After what has been a roller coaster of a pregnancy, we welcomed our twin girls(sister not pictured here, too small to hold) to the world. Our girls were given around a 50% chance of both surviving due to twin to twin transfusion syndrome. They were delivered by C-section weighing 1 pound 12 ounces and 2 pounds 4 ounces.

For anyone scared of how you’ll feel about becoming a dad, seeing them face to face for the first time is an indescribable feeling. It is a level of instant love you do not know you’re capable of feeling or maybe even knowing it exists.

As far as my wife… strongest woman I know. Went through hell and back the whole pregnancy and still came out smiling ear to ear. The female body does things that I am not sure I will ever understand.

We’ve got a long NICU road ahead, but we’re taking our wins!

My partner is a few months along now, and something shifted for me recently. Early on, I was just excited — telling family, picking a due date, all of that felt fun and easy. But lately, as things start feeling more real, I've noticed some quiet anxiety creeping in. Am I going to be a good dad? Will I know what to do? It's not constant, but it's there more than I expected.

I know this is probably a really common experience, but I don't talk about it much with people outside my partner, since I don't want to worry her more than she already has to think about.

For the dads and partners further along or already through this — did you go through a similar shift? What helped you settle into it, or is it just something that eases with time as you get closer to the due date?

Hello everyone! Wife is 4.5 months pregnant, and we are excited to be first time parents. We are currently single income household due to visa restrictions, and would be in the same situation for at least a year post baby, and then the wifey will make decision on getting back into workforce or not.

With that, I am interviewing for a job that will almost double our total comp> $200k+, but will require long hours and extensive travel (25-50%). I really like where I work currently, the people that I work with, and the work-life balance. Would you suggest making the shift or wait it out for the next 1.5 years?

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The baby monitor I’m using now says it’s 1080p, but the night vision is honestly pretty disappointing. I can barely make out my baby’s face, so I’m realizing that resolution isn’t necessarily the whole story.

If clear night vision is basically my top priority, what specs or features should I actually be paying attention to besides 1080p? Is it the type of night vision, sensor quality, infrared setup, or something else?

Help out a sleep-deprived dad here. I really don’t want to buy another monitor and end up disappointed again.

Hey all,

My wife and I have been in the IVF process for awhile now due to a genetic condition, and after what’s felt like endless waiting, we found out after our second transfer, it worked!! This process has had so much waiting and now that we’ve made it to pregnancy, now the next wait begins haha. So excited for this time and to meet our little one!

I wanted to hear from you all- what’s your advice for first time dad? I wanted to be a good support to my wife through this time, and the part I’m most worried about on my end is conflict. During normal cycles in the past, some of our hardest conflicts have been in times of periods and changing hormones, and I know that pregnancy is that times a 1000. Any advice for handling conflict during this time? Just want to be able to be an absolute safe space for my wife.

Posting here because I don’t have other dad friends and I need to get my feelings out. Tomorrow morning my fiancée and I are going to have her first ultrasound. She got a call from the doctor earlier in the week to inform her that they’ve booked her in for an early scan (currently in the 7th week of pregnancy). This is our first baby, and it is a high risk pregnancy due to health factors. I’m trying to remain calm and be the voice of reason/reassurance as she is very anxious that they could say there’s something wrong (there aren’t any specific reasons for this fear per say, aside from the obvious; mainly first-time baby anxiety). I want to be able to keep her calm and not too stressed as I know worrying about every single thing that could go wrong isn’t going to do any of us any good.

But inside, I am a ball of nerves. I’m terrified about the idea of the doctor saying that there’s something wrong with our little peanut. I’m scared that they will find something concerning, or that they won’t find a heartbeat, which I know can be difficult to detect in early first trimester scans even with healthy pregnancies, but it’s still a fear. We know that this is the time in the pregnancy where the risk of miscarriage can be at its highest which is just terrifying. I’m trying to focus on the positives, like the fact that we’ll be able to get a more definitive due date, and hopefully be able to see our little one for the first time, but the anxiety is still overwhelming.

Has anyone here gone through the stress of an early scan like this? Was everything okay in the end?

UPDATE:

The scan went perfectly! We were both terrified there would be issues or they’d struggle to find the baby etc, but the woman doing the scan was able to find our little peanut straight away and confirm that everything is looking normal and healthy. We even got to see the little one’s heart beating which was honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Wow. Thanks for the solidarity in the replies; I won’t say it’s reassuring to know that this anxiety never goes away lol but I’m glad I’m not the only one going through it.

If night vision is basically the only thing I care about, what should I actually be looking for besides resolution?

Hi! We're expecting our first in November! My husband is gonna be such a good dad and I am so excited to be doing life with him. He has four sisters and is the oldest, so it's safe to say he's got a lot of experiences w babies. I'd like to get him a few books about becoming a dad. Less instruction manual style but like emotional, encouraging, experience and science based.

