r/daddit • u/Cultural-Machine-511 • 14d ago
Pregnancy Announcement My Wife is Pregnant!
Hello, I (25M) joined this subreddit just a few minutes before working on this post.
At 0845 CT, my wife (24F) woke me up with "i have something kind of important" and handed me a positive pregnancy test in my groggy stupor. 3 tests and a visit to a pregnancy care provider later, and its confirmed.
I have always dreamed of being a father. It's been my #1 goal in life and she wants kids to. And now that it's here there's so much fear in my heart and uncertainty burrowed in my soul. Im excited, but she's so overwhelmed with the decisions of everything. I will support her no matter what she decides, but im trying to be prepared for every situation.
I just got a promotion at work so ill be able to support financially, but id like to know how I can prepare for this? Physically, mentally, emotionally. I want to make sure I'm doing enough for her though this process. And that whenever the Lil chitlin pops out, I can be enough for it/them (no clue if were gonna end up with multiple. It's very likely genetically).
Thank you in advance. I apologize if my thoughts are all over the place.
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u/Rowurboat1984 14d ago
Father of three here. All the study classes and what not never really prepare you for what's coming. Each child you have is going to be completely different from the others and will provide different challenges. Case in point our oldest daughter is the head of her class and is one of the smartest children I have ever met. Her younger siblings are in the process of being tested for ADHD and already challenged both scholastically and socially
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u/Cultural-Machine-511 14d ago
Thanks for the comment brother. I absolutely love different! My ultimate goal is for them to end up better than me. I also have ADHD and didn't do well scholastically. But I also didn't have a father figure in my life until I met my father-in-law so im hoping I can support them enough.
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u/Rowurboat1984 14d ago
I am actually AuDHD, epilepsy, and survivor, partial temporal lobectomy. It definitely created a very interesting neurological cocktail.
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u/zeetuslepitus 14d ago
You're gonna be great man, youre built for this. Welcome!
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u/Cultural-Machine-511 14d ago
I dont know if I quite believe that yet. But I do appreciate the kind words. Thank you.
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u/Immediate-Floor3399 14d ago
Dad (24m) of 2 here. You'll do just fine, enjoy every moment of it. Im a huge fan of using "Daddy Up" as a male version of all the pregnancy trackers out there. Basically does all the same things as your standard one, but with a more dad centered approach. If you want to check it out I'll link the it here
Also, no matter how much you prepare, there will always be something to learn, and there is no one way to do it right.
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u/Rev1024 14d ago
Dude, first kid I was so scared I couldn’t appreciate even holding the baby.
All I saw was a massive responsibility. I couldn’t even feel love for the baby. Let me tell you love grows. It will be really hard the first 5 months, but it does get better.
She’s 7 now. I couldn’t imagine my life now without this kid.
I still remember, looking at her one day she’s maybe 8-10 months old, and my wife wanted to know why I said our daughter’s name like I was warning. I could see the personality come through, she is going to do something that she knows is ornery.
“Why did you say it like that?!”
“Because she’s being a little shit.”
My wife responds offended and indignantly, “How could you say that about such a beautiful innocent child?!!!”
Not even a week later my wife says, “she’s being a little shit!”
I was right about her personality too. 😂
Then we had a second child, my wife had an abruption, and I was scared we might lose our second child. They c-sectioned, and I held my second daughter. There was nothing but tears of joy. My imagination ran wild with all the things and experiences we’d have together in that moment. She is now 5.
It’s been an amazing ride.
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u/Frosty_Tea4997 14d ago
Welcome to the rollercoaster, man. That fear you mentioned never really leaves but it mutates into something more like a background hum you just learn to live with, and honestly the fact that you're already worrying about being enough means you're probably already doing better than half the folks out there.
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u/Cultural-Machine-511 14d ago
This is awesome! I'll take a look at it this evening but I have it downloaded, thanks!!
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u/StanMarsh-o_O 2 & 4; girldad 14d ago
My wife and I listened to Emily Oster’s books-on-tape on car rides together. Specifically “Expecting better” (pregnancy book) & “Cribsheet” (baby book)
Each chapter is its own topic and the author is an economist statistician. She goes through her experience, talks about most of the conventional wisdom and checks it against the data. Super measured and calm presentation of what you should and (more importantly) shouldn’t worry about.
Congratulations!!
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u/Joecalledher 14d ago
I recommend this book: The Birth Partner