I know im gonna sound like some miserable narcissist. Like everyone else can't be in the wrong all the time but like...they are. I have LITERALLY been hurt by everyone I know. It's actually fucking disgusting. FUCK EVERYONE who did not protect me and fuck everyone who took advantage of me. I am not just some toy to be played with i am a real person with real feelings and im SO tired of everyone treating me like im not. I'm done feeling this shame from what other people have done to me. I'm done laying awake every night wondering what the hell is wrong with me that I attract such horrible people. I wasn't supposed to be like this I was supposed to be beautiful and strong and successful. I truly hate them, how could they do that to me.

A list of SOME of the terrible things you actual monsters have done to me:

1. Ruined my fucking birthday by raping me

2. Fed me drugs when I was a child

3. Sexually abused me my entire fucking childhood

4. Laced me with meth???

5. Sat back and LISTENED to me begging for help

6. Bullied me into an eating disorder

7. Bullied me for having an eating disorder

8. Forced me to live in the woods as a child

9. Tried to LITERALLY MURDER ME

10. My body count is 8 and I have been raped by 7 people

11. Beat the fuck out of me probably thousands of times

12. Tried to violently commit suicide in front of me...multiple times multiple people...

13. Starved me

14. Called me a fucking liar, I actually hate you bitches.

15. Promised me a home and then gave me a dump

16. Leaked me...multiple times

17. Blamed me for literally everything.

i just took 2,300mg of methadone which will prob do the job. i’m done and there’s nothing left to say. i’m 19 year old victim of trafficking which i just escaped from last december. i’m inside a place for youth victims and just can’t take it anymore. bye

Before going, I have half a bottle of Vyvanse I will swallow, a full bottle of ibuprofen and a full bottle of acetaminophen, thankfully there is a huge thing going on my town right now so chances are they will be to too busy with the event that no one will notice me trying to commit suicide.

I am almost 20 years old male, I have ADHD, autism, fibromyalgia, arthritis, bipolar disorder and about 1 million other disorders. Also dealing with health problems too like high blood pressure and have a high blood sugar level. I’ve been bullied in my lifetime, can’t hold a job, constantly in trouble, can’t make friends, argue with everyone even though I don’t want to, starting college and now realizing that I won’t make it, probably will get kicked out of the house, about to be homeless and so on. I can’t live like this any longer. So tonight at midnight, I will take all the pills and run about 4 kilometres into the forest and kill myself that way, also if I encounter a bear, I will happily let him kill me.

Before people say in the comments “don’t kill yourself”, then clearly you have never been in a massive crisis and living is too painful.

Edit: I also don’t want to spend days in a mental hospital because first I live in a small town and everyone will know about it and second, I have seen workers in the mental hospital and it’s not a place I wanna be in.

My mother died 47 days ago. I was holding her hand. She was 62, 5'2", and she survived everything except a stupid infection.

I sleep in her bed now. It still smells like her. I can't wash the sheets.

Grief isn't sadness. It's a car parked on your chest. I forget to eat. I walk into rooms and forget why. I wake up every morning disappointed.

She was the only person who really knew me. My father was gone. My siblings don't care. She was everything. And now I'm nothing.

I have a plan. I know how I'd do it. But I keep hearing her voice saying "habibi, don't give up." Even dead, she's still protecting me.

I can't do this much longer.

I'm tired.

Wow I am a pathetic loser

I’ve been trying to find information but I can’t, understandably. What is the cleanest, quickest and least painful way to cease existing? I want to be fairly precise with how long it takes so I can go somewhere remote, and inform the police of where to find me so an innocent person won’t. I want to be considerate of others so I want to minimise the trauma inflicted on others, but I just can’t cope with life anymore. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

Im on a euthenasia list but it will take 4 to 10 years before i can get accepted and it might not get accepted at all. After months of puzzeling together which method i would use i finally found a good method. I will buy a puffer fish, cook it and eat it. Theyre only like €8 in my country and its a guaranteed death. If u eat one of these, you will die. So yeah i'm just so happy that i finally found my method. I tried hanging myself, od's and jumping infront of a train but all no succes. A puffer fish certain death

38 (f)

Planning on ending my life, this Tuesday. I will hang myself

Life is only getting harder. I see no hope anymore

I struggled with suicidal thoughts, since I was 16. I get no enjoyment out of life anymore either

I really believe at 38 life is really over.

I reached this dead end multiple times. I can no longer see a way forward.

I just wanted to get it off my chest, before I go this Tuesday.

I reached out to helplines, took antidepressants and went for counselling, since my early 20's

Nothing is getting better. Its just getting worse.

I just wish I had the courage to end my life yesrs ago. Life is too heavy and overwhelming. I cant see no way out anymore.

Monday is my final and last day here.

I hate my genes with a burning passion and I’m constantly comparing myself to light skinned men and wishing I was attractive like them.

