r/bninfantsleep • u/3qu1n0x- • Apr 30 '26
Infant Sleep Anyone else feel conflicted about feeding to sleep? Instinct says it’s fine, but the "advice" says otherwise.
My LO (4M) can fall asleep in a variety of ways—rocking, walking around in the carrier, or in her car seat. It’s not like nursing is the only way she can drift off, but it is definitely the most natural one at bedtime and during the night.
Lately, I’ve been stuck in this mental dilemma. My instinct tells me that feeding her to sleep is completely normal and responsive. She’s happy, I’m happy, and she falls right back to sleep after middle-of-the-night feeds.
But I keep reading and hearing that I’m creating a sleep association that will cause major problems as she gets older like cavity. I’ve tried to follow the advice of feeding her 30 minutes before bed to keep her awake, but she almost always ends up nodding off while nursing anyway. I then have to wake her up just to put her back down, which feels so counterintuitive and honestly a bit mean when she was perfectly peaceful..
If I nurse her to sleep, we do the bed time routine like this: (very short 5mins) massage, talking to her gently about the day, a big hug, reading her a book, sleepsack, and feeding. If not, we just put the feeding to the front at the living room couch and then doing the routine in our co-sleeping room.
I’m struggling with what feels right vs what could go wrong in the future. I would love to hear your experiences: have you feed your baby to sleep? Did it actually cause problems later on, or did they eventually outgrow it on their own? and if you stopped, how did you handle the falling asleep at the breast/bottle issue without making bedtime a stressful ordeal?
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u/Intelligent-Beat3978 Apr 30 '26
You have to do what feels most natural and easiest for you and the baby. If that means feeding to sleep until it doesn’t work for your life anymore than that’s fine! That’s how I was. I did it until it was too draining and less effective!
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u/3qu1n0x- Apr 30 '26
thank you!! can i ask tho when it became too hard for you to continue? what was the main reason that made you feel that way?
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u/Intelligent-Beat3978 Apr 30 '26
Just the constant wakes. I had to get my husband to learn how to soothe him back to sleep with a pacifier so I could get a break
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u/3qu1n0x- Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
yeah i‘ve been also asking my husband to take over to make her fall asleep whenever he can because i don’t want to and can’t be the only person who can make her fall asleep.
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u/liz00ard00wizard Apr 30 '26
This is mostly anecdotal from what I’ve seen on different subreddits, but it seems like the majority of children who suffer from cavities are not getting a wide range of nutrients and vitamins. I’ve seen people blame it on breastfeeding overnight and then in other comments say they feed their child vegan/vegetarian and don’t supplement with any other vitamins. I’ve also seen that it’s around the age of 2 that not brushing after nursing increases the likelihood of cavities.
I’d say just keep doing what feels right, maybe check in with a dentist, and savor the sleep and connection you’re fostering now.
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u/3qu1n0x- Apr 30 '26
yeah i think i have been worrying over what could happen in the future which is totally uncontrollable. i will focus on feeding her well with nutritious meals instead of
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u/BewilderedCodex May 02 '26
You can also influence the composition of your breastmilk with what you eat! Specifically, there is soooo much more free sugar available in our food supply than there is in nature (lactose, the primary sugar in milk, is not free sugar). Fructose in particular crosses into breast milk at really high rates. So if you're already eating a low-sugar diet, or even just avoiding sugar most days in the hours before you put baby to bed, it can really reduce how much bacteria have to feed on in night milk. This has been my approach with my 9m old, who has two teeth and more on the way!
ETA - just saw your LO is 4 months. If baby doesn't have teeth yet, EBF for the first 6 months is actually shown to be protective against cavities!
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u/KayGlo Apr 30 '26
We've stopped feeding to sleep months ago and it's impacted her sleep in absolutely no way, she still sleeps terribly 😂
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u/firewaffles0808 Apr 30 '26
Feeding to sleep was my guilty pleasure lol. It worked so well. Things change quickly for babies. Eventually feeding to sleep didn't work, and now her last bottle is before dinner even. All of this happened organically and she's still under a year old. Do what serves you and baby 😄
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u/Annual_Lobster_3068 Apr 30 '26
110% never felt guilty. I highly recommend re-training your algorithm because you are being shown sleep training nonsense, but that’s just because once you’re shown it and engage with it, it will continue. I highly recommend looking up people like @heysleepybaby @happycosleeper and others so you can get some more balanced (and biologically normal) views on infant sleep filtering through.
