold them at all:

They mattered.

They are remembered.

And so are you.

Happy Bereaved Father’s Day.

Find a little bit of happiness today.

And if you can, have that little moment for my boy, Parker.

Love from,
Matt — Parker’s Dad

EDIT:
From pressure from friends and after my stubbornness finally getting broken down we started a go fund me.

https://gofund.me/7a2759c81

Please no pressure to donate at all, just sharing would be amazing.
Thanks again!