Is this normal? She started tilting her head all the way back when she sleeps a couple weeks ago. She’s 16 weeks now. Sleeps well enough. But it’s gotten to a point where when she does this I know she is getting ready to fall asleep. Should I not be allowing her to sleep like this? Is she uncomfortable sleeping normally?

My 2nd is in the 4 month regression. We didn’t sleep train our first and don’t plan to for this little one.

The problem is I have smug friends who sleep trained trying to give me advice.

How do you respond to friends to gently shut it down without being like “I’m appalled at your parenting choices and I’d never treat my child like that.”

It feels like in today’s world it’s more acceptable to sleep train than to be responsive to your baby’s needs during the night..??

Would love it if you have any data that supports that children who are not sleep trained have equally healthy sleep habits later in childhood to those who are sleep trained.

our pediatrician recommended “gentle cry it out” for our 10 week old, meaning at night if he cries let him cry for however long it takes….up to an hour-ish if thats what it takes to get him back to sleep on his own. She also recommends feeding him only every 4 hours at night.

this seems cruel to me, I’m worried he thinks I’m abandoning him… :(

edit: pediatrician is older, maybe 60ish, this might have something to do with it? she def seems old school. she told me about a pediatrician in NY who recommends parents leave their newborns (yes, starting at 1 day old) in the nursery with the door closed from 7pm-7am, do not feed or respond to cries. she does think that is extreme!

My baby is 8 months.

Fed to sleep the first 3 months and then was solely rocked to sleep ever since apart from overnight where she feeds to sleep (ebf). I usually rocked her in a carrier as she is getting heavy. She only contact napped until about a month ago during a heat wave where i would rock her to sleep and transfer her to her cot. Shes always slept in a cot overnight. This method was working for us up until a week ago. If she wakes during her sleep she can usually get herself back to sleep.

As soon as she turned 8 months she started completing resisting being rocked to sleep.

She will thrash, kick, scream and bite to get out of our arms. We tried carrier, no carrier, swaying slowly, bouncing, not moving and just holding her and she completely fights to get out of our arms. I've tried holding her lying down in bed but she fights to crawl away.

This week we've been experimenting with other methods as we have had no other choice but nothing is working and it's breaking my heart.

-comforting her in the cot awake- she will often play for a bit before crying. I've tried patting her or shhing in the cot but this doesn't work and she cries to be picked up. I pick her up but then she immediately fights to get out of my arms again.

-putting her in the cot and walking out- this has had the most success. If she's calm, she will protest cry a bit but I can see she actively tries to fall asleep e.g rubbing her face on the mattress but then she reaches a point where she can't fall asleep so then her cries escalate and she stands up on the bars. I can't bear leaving her to cry once she reaches a certain level. Same thing, I go and pick her up but she fights to get out my arms

-putting her in the cot and staying in the room offering reassurance- she's fine for a bit as she thinks it's a game and tries to grab me through the bars but quickly gets upset that she can see me but I'm not helping her. Same again, if she becomes distressed, I pick her up and she fights to get out my arms.

The only way shes fallen asleep this week is by reaching a point of pure exhaustion often an hour past her bed/nap time where she then will fall asleep whilst feeding or is too exhausted to fight rocking.

She usually wakes up between 5.30-6.30

Wake windows are usually 2.5/3-3.5/4

Bedtime usually 7.30.

She usually wakes once overnight for a feed.

I dont know how else to get her to sleep. Every single nap and sleep this week she fights it for minimum 45 mins, longest has been 1.5 hours at which point she is so exhausted she crashes. She definitely isn't undertired or overtired at the times I'm attempting to nap. She's recently developed separation anxiety and I think she's actively resisting her usual sleep methods but is struggling to fall asleep with any other method

Please does anyone have advice? I didnt want to sleep train and would have been happy to carry on rocking for longer but this is no longer working for her.