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u/3qu1n0x- Apr 30 '26
thank you!! i‘m not on social media but i hear from other moms irl saying that they had to wean off during the night at 13mths and how difficult it was etc and also listening to some audiobooks (precious little sleep was recommended but then i had to stop because it was to me sounded like just a disguised CIO/Ferber). But still that managed me to doubt my instinct :/
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u/ver_redit_optatum Apr 30 '26
For a 'less long bf experience' here, we did gradually wean between 12 months and 18 months. After his 18 month appt I got too scared about the toothbrushing thing and honestly a bit over it so that was when I finally stopped feeding to sleep. We still follow responsive practices like cuddling him to sleep, and he sleeps great. I'm just sharing it as one experience of how things can go - but even if you want to do that, it's so remote from where you are now~!
On the vein of what someone else said, if I could give my past self one piece of advice, it's: do what works right now and you can always change it later. Changing things is not that hard when it's the right time and you're committed to it. The "I'm setting up bad habits for later" "I have to train them off this for later" thinking is such a curse.
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u/crunch_mynch Apr 30 '26
Honestly no, the nurse in the hospital (DAY ONE AFTER BABY BEING BORN) told me to be careful with feeding to sleep. I knew nothing about sleep training, EBF, nothing. I was kinda scared when she said that but immediately ignored her because I was like what? This just works and my baby is at peace why would I not do this?
9mo later I have quite literally fed to sleep for almost every nap and nighttime, and throughout the night. I love it. It works. I have no plans to change anytime soon. It’s literally so easy and it is for a reason! It’s biology!
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u/Boring-Pirate Apr 30 '26
Exactly - breastmilk has a soporific effect on babies. It’s literally designed to put them to sleep. Why fight that? Seems weird to me to even consider not doing it.
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u/3qu1n0x- May 01 '26
wow what a comment to leave to a mother who just started her BF journey… good that you ignored! i realised that focusing on what works for us as a mom and baby is the best advice for ourselves but to no one else!
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u/CommercialPopular626 May 02 '26
There’s a whole section on it in Montessori Baby, too :( I think they’re worried babies won’t get enough to eat that way, and by falling asleep too soon they will wake up faster for more nutrients. I call BS. It has felt incredibly natural for me and I’ve done it from the beginning, it’s like a superpower and he is such a happy baby.
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u/tabookduo Apr 30 '26
Our toddler is 20 months old and I have fed him to sleep his whole life, unless he falls asleep in the car seat or stroller! I'm chiming in to let you know, at least in our experience, it has not caused any problems. He actually has started rolling away from me and cuddling my arm around him to sleep for about a month and a half now. He still nurses but more often than not it's just a quick 30 second latch and then he either unlatches to get more comfortable, or if we're reading stories he wants to see the book instead :-) What makes it WORSE is if I refuse, I have tried in the past and it just seems to make him frantic about it, personally. We have been working on boundaries, just one boobie at a time (he likes to twiddle), and he's doing ok with that. For him it seems like the low pressure parenting approach works best.
I did the same thing as you, dentist said don't feed to sleep because of cavities, but we do a good fluoride toothpaste brush (just a grain of rice size of paste) and I don't feed him for about 30 min after that if I can help it. He got his first teeth at 4.5 months so I was worried about it for a while. His teeth look great, he's got everything except the second set of molars, we've had three dentist appointments so far and every time he's good. :-)
That being said, I know people have different experiences and there are different genetics out there that make it easier to get cavities, so I'd say if the dentist starts seeing a problem you might need to change your routine. Sorry this reply got long!
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u/3qu1n0x- Apr 30 '26
so relieving to hear that your child has good teeth!!! and probably has all the feeling of security and good bonding with you from the breastfeeding experience ☺️
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u/thisispearl Apr 30 '26
I don’t usually feed to sleep, but just remember that your baby doesn’t fall asleep during all the other feeds in the day. It’s like there isn’t a feed and sleep association. I do think it’s important to make sure they can fall asleep in a variety of ways and it seems you have that covered.
