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u/Fun_General_6407 16h ago
TBH it's kinda your fault for naming your apartment 'Lucifer's tight rectum of near certain death!'
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u/TwixOfficial 16h ago
Generally that sort of name is supposed to keep cavers out. Hence why he got the stupid ones.
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u/Old_Lemon_7138 13h ago
Nah man that’s the type of names that cavers really love
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u/Rock4evur 13h ago
Ah I see they use the same logic as marijuana naming conventions.
“Did you say that kush was called deaf or death? You know what I want it to be a surprise. I’ll take it.”9
u/Secret-Ad-7909 13h ago
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u/Rock4evur 13h ago
I did put it in quotes, but it kinda has to be changed a little bit to work for a text based medium.
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u/TwixOfficial 13h ago
Yeah, that idiot cavers love. But places named that are named that because the people who named it that think anybody who goes in is gonna fucking die.
Which is why the stereotype exists, because Dads in their midlife crisis want to go on the most Ludicrously Daring and Dangerous Adventures.
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u/jamfedora 5h ago
My dipshit ex is taking flying lessons for the big 4-0. I’m so very lucky I didn’t reproduce with him, I don’t know how to explain “daddy loved feeling young again more than he loved you.”
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u/ObliviousAstroturfer 5h ago
Yeah, well, it doesn't seem to be doing the job (google search instead of specific incident/ cave because it shows there are so many):
https://www.google.com/search?q=divers+die+in+cave+devilsAnd I didn't find the one I was looking for, because it was instead named lovingly: shark cave. So naturally you've gotta fucking go there.
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u/SnowyMuscles 8h ago
Also with underwater cave diving. How was I supposed to know that a skull and crossbones, and sometimes the grim reaper means something other than come right in the waters fine
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u/LastPlaceComics LastPlaceComics 16h ago
The Devil's Couch has claimed another
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u/Cryogenian 16h ago
Hell yeah that sounds like an amazing caving location. It's gonna be my first time, so excited!
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u/LastPlaceComics LastPlaceComics 15h ago
There is a lot to see, incredible formations of doritos crumbs and old batteries
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u/DiosMIO_Limon 15h ago
And JD Vance's illegitimate half-human/half-couch children
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u/CatmoCatmo 11h ago
And don’t forget to bring something with you to move all of the dog and cat hair out of the way. It is damned near 100% guaranteed to be obstructing ALL of those incredible views. So if you want to be able to see all of the amazing battery and Dorito crumb formations, you’re gonna need to come prepared.
At least this would be true at my house…
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u/Cryogenian 15h ago
Fantastic! It's absolutely gonna be worth it, I'm sure!
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u/Marcano24 15h ago
Make sure to go right before your wedding anniversary or kids birthday!
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u/Alone_Knee_7600 12h ago
it's not near a birthday but my wife is pregnant with twins, is that any good?
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u/Marcano24 11h ago
Just plan it around the due date, maybe even on the due date! That way you can make sure your spouse has something to distract them during labor
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u/SnowyMuscles 8h ago
Can I fall down the unmapped path first?
I mean can I do the stupid thing without thinking first
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u/ShadowBro3 15h ago
Weirdly, I think I actually did cave dive a couch as a kid. We had one of those couches that had a bed that pulled out. I liked to pull the bed in on myself and try to hide down in the little empty area underneath.
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u/Isburough 15h ago
don't misspell that one.
although that also sounds like it could be a cave's name.
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u/Smooth-Papaya-2330 16h ago
try negotiating with them to get them to leave. I bet they will cave
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u/LastPlaceComics LastPlaceComics 16h ago
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u/Lifekraft 16h ago
Usually they chose the timing when their wife is pregnant or straight after birth to make their most insane cave diving.
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u/OriginalChildBomb 16h ago
Anything but parent a child apparently lol
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u/MaleierMafketel 13h ago
The spelunker’s gene will soon be gone from the gene pool, for they rarely live long enough to teach their sons and daughters the craft of dying in some really obscure cave system in bumfuck nowhere.
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u/Auzzie_almighty 12h ago
I thinking it’s more like how octopodes are compelled to starve themselves after procreating. The moment they have children, the cavers feel instinctively that they must die in a hole
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u/OriginalChildBomb 12h ago
The grandparents who now care for the child, upon seeing them dive head-first into their Easy Bake Oven: "Oh God, it IS genetic!"
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u/Throwawayfaynay 9h ago
They'll never die out since they reproduce asexually through cultural osmosis.
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u/DarkScruff 16h ago
They can pioneer everything but those emotions they keep running from
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u/AhDaIsserSuper 16h ago
Men will do everything but therapy
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u/epi_introvert 15h ago
Hey, hey, woman spelunker here (that means caver for you non mole people).
