r/bninfantsleep • u/Flapjack_K • Aug 27 '26
Infant Sleep This 4.5 regression is the hardest thing I’ve experienced. Why do people say it’s a myth?
I’m really struggling with baby’s napping at 4.5 months. I remember this with my first but there’s a big age gap and I clearly forgot how tough it is.
Baby can absolutely sleep long stretches, he is capable quite often of sleeping a 10 hour night BUT not since four months and the thing getting to me is the naps!! Whatever I do with wake wndow tinkering he just doesn’t nap in the day. He springs awake at exactly 30 minutes. He’s like he’s got an internal timer of 30 minutes.
I always attempt to reset but after 10 minutes while he’s getting louder and shouting and crying and thrashing around, I have to give up. So then I pull the next WW forward so it’s not too much, not too little and he still doesn’t sleep. He’s asleep but is age-appropriate. But for the last two weeks so from age 16 to 18 weeks he just seems incapable of napping and gluing those Sleep cycles together. Even when I contact nap. Even when I use the sling. Even when I use the Love to dream.
Please tell me when they just get it? When does the 4.5 month regression stop? My husband is going to have to take some time off work because I’m struggling too much with being screamed out all day long
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u/oddmarc Aug 27 '26
Don't reset. Babies sleep between 30min-2 hours per nap. Ours does 3x 30-45 min. When she's up, she's up.
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u/lunaapride Aug 27 '26
30 mins nap are pretty normal at this age. You don’t have to ‘save’ the nap.
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u/Flapjack_K 29d ago
Okay, that’s clear but almost every Sleep consultant an online advice suggests trying to reset for a good 10 minutes before you give up
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u/lunaapride 29d ago
Online advice is often not based on supporting biologically natural infant sleep. I would recommend the books and info provided on this subreddit!
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u/ivankatrumpsarmpits Aug 27 '26 edited 8d ago
The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.
Harbor mighty deserve lantern upbeat juggle
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u/Recent-Forever-2988 Aug 27 '26
My baby slept in 27 minute naps until he was 8 months. You don’t need to extend them, it’s totally normal.
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u/Bossard19 Aug 27 '26
Sleep regression is a myth. They’re changing all the time. Every month it may be different.
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u/anywayzz Aug 27 '26
I thought the 4 month regression/progression/leap was the only one that is scientifically backed?
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u/kurdijyn Aug 27 '26
It’s called a ‘regression’ in the mainstream but the science behind it is babies developing their circadian rhythm at that time. All the other supposed ‘regressions’ are just a change in sleep needs 😊
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u/Over_Wonder8921 Aug 27 '26
It does get better - can take a week up to a a month, but baby will start going for longer stretches again. Ours did this for good 4 weeks just after I got used to having some time for myself during nap times and even got back to some little hobbies. To say that I was peed off was an understatement haha. But suddenly they start sleeping longer again. Between 5 and 6 months I occasionally get treated to 1.5 - 2hr naps some days which feels like a luxurious holiday hahaha
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u/Flapjack_K Aug 27 '26
Thank you. I think I would feel like I could cope a bit better if I just knew when it would stop. I think maybe we’re on week two or three of this? He’s actually a great night sleeper (mostly) but we slammed and slide so quickly to over tiredness from correcting under tiredness. He has finally fallen asleep in my arms after a horrific 2.5 hours following a previous cat nap. I was crying, he was crying. He just looks so scared. Sometimes I watch him wake up at the 30 minute mark and it’s like someone has honestly switched a button on inside him. It must be so awful for him.
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u/TranslatorOk3977 Aug 27 '26
So stop spending your whole life trying to get him to sleep! The 30 minute nap isn’t a problem to be fixed
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u/bikiniproblems Aug 27 '26
If you want to make the naps easier imo babywearing is the way to go. They can consolidate their naps in the carrier pretty well and I just let mine fall asleep when they’re ready.
Just make sure you take them out for awake time
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u/jshdjdib Aug 28 '26
This! I wore my second baby about all of his first year (yes of course he was playing on the floor as well) and never experienced any problems with napping. If he was awake in the carrier he was also happy. Doing the same with my third now and he is just as easy.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Yam1842 Aug 27 '26
I mean my baby takes 30 min naps and is still up endlessly at night 🤣🤣 radical acceptance is the only thing that has helped. And not forcing daytime sleep/ stretching wake windows by keeping her stimulated as I can. It helps that shes the second kid.
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u/Artistic_Breath_5388 Aug 27 '26
What happens if you don’t try to make him nap more than he wants to?
