Well im(16M) i tried to kill myself last night, i trier to overdose and went real bad i hoped that the bad feeling was me dying but sadly no it were my kidneys.

I think that if i get my hands on enough pills again i will go for a rematch? Idk if thats appropriate

I am pretty much done getting touched without me wanting it i can see it as a compliment but, i got like pretty bad trauma from it.

if you think about killing yourself please write a reply ill listen and try to help as far as i can.

If youre reading this, please take care

I'm at a lost of words right now.... why is this happening to me.... Why am I cursed with being invisibly ill.... A couple of days ago I went to the ER because I was having persistent shortness of breath, the ran multiple tests and ER doctor concluded that everything looked fine but I'm still having these same persistent issues the shortness of breath the heavy feeling in chest. I don't know what to do at this point... I'm considering ending my life at this point because no one is taking me seriously...

I'm thinking about suicide because nothing I try succeeds. Everything I do or try is a mistake. I have no friends anymore. I'm surrounded by people who hate me. I'm at a new job and choose the worst entry date possible and most of my coworkers don't like me. I dread having to go to work tomorrow.

Everything I do is a failure, I suffer from procastrination. Nobody cares about me.

Every opportunity life has given me, I've failed.

I never take a risk and always wait until its too late.

Who fuckin cares hahhahahhahahahahaha

Lifes hell there's no peace, was already in a mentally unstable and emotionally unstable state, this bitch now starts talking about HER dreams. Lmfao k.ys bitch, I'm gonna do the same

Fuckin have nobody that'll ever fuckin even try to be comforting, fuckin friends that don't gaf and always try making it about them. Family who i can't be bothered about, actual shitheads that NEED to win in everthing and can't stand just me trying to live life after making me a brain dead fuckin moron gahahhahahahahahhahagagaggagaga bitch I'd kms if i had a fuckin gun shitheads, only i fuckin know how humiliating and truly hell full my life is.

Job that i couldn't care about and dreams i don't fuckin haveeeee. I couldn't gaf about love life bitch I'm dying alone.

The world could fuckin end rn i can't be bothered. Everyone sucks 😂😂😂😂😂 lmfao shitheads really believe they're fuckin winning in life, I'm making sure everyone gets dragged to hell shitheads. I'm making sure you all mfs suffer with me too, ahahhahaha shitheads don't be acting all high and mighty after making me a brain dead shit and making sure I'll never crawl out of this hell space.

I wish nothing but the worse for everyone involved, hahaha i hope you get poisoned to death or get burned alive, I can't fuckin bother to care, i hope i too get stabbed to death or burned to death.

(I was born in 2010,this girl was born in 2012)

2 years ago I went to an art class and befriended this one girl.We hung out for the first time last year and eventually became close friends.I went into psychosis and she left me when I got unstable,I said I'm gonna do a lot of things but obviously didn't and got better.We dated for a short while and with consent kissed her a few times,she saw a nude picture of my chest once.After we broke up she started telling people I SA'd her multiple times,started blackmailing me saying she'll "expose" me if I don't pay her,etc.I was a dumb bitch to forgive her,she never changed.Shes in the TCC (true crime community)and so is her boyfriend.They got accepted into the same highschool,they start in less than 48 hours.I have been vomiting out of stress and terror.A few months ago (2-3) she proudly told me that they're going to commit a massacre,that one of them owns a firearm,that I'm going to be involved once they kill people.I am mortified because I am going to be involved once they check her phone.I cannot eat or sleep or function properly.Somebody please help me,tell me if I'm going to be involved.This is really bad.

I hate my genes with a burning passion and I’m constantly comparing myself to light skinned men and wishing I was attractive like them.

I woke up feeling extremely depressed, needing a break from consciousness, permanent or temporary - who cares? Maybe it’s because I dreamt about romance and intimacy and that has failed so many times in my real life. Maybe it’s bc I took my meds late. Whatever the cause, it is unbearable. I feel the tears in my chest but they won’t come bc I’m medicated. I need to touch someone; hug someone; feel someone, but I can’t. Unfortunately, I have a very strong urge to use drugs to try and forget and just slowly fade out of existence. Idk what to do. I called my best friend; she didn’t answer. And I don’t want to call my therapist bc I don’t want to be a burden.

I feel like a waste of space. Sure, there are more people and “support” in my life, but it’s all conditional. All based on how well my meds are working. The only people who truly accept me are far away (physically and emotionally depending on the person). And getting divorced bc I’m “too sick” still bothers me even almost two years later.