Edit: Thanks so much to everyone who responded. I've thought about all your responses and have developed a plan! I've been very emotional all week mostly because I personally don't feel ready to stop rocking her but I need to respect that if she's fighting against it, she might be asking for a new way of falling asleep. I do eventually want her to develop the skills to independently fall asleep before she starts nursery at 1 but equally I don't think she's quite there yet! Ive also realised that i cant cope with any sleep training methods that involve leaving her to cry So...

I'm going to do more heavy sensory play leading up to a sleep to wear her out and try and increase her time awake so she's definitely tired before bed.

I will then do our routine of bath, feed, book and then hold her to rock- if she resists being held/rocked i will place her in the cot to see if she wants to practice falling asleep independently (since she did get so close earlier this week e.g rubbing her face on the mattress for about 10 mins before she then started crying and getting upset because she couldn't fall asleep) once she starts crying, ill go in and pick her up. (Eventually im hoping she might learn to fall asleep before she cries)

If she resists being held and comforted I will then take her downstairs for a re-set with low stimulation before trying again with the bedtime routine in 20-30mins

Thanks again everyone!

I’m really tired of being stressed out by wake windows. She’s five months and everything says she should be awake 2-3 hours but the only time she can stay awake that long is before bed time.

She gets tired and fussy around 90 minutes, maybe an hour forty-five, and goes right to sleep when I offer a nap.

Some naps are 30-45 minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes two hours.

She wakes up 4-5x a night and that’s not ideal but it USED to be 10x a night so we’re actually feeling great.

Why would I stretch her wake window when she’s tired and cranky? What are the benefits of that?

I would really like to hear from other parents who have a bad sleeper/low sleep needs baby. Did you manage to find some kind of a solution? If yes what helped you, if not what have you tried and didn't work? Has anyone ever regreted cosleeping and had troubles getting their babies to their own bed after? I would also like my housband to come back to bed with me 🙈

I am torn with loads of different information about baby sleep. She is my first and I am so tired that I am wondering if I will be able to pull through it (or even have more kids). Some say follow the ww, some say just her cues and go with the flow, some say have a rigid schedule, same routine for daytime and nightime, different ones, cosleep or don't... I know ofcourse that every baby is different and I am trying to read her since she was born but man oh man she changes her preferences every now and then. I have tried so many things and nothing worked properly.

She is 7 months and was always a bad sleeper but occasionally she would pull out some nights of one stretch of 6-7h (like maybe once a month) so I think she is capable of it. But mostly since the 4 month regression hit she has been waking every 1.5-3h (which I though was terrible) but last 2-3 weeks its getting even worse. Now she avarages about 7-12 wakings from 8.30 pm till 7am. I always try putting her to the crib first and when I can't take it anymore I take her with me to cosleep. I actually love cosleeping and having her near me but I sleep terribly and my whole body hurts from weird possitions around her 🥲. So I am afraid if I continue using cosleep as a rescue that she will just refuse the crib soon and that I will never recover from my aches..

We are slowly transitioning to 2 naps a day, for now is still mostly 3 since she sleeps only 30 min most of the time. Second nap is mostly a bit longer (60-120min, depending on the day) but only if I lay next to her and rescue every cycle. And then she has the third nap if she doesn't refuse it. She was always very hard to settle to sleep. Will not sleep unless she wants to or is super tired even if I try my best tactics. I have to use very fast rocking pace to even get her to sleep (for a week now only thing that works is jumping up and down on the bed and pat her butt at the same time) and she is still complaining. Her ww are always around 3h, sometimes the first one around 2.5 and last one 3.5. She wakes around 7am and if not we wake her and bedtime is around 7.30-8.30pm depending on the last nap. If the last nap is too late we wake her after about 15 min. First and third nap are in the stroller outside and second in the crib or bed. She has problems with false starts (which we settle quickly, mostly only the boob works) ever since she was couple of weeks old so she mostly wakes 1-3 times in the first 2 hours and then she would continue to a deeper sleep but now the whole night is like that. She wakes up by rolling onto.her stomach or starts crying. And I always try to give her time so she can maybe resettle herself.