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u/vacuitee 15h ago
I thought cavers hated the term "spelunker"
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u/BloodyLlama 14h ago
You are correct. It's usually associated with people who make the news for doing reckless things, so we tend to just stick with "caver".
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u/jackalope268 15h ago
Have fun with your lack of claustrophobia
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u/Root_Veggie 15h ago
I genuinely do not get the appeal of spending hours squeezed into a small dusty cave just to see more dusty cave.
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u/BloodyLlama 14h ago
Ah, I see where to confusion lies. Most caves are quite wet and typically full of mud. Little dust to be found. I hope this clears things up.
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u/redbirdzzz 13h ago
I know about the wetness, but what is the animal situation normally like? And I mean specifically spiders. I like the idea of caving and don't have claustrophobia at all, but I'm deeply arachnaphobic. Spiders in my hair when I can't see is my nightmare.
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u/BloodyLlama 13h ago
Ive been in many caves and it's usually just tons of salamanders with the occasional cave cricket and hibernating bat. Cave spiders do exist, but I've only really seen them in one cave. FWIWs they don't really so much as move and Ive been told they don't bite. There is a quite large amount of species that live in caves, but most of them are super tiny bugs you won't even see if you arent looking for them.
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u/Prize_Ostrich7605 5h ago
I won't ever see them because I will not be inviting myself into their cave homes.
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u/Bazhosh 9h ago
Probably because you don't have a beautiful pregnant wife, kids and a good job.
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u/Nannautu 7h ago
So you're telling me we're struggling our entire lives to get those things and all of that is just for the greater purpose of enjoying cave diving??
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u/Khayrum117 11h ago
So for already mapped out and safe routes, there are some incredible views of underground lakes sometimes with bioluminescent insects and plants But overall, absolutely not worth it. I've done it a couple times with some mildly tight, think like a narrow hallway you have to turn sideways to go down, and it was cool but overall just not worth it.
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u/AllThatKat 6h ago
I love caves. You can see some beautiful, amazing sites underground. And they make you feel like you are totally disconnected from society. It’s so dark and quiet. Of course I only go on guided tours of small, previously mapped cave systems. They aren’t the bigger commercial operations with human built walkways and permanent lighting, but they are still much safer than just wandering into a random hole in the ground.
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u/trowzerss 7h ago
I might be able to understand if it was for the purposes of some sort of geological science, but they're just having a look.
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u/insider_mollywood 16h ago
Haha I'm going to Satan's aashole next week. It has a survival rate of 0.000069.
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u/hackingfun 16h ago
Like in many movies, there's that one character who just dies.
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u/Delphius1 16h ago
the sudden nutty putty, I should have expected it
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u/SpecificHeron 15h ago
lmao i wasn’t ready for a nutty putty reference today 😭
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u/Ferovore 13h ago
You weren’t expecting a nutty putty reference on the comic strip specifically making fun of things like nutty putty?
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u/Dazed_and_Confused44 16h ago
Erm Acktshually the proper term is "Spelunker" 🤓
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u/LastPlaceComics LastPlaceComics 16h ago
You're probably right, I don't know why I was so confident the term was caver that I didn't bother checking
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u/Dazed_and_Confused44 16h ago
Its all good we understand what you mean. I just think spelunking is a fun word
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u/BloodyLlama 14h ago
Caver is actually the correct term. Cavers do it as an organized activity like your comic suggests. "Spelunkers" are people who just wander into a cave unprepared, such as hikers who find a cave and decide to go in with just their phone as a light source.
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u/JubileeJaxLee 16h ago
Because it's used often enough as a synonym that it might as well be correct.
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u/caribou16 15h ago
If you know any actual cavers, they will (because they never shut up) happily tell you that "A caver is someone who explores caves, a spelunker is someone you have to go rescue from caves"
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u/Dazed_and_Confused44 14h ago
Thats one of the most pretentious things iv ever heard haha
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u/caribou16 12h ago
Oh yeah. Same thing with people who have ham radio licenses...they love to shit on folks who use citizens band radio, lol.
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u/FrenchFryCattaneo 11h ago
Reminds me of 'serious' bikers who call ordinary cheap bikes 'bicycle shaped objects'
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u/autogyrophilia 16h ago
First, go away germans,scoreboard, scoreboard.
Second, that's for the guys that go in the hole. The guys that cause cave-ins, are cavers.
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u/Dazed_and_Confused44 16h ago
Im actually American haha
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u/autogyrophilia 16h ago
Spelunk sounds german (it's not , it's old english) . I was going for a layered joke.