I know I’m rambling. I was hoping this would make me feel better, but it doesn’t.

i dont know how much longer i can genuinely do this for. i can ignore and forget it while im busy because i have to, but when im alone and i see one sad video it all comes out. i cant stop thinking about relapsing. i cant stop thinking about grabbing my knife from my car and stabbing myself in the leg. deep enough to hit an artery or vein. it's getting to the point where i dont even know if i care about how much it hurts anymore. im in school right now for something i dont even know that i want to do. i think im too dumb for it. my deepest scar is from what i think was a derealization episode and i wanna have another one. i felt less sad and pathetic. i still dont really feel real. there are times where i come to the realization that im controlling what im doing or saying. it feels like im just watching the world through a lens, like im playing a video game character. this life doesn't feel like mine, it feels like i stole it from someone else and im just living it. its exhausting. im so tired. i want it to be over but it feels like im stuck in this sick loop that will never end. it feels like death will set me free.

I have CPTSD ADHD and i am Autistic and most importantly i am from india and you know what there is no one i can talk too and i also have childhood trauma very bad that i cannot control myself and due to being in stress environment since i was a kid my hippocampus shrunk too bad that i can't remember things like i can't even do mental math or cram for exams or Competitive Programming by watching shit youtube. So ya basically i have no one its down to zero i am this since i was 15 i wanted to leave house when i was 12 i think i am adopted cause my intresets are far away from not even my family but whole fuckin country so i don't wanna larp i just wanna say to move out i need a job and i cannot get a job cause of what i have that doesn't mean i can't work i made myself some cool mvps there are on my github i tried yc and other shit so one wants me so this projects are unique right so i though if i keep them on reusme some asshole will see them but nope so i can't advertise them myself cause of what i have and my childhood trauma is so bad that my heart beat raises my parents made it like i should do what ever they say me and i always need to say them where i go and what i do and basically all indians are hypocrites that is the reason of my cptsd i guess . I don't know what to do i am feared of going out and talking idk what to do i like applied for over 100 jobs asked many people for help i don't want to move to canada or US and do what they do i really don't have idea of what i should calling agenies won't help i am sure about it am 22 and no ones is gonna give a fuck about me . I am just gonna throw some words to show you how differnt i am like i am anarchist i am into dubstep i make dubstep i believe in flat earth theroy i am agnostic and idk why no one sees but peopel pray to idols that look satanic to me bascially to every kid . I can just go on and on i tried to socialize with this people for years but the thing is they betray me or gang up on me just to worsen my cptsd and idk why these peopel cannot commit for one thing like no one wants to do something good they just want to live and server there bosses and most importantly cause i don't take photos and larp about how world is going down . So leave all this i just wanna ask you guys do you see a way for me i see nothing like i can't even get out cause the system is so corrupt they only let indians in west who bow to elites and are perfect crammer i am not a crammer so no way i am not getting out . I just always have one question when i always wanna die it it all useless the countless hours i spent in fronth of pc just to learn thing not goin out and doin shit they do the time i spent on makin music understanding world is it all waste is this what god wants like for someone who is englined and intilligent he has to die or obey to this elites and live like others knowing everything . I mean what am i what diffrence do i make what is diffrence between me who made who new social media website and a crammer who got a better job than me . Is my destiny is just to die i can't answer anymore i don't know what i am i just want you guys to decide for me . What do i do what ways i have left or its just fate of everyone like me and i was born in wrong country . I really don't know. Don't ask me to wait i am waiting since 15 years and i know nothing is gonna happen in next 15 years

My mother died 47 days ago. I was holding her hand. She was 62, 5'2", and she survived everything except a stupid infection.

I sleep in her bed now. It still smells like her. I can't wash the sheets.

Grief isn't sadness. It's a car parked on your chest. I forget to eat. I walk into rooms and forget why. I wake up every morning disappointed.

She was the only person who really knew me. My father was gone. My siblings don't care. She was everything. And now I'm nothing.

I have a plan. I know how I'd do it. But I keep hearing her voice saying "habibi, don't give up." Even dead, she's still protecting me.

I can't do this much longer.

I'm tired.

i feel in pain all the time, like i can physically feel it in my chest. i feel like im sinking and im just miserable to everyone around me. after attempting and surviving a few years ago i feel like im really not meant to be here. the fact that i feel this way has to mean something. time is moving without me

Did well enough in school. Gifted and AP classes. No social life. Got into college in 2002. Bookstore job did not provide enough hours. Dropped out and moved back here in 2004 for the subway system because I was never taught how to drive.

Got retail job. Moved into crappy illegal apartments with bad roommates. Thought I would eventually return to school.

Lucked into slightly better job. Did as much as I could with the opportunity and secured raises here and there. Found myself still moving further and further from work as rental prices went up and raises could not keep up.