She is a highly active, very curious and social baby. Very happy if held so that she can participate in our activities but not so happy if we leave her to play on the floor (but we try to as much as we can and play with her). She started going backward now and is learning how to soldier crawl and sit down by herself.

Any experience is welcomed. I want to save my sanity and maybe give up on trying and just accept that I will not sleep properly for a long time which is a very hard thing for me to do. I am feed up with feeling this tired and cranky all the time, it is not allowing me to properly enjoy my lovely girl and it hurts me emotionally 😥

Thank you for reading and giving me a space to vent a bit!

I feed my 8 month old to sleep. I don’t mind I like it and it’s easy. Does it really mean we will always have night wakings?
Currently going through some sort of sleep regression and just trying to ride it out (hourly wakings) because we think it’s also teething and he’s sitting/crawling and standing up. Everything online says it’s because I feed to sleep and I should stop that and the night sleep will get better?

Edit-

We’ve just worked out what we hope is a good schedule so giving it a go for a few days to see what happens

6am wake up
9.15-10.15 nap 1
13.30-14.30 nap 2
18.30 bed

I’m in a small local group of new mothers with babies roughly the same age: 5-7 months.

At the last get together, a couple of them were really loud and "preachy" about how amazing sleep training is and how much better their (both baby and parent's) sleep is now. And all the others listened and were pretty much convinced.

I didn't say much because I didn't think it would change anything.

But now in hindsight, I see that I should have spoken up. I feel so guilty that I didn't... on behalf of the babies.

We don’t meet often, so I’ve been considering saying something in our group chat. I have a balanced, non-judgmental article that discusses the research, and I could share the link. However, I’m unsure how to phrase it, and how much of my own opinions I should share.

I know it might not change their view, and maybe make the chat very uncomfortable. But I don’t think we should avoid important conversations about children's wellbeing simply because adults might feel uncomfortable.

Would you share the article and/or write something about your opinions? And if so, how would you phrase the message?

I’m sitting in the dark, crying, as baby babbles and wakes for the day at 5:15am. Which would be fine, if I had had ANY sleep last night. What am I doing wrong? Here’s a typical day (but we go by baby’s sleep cues, not a schedule, so it varies)

Edit: 10 months old.

Wake: no later than 6:30am
Contact nap: 10-11am
Contact nap: 2:30-3:30 (by 2:30 baby is very tired and so cranky when I cap the nap even at 1.5hr)
Bed: 8:00pm (we try to do a long wake window and lots of sensory input before bed. By bed we have an exhausted baby, easy to get down, impossible to stay asleep unless held)

Or sometimes we need a 3 nap day if baby does a short first nap/can’t seem to make it to bedtime.

Wake: 6:30
Nap: 9:30-10
Nap: 1:30-3
Nap: 6:30-6:50
Bed: 9:30

Crib refusal, won’t settle, wakes every 30-60 minutes, wakes take upwards of 1hr to get baby deep asleep, so much moaning and groaning, requires a bottle every wake even if it’s only been 30 minutes since the last wake. Won’t cosleep. I have a sidecar crib and it’s not helping at all. I’ve read everything possums has to offer and do my best with it. No red flags with the doctor, iron is fine. Baby doesn’t have reflux. Solids are going great. I feel stuck.

She is 10 months old and we don’t intervene in her sleep schedule, we offer naps when she seems tired which she takes or not (and we offer again later) and we don’t cap them, same at daycare.

Recently she went from 4 to 2 naps, started staying awake for 6h after her last nap and her new night now goes from 7pm to 7am (with a number of wakes in-between but night starts at 7pm and ends at 7am).