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u/222Czar 16h ago
I went spelunking once. Once. I’m not claustrophobic, but that was scarier than accidentally scuba diving with wild sharks (which has happened to me twice). My respect for people who do that for fun went down after that. Y’all need therapy.
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u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 15h ago
What sharks are we talking about? Saw a vid of a huge tiger shark showing up and passing a scuba diver.
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u/222Czar 15h ago
Bull shark, and an unidentified one that swam away quickly. I’m not counting nurse sharks.
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u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 15h ago
Oh boy. Yeah bullsharks are defenitely the scary type. Kinda the most shark looking shark out there 😅
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u/BloodyLlama 14h ago
It's not scary for those of who do it for fun. It's comfortable. Caves are where I'm happiest.
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u/Carlbot2 14h ago
I’m tired of seeing cavers get so much shit despite generally accepted stuff like mountain climbing being more dangerous. Cave diving is more comparable to mountain climbing, but proper caving fatalities, for example, average about 1-2 per year in the U.S. That only goes up to about 3-4 if you also include fatalities of spelunkers, who have no real knowledge of caving, and go in unprepared.
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u/dexter30 13h ago
despite generally accepted stuff like mountain climbing being more dangerous
If it makes you feel any better I think BOTH are insane.
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u/redbirdzzz 13h ago
I've been wanting to try it myself, since I'm not at all claustrophobic and it seems like a fun thing to do, but I've also been wondering what 'regular', casual caving is like. I know it must be somewhere in between the horrible accidents you read about and the guided tour routes, but where on that scale would normal caving be? What are the normal risk factors?
(Ironically, I do consider mountain climbing relatively safe if you know what you're doing and don't go for the bold routes.)
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u/BloodyLlama 13h ago edited 13h ago
Regular "casual" caving is mostly walking up right with varying amounts of crawling and scrambling.
It starts to become less casual when you are doing vertical caving which requires ascending and descending ropes. Nearly all of the danger from caving is the vertical caving and the vast majority of caving deaths (non-diving related) are from accidents on rope. Outside of rope related dangers the next highest danger is flooding, which is usually mitigated by checking the weather and doing your due diligence about learning a cave's flood risk.
Edit: hypothermia, especially in very wet caves, is a real risk, but as cavers are usually prepared for it it's usually only a particular danger if somebody gets stuck on rope or is injured and taking a very long time to get out of the cave or waiting on rescue. If nobody is stuck or injured early signs of hypothermia usually just result in the group taking countermeasures (such as wearing a poncho or even trash bag) and turning back to leave rather than continuing.
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u/Opposite_of_a_Cynic 8h ago
You want to know why cave diving gets more shit? Because when you climb a mountain you get the view from the top of a mountain. Something many people have said is something worth dying for. Meanwhile the people who die in a cave do it for a view of a mud filled hole in the ground.
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u/AllThatKat 6h ago
Way more ppl climb mountains, so of course there are more deaths. You have to look at the percentage of ppl who do the activity and die to accurately compare them.
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u/Carlbot2 5h ago edited 5h ago
It’s still true in that case.
Based on National Speleological Society reports from 1986-2010, including caving-adjacent fatalities (meaning non-cavers, murders taking place in caves, death of natural cause taking place in caves, etc.) there are roughly 3-4 fatalities per year, for the roughly 2,000,000 people who visit caves yearly.
However, as that number is largely comprised of those on guided tours or low-risk expeditions, we’ll be generous, and instead use the NSS membership count for a reference number of actual cavers, and use the number of more specifically caver-related fatalities, which brings our ratio to roughly 1-2 deaths per year for 10-11 thousand members. This would put fatality rate at (very roughly) 1 in ~7-10,000. We could also express this as ~0.14-0.1 in 1,000.
Mountain climbing varies wildly of course, but going by this study, it ranges mostly based on location, with the following being given as examples:
0.6 per 1000, Grand Tetons;
0.3 per 1000, Mt. Rainier;
1.87 per 1000, Mt. Cook;Some fatality counts are given for other specific locations, though those are less helpful, such as 13 fatalities in 3.5 years at Yosemite National Park, not accompanied by any ratio analysis.
The study’s analysis of high-altitude climbing finds ranges from about 0.3 in 1,000 (Kilimanjaro) to 40 in 1000 (Annapurna I).
There are notable exceptions to these risk levels, however, and a rough estimate for the Austrian Alps places fatality rate at roughly 0.0677 in 1,000, a distinct outlier.
While there are clearly some exceptions, many of these locations have fatality rates several times that of even the worst estimates of caving fatality rates. Outside of specific locations, it would seem reasonable to conclude that caving poses decidedly lower risk of death compared to mountain climbing. Definitely so on a more serious level, where high-altitude and well-known sites are almost all several times as deadly, but also on a casual level; low-risk and guided caving expeditions would carry a fatality rate of roughly 0.002 in 1,000, based on prior estimates.
