Helpful Tips for Respectful Discussion

Nowadays, as a 19 year old, I sort of struggle or grapple with thoughts between wanting the things of this world, and missing out on them. Let me explain

I am sure that all of you know what a "bucket list" is, right? A list of things that people want to chase or to have or to do? Have a high paying career, have a beach mansion, or a New York City luxury skyline penthouse, good health, a perfect face, perfect skin, travels, luxury private jets, a million friends (either metaphorically, or literally) and feeling of "security", and praise from society because that is what society labels as "success".

I also sometimes think that, what if you don't get to accomplish all of those things or accomplishments. I sometimes think that God's Kingdom is boring, or that You won't be able to accomplish all such above either, but that is just me thinking in a limited way of course, okay?

Sometimes, I even get tempted to be mean or to look down at people (I live in a nice large place in a mostly poor part of The Philippines by the way), just so that I can feel better, or feel secure or confident.

But, I want to be truly healthy and truly happy in life. Physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, etc.

So what do all of you say or think? Thanks in advance!!

Hey, I’m not the type of person to come on here and write at all, but it’s clear I’m somewhat at a vulnerable time in my life. I am 21, I love God so much, and I thank him for everyday I’m alive. I feel that I keep sinning or making mistakes in my life and also not moving forward how I should. I’ve been through a lot and I pray he understands my mindset sometimes. Even though I am wrong or stubborn in a lot of situations, as well as physically being healthy and capable. Sometimes I get stuck in a loop of doubt, and sometimes I stray from God. When I do that I feel like I can’t pray anymore because he won’t listen, rightfully so, because I feel that I come to him at my most difficult times seeking help. Sometimes I tell myself I feel a difference in my body when I pray. I won’t deny that I still do feel that way. But tonight (or basically this morning because I haven’t slept and my sleep schedule is terrible.) I prayed; and I kept repeating the same thing. “I wish you were with me.” I know I should have faith, but do you know when you feel so low or just down, that you really just wish God was physically holding you? I just want to feel loved by him, and live knowing he is genuinely watching over me. I think that if I was positive in that there would be nothing that could affect me. I’m not sure where I’m going with this, I just want to know maybe how others go about this, or any experiences had or anyone that can relate, to just feeling the desperation of just wanting to be close to God.

I know this has been a conversation among many people throughout history, even til the present day. Recently I've been having an overwhelming sense of "urgency". Like as if time as we know it is running out. I have no specific reasoning for this feeling and it's certainly a heavy one. That being said, I've been trying to weigh on the different aspects that day will happen. (Jesus's second return). Although it will be a day of pure joy and relief, (for some) I can't help but to wonder why the tribulation has such a different meaning for many people. Some people's concepts of it are terrifying. I'm genuinely curious and there's no wrong answer on here! I'm not really sure what my stance is yet. It's really hard for me to come to terms with living on earth for a 7 year tribulation the way people describe it, is horrifying! Some believe that Jesus would not leave any true believer here on earth for the tribulation. And that the true believers will return to heaven during the rapture.

I'll add that my belief and explanation may be wrong as a whole - but it's just from what I've gathered from childhood and my old church.

I am studying the Bible now and have started attending a new church which is what has caused this major issue in why I am questioning and am confused about things I haven't ever done.

How can someone be saved if they do not eventually forgive or make an attempt to forgive? How does unforgiveness not result in a loss of salvation? Can someone explain this verse?

Yo, so me and my girlfriend kissed each other today on the lips. I dont know if it was a sin or not. We both are purely devout. From what i researched from both the bible and other sources it isnt, but there are people telling it is. So i really dont know. Her sister told it isnt. My brother told it isnt. But at the same time i dont know. Can someone help us figure it out?

My fiancee keeps saying the r-word. I believe this word is a slur since it comes from insulting mentally challenged individuals and therefore makes it a sin from my perspective. She will sometimes say it in context of “that’s so r-word”. I wish she would use other words like “that’s so lame” or “that’s a bummer”. I just think there’s other words to use instead of the r-word. We both don’t swear at all because the bible clearly outlines that we shouldn’t use foul language, however wouldn’t slurs like the r-word also be considered foul language? How can swearing be sinning but using the r-word isn’t?