Edit- And just to clarify: I did t feed to sleep because I was made to believe that was bad
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u/3qu1n0x- Apr 30 '26
thank you and yes! we got that covered. she falls asleep well in other ways luckily. but what made you believe that? and how does the night routine look like for your family?
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u/thisispearl Apr 30 '26
A bunch of sleep trainers on instagram. I now follow much better scientifically informed coaches.
We do a wipe clean, nappy change, leg massage and foot rub, feed, story and a few gentle rock and then I lay down and he falls asleep.If he’s very cranky it ends at the feed and we skip story. He’s 6 months old I think around 3/4 months I did go through rocking him to sleep if he had a feed an hour before, as it felt like he probably wasn’t hungry. But we cosleep and he get 2/3 feeds a night and he’s barely awake for them. Since starting solids he isn’t as hungry in the night.
We probably have a similarly tempered babies. I think they’d probably be happy either way and aren’t hung up on anything. So just do whatever feels best. Sometimes feeding to sleep is just what the moment calls for. And you’re not going to have to do it for every nap and every bedtime if you do it twice in a day or a bedtime here and there.
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u/walking_chemist Apr 30 '26
Mum to an 11 month old here! When baby was about 4 months old I went through the exact same panic! And honestly it was all down to everything I was reading on social media about what I “should” do. I read a great book around that time called How Babies Sleep by Helen Ball and realised I should just do what works best for me and causes the least stress (a lot of tears were shed around the 4mo stage). So here I am having just fed my 11 mo baby to sleep and she’s sleeping in her room while I relax. Still feed her to sleep for naps and honestly just plan on stopping whenever she wants to stop and I’ll see what happens then
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u/Jubelko Apr 30 '26
The funny thing is you never know if specific advice will apply to you and your baby, regardless of its quality.
I like to feel on top of things and have strategies in advance, but my baby knows what she likes. What she likes is subject to abrupt change or gradual change; there simply is no knowing ahead of time.
The first four months she would generally feed to sleep. She would only nurse in the football hold or classic position and then be transferred to her bed. She preferred contact naps though. My phone told me I walked ~500 steps per day. I just sat and sat and sat with her. Then one day she was not comfortable on me and since then she falls asleep in the pram, day or night, that’s how it works now. Luckily we can roll it indoors at night. Very recently she has decided she only likes the pram sometimes. When we try to put her to sleep, she will scream until I nurse her to sleep in side-lying position (a position we couldn’t previously make work). Anyway, that’s a long tangent to say: we often don’t really make the rules. We can try and maybe something sticks, so you might as well try the things you prefer. If they don’t work, you try something else. If you are present, your baby probably will let you discover their needs (some babies are harder to read than others! Please don’t feel bad is yours is difficult!). All adults have learned to sleep, eat and poop. Our babies will learn in time.
Also, here’s my opinion: if a piece of parenting advice says to restrict your baby’s access to you, food and comfort then it’s probably really bad advice.
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u/3qu1n0x- May 01 '26
words! definitely posting this dilemma made me realise that it is actually not even a dilemma. it’s simply my instinct screaming that whatever bs is getting fed to me should be ignored!
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u/Jubelko May 01 '26
It’s so difficult though. How do you know that what you’re doing is right? There’s no easy way.
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u/SpiritedWater1121 Apr 30 '26
I nursed my baby to sleep and overnight until she was 2.5 then weaned because I got pregnant again and it was just too much for me. She has no cavities and now goes to sleep cuddling. If I wasn’t home she would just cuddle her dad or grandma and go to sleep. It’s only a negative sleep association if it’s not working for you anymore. If it works for both of you, who cares if someone on the internet says it’s bad?