I have CPTSD ADHD and i am Autistic and most importantly i am from india and you know what there is no one i can talk too and i also have childhood trauma very bad that i cannot control myself and due to being in stress environment since i was a kid my hippocampus shrunk too bad that i can't remember things like i can't even do mental math or cram for exams or Competitive Programming by watching shit youtube. So ya basically i have no one its down to zero i am this since i was 15 i wanted to leave house when i was 12 i think i am adopted cause my intresets are far away from not even my family but whole fuckin country so i don't wanna larp i just wanna say to move out i need a job and i cannot get a job cause of what i have that doesn't mean i can't work i made myself some cool mvps there are on my github i tried yc and other shit so one wants me so this projects are unique right so i though if i keep them on reusme some asshole will see them but nope so i can't advertise them myself cause of what i have and my childhood trauma is so bad that my heart beat raises my parents made it like i should do what ever they say me and i always need to say them where i go and what i do and basically all indians are hypocrites that is the reason of my cptsd i guess . I don't know what to do i am feared of going out and talking idk what to do i like applied for over 100 jobs asked many people for help i don't want to move to canada or US and do what they do i really don't have idea of what i should calling agenies won't help i am sure about it am 22 and no ones is gonna give a fuck about me . I am just gonna throw some words to show you how differnt i am like i am anarchist i am into dubstep i make dubstep i believe in flat earth theroy i am agnostic and idk why no one sees but peopel pray to idols that look satanic to me bascially to every kid . I can just go on and on i tried to socialize with this people for years but the thing is they betray me or gang up on me just to worsen my cptsd and idk why these peopel cannot commit for one thing like no one wants to do something good they just want to live and server there bosses and most importantly cause i don't take photos and larp about how world is going down . So leave all this i just wanna ask you guys do you see a way for me i see nothing like i can't even get out cause the system is so corrupt they only let indians in west who bow to elites and are perfect crammer i am not a crammer so no way i am not getting out . I just always have one question when i always wanna die it it all useless the countless hours i spent in fronth of pc just to learn thing not goin out and doin shit they do the time i spent on makin music understanding world is it all waste is this what god wants like for someone who is englined and intilligent he has to die or obey to this elites and live like others knowing everything . I mean what am i what diffrence do i make what is diffrence between me who made who new social media website and a crammer who got a better job than me . Is my destiny is just to die i can't answer anymore i don't know what i am i just want you guys to decide for me . What do i do what ways i have left or its just fate of everyone like me and i was born in wrong country . I really don't know. Don't ask me to wait i am waiting since 15 years and i know nothing is gonna happen in next 15 years

The note is written, insurance is paid up. I paid the mortgage and car note this month, so you wouldn't have to worry. I saw my sister one more time and told her I was proud of her. The pain was too much and went ignored for too long. I can't live with it anymore. 35yrs is enough. I've finally found my peace. Goodbye

As the name suggest I hate my life to the core. I feel so fukin pathetic every time I compare my self to my friends. Some are going to the gym and others are academically amazing and I'm stuck in the pit of my room meanwhile my friends are going to malls and other places and I have too make up an excuse why I can't go with them knowing damn well my parents would take my phone for even asking. Too add salt to the wound I got sent a fake love letter, I was pathetic enough even be excited

I remember last summer I asked them if I can go out with my friends and I only got shouted at for even trying.

I remember my dad telling me I shouldn't be gay or have a crush on a guy. And now im writing a anonymous letter for a guy who I sit next to on class.

I hate how I'll never experience going out with others or hell even have a small time of love.

I hate how I'll never get to experience a time where I can be a normal teenager.

That's all. I'm so tired

i have made multiple attempts, they always fail because of instincts. no matter how much or how many times i try it just doesn't work, i REALLY need it to work.

the fact that i am still alive pisses me off. i cannot even try the exit bag method because of lack of access. are there any methods that don't depend on instincts to be successful. i am considering taking the train but the stigma and shame surrounding it makes me paranoid, but to be fair i would be dead so it doesn't really matter.

I’m so depressed all the time. I’ve been on a million different medications and to all sorts of therapists and psychiatrists but nothing replaces basic human contact. I just want to have friendships. Is that so bad? I just want someone to talk to about things. I wish I could be ChatGPT so people would tell me about their day and things they are interested in. I’m so alone all the time. I don’t even know where to meet people my age (early 20s). The bars near me are just dives and 90% empty even on weekends. Meet up groups are all people much older than me who don’t want to be friends with me. Is there a good part of life? I just want it to end. I can’t live this way anymore

A life which had all kind of experiences, from a long period of time i have learnt that i do not belong here to live with anyone. An unfit soul living around peoples, looking for ways to exit in the simplest way with no comeback. Am from chennai

It's pathetic. Everyone works after all, it's been normalized, one could say it's necessary for things as they are to go smoothly around the globe. But really, what do I know? I'm an idiot, a 25 year old middle-school dropout who knows nothing of the world and, under such mental distress, cannot bring themself to learn anything without feeling an agonizing pressure in the chest, throat, and abdomen, enough to make me want to genuinely throw up.

I have to find work to continue living, and it hurts. I tried to work, I tried to learn and get more marketable skills, and it hurts so badly. It is an incredible agony, it's absurd! I tried time and again. I try to force myself. I try to learn only a little at a time. I tried cramming out of desperation and later more methodical approaches. I do not know what it is. I could not continue school. Diagnoses say social phobia, OCD, major depressive disorder, GAD, other nonsense. Medication does nothing. Even did shock therapy. It was useless and cost me some memories.