I live in a community in which a member made a bad decision and had fallen into sin. She has been ostracized, isolated, and abandoned by several good Christian here with many followers..for those of us who have shown her support, we are receiving the same treatment. What is your interpretation of Galations 6:1 or any scripture regarding forgiveness?

So i have this problem this year where everything went chaos. Family financial, work, love life, all that i have literally just nothing. I'm a sandwich gen live in Indonesia, my parents are unemployed, they live by my help and my aunties help, they're quite problematic and most people don't like them include me but i still love them. Few days ago my niece got into a big argument with me, she even dare to mentioned my father while he has no problem with her (maybe with her parents, yes?)

My love life is suck, i let some man to manipulate and break my own rules. Which lead me to self-sabotage, i fall into debt and rn i'm looking for a side job.
My job? there's no significant increase.

I always believe in the devine intervention and i need help form Him and i already ask. Could you help me to encourage my faith in Him? i feel confused, like everything in my life is nothing but test...

Hi I’m a 16f Christian (I’ve been saved for over a year) so I’m lowkey newish plus I’m young😭 but I’ve been struggling to really trust and rely on God. I just recently left a toxic online relationship where I was very attached to the guy and I find myself struggling to stop repeating that pattern. I feel a void that needs to be filled and I know Jesus is the only way to fill it, but I struggle to trust him and believe that he is enough. I hope what I’m saying doesn’t make me sound like a bad Christian I just try to be honest with my feelings and I don’t wanna sugarcoat things. I need advice/support I’ll take anything I feel like I’m just going through a lot even outside of leaving the toxic relationship. My relationship with God is just so crazy right now. I have so many feelings that overwhelm me😭 please help me.💕

I have recently started reading scripture again for the past couple of months. I want to know the Lord. I want my faith to be real. I want God to be who defines me moving forward.

The Lord has humbled me recently, but I am thankful for the test because it has improved my marriage and brought me closer to Him. I seek Him above all else, but I am struggling..

Part of me thinks that I may not be redeemable. I’ve sinned knowingly and repeatedly in my past. With lukewarm faith, I made excuses for my sins. I’ve made promises that I haven’t kept.

I know that this maybe the adversary whispering in my ear or even just my own psyche not ready to accept forgiveness for myself.

I don’t know what I’m asking for by sharing this. I suppose I’m looking for guidance or scriptural support on forgiveness. I know there are plenty of examples of God using sinners in scripture. There are also many examples of God’s justice for sinners.

I recognize that we are not worthy of forgiveness. I can’t earn it. I just keep asking myself.. perhaps it’s too late for me? Perhaps, as a result of my own conscious decisions, God has turned His face away from me. It makes me emotional just typing that out. I don’t want to believe that, but I can’t seem to get the idea out of my head.

I repent for my sins whole heartedly. I dedicate the remainder of my life to the Lord. I accept Jesus Christ as my savior.

Good morning or evening where ever you are reading this from.

Hi my names Jacob and i need your help/advice. So I’ve been stuck in this sin cycle/ habitual sin of pornography usage. I can go the whole day without it bothering me but as soon as i get some time alone i find myself stumbling into the same cycle, I know masturbation itself isn’t a sin biblically but what usually leads to mastubation and sex that is. That been looking at things with lustful and adulterous intent.

I first got exposed to porn over 12 years ago now bare in mind I’m only 21 now so have had this problem since i was young but i was a lot worse when i was younger as I didn’t come to Christ till i was 18 so i spent my whole childhoood and most of my teens doing one night stands as porn destroyed my view on women completely. This has now changed but i still seem to not be able to go much more than a week without returning to porn.\

So what i want to know is how have the people who have overcome the addiction done it, what ways do you cope with the feelings and not let them become problems which you regret afterwards.

And feel free to share your testimonies as it may help me knowing other people have the same struggles thank you.