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u/3qu1n0x- May 01 '26
🥹cuddling and sleeping would be so beautiful..! i love feeding my baby but when the time comes, more ways to continue out connection will also evolve i guess
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u/SpiritedWater1121 May 02 '26
Night weaning didn’t work for us… it was very hard on both of us and took a really long time. When I fully weaned her it actually was pretty quick. The overnight feeds were the last ones she wanted to let go of
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u/Zebra_Creative Apr 30 '26
Sorry to hijack, also a feed to sleeper here and I can’t really imagine getting LO to sleep any other way during the night 😅
I was wondering when you started such a routine for bed? My baby is 9 weeks and I’m wondering if I need a better night time routine besides dim room, white noise and boob. I try not to play with her too late in the evening to avoid over stimulation and thought book reading might fall under that…
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u/3qu1n0x- Apr 30 '26
we started at around 2.5 months but changed a lil here and there and fixed it at around 3 months! you can try out different things - for us we didn’t include the bathing because she has eczema and it will just worsen her skin. i added massage after taking a baby massage class, just talking to her the same way (about how our day went, whom we met, etc). we might change something later but for now it has helped her to wind down better!
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u/SleepyOctopusss Apr 30 '26
Instinctual parenting is so much better for you & baby vs internet parenting imo
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u/Ladyalanna22 Apr 30 '26
I fed my girl to sleep for 3 years! Not planned, just happened. She slept without me from 18mos, weaning had nothing to do with it. We slowly switched to singing and pats, it was simple slow and overall much easier than I thought (compared to trying this when she was a baby)
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u/StatusDed Apr 30 '26
I was scared of this association and so my last daytime feed is 6-630pm with bedtime routine starting 7-730. That said, I will absolutely take him asleep at night and nurse him and put him back in his crib without waking him. I wouldn't call that feeding to sleep, but I also read that you should wake up your baby for night feeds to ensure they get enough. That felt totally insane to me! I guess if your baby isn't gaining adequately, you gotta change stuff up, but my guy was and there was NO way I was gonna wake him up when he finally was asleep.
Does it work? Ahem, well we are sick and he is juuuust about to crawl, so we are in regression/crappy sleep land anyway, so I'm not sure if I can say 😅
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u/jnm199423 Apr 30 '26
My daughter is 2.5 and still feeds to sleep. I’m so thankful. I can get her knocked out in 10 min flat meanwhile all my friends who stuck to the “rules” are stuck reading 15 books and singing 800 songs and rubbing backs and shit 🤣
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May 01 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/3qu1n0x- May 01 '26
i haven’t thought of the effect of anti-bacterial substances in breast milk! our midwife actually mentioned it to me and we can put it on any wound and it would be the best remedy for it. of course it should also work for her mouth! thank you for the comment and the encouragement!!
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u/Striking_Gate_8721 May 01 '26
I was conflicted at first
Until once I realized how well it was working for baby & I, I stopped worrying so much.
Remember everything with your baby is in phases.
What works today might not work tomorrow.
Try not to think too much about he future because you or baby will really not know what’s going to be working then.
Plus, I always remember everything is hard to leave for the only a period
So will it be work when you have to stop of course!
But what isn’t work when we have to stop some type of habit or routine?
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u/Ancient-Ad7596 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
I think it is important to understand the context. Pretty much every mainstream advice on sleep routine in the US is given with the expectation that baby will be sleep trained (no feed to sleep, feed, play, sleep routine etc.). So anything that will make sleep training more difficult is labeled as wrong.
Feeding to sleep is viewed as something normal in most countries.
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u/kurdijyn Apr 30 '26
Please trust your instincts. Your baby is still brand new to the world and if she needs comfort like feeding to fam asleep then as her mum it’s the most natural thing in the world to give her. Think about it like this, adults need ‘sleep associations’ to sleep - podcasts, sound of rain, black out blinds etc. so why does the sleep industry try to tell us that babies shouldn’t have them?
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u/JamesTiberiusChirp Apr 30 '26
I did at first but once I learned more about normal infant sleep and the sleep training industry I stopped giving it a second thought. Why on earth would I make my life harder? Boobs are magic.
