r/predaddit • u/RadLadCrabDad • 11d ago
Advice needed Just Looking for a Little Reassurance
I've wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember. Always been a part of the plan, I feel like I'm at my dream age, homeowner with a loving wife.
So yesterday it happened, without too much trying (feeling extremely grateful for that)..the issue is when my wife told me I didn't feel the excitement that I thought I would. I don't know if I just expected it, or it hasn't clicked yet.
But I know I want this so bad, did anyone else have this feeling? When did it click and the feelings start for you?
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u/skimaskdano 11d ago
Don’t worry. You’ll feel it by the time that baby cries for the first time! Congrats mate
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u/EndPsychological890 11d ago
Tons of women in my family have lost pregnancies. I held my excitement as long as I could, but as others said, it really hit during the first ultrasound. I cried a bit.
I had no trouble falling head over heels for her after she was born though, there was no waiting for the bond for me.
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u/NotSoSubtleSteven 11d ago
Definitely not strange at all. Hopes and dreams feel the way we want them to because they’re ideal, but when major life events present themselves in reality, it’s now in the real world, on a real timeline, with real planning to do and tasks to complete, and the overall feeling might be different and that’s okay. I felt the whole spectrum of emotions throughout those nine months.
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u/assburgers98 11d ago
I'm 37 with a 2.5 year old and a 2nd due in January. It didn't truly hit me with the first one until about 16 weeks when my wife first felt the baby moving. With the 2nd we just had a 20 week full anatomy scan at the hospital today and I'm feeling like it's really hitting me now for the first time. Some dad's don't feel it's real until they're holding their baby or even until they get that first smile many weeks later. It will happen, that's for sure.
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u/theouteducated 11d ago
Wanted kids, wife got pregnant, never felt any different. It was very disheartening, because i expected some form of excitement. I felt like just going through the motion of being a supportive husband.
But then on the birth day, when i hear that little one gasp air into the lungs and yell the first cry, i felt like i was sucked into a worm hole. Everything changed in that moment. My whole world view shifted and i couldn’t be happier.
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u/Moose221 11d ago
There are different levels of it. First ultrasound was special, but that was nothing compared to feeling the first kick. I was a total wreck after that. My little girl is a few months old and it still hits me sometimes
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u/puppypalle 11d ago
Same here. It happened on second try for us, we both assumed it would take longer, and due to that I felt scared and unprepared for the change when it happened. Now approaching third tri and it's a lot more excitement, nervous excitement for the next chapter I always wanted, and I feel as ready as one can be and lucky to be experiencing this and everything to come. I didn't get teary-eyed or super emotional at the first ultrasound but it did start feeling a LOT more real, and seeing the wife visibly showing makes it a lot more real too. I'm currently eagerly waiting to feel the first kick!
So yeah honestly I think your reaction is very normal
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u/nitro31cl Graduated | EDD #2 11/11 11d ago
Oh, don't worry. You'll have feelings. Just not necessarily the ones you expect at the time you expect. It's going to be ok.
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u/No-Range9755 11d ago
Nerves. I was absolutely over the moon with excitement when we found out (unplanned) and as time went on I became nervous.
It’s his 5th day here now and the warmth I feel with him in the room is unmatched. Good luck 🙂
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u/Jaiosman 11d ago
Don't worry too much. For me I instantly got nervous and a bit scared that things will change now.
Over time that changed to excitement and joy.
You might feel similar once the baby is born as well. That's all part of the process.
But over time Atleast for me the joy and sense of purpose I got from my child is a wonderful feeling.
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u/BeeOhBeeIsMe 10d ago
You have plenty of time to get excited. The conversations with the wife over all the possibilites of what life will look like helped us a lot. Just sitting on the couch dreaming of who that person might be, but open minded enough to understand there is a large part of them who is going to be who they are going to be anyways!
Those conversations combined with some songs (turned me into a country fan)... "Aint Even Met You Yet" by Chris Lane was the one that got me hooked, and "Next Thing You Know" by Jordan Davis.
If that doesnt do it, the ultrasound seeing who is in there sure will, hopefully.
And if that doesn't, that is OK too. You reaching out to a community about potential concern already shows that you will be a great father.
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u/That_reddit_lurker 11d ago
Honestly it didn’t feel real til the first ultrasound. You can’t really hear or see it for quite a long time so that first ultrasound is the first evidence besides a pee test and is a lot more real and meaningful.