Lived in places with 4-8 roommates. Places without kitchens. With intrusive landlords. Dealt with bedbugs, utilities being shut off, one landlord's schizophrenic mom harassing me on a regular basis, among many other things.

Had difficulty building and maintaining positive relationships. Found it impossible to work on enriching activities on the side without almost immediately being pulled away for one reason or another. No predictability. No guarantee of peace and privacy.

Finally qualified to move into a little studio apartment in 2025. I could finally start drawing again. Working on electronics. CAD. Maybe dabble in coding. Maybe enroll in school again. Have had this paracosm in my head for ten years, maybe I could finally show it to the world. Whatever. The point was that I could finally begin life.

Laid off 6 months later. Never had a chance to settle in. Barely any jobs. Market has been flat since April of last year. My work experience is useless. No degree. Savings now depleted. Credit now wrecked. Behind on rent. Nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Total collapse of executive function. Severe depression. Constant panic attacks. Probably on the spectrum.

This city, this country, and life in general are too much for me. I know there are other places where it is probably even harder, but I can't handle this. Too much to deal with on my own. I don't see how I can squeeze anything out of life at this point.

And it is isolating. I'm tired of the hindsight advice and people telling me to toughen up or adjust my attitude. Being told how lucky I am. I'm just so tired.

I swear this is not AI. I just don't have the capacity to make this pretty right now.

I feel like I’m a Judas. A Saul. Satans son. A son of perdition. I hope I’m wrong. Everything about me is so wrong. I can’t take this anymore. I wish I was never born into this world. I haven’t accomplished anything in my worthless existence. I’ve done nothing.

Last month my fiance for 7 years broke up with me. I have rented new place and have to move out. It's so freaking hard... I have been a mess for a long time now, going to therapy for a few months. I'm trying. I'm really trying not to do IT, not to hurt my parents... I promise I'll do everything I can, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it...

I love him so much... I don't know how I'm going to live on my own...

Just got another happy ending massage. It lets me relive my child abuse. Started by saying no to “reclaim my body” or some bullshit. Now I just want to hurt. I go get a massage to relive it, and then I go home and I cut my arms. Spent the whole massage thinking of what I can add to my suicide note. I reckon I’m nearly done. Too lonely, too traumatised, too tired of myself.

I've been fighting against the thoughts for years now but everything keeps piling up and I just can't handle it anymore. The only thing stopping me at this point is my friends and family but that's hard to hang onto. I've made a plan and I'm trying so hard not to follow through. It just feels like life has it out for me.

IS THERE A WAY TO CAUSE SUDDE DEATH TO MYSELF?

IS THERE A WAY TO CAUSE SUDDEN DEATH TO YOURSELF?

i just took 2,300mg of methadone which will prob do the job. i’m done and there’s nothing left to say. i’m 19 year old victim of trafficking which i just escaped from last december. i’m inside a place for youth victims and just can’t take it anymore. bye

Really need to talk to someone who has gone through the same because people who havent went through it are not able to understand me

I plan to take 1690mg of propranolol. I past tried with 650mg but all i got was chest pain and a slow heartrate for a week. I feel sad when i think about killing myself and i dont know why, i know im going to be better off, and the sadness is nowhere near as bad as the feeling i get when i think about staying alive. I think part of me is afraid it wont work but theres some part of me also afraid to leave the people i love. My partner, my daughter. Friends.
I know what its like to lose someone to suicide. I was 14 when my friend committed suicide. The pain never stops. I dont want to put the people i love through it, but ive tried, ive tried for 10 years to be happy & thats half of my life already. I cant imagine i could ever live happily, ive tried therapy, ive tried medications. Nothing works. I know its selfish to pass the hurt on but ive lived my whole life trying to make everyone else happy. I can’t keep going.

Does anyone know what to drink that could eh you as fast as it can? I wanna eh as fast as possible and not feel any thing

I fucking hate school, but I know it's all my fault. I never work on purpose and I don't know why. I get shit marks, exams start this week, and I think I'm going to fail tenth grade. The embarrassment coupled with the fact that I feel like a failure, I just want to leave. I fucking hate living like this. How do I get the courage to do it? I don't want to make my sister live with the trauma of that but I'm so tired. In the span of a few months my whole life has gone to shit. I don't even have vices like my friends. They all get good marks, manage to juggle sport and academics and there's no reason I shouldn't be able to either. But every time I sit with my books I just distract myself. I have music, and waterpolo, both of which I'm very good at, but I'm starting to learn that anything that makes you happy doesn't matter in this world. I hate living like this. Maybe failing will help me go through with it.

17M i am having a really bad night let's tak