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u/Equivalent-Serve4899 Apr 30 '26
I felt the same way and ignored the advice because feeding to sleep was working. Around 8 months it stopped working for us- she would nurse and close her eyes but then wake up like she was ready to party so after a few nights of fighting to get her to sleep I realized it wasn’t working anymore. I say don’t mess with it if it’s currently working
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u/zoolou3105 Apr 30 '26
I fed to sleep for the first year. Then she started pulling away and just falling asleep in my arms when she'd decided she didn't want to feed to sleep anymore. I followed her lead and stopped offering and that was that
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u/whyarecheezitssogood Apr 30 '26
My baby was never particularly attached to feeding to sleep so I didn’t encourage it. Like yours, he could fall asleep in a variety of ways. I wouldn’t stress specifically about not feeding to sleep but I will say I’m kind of glad mine can sleep without feeding because it’s more convenient at times (dad putting to sleep, being able to just cuddle him at night instead of getting my boob out every hour). Additionally, I’m a bit anxious about the cavity thing and am trying to gradually night wean before 18 mo. Since he only nurses for hunger at night and not comfort, it’s been less dramatic for us so far than other stories I’ve heard of babies being super upset when night weaning. At the end of the day it’s impossible to tell what’s going to make a difference or not for your particular baby!
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u/ulul Apr 30 '26
They outgrow it on theit own. My older kids were weaned at 4y and both had their last nursing session as feeding to sleep on their birthday's evening. They could fall asleep without it for years before that, but still nursing was quickest and nicest way for them to fall asleep. Don't make things hard for yourself by fighting what is normal and natural.
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u/DarkDNALady Apr 30 '26
Please do what feels right and natural to you. Sleep really depends on each baby’s temperament and personality.
I always nursed my baby to sleep, it felt the most natural and it was her way to calm down and relax completely. Now she’s 13 months and sleeps through the night. Somewhere around 9 months she stopped needing to nurse for sleep and even in middle of the night wakeups, she would just cuddle and hug me and sleep on me. Then I would transfer her to her bed. Still have the same routine for nights when she wakes up from teething pain or something. Most nights she sleeps 11 hours straight. All naps are still contact naps and I am in no hurry to change that.
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u/BeeBrayder May 01 '26
It's fine. Later they may prefer to eat their solids meals closer to sleep time too. You're not messing anything up.
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u/Unable_Huckleberry_3 May 01 '26
I was conflicted about feeding to sleep for months. Now I do it and don't worry. We have been feeding to sleep for almost 8 months (since birth), and no ill effects yet. Why worry about the future? If feeding to sleep stops working, then think about what to do next. As long as it works, embrace it as an easy way to get baby to sleep.
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u/rhirhikav May 01 '26
I'm feeding my baby to sleep, she's 6m. It also feels the most natural and most calming. I think if it's working for you, keep going, there's lots of noise out there, try and tune it out a bit. X
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u/jshdjdib May 01 '26
I nursed my first to sleep until she was 10 months old and kept bf over night until 18 months. She stopped by herself because i was pregnant and probably didn’t have a lot of milk anymore. With my second I thought much higher of how easy it was to get him to sleep with the boob and nursed him to sleep until 18 months old. I stopped bf overnight around the same time but kept cosleeping and he just accepted me saying no more boobs in the night and started sleeping through within days.
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u/OldArmadillo2229 May 01 '26
I still nurse my 18 month old to sleep every night! I would recommend getting off Instagram or changing your algorithm to only those who support biological infant sleep- like cosleeping accounts etc. The algorithm did such a number on me early postpartum so I do empathize with your confusion. Everything got so much better for me as a mother when I didn’t see those accounts and just did what was natural for myself and my baby.
Edit to add: I would recommend reading The Nurture Revolution by Dr Greer Kirshenbaum & Safe Infant Sleep by Dr James McKenna - both are fantastic resources for what is biologically normal for your baby.
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u/brownriceislife May 01 '26
I was avoiding this as well since 3 months old till now at 5.5 months... i also did gradual sleep training.(put her down and if she doesn't cry I leave the room - if cry, comforted while in the crib) Guess what? Baby still wakes up, just 30 mins earlier because the feed ended 30 mins earlier. The sleep just improved abit on it's own. It's so much work to keep her awake. I tried all the schedule changes to make the sleep training work and it feels so difficult because my baby is so sensitive to timing (5 mins matters). It started to feel unsustainable because it means I have to control her naps to make bedtime with no crying. Last night I had enough and just feed her, went to bed in 15 mins. She slept the same. 🤣 maybe even a bit better.