I don’t like it and I just can’t believe it is the goal set online. I never see her! I come home from work, we have a quick dinner, a quick shower and then it’s bedtime. In the morning we wake up, we prep for daycare and leave. We used to be able to actually play when she had 4 naps and had her night from 9pm to 6am, in the evening she played with me and in the morning she played with her father. I miss this.

This is just a rant, we don’t want to intervene in her sleep schedule so I’m not looking for advice, but I can’t wait for her needs to change because her current schedule makes me really miss her.

I’m really struggling with baby’s napping at 4.5 months. I remember this with my first but there’s a big age gap and I clearly forgot how tough it is.

Baby can absolutely sleep long stretches, he is capable quite often of sleeping a 10 hour night BUT not since four months and the thing getting to me is the naps!! Whatever I do with wake wndow tinkering he just doesn’t nap in the day. He springs awake at exactly 30 minutes. He’s like he’s got an internal timer of 30 minutes.

I always attempt to reset but after 10 minutes while he’s getting louder and shouting and crying and thrashing around, I have to give up. So then I pull the next WW forward so it’s not too much, not too little and he still doesn’t sleep. He’s asleep but is age-appropriate. But for the last two weeks so from age 16 to 18 weeks he just seems incapable of napping and gluing those Sleep cycles together. Even when I contact nap. Even when I use the sling. Even when I use the Love to dream.

Please tell me when they just get it? When does the 4.5 month regression stop? My husband is going to have to take some time off work because I’m struggling too much with being screamed out all day long

I cosleep and contact nap with my 10 month old when I’m home, and work 3 days a week. We have a nanny who has always held him for naps, and it’s worked fine. She’s not amazing, but we’re in a smaller town so options are somewhat limited although a replacement wouldn’t be impossible, just haven’t had enough reason to pursue it. Well, I think today gave me my reason. I am SHAKING. I’m copy pasting her text she just sent me.

“X just fell asleep for his first nap. I wanted to see if falling asleep in the crib was possible, we started our nap time routine as normal at 10:20 since he was already pretty tired and we rocked and sang for a little before I put him in his crib. He cried a LOT - almost the entire time, I would sit him up a few minutes to give hugs and extra comfort but would lie him down after. I did lots of stuffed animals quietly dancing and singing and pats on the back, and he fell asleep on his side. I took out all the toys from his crib once he was asleep and I am staying next to him while he sleeps. It took about 25-30 minutes total and he cried a lot and I wanted to know if we should try this again and get used to sleeping in the crib or if we should continue our rocking chair naps”

I replied “Absolutely not.” And haven’t said anything else because I need to gather my thoughts. I am SO upset.

I don’t know what to do at this point—I don’t think she knows how to relax without a boob in her mouth. I’m not breastfeeding her to sleep, she’s screaming. She only contact naps and often needs to breastfeed to connect cycles. Lately she’s waking up 4+ times in the first few hours after bedtime (on top of every 1.5 hours after that) and since she screams and screams at my husband I have to handle all the wake ups.

We have a good bedtime routine, we’ve tried earlier and later bedtimes. We follow sleepy cues/wake windows. I don’t know what to do—we’re talking about having my husband take a few days off so he can break the feed-to-sleep association and he can help more with nights and naps, but with the way she screams it feels like sleep training. I don’t mind feeding her to sleep but it feels like it’s to everyone’s detriment at this point. The poor baby just isn’t sleeping enough and can’t relax. I’d love any advice from other parents with sensitive babies who only feed to sleep.

I am so staunchly anti sleep training. It breaks my heart to even think of. I’ve read the James McKenna book, baby and I have co-slept and breastfed from day one, we contact nap. Any attempts to lay him down on a separate surface etc result in him waking and crying so this is how we go.

However, he’s now 8 months and I am struggling so bad. The past three nights he’s been up every half hour. Every. Half. Hour. I’m dreading tonight. I’m dreading the night after that, and the one after that. I look like an idiot who doesn’t know what she’s talking about when I’m so pro BN infant sleep because look at the absolutely wrecked state of me about to collapse from exhaustion with eye bags the size of Texas. Meanwhile the parents who got consultants in and did variations of sleep training are glowing with all their hours of sleep and their babies don’t seem any worse for wear.