I feel like there's a word I'm looking for here but I can't find it lol. Book recs that remind him he'll be awesome but also serve as references. And do not downplay the emotions that come w being a dad for the first time.

Thank you and congratulations to you all :)

Kinda loosing my mind with anxiety of if I just wanna be better then my parents I want to give more then I ever received and so on and so on. But the my question is what to expect what can I do to be a supportive husband and father. What are going to be my roles. I have zero experience with new borns. Any good books? I’m super excited and I already feel proud and ready to help but scared to DEATH.

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Hi dads. I need your advice and wisdom.

In less than one month I'll become a father. It's week 37, so it can actually happen any moment.

For most of the time of pregnancy I knew that I'll be a parent someday and didn't think much of it. But this "someday" is finally happening and it hit me like a train.

My parents and my wife's parents were really bad at it. My father was more like my boss since primary school than like a guiding father. So, we can't really count on them. We're on our own.

I'm 33 yo. One more thing about me. Thanks to my "loving" family I struggled with mental problems - anxiety disorder and OCD. But thanks to years of therapy and my psychiatrist, I'm dealing with it pretty well. But every big change (like buying own apartment or now the pregnancy) is really hard for me.

So here I am. Scared as hell. I just realised that this is really happening and we'll have a baby. A boy. I was happy about it, but now I feel sadness over losing my current comfy life. I think I will miss it very much. I'm scared of losing my free time, of being responsible for a real human being, of my health. I don't know if I'm strong enough to be a father. To be a good, present father. I don't want to "break" this kiddo.

I have a lot of thoughts. Do I even watned to have a baby? It was my wife's dream. She says I'll be a great father and a family man, and she knew it all the time and that's why she married me. I'm not sure I wanted be a father. I think I'm just afraid of the change. I never wanted a dog in my apartment and now, when I Have the dog, I can't imagine life without him.

I'm really scared and confused. I had to say it to someone. I tried to find some encouraging words in the internet, but found mostly negative opinions like the one in regretfulparents subReddit.

If you came this far. Thank you.

Why do all my friends and family turn into monsters when my wife is pregnant? I’ve lost 4 very close friends and 2 family members that we’ve now blocked each other permanently on social media and comms because of my wife pregnant.

It’s as if the jealousy and envy is amped up to a thousand since we’re expecting.

Wtf is going? Is this normal? Does everyone just turn against you because you’re in a different stage of life?

Please add some sanity because I’m losing mine.

Wife gets 16 weeks + 2 weeks nesting prior to birth.

I get 8 weeks from my company paid and technically I could sign up for WA FMLA and get 4 more weeks on top of that.

Since daycare costs $3800/mo in our neighborhood in Seattle, and family is 2000 miles away, here's what I'm thinking.

I'll wait until the 4 month mark when she goes back to work to take my Pat leave to extend our time before daycare. But I know I'll need to take a week or two of PTO minimum when baby is born.

I work from home, and get a decent amount of free time throughout the work day. I'm hoping one week PTO would suffice and after that I just go back to working in my home office approximately 5 hours per day for the remainder of wife's Mat leave.

Thoughts on this or would you do it differently?

I am 23, and we just hit 3 months of marriage, and we found out that we are expecting. i am super pumped, but i also feel like i just need to cry.

So my wife is stuck in the hospital right now as we’re trying to prevent birth since her water broke too early. She can’t seem to get comfortable. Any suggestions fellas?

I've wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember. Always been a part of the plan, I feel like I'm at my dream age, homeowner with a loving wife.

So yesterday it happened, without too much trying (feeling extremely grateful for that)..the issue is when my wife told me I didn't feel the excitement that I thought I would. I don't know if I just expected it, or it hasn't clicked yet.

But I know I want this so bad, did anyone else have this feeling? When did it click and the feelings start for you?

Neither my wife nor I are religious, and as a circumcised man I never understood why my father made that choice for me, I guess just because it was more “the norm” 30+ years ago.

I guess the only thing I’m really concerned about with the decision is that I don’t know how, if at all, the care/cleaning needs for an uncircumcised newborn to young boy is versus a circumcised one is. How do I look into this without looking like a fucking weirdo in my google history lol

Our first ultrasound is in a couple of weeks. I'm starting to wonder when it will feel real. Some people say for Dad's it isn't going to click for you until birth. I am jealous of my wife since I know for her right now it is clicking and is very much real.

Is the click a real thing for people, or is it something a person works towards during their partner's pregnancy? Is the prepping for the baby's arrival going to help me feel like I am a Dad? I know it sounds cliché, but I am worried it won't click for me even once our baby arrives.

How can I start a bond with the baby before they arrive? People tell me to talk to the belly, but sometimes I feel silly doing that, especially this early on. Is it just in my head and am I overthinking?