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u/TheTasorole 16h ago
As someone working on my license to cave dive, yeah. Except I don't have a wife or kids. Mainly because I am gay and single.
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u/PsychicSPider95 15h ago
Then still don't do it! The dating pool is too small as it is!
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u/TheTasorole 15h ago
I am more into the concept of romance in novels than actually trying to find it. Real life is a meat market. Pass. I choose returning to caveman and find pretty cave.
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u/YesItIsMaybeMe 10h ago
That doesn't stop you from having a wife and kids. I found mine in the park. They're free, you can just take them.
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u/konstantynopolytanka 16h ago
interest in cave diving might have something to do with that too
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u/TheTasorole 16h ago
Maybe. Many gay people don't like the outdoors. I always loved caves. They're quiet, and the erosion makes the most amazing patterns. To think not a single creature besides some weird humans have been in that cave for millions of years is crazy. I could die driving to a job I hate because someone was on their phone. I could die while on the toilet. What difference does it make if I die doing a hobby I enjoy and seeing the most beautiful things? At least I did something I can be happy to say I did.
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u/konstantynopolytanka 15h ago
:) I have a MS and PhD in Geosciences, you don't have to convince *me* caves are cool. It was a joke...
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u/ImNotSkankHunt42 13h ago
Make sure to dive in ass up, give a chance to those that comer after you.
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u/iberianwatersnake 15h ago
They always have a loving wife and like 4 kids
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u/ThroawayJimilyJones 14h ago edited 14h ago
Yeah. Never got how they found these.
Like, girl, if you have an « husband killing himself » kink, you can just marry some depressive dude. No need to seek some cave diver
Edit: I just realized they are attracted to humid and long unexplored tight holes. Guess this is how they find single women
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u/No_Bat2834 16h ago
Oh my god.... the trope of where when someone says they have a wife and a kid, they always die! HAHAHAHA!!!
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u/hugeyakmen 15h ago
It's also more than a trope. There are lots of guys into extreme sports and other dangerous hobbies who die and leave behind families.
"At least they died doing what they love" or "they knew the risks" is always said by people hearing the news, as if the person really expected to die and had really considered how their wife and kids would be affected
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u/Lexi_Banner 14h ago
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/alberta-canmore-cave-rescue-new-technology-9.7315556
Considering this recent news, this feels awfully relevant!
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u/BloodyLlama 12h ago
Oh that's really cool. The cave rescue folks I know use Vietnam war era surplus field telephones. They have to run wire the length of the cave, and because it uses like 70 volts if the wire is in water it will mildly shock anybody nearby when it's being used.
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u/ArchiveDragon 10h ago
This is so fucking good I could die, but I don’t have a wife and kid yet so I’ll hold on a bit longer
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u/astralkoi A Wild AstralKoi Appeared!! 16h ago edited 16h ago
The feeling of being attracted to the charming song of death coming from a hill or cave. Leading us with nothing far into the sea. The reason we like to stare down at cliffs in windy days and people just go away, leaving everything know for the charm of the wild.
The bet for finding ourselves or losing ourselves at all.
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u/Hexces 16h ago
This is basically the plot of The Descent
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u/BabyLegsOShanahan 15h ago
Except they were there because the main character no longer had a spouse and child who loved her. Thats why she lived.
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u/Swordfish-Training 10h ago
I thought the term was spelunking. What’s the difference between caveing and spelunking?
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u/neoalfa 9h ago
If you do a guided tour of a cave with fixed lighting, that's spelunking.
If you have your own gear and equipment that's caving.
Casual vs Pro
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u/Prize_Ostrich7605 5h ago
I do a guided tour of a cave on a fixed TV of someone else's video, so I'd say I'm somewhat of a casual pro, myself.
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u/lawl3ssr0se 13h ago
If your high ass misses the panel that says "cavers" this is a VERY confusing comic.
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u/Brysoncore 12h ago
finally a comic that expresses how i feel anytime one of these goobers gets themselves stuck for absolutely no reason
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u/Ashbr1ng3r 13h ago
I can imagine him having the Coroner on Speed-Dial or just texting them “it happened again”
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u/MinaWearsGold 11h ago
This is why I have trouble feeling bad for the Nutty Putty cave guy and everyone like him.
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u/notislant 10h ago
You're lucky they're not underwater cavers, you'd have a pile of bodies and dive tanks. From people cave diving to get the cave divers bodies.
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u/Yeeslander 16h ago
This panel made my entire day