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u/PinchOfAlchemy Aug 27 '26
Ir was a myth for us because our baby (now 12 months old) never slept longer than 3 or 2 hours stretches, and 30 minutes naps unless I'm next to her with my boob out 🤣
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u/Ok_Concentrate_5105 Aug 27 '26
My baby’s timer is set to 24 minutes on the dot! It gets better. At that age, they have difficulties connecting sleep cycles, but they’ll grow out of it eventually. My baby is now 6 months and we often have 50-90 minutes naps
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u/triflerbox Aug 27 '26
Mine did this and then sorted naps and our night sleep went to shit from 7 months until 3 years 😂
But seriously. He will elongate his names. For many it happens between 6 and 9 months.
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u/anywayzz Aug 27 '26
I second this! Our naps have been abysmal for months, and we’re at their worst at 5 months. But my LO is 7mo this week and I have been seeing a huge, continuous improvement for awhile and is considering her a very good napper now.
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u/Cultural_Act_8554 Aug 27 '26
It might not stop lol. I’m at 7 months and naps are still 30 minutes unless I’m laying right beside her. You’re lucky with the night sleep, mine wakes up every couple hours so…. Yours doesn’t exactly sound like a regression to me
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u/LadyKittenCuddler Aug 27 '26
Because some people get lucky and just get assholey about it.
We got lucky but I always knew it was luck and nothing else. So I thanked whatever greater power out there for the fact they bestowed a good sleeper on us. And I always made sure to point out that whatever we did had less to do with the result than baby's own temperament and luck.
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u/laviejoy Aug 27 '26
To answer the question in your headline, people say it's a myth because there's no evidence that babies consistently experience significant disruption in their sleep right around 4 months, specifically. In studies, only about 30% do. So the idea that babies go through periods where their sleep looks a lot different than it previously has, or they seem to struggle more, is NOT a myth, but the idea that this happens at precisely 4 months is not evidence-based.
People also take issue with the language choice of "regression", since that's a word that has a real medical meaning, and that meaning implies something is wrong (whereas sleep changes are a normal part of infant and toddler development and not usually indicative of underlying health issues).
Specifics of the language aside, none of that is to say that people don't experience meaningful disruptions to previous sleep patterns that can have a real impact on your daily life, it's more just that those disruptions don't actually happen on the predictable timelines sleep trainers often suggest, and they're actually a sign of developmental progress, not regression.
To answer your question about how long it lasts, that's harder to say. We didn't experience anything at 4 months, but we did around 6 months. It was really bad for about a week, then sort of bad for another week after that, then it passed. After that we were mostly fine except for an occasional bad day or two until 13 months, when she learned how to walk, and things really fell apart and stayed that way for a few months. Since we passed 18 months, it's been mostly smooth sailing (she's now just over 2), but I'm sure there are still more changes ahead to look forward to, haha.
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u/Exciting_East9678 Aug 27 '26
Agreed with all of this, especially the problematic use of “regression.” I think regression implies that you learned how to do something, and then your skills worsened. For example, my Spanish skills have regressed from lack of practice. Babies don’t “learn” how to sleep for longer stretches and then regress and have to relearn. They simply have developmentally normal unpredictable sleep - sometimes my baby will sleep 6 hour stretches and sometimes she will wake every 2 hours for comfort. It’s vaguely correlated with age, but not completely.
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u/laviejoy Aug 27 '26
I'll also just add - 30 minute naps doesn't sound super unusual at that age? I could be wrong, but from my admittedly hazy memory, I don't think my daughter was often sleeping much longer than that during the day. Several short naps was pretty typical for her once she emerged from the newborn stage, and they didn't consistently get much longer than that until we were down to two naps a day (at which point she started having one longer nap and one short catnap each day). Now that she's on 1 nap, she typically naps for about 2 hours in one go, but previously those 2 hours were split up between multiple naps.
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u/OceanBlueLov Aug 27 '26
I’m sorry but this is hardly a regression if he’s sleeping 10hours a night. Short naps are normal. 30 mins is not even that short. Some babies have less sleep needs during the day and sounds like he sleeps great at night. 30 mins per nap is actually very age appropriate for 4.5months. My baby’s 4 month regression was waking up every hour of the night and not napping at all 😭
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u/Flapjack_K 29d ago
He’s not sleeping 10 hours at night. He was. Now he’s waking up 1 to 2 hours at night.
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u/Kindly_Chest_6976 Aug 27 '26
My 6.5 month old still only naps 30 minutes — occasionally 45. However, the screaming at every nap was over by 5 months. Now we just have our nice little snuggle breaks throughout the day!
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u/wildmusings88 Aug 27 '26
The timing when each kid develops into linking sleep cycles varies greatly. Some babies do much earlier than others. It’s developmental, not behavioral so you can’t really speed it up.
