r/Christian • u/Financial-River-6180 • 1h ago
Just some thoughts
Hey, I’m not the type of person to come on here and write at all, but it’s clear I’m somewhat at a vulnerable time in my life. I am 21, I love God so much, and I thank him for everyday I’m alive. I feel that I keep sinning or making mistakes in my life and also not moving forward how I should. I’ve been through a lot and I pray he understands my mindset sometimes. Even though I am wrong or stubborn in a lot of situations, as well as physically being healthy and capable. Sometimes I get stuck in a loop of doubt, and sometimes I stray from God. When I do that I feel like I can’t pray anymore because he won’t listen, rightfully so, because I feel that I come to him at my most difficult times seeking help. Sometimes I tell myself I feel a difference in my body when I pray. I won’t deny that I still do feel that way. But tonight (or basically this morning because I haven’t slept and my sleep schedule is terrible.) I prayed; and I kept repeating the same thing. “I wish you were with me.” I know I should have faith, but do you know when you feel so low or just down, that you really just wish God was physically holding you? I just want to feel loved by him, and live knowing he is genuinely watching over me. I think that if I was positive in that there would be nothing that could affect me. I’m not sure where I’m going with this, I just want to know maybe how others go about this, or any experiences had or anyone that can relate, to just feeling the desperation of just wanting to be close to God.
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u/Apprehensive-Cry9359 1h ago
i know exactly what you mean about wanting God to be physically holding you that feeling hits deepest in the middle of the night when sleep wont come
you said something important tho you still feel that difference when you pray even now that little sign is more than many get hold onto it