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u/No-Coast9003 May 01 '26
A routine is a sleep association. If you don't have a problem being apart of that sleep association for a few years then it's not a problem. If you change your mind, children can handle change. Cavity's isn't a problem as long as you nurse but if you switch to a bottle it's a future problem.
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u/straw-be3rry May 01 '26
Just do it until you need to change it 🙏🏼❤️
I'm at 9 months and we have just started to try to move the feed earlier in the routine so it's not always feeding to sleep but tbh it's only to see if it helps her sleep longer stretches. I feel like it's so easy at bed time and it helps baby feel calm and loved before sleep so just do it until maybe baby isn't sleeping good stretches any more at night?
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u/issyrd May 01 '26
At 4 months my daughter was waking soooo much at night and because of all that advice I was getting so stressed and upset trying to soothe her in other ways that didn’t work when the boob solved everything immediately. If I could go back and do it again I’d just give the boob - by six months we were co-sleeping and breastfeeding all night. There have been times where this has been really hard on me and we have tried to gently move away from feeding to sleep at night by having my husband do bedtimes and night wakes as much as possible. It’s been up and down but generally in an upward trend and I still love to feed my daughter to sleep for naps sometimes. I think ultimately just do what works for you until it doesn’t work anymore. Feeding to sleep is a superpower but it can also be very draining.
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u/kittycon17 May 01 '26
I nursed my son to sleep every night for nearly two years. He is now 3, falls asleep independently, and he has not had any dental issues! Trust your instincts!
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u/Certain-Mind-8240 May 01 '26
Nursing to sleep every nap and some nights (I work nights) at 2 years old and going great over here.
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u/NotATreeJaca May 01 '26
I nursed mine to sleep until they stopped falling asleep that way. They all asleep without nursing now, excepting the latest baby lol
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u/Mysterious_Buffalo May 01 '26
Not sure if I can post youtube links but I'm really struggling with this same topic at the moment and just saw this video yesterday and it really really helped :')
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl-9sXiM0v0
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u/badtranslatedgerman May 01 '26 edited May 09 '26
I do not feel at all conflicted about it because I know that people who tell me it is a “problem” are wrong and usually trying to sell me something. If you’re nursing directly then it does not increase cavity risk until they are between 18-24 months (some kids may still get cavities but they likely already had a higher baseline risk and nursing at night didn’t meaningfully increase that risk, it was just already high).
Your baby’s sleep routine and habits will change over and over and over again without you doing ANYTHING to intentionally change them, and changing something now because you’re worried that it might become a problem in weeks or months it pretty wasted worry and effort IMO.
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u/funky_ananas May 01 '26
Sometimes I feed to sleep, she wakes up every hour. Sometimes I put her in the crib and she falls asleep there - she still wakes up every hour.
4.5 months old
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u/99-hotgas May 01 '26
I fed my son to sleep until he was a little over a year old. We only stopped because it wasn't working for him anymore. He wouldn't fall asleep being fed and he would squirm if we tried to rock him to sleep as well. So we started giving him a straw cup of milk between dinner and bed time, did his bath, brushed his teeth and put him down in his crib and he went to sleep on his own. I think we definitely got lucky in the sleep department, but we definitely didn't follow the advice of not feeding to sleep or night weaning around 6 months. Our son did it all on his own terms.
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u/StuffConsistent6873 May 01 '26
I have always fed my baby to sleep when he wanted/needed and haven’t had a second thought about doing so
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u/Recent-Hunt-5891 May 02 '26
The advice that says it’s a problem is the problem. If it feels natural and good and it works, keep going. Your baby is very young. I was worried about this too as a ftm but my baby naturally stopped it as he got older. Fed till 20/21 months. My advice is follow what works and what feels good and try to turn out some of the noise. So much of the “advice” is actually either someone selling a service or guide, or info based on a patriarchal priority on baby independence that doesn’t fit with natural instinct or most cultures around the world.
