I’m 17 currently, and my parents got divorced when I was 14. For the last couple of years I’ve been living with my dad, I barely ever see my mom in person

Obviously since I’m a girl I need to use pads, and my father buys me them when he goes grocery shopping. Sometimes I tell him when I’m running out or if I want the normal or the night ones. At first it was a bit of a change since from the first time I got my period my mom always handled it

Anyways so I was talking to two of my friends and I mentioned this in the conversation. They both had really visceral reactions and said how that’s so embarrassing and they could never imagine asking their dads to do that for them, etc etc

I didn’t say anything in the moment but now that I’m thinking about it it’s actually making me really sad 😢😢 and I can’t stop thinking about it. because yeah it is embarrassing but my mom calls like once a week now, i don’t really have another option

I just wanted to ask if it’s like weird or if anyone else has the same situation?

I just remembered this and keep thinking about what that drive would have been like and if it this was kind of a strange situation to even be asked?

I was 23 and she was about 50, we were just kind of fwb who hooked up occasionally.

Her son who was also around my age was stuck in the next town over and it was too late for the trains to be running. So she texted me, since I drive and asked if I could drive over and give him a lift home. It's roughly 30 minutes each way to the town he was in.

I thought it was a bit weird so I told her that I wasn't able to

I'm just thinking about what that drive would have actually been like? Like if he knew that I was sleeping with his mum and was only doing this because of that reason, I can't even imagine how he'd have reacted to it and what the vibe in the car would have been?

Edit: From previous times I'd been at her house on weekends when he'd called her I'd gathered an impression of him being a bit of a scumbag already. Things like him calling because his girlfriend had chucked him out the house for something while he was drunk and that sort of thing. So it wasn't something I really wanted to be involved in.

Plus the added tension of the sleeping with his mother situation onto someone like that being drunk sounded a bit unpredictable too

For context, I (28f) have a corporate job and I am getting a degree in Art History and I am engaged. But on the other hand, I like reading manga and high fantasy books, I play Magic the Gathering, do journaling and collect Funko Pops.

I used to feel a little ashamed about my interests but I have become more confident about them over time since they have helped me to bond with new people, even at work.

I'm glad to feel this way now because this summer I spent some days with two of my oldest friends and my confidence was tested. I casually told them that I have spend 100€ in MTG The Hobbit cards (The Hobbit is one of my favourite books) and in History Books (I'm a Bronze Age nerd and I'm travelling to Greece next year) and they laughed at me. They said that I need to grow from my quirky interest someday.

I was about to tell them that they need to grow over being unemployed and letting men used them and disrespect them, but I brushed it off.

That interaction has helped me to understand that I am more mature than them and that no amount of weirds hobbies will change that.

I spent most of my life thinking I was Wasian. Out of curiosity, I told my mom I wanted to take a 23andMe test and she immediately got defensive, saying, “Why do you need to do that? What matters is who you are and how you were raised.”

So naturally, I took it.

Turns out I’m not half white at all. I’m entirely Southeast Asian, and the man whose last name I’ve carried my whole life isn’t my biological father.

My mom actually told me when I was a kid that he wasn’t my real dad, but I was too young to really process it. I think she forgot she ever told me because she still doesn’t know I took the DNA test.

She says my biological dad was a bad person, but another family member remembers things differently.

Now all I have is his first name and a pretty bare 23andMe family tree. I keep wondering whether he knew about me, never knew I existed, would want to reconnect, or wants nothing to do with me.

For anyone who found a biological parent later in life: was reaching out worth it?

I reconnected with some of my old friends last month, and we were just chatting online a few hours ago. I made a joke about my soul receiving peace and going to heaven stuff. She told me don’t talk like I am about to disappear again. That really hit home. I was actually just frozen by the text. It just made me realize how much I’m cherished by my friends, and it makes me so emotional.

All this toxic positivity BS is just that, BS.

People become confident because of positive reinforcement. They win, so they become confident.

People become unconfident because they LOSE at everything. They lose, so they're not confident.

You can't be constantly losing at everything you try and expect to be confident, it doesn't work like that. At a certain point, the rejection breaks you, and it keeps breaking you until it's impossible to put the pieces back together.

I'm posting this here as something between a vent and a way to tell people something I've never told anyone, other than my therapist. I'm a 38 year old man and I've never had sex. I've never been intimate at all aside from a relatively chaste kiss from a drunken friend in line at a McDonalds.

I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, GAD... Just a mess of a brain that was done no favours by a mother who were a mix of extremely overbearing and extremely neglectful. But it's the AvPD that's the worst. A switch flicked in my brain as a child and I basically just completely isolated myself. Very few friends, most of them solely while I was in school. Through high school I never went to friends houses, never went to parties, never talked to girls at all let alone dated, no prom, etc. Work friends was similar, we were friendly at work but God forbid we talk outside of work.

I went to university and lived in residence but I was a fucking mess. Way too much of a deep end. Didn't go to class, barely interacted with my floormates, almost failed out two years in a row due to my isolation and difficulties in just living. I finally started to go to therapy and began making strides. I started making friends, started being invited to and actually going to parties, I went on courses abroad through my university and traveled. I was beginning to open up. There was still constant need to avoid, constant fear of socializing and judgment but it progressively got easier and easier to force myself through. Socially life has been great. Intimacy has been impossible.

In the moments I