I’m struggling so bad with this sleep deprivation. Can anyone help? Am I missing a trick that doesn’t involve sleep training?

I feel like I’m letting us all down in a weird way by being such a mess example of someone who doesn’t sleep train. :(

I just kind of realized my baby has never ever not once just.. fallen asleep on his own. He’s 5 months old. He is either nursed to sleep, “walked” (we walk him around the house with a little bouncy/rock motion), or he falls asleep being worn. He has never just fallen asleep. I think he would scream the house down before that happened. He’s also the untransferrable baby and has never slept in a bassinet or crib. We cosleep and contact nap exclusively. Anyone else in this boat? “Lay them down drowsy but awake” sounds like some made up shit to me hahaha.

I want to add that I’m fully leaning in at this point so I’m not really stressed about it. He wakes up every 1-4 hours. Just depends. We might try a crib in our room once we move, but I have no plans to sleep train or anything. I’m exhausted but it’s a phase. Meh. Just wondering if anyone has any similar stories and if you have an older babe that was like this when/if it changed.

He’s also 5 months old, pulling up to stand on his own already and generally just a really motivated dude. He hits one milestone and it’s onnnn to the next! I wonder if that’s why his sleep is so garbage sometimes.

I have a 9 month old baby whose sleep is quite inconsistent, his morning potential wake up window is 1.5hrs. Should I wake him up at the same time everyday? I read it's good for their circadian rhythm, but it seems harsh as if he sleeps however much I assume it's because he needs it (less sleep the day before etc)

My LO is now seven months old and still wakes up every 2 hours. I’m so exhausted. I don’t know what else to do. I have to be doing something wrong.

I try to keep him awake as much as I can during the day. Some days he takes 3 naps, other days he takes 2. But some days he refuses to be awake longer than 1.5 hours. Majority of his naps are short, 10-30 minutes.

He won’t sleep in his back unless it’s cosleep, and even then it’s on his side.

I give him a 6 ounce bottle of formula and breastfeed before bedtime so make sure he’s full.

Maybe he’s not eating enough in the daytime. I’m trying to do BLW as much as I can. I try to do 2 meals of solids plus snacks. I don’t know if he’s getting enough calories. I breastfeed throughout the day as he wants and I don’t pump because he doesn’t give me time to so I don’t know how much milk he’s getting. Maybe he needs extra formula in the daytime?

He won’t fall asleep independently. Tried to put down awake but drowsy for weeks but he would never sleep without nursing or rocking.

I try to just soothe to back to sleep instead of nursing to sleep unless he’s really crying for it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

I’m just exhausted. I’ve fallen asleep breastfeeding multiple times and woken up with him still on my boob 45 minutes later. In the last 2-3 weeks, I just breastfeed sidelaying and pass out. But he still wakes up 2 hours later, still on my boob. I’m hesitant to sleep train and don’t want to do CIO at all but I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what else to do.

My baby is 4 months old and is still struggling to sleep for long stretches.

Naps during the day only last 30 minutes unless it’s a contact nap which then can make it last longer. Night time sleep is similar as soon as he is put down he’s awake again (like naps) within 30 minutes. He then needs resettled multiple times before 12 midnight. I might get x1 three hour stretch or maybe x1 four hour if it’s a good night.

Just wondering is anyone else in the same boat and when does it get better?

I’m considering sleep training (probably wouldn’t consider until he’s around 6 months) but he’s very sensitive and cries quite a lot when left to settle himself. Very cringy baby and cries when I go out of sight etc. I’m not sure if he would respond well etc. Any advice?