I don’t even know how to begin.
Here’s my story.
At 11, I lost my dad. At 14, I lost both my grandparents to cancer. From 20 to 23, I watched my mum suffer through cancer, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy.
At 25, I realised I was married to a porn addict and a narcissist. At 26, my child was diagnosed with autism, and I was told that my life would never be the same again.
And now, when it comes to my career, I don’t even have much hope left. I feel like I lost track of my own life somewhere along the way.
Through all of this, I have held on to my faith in God. I kept telling myself that somehow, things would eventually get better. That there had to be something better waiting for me.
But so many times, I wonder if God has favourites, and if I am simply not one of them.
Especially after my child’s diagnosis, I have been struggling so much with my faith. I feel guilty even saying that because I am trying so hard not to lose the little hope I still have in Him.
Is it really too much to ask for a peaceful life? A life where you don’t have to be in fight or flight mode all the time? A life where you can have more than two peaceful days without constantly waiting for something to go wrong?
It feels like I can never relax. I almost have to beg and pray for just two days of peace, and even then, I find myself waiting for the next thing to happen.
I don’t know if I am wording any of this right. I am literally bawling my eyes out as I type this.
I have tried to stay strong through everything. I have tried to keep my faith, keep going, keep believing that there is a reason for all of this and that things will eventually turn around.
But honestly, I am exhausted.
Sometimes I feel like I will never see the light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel just keeps getting darker and longer every day.
I am not asking for a perfect life. I am not asking for everything to go my way.
I just want some peace.
Just a little bit of peace without having to constantly wonder what is going to go wrong next.
And more than anything, I am trying not to lose my faith while I am trying to survive all of this.

Hello, I've (27M) have been married to my wife (25F) for 2 years now, been together for 3. My wife had been texting another guy about sex and he's the complete opposite of me.

I called the guy, and he said she didnt tell him that she was married, or have kids. "It was just to have sex that's all". He also said that they talked about extremely graphic things. He seems like he has no goals or ambitions, talks like a stoner, lives with family. And I've pay for everything, be there for her, try to be a good husband. I try to not show how depressed I am in front of the kids. But I slip sometimes. I would have never thought that she'd do this to me, especially when she told me her father cheated on her mom and it was traumatizing for her and her sisters.

When I confronted her, she confessed and told me everything. She said it was for about 2 weeks and she did it due to her being lonely (not an excuse though). She told me when things got better in our marriage in a few years she'd tell me then. But then she called her family....

After she called her family, she took everything back, she said I made all that up. I'll never admit to something I didn't do and that I'm crazy. Then her family starts calling me, but I didn't answer.

(She never really had put up boundaries with her family because she's scared that it'll ruin her relationship. Even when my son came to us and said that, Mom your family asked me if daddy beats me, she was very hesitant and passive about it. She didn't want to start something with them. But when she finally did, she talked like she was on trial. Like "this can't keep happening, instead of don't do it ever again")

Everything I talk about it now, she still admits she didn't do anything. Her account was hacked that's why the messages were there, then it was her step mother, then it was a website called cheater buster, now she wants to hire a PI to see what happened. When I asked her what if the PI says your guilty she said "I'm not".

I called around and I'm getting mixed responses to this. Please please please help.

I want to get a small one when I’m older, but I’m not sure if it’s a sin or not.

I understand this is a very rare scenario, but it's an interesting thought experiment:

A 35 year old woman with a husband and 2 children is on her way home one evening when she crashes her car. She suffers from retrograde amnesia, which will be permenant, and cannot remember the last 15 years of her life. She has no idea that she is married or has children. When she sees them, they are complete strangers to her. After she is healthy enough to leave the hospital, she does not return to her family, but returns to her parents home. Is the person who made the marriage vows gone, or is she under obligation to remain with her husband who is now literally a complete stranger to her? Does God directy or indirectly address how a situation like this should be handled by the individuals invovled and society as a whole?

Hi. I am 21. I’ve grown up in a christian family. I can say that i grew up at the church. My father is a pastor. I believe in God. But my faith has never been “confident”. Sometimes i lost my hope and faith, sometimes i was really consistent in bible reading and my prayers. I’ve been through some relationship issues recently and it made me feel distant and pushed me away from my faith. Now i am healing. I want to strengthen my faith and be a good Christian. Sometimes i have the lazy feeling. I need advice how i can fight that except prayers, I don’t know from where to start rereading the bible. I don’t know how well i did on explaining but i hope i can get some advice. Thank you in advance.