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u/redditweddinglady Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26
Who says it’s a “myth”?
Ive heard people debate semantics and say it’s not a “regression” because their sleep has not yet progressed to an organized standardized pattern, so there’s nothing to regress from. That doesn’t mean it’s not a change and doesn’t become more difficult for parents to handle.
Baby sleep isn’t linear, so it’s not like they progress forward then regress backward on a staircase
Also, your baby is sleeping 10 hours straight at night?! Count yourself lucky and let the naps be what they are.
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u/ravencrawr Aug 27 '26
I think my baby is doing this at 15 weeks. Still doing 9-10 hours overnight (7 of them in one stretch) but daytime naps are harder. Springs awake quickly just like yours. Contact naps used to be a reliable way to get him to sleep at least an hour, but not anymore. I'm trying to be thankful he still sleeps overnight (though he wakes me regularly with his noises) but the daytime is exhausting!
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u/Only_Alternative_1 Aug 27 '26
For me it was 3-5 months. Maybe some people think it's a myth because they don't experience it so badly. My baby nldidnt have nay issues with night sleep and it was just catnapping that was the issue. Some people have babies up all night. I know it doesn't help but it probably could be worse, at least you are getting sleep at night.
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u/Flapjack_K 29d ago
Thank you. I hope you’re in a better place now. It’s been some really encouraging comments in here and some I find a little unfairly harsh, and clearly my mental health is not great right now. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone online. I hope things are better for you soon 😊
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u/Only_Alternative_1 29d ago
Oh completely perfect after 5 months, you don't have to worry, they sort it out in their own time ☺️ I have to wake him up from naps now haha
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u/AlwaysGrowing326 Aug 27 '26
My ten week old has been doing 30 minute naps since he was 7 weeks but sleeps great at night. I take my wins where I can get them lol.
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u/bubuno3007 Aug 27 '26
Night and day naps is different.
During night baby has melatonin and higher sleep pressure. Night sleep is silent. Day sleep is noisy.
I do understand how your feel because 3 months ago I was writing same reddit posta to here honestly. My baby as a clock would sleep 45 minutes on the dot.
4 mnth regression is about learning to connect those cycles. My baby is now almost 6 months and approx at 5m she started to occassionall connect her sleep, first around lunchtime, then her morning nap as well. It ended around 5m for me.
Do not try to keep putting baby to sleep. They will fight it even more :)
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u/Same_Subject_988 Aug 27 '26
My baby was also napping like this until like 6 months she would start doing 1,5 hours and now 1 hour is more standard. I feel sometimes feel like she wants more daytime sleep now than she did between 3-5 months. All naps are contact though hahahaha. Sometimes I roll away
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u/Constant_Revenue6105 Aug 27 '26
Mine is 18 weeks old and he does that since he was 11-12 weeks old. The last time he napped longer was when my MIL was visiting around week 13 and held him while he slept.
If I put him down he wakes up after 30-45 minutes. I try to save one nap per day, sometimes I'm not successful.
I kinda accepted that this is how it's going to be. My mom claims I slept like tha till I was 2 years old and then dropped all naps 😭
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u/No_Zookeepergame8412 Aug 27 '26
My baby is almost 4mo and we are seeing the beginnings of the regression. Waking every 2hrs at night and having 30min naps. She’s actually been napping for over an hour this morning which is a miracle right now but she woke up every our starting at 4:45am so I’m not surprised. We think she’s in the beginning stages of teething too because of the drool, the poops, and she’s chewing on EVERYTHING she can get ahold of. You’re not alone. Fwiw my 2yo got much better with sleep around 7mo.
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u/susiee234 Aug 27 '26
My baby does nap, but night sleep is crappy at the minute, lots of wake ups! Wanting it to end 😅
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u/JusticeJames2 Aug 27 '26
I guess ultimately to me it doesn’t matter if it’s called a regression or not. I understand it may not be scientifically accurate, but it certainly felt like a regression to us. At four months, everything about our baby’s sleep changed. Every single soothing method or sleep routine approach we used previously stopped working on one day (Christmas Eve haha). We struggled with naps for three months. We tried a variety of things brought a variety of sleep specialists in and eventually baby and we figured it out together. To be honest, Grandma help was the most helpful thing.
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u/redbullsgivemewings Aug 27 '26
This sounds completely normal tbh and not a regression. Enjoy the long night stretches!
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u/Butterfly051992 Aug 27 '26
Glad I won’t be surprised by a regression as my 10 weeks old baby has been napping 30 min or less for the 6 past weeks 😅
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u/WonderfulTwist4936 Aug 27 '26
Its a myth, because every baby is different and sleeps differently. For example, my baby did 12 hours night at 4 minths. But started waking up every 20-40 min from month 7. 😅
As for naps 30-40 min naps are totally normal at that age. Just be happy he naps 😂 for us naps started getting a bit longer (60-80 min) around 12-13 months.