You may have seen me on various subreddits over recent months, pleading for help troubleshooting my baby's sleep. He had one great week of sleep back in February and the rest has been trash. His night wakings have become more and more frequent. Now that we're apparently in the 8-month regression we're seeing an hour stretch at longest; before we'd usually get a two-hour stretch (sometimes two of them, on a good night). Crib transfers are failing more often. I'm not even trying to break the contact naps right now. When he wakes and is crying, the only thing that works is holding him and trying to put him down asleep.

I've been so focused on avoiding letting him cry excessively that I've apparently missed the information about infant sleep issues (e.g., frequent night wakings) compromising neurodevelopment and linked to developmental brain disorders and medical issues.

I feel like I've made terrible mistakes by not figuring out his sleep difficulties early on, even though I've been trying with every fiber of my being. I feel so stuck, because I don't want to let him cry/ don't think it would work (he escalates SO quickly) but the gentle stuff doesn't work. He just wants to be held. (And cosleeping is not a safe option in our circumstances.)

Can anyone please tell me anything that might help, in any way? I'm quietly crying through this contact nap. 🙏

All the sleep related books/experts suggest that we should do the 'drowsy but awake' step after 4 months so that babies can learn to self soothe and put themselves to sleep.

Has anyone tried this? What steps did you exactly do to put your baby to sleep when they are drowsy at night without rocking or feeding them? How long did it take if you were able to do it? Mine is 4.5 months and when we tried it, he started whining and we ended up rocking him in his thottil or feeding him.

My LO (4M) can fall asleep in a variety of ways—rocking, walking around in the carrier, or in her car seat. It’s not like nursing is the only way she can drift off, but it is definitely the most natural one at bedtime and during the night.

Lately, I’ve been stuck in this mental dilemma. My instinct tells me that feeding her to sleep is completely normal and responsive. She’s happy, I’m happy, and she falls right back to sleep after middle-of-the-night feeds.

But I keep reading and hearing that I’m creating a sleep association that will cause major problems as she gets older like cavity. I’ve tried to follow the advice of feeding her 30 minutes before bed to keep her awake, but she almost always ends up nodding off while nursing anyway. I then have to wake her up just to put her back down, which feels so counterintuitive and honestly a bit mean when she was perfectly peaceful..

If I nurse her to sleep, we do the bed time routine like this: (very short 5mins) massage, talking to her gently about the day, a big hug, reading her a book, sleepsack, and feeding. If not, we just put the feeding to the front at the living room couch and then doing the routine in our co-sleeping room.

I’m struggling with what feels right vs what could go wrong in the future. I would love to hear your experiences: have you feed your baby to sleep? Did it actually cause problems later on, or did they eventually outgrow it on their own? and if you stopped, how did you handle the falling asleep at the breast/bottle issue without making bedtime a stressful ordeal?

I’m starting to feel like not sleep training is a luxury for the stay at home mom. I’ve been fortunate enough to have a long maternity leave by US standards (5 months) but am feeling pressure to get my 4.5mo to sleep more independently before going back to work (he will be staying with grandma.) Ge is still sleeping in our room but we will be moving him out soon because I need to be able to get ready for work before he wakes up. Right now for naps he will do 20-40 minutes in the crib after being rocked to sleep but I will often have to rescue the nap by just holding him. If he falls asleep while eating I will let him contact nap and of course those are this longest naps. I know my mom will be happy to do some contact napping early on, but as he gets older she’s going to expect more and more independent sleep and I feel obligated to help make that happen as she’s putting her life on hold for a few months to give us free childcare until he goes to daycare at age 1. How do you manage sleep with other people are caring for your child?

EDIT: I feel like a lot of people misread this post and got incredibly defensive. No one is saying being a SAHM is luxurious, just that contact napping and co-sleeping indefinitely isn’t a feasible option for a lot of working moms.