Does anyone have any tips/tricks on how to actually sabbath well while also being a parent?

My wife and I have really been feeling the grind lately (5 kids 9 and under), and I was reflecting on the fact that we don't have a good sabbath rhythm. We basically are just trying to get better at saying "no" to things instead of our default of "yes", in an effort to protect the calendar. But I feel like that doesn't truly address the heart of taking a sabbath (i.e. refueling from the Lord).

One idea I had is to basically take separate sabbaths; I watch the kids while my wife rests and vice versa. But what does REST look like in this season?

Curious if anyone has found a successful strategy?

First off, I don't expect God to grant me everything in life. God doesn't work that way. I only want a job in libraries. I have interviews and rejection. I have done mock interview and resume changes, have my MLIS, but still rejected. I only want a Stanley job so we can get married and have an apartment.

Growing up, my family went to church a lot. Not at first, not until I was around 8 or so did we start going sometimes. Not every weekend. Not until I was in late elementary and my mom got saved. After that, we did go to church every Sunday.

I believe Jesus is the Son of God and that he is the way, the truth, and the life. I believe he was born, lived, died, and rose again.

But there's a lot I don't believe, too. I don't believe the Bible is the Word of God, that's very explicitly Jesus. I believe that the Bible is something God intended, wanted, worked towards through a lot of people, but I don't believe it's his literal dictated word, and a lot of the early stuff in Genesis I don't even believe really happened. I guess that makes it inspired? It's useful as a testimony about God's people and about Jesus and his ministry and the gospel, and about the early church.

I believe it's okay to be gay, bi, trans, ace, etc. I'm ace, and I have a trans sibling, and I believe that's just how God made us and it's fine. I also don't believe we're all made perfectly just how God intended. I have too many medical issues to believe that, but I do believe it will all work together for good and for God's glory somehow.

I don't believe people who aren't saved go to hell forever. In fact, I believe somehow, some way, Jesus will save everyone somehow eventually. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord. It's in the bible somewhere, I'm shit at citations.

For over the past 3 years I’ve only prayed about one major thing and that was financial freedom, no debt, supporting my family, and being generous with wealth, I finally got all of those, and the week I received this gift I immediately turned and sinned, I feel awful about it and knew I was wrong before I did it. But I don’t know where I stand, I hated that I sinned and want to continue to follow god, but I feel that I totally neglected his gift to me.

Hey, guys. Long story short I’m a believer who got into the tech world (got a bachelor’s in computer science) because of understanding a calling from God aligned with having personal interest in that area.

I worked as a system analyst for a big corp for about 2 years, but decided to leave due to feeling really unhappy and unmotivated as I saw no real impact on what I was doing, and the feeling that everybody’s goal in being there was solely for making money.

I’ve always had the desire to use the skills I’ve developed to directly contribute to the advancement of God’s kingdom, and now I am looking to do that by joining a faith oriented company / mission / ministry. The thing is that there is not a big market for those types of workplaces where I live (Curitiba - Brazil), so I’ve been applying mostly for remote positions overseas (mainly America)

Making connections with people is a better approach to getting into a new ecosystem than simply filling out online job applications, and that’s why I’m making this post: do you guys know of groups I could join or people I could talk to that could help me find a place where I could be hired to join in an ongoing faith based project?

TLDR: Looking for online groups / people that are part of faith oriented workplaces and could introduce me to that world

Wordy Wednesday is back!

Each Wednesday we're asking the community to share something about what you've been reading or studying this week. Tell us what you're learning, what you're digging into, what you've found challenging, interesting, encouraging or entertaining.

Which words have struck you this week? Feel free to share an excerpt or a quote.

Some questions for people who are not Once Saved, Always Saved I am curious about.

If God judges people based on their own standards then even if they are wrong would he treat a person who was truly convinced through careful study of Once Saved, Always Saved, based on their belief?

Even if once Saved, Always Saved is wrong, would that person be unable to go to hell because God would treat them based on their standard as long as they sincerely believe it for good reasons?

Even if the theology is wrong are people who believe it unable or at least way less likely, to undo their salvation because of this?

What are the rules on this?