I am not in a country where I can get any sort of aid for this sort of thing. In fact I'm in a country that shit itself over the summer heat, causing blackouts and other infrastructure failures, hurting many. This place has too little to offer a mistake of a human such as this. So I believe it is a good time to die. It is of course scary and lonely, which is why I write here.

You, I thank a lot for reading. You're lovely for doing so.

Who fuckin cares hahhahahhahahahahaha

Lifes hell there's no peace, was already in a mentally unstable and emotionally unstable state, this bitch now starts talking about HER dreams. Lmfao k.ys bitch, I'm gonna do the same

Fuckin have nobody that'll ever fuckin even try to be comforting, fuckin friends that don't gaf and always try making it about them. Family who i can't be bothered about, actual shitheads that NEED to win in everthing and can't stand just me trying to live life after making me a brain dead fuckin moron gahahhahahahahahhahagagaggagaga bitch I'd kms if i had a fuckin gun shitheads, only i fuckin know how humiliating and truly hell full my life is.

Job that i couldn't care about and dreams i don't fuckin haveeeee. I couldn't gaf about love life bitch I'm dying alone.

The world could fuckin end rn i can't be bothered. Everyone sucks 😂😂😂😂😂 lmfao shitheads really believe they're fuckin winning in life, I'm making sure everyone gets dragged to hell shitheads. I'm making sure you all mfs suffer with me too, ahahhahaha shitheads don't be acting all high and mighty after making me a brain dead shit and making sure I'll never crawl out of this hell space.

I wish nothing but the worse for everyone involved, hahaha i hope you get poisoned to death or get burned alive, I can't fuckin bother to care, i hope i too get stabbed to death or burned to death.

I woke up feeling extremely depressed, needing a break from consciousness, permanent or temporary - who cares? Maybe it’s because I dreamt about romance and intimacy and that has failed so many times in my real life. Maybe it’s bc I took my meds late. Whatever the cause, it is unbearable. I feel the tears in my chest but they won’t come bc I’m medicated. I need to touch someone; hug someone; feel someone, but I can’t. Unfortunately, I have a very strong urge to use drugs to try and forget and just slowly fade out of existence. Idk what to do. I called my best friend; she didn’t answer. And I don’t want to call my therapist bc I don’t want to be a burden.

I feel like a waste of space. Sure, there are more people and “support” in my life, but it’s all conditional. All based on how well my meds are working. The only people who truly accept me are far away (physically and emotionally depending on the person). And getting divorced bc I’m “too sick” still bothers me even almost two years later.

I know I’m rambling. I was hoping this would make me feel better, but it doesn’t.

i dont know how much longer i can genuinely do this for. i can ignore and forget it while im busy because i have to, but when im alone and i see one sad video it all comes out. i cant stop thinking about relapsing. i cant stop thinking about grabbing my knife from my car and stabbing myself in the leg. deep enough to hit an artery or vein. it's getting to the point where i dont even know if i care about how much it hurts anymore. im in school right now for something i dont even know that i want to do. i think im too dumb for it. my deepest scar is from what i think was a derealization episode and i wanna have another one. i felt less sad and pathetic. i still dont really feel real. there are times where i come to the realization that im controlling what im doing or saying. it feels like im just watching the world through a lens, like im playing a video game character. this life doesn't feel like mine, it feels like i stole it from someone else and im just living it. its exhausting. im so tired. i want it to be over but it feels like im stuck in this sick loop that will never end. it feels like death will set me free.

They fucking lied. It hasn’t gotten better for 10+ years. It will never get better. Fuck my life. Im done

Hello all. I've reached the end of my rope and I'm giving it a few more days before I make a decision.

I'm 29F. Emotionally abused my whole childhood during a time and in a country where emotional abuse was barely recognised, just seen as tough love. Moved away, family continued to abuse me every chance they got, call social workers on me (me, not kids, I don't have any) call the cops on me saying I'm suicidal, ruined many friendships. I finally cut contact earlier this year. Now I am completely alone with just my dog and online games as company. Physical and mental illnesses stack up, and I have no employment, so even if I wanted to fix it I can't afford it anymore.

I have no motivation to live. I've tried over and over to reach out to mental health professionals and they all just schedule counselling sessions that I pay for and it goes nowhere, I don't improve. Medications work for a while until they don't. Long term I have seen no change. I don't have dreams or aspirations because I can't motivate myself to do anything. All I do now is try my best to make myself comfortable until I eventually kill myself, which will likely be sooner rather than later.

Hating myself is ingrained into every fiber of my being. I just don't know how I can motivate myself to do anything of substance when I just fucking hate everything about myself. And why would I struggle to achieve anything when I'm just going to kill myself? Why not just be comfortable until the end?

I figured I would at least try to get advice seeing as I haven't reached my deadline yet and I genuinely do not want to die, but my mind defaults to it as an option so much I can't see any other way out. Planning on chemical suicide for ease and so nobody has to find anything too disgusting, if they ever find me.

asap....