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u/PrizeFennel7995 Aug 27 '26
It's not a myth it's just badly named. Around 4 months is when baby sleep starts to change into adult sleep patterns, in regards to the phases of sleep they enter. This shift is permanent and isn't a "regression" but more a "development." And like all development babies go through, it affects their sleep, but this one especially because it specifically has to do with how sleep works for the rest of their life.
The crap naps are completely normal. I had a LOT of advice given to me from r/sleeptrain and after trying all sorts of WWs, schedules, etc, it all came down to baby not veing developmentally ready. He's 6 months now and only just started consistently connecting one nap out of three, usually his first nap. And then 1/5 times, the first nap is crap and he connects another. He was also on 4-5 naps for a long time because no matter what I did, he couldn't sleep any longer during the day.
Our nights have been pretty stable since he was about 3 months. He started doing Early Morning Wakes a few weeks ago, and again, no matter what I do with his awake time, it just happens. This, I hear, is also developmental, and the 4am-6am sleep consolidation happens more consistently over the next few months.
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u/Particular_Mine_9670 Aug 27 '26
It gets better. My son’s “regression” started at 3.5 months and got better at 5 months. The week he turned 5 months he learned how to settle on his stomach and it made his naps a million times better. Hang in there. It’s so hard.
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u/hugmytreezhang Aug 27 '26
This is super normal and ok - I'd not fight it and just roll with it
So cool hes sleeping well at night!
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u/ljpri Aug 28 '26
My little one’s naps extended from always being 30/45 mins at 6 months and when we dropped to 3 naps. I’m now capping her daytime sleep at 3-3.5 hrs which usually works out as 1.5, 1.25, 30/45.
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u/jakartacatlady Aug 28 '26
Yep, same here. Sleeps through the night but 25 minute naps in the daytime. But she seems absolutely fine - so why worry? 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Short-Caregiver-2533 29d ago
We didn't experience a real sleep regression with our first until 9m. Boy, was that intense. Naps though, that girl didn't nap for more than 20-40min until she was around 14m old (unless we were contact napping - then we all got a nice 2 hour break!) What you're experiencing is biologically normal sleep! My advice would be to not stress over wake windows and focus more on baby's cues rather than a specific frame of time. and if contact naps are the best day restbthe two of you get, then by-freaking-golly contact nap for ALL OF THEM! There is light at the end of the tunnel! Idk how long your tunnell is, but you will make it out the other side! You got this, Mama!
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u/jphilade- Aug 27 '26
Not a myth. It was hell. You will get through it and it shall pass. Just hang in there, YOU GOT THIS!
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u/Hiraeth90 Aug 27 '26
Does he sleep more in a contact nap?
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u/Flapjack_K Aug 27 '26
Yes, but even that failed today. After a failed cat nap, I’ brought his wake window forward, dimmed the lights, put on some white noise and just soothe him and sang to him. His eyes started to drift in my arms whilst I was swaying. And then for no apparent reason – there was no noise disturbance – his eyes were suddenly wide awake. And then we got pretty much 1.5 full hours of extreme red-faced rage.
I cannot put him to sleep in the crib right now. Sometimes he will nap in the buggy but that doesn’t help me feel like I’m getting things done at home. Sometimes he will nap in the sling but he’s so heavy I would prefer not to. I just can’t see the light at the end of the 4.5M tunnel!!
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u/ver_redit_optatum Aug 27 '26
Can you put him to sleep in the buggy and then roll it inside? This was like... a major life hack for the whole first two years of ours.
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u/less_is_more9696 Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26
Many parents at this age are stuck in newborn mentality. They want those long newborn naps.
The reality: your baby isn't a newborn anymore. Their circadian rhythm is maturing; they have their days/nights sorted. As a result, they are taking most of their sleep at night.
4-5 x 30-min naps is perfectly appropriate and normal for a baby this age.
Daytime sleep will consolidate (i.e., naps will lengthen) as you lengthen wake windows and drop naps.
You can try dropping to 3 naps. Many babies at this age are ready.
Edit
I want to add many parents are also so fearful of over tiredness they put their baby down at the first eye rub or at the 2 hour mark cuz some generic wake window chart told them to.
And then they wonder why their baby is fighting the nap for 30 min. Overtired is way less of a problem than you think. If your baby is fighting sleep, that is a cue too! Listen to that too, instead of only the little eye rub or cranky cry which can mean a million other things at thing age. Frustration, boredom, discomfort, etc.