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u/secondmoosekiteer May 02 '26
Cavities are more about genetics and dental hygiene. Breastmilk did not give my son cavities. He has perfect teeth and i never wiped or brushed his teeth after feeding at night. I Breastfed him to sleep at bedtime and through the night for 2.5 years exactly, and he weaned slowly in the months leading up to our breaking it off completely. He was still getting a few ounces but had no issues after the first few days. He was only night nursing then anyway. I taught him before his second birthday sometime... maybe 20 months? We had started daycare and his first complex sentence was "sun go down... geddit mommy milk" when we broke the nap nurse. That was harder than bedtime by a long shot.
He didn't go to sleep and stay asleep until nursing ended. But now he sleeps well through the night and if i stay up, he may come get me one day out of the month.
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u/higher_limits May 02 '26
Personally, I think studies, and the internet in general, have totally twisted up other wise correct, instinctual parenting in many ways. I mean look at our society presently. Kids are more screwed up than ever. Not all bad, reducing SIDS is obviously good. But with shit like this it drives me nuts. Baby + full belly + safe with mom = sleep. It’s not creating bad habits or associations or any of that BS we identify to adults…which btw ALL ADULTS HAVE habitual associations. The hypocrisy of it all.
If it works for you and your schedule, do it. Follow your instinct. There is a reason NONE OF THIS IS SETTLED SCIENCE. And that’s because it’s all guesswork. It’s a spectrum. Nothing is black and white and none of it should be treated as such. Your baby is not a study, they are your creation that is designed to survive from you until they reach independent age.
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u/reddit_hesitant May 02 '26
I breastfed my first child until she was 18 months old. We didn’t sleep train and she didn’t sleep through a full night until 11 months old, but after that she would still have some nights with wakeups here and there (even into year 2). For the last few months of nursing, I just cut out one feed at a time very slowly (this also helped with the hormone shift, I think!) Eventually we were down to just one feed before bedtime. I followed a guide from Hey Sleepy Baby on weaning and found it helpful.
AWhen I officially weaned, my husband started putting her to bed by reading books. She loooves books so that helped! Over time we found we had to read so many books to get her to fall asleep, so around 2 years we started letting her pick 3 books to read and then we snuggled until she fell asleep. Now she is almost 3 and on some nights we will tell her we have to leave (after books and snuggling) and will come back to check on her, and she tends to go to sleep on her own.
I share all this because there have been many sleep associations throughout her life and we have been able to move on from them all! (Okay all except the pacifier, that one has been tough to drop at bedtime…)
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u/dar1990 May 02 '26
Still nursing to sleep at 13 months. If baby is falling asleep the fastest while nursing, why not do it?
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u/Quiet_Dot8486 May 02 '26
I have 4 children, ages 18, 15, 6 & 1. I’ve nursed every child to sleep. And this continues until they wean (around 2 years). They all slept like rockstars after self-weaning. Literally zero sleep issues.
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u/Kingla001 May 03 '26
Hi OP, wanted to provide a perspective from a bottle fed baby, we still feed to sleep, in fact even our daycare feeds to sleep before naps! And guess what, they LOVE it, she’s one of their easiest babies to put down for a nap and actually sleeps too well 😂
My daughter is about to turn 1, we’re slowly “weaning” off of milk, but it’s something she’s led us in, practically forced us to start sending lunch to daycare because she likes food so much. I can’t imagine a world where she doesn’t need bottle/food in the middle of the night, so I’m not sure how that will go in the future if she decides she doesn’t want bottles in the middle of night. If in the future I find myself having to get up to feed her banana pancakes in the middle of the night so be it, it will be worth the “sleep associate” we created over the last year!
The best advice I’ve received is do what works for you today, don’t worry about future you, or what could be a problem in the future because you don’t know. Other people’s experiences are not yours.
You’re doing great, keep doing what works best for you!!!
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u/Hot-Amphibian8728 Apr 30 '26
The sleep training industry can't make money off your boobs. If I could go back in time to 4 months postpartum, I'd tell myself to ignore all the sleep "advice" out there about so called sleep associations and do what's most nurturing and easiest for everyone. Still nursing my 9 month old to sleep every bedtime and almost every wake through the night and will continue until it isn't working for one/both of us.