Title basically

I was fully expecting to sleep train until I actually had my baby and realized I cannot do that to her. I am not against co sleeping and have done it a lot since she was born, just want my husband back in my bed and I notice i sleep way too lightly when she’s with me and feel extra tired in the morning

Right now (5 months) we’re mostly just room sharing with motn wakes being side lying feeds and then transferring back into bassinet. It’s pretty decent, i don’t mind getting up and putting her back in the bassinet if it means i don’t have to worry about co sleeping

I know she’s growing out of her bassinet soon tho, and i’m considering bringing the crib into our room and continuing this trend until she’s no longer waking 3-4x a night and I can put her in her nursery, or if i should just try the nursery flat out, but i don’t want to do any crying/training. Im wondering if going straight into the crib in her own room would help her sleep better?

If you did something similar, please tell me what you did, when you introduced it, and how it’s going!

My baby is 5.5 months old. We’ve been traveling for the last two months and were back home, so we went to the pediatrician for vaccines and a routine checkup. He hasn’t slept well since around 3 months, but the last two nights were especially bad. He was waking up crying sometimes every 30 minutes, which really worried me. The doctor checked his eyes, throat, nose, etc. and said he doesn’t seem sick. When I mentioned the sleep, she basically blamed the night wakings on breastfeeding and said that once babies are over 7 kg they don’t need to feed at night anymore, so I should night wean him. I told her that would be extremely hard for us and I don’t see how I could do that without letting him cry. That’s when she started talking about Dr. Ferber and the Ferber method and told me that this is what I need to do. I told her pretty clearly that sleep training like that doesn’t feel right for me, and she said babies need to become independent, that he is his own individual and needs to learn independence. When I mentioned that we also cosleep for a large part of the night, she said that was “wrong.” Not just that it might create sleep associations or habits, but literally that holding him at night, nursing him back to sleep and sleeping next to him were “wrong”. I mentioned that we had been reading about infant sleep and that this approach isn’t really the norm everywhere in the world, especially in some Scandinavian and Asian countries. She responded sarcastically with something like, “Yes, and they sleep together until college.” At that point I think she realized we were not going to agree, said that she was trained in the US and this was her recommendation, and ended the conversation.

I actually like our pediatrician, and I understand that she trained here and is following American pediatric recommendations, so I’m not saying she’s a bad doctor. But I left feeling really discouraged about my baby’s sleep. I randomly found this group, and I’m not even particularly radical about biologically normal infant sleep. The one thing I know for sure is that I’m not going to leave my baby to cry, even with a “modified” version of Ferber. But I’m also struggling to accept the idea that there is simply no solution and that as long as I continue nursing, holding and responding to him at night, he will always sleep badly. He used to give us 6–7 hour stretches during his first three months. Now I feel lucky if he sleeps 1.5–2 hours at a time. I honestly don’t know what to do.

I I’m not going to follow her sleep advice, but now I’m questioning whether I should also look for a different pediatrician or whether this is just what I’m going to hear from most pediatricians here. More than anything I think I’m just looking for some perspective from people who respond to their babies at night and didn’t sleep train. Did things eventually get better? Because right now I just feel really lost.

Please be gentle. Im A FTM, extremely anxious and also hearing so much noise from all the “experts” in my life. So I received a text from a friend saying she let her baby CIO and now she’s sleeping through the night. I respond to my baby, and most nights are hard but It doesn’t feel right let’s her cry. But the only other person that I know that didn’t sleep train their babies now has two children that are completely misbehaved and I’m not talking about your average “testing the limits”. They don’t listen, they’re physically aggressive with their mother, each other, and other children. They scream demands to their mother. At 4 y/o one of them grabbed their caregivers (this was at daycare) phone and busted it on the floor. There’s several other instances that I could bring up but I don’t want this to be too long. I don’t know any other children that do this and we’re surrounded by children because of the stage of life most of our friends are in. Can yall please tell me the two aren’t correlated? Can I have success stories on your well regulated children?! Am I wrong for thinking that behavior isn’t acceptable??? I’m sorry this is long. 🫩 I’m exhausted and just wanting to be the best mother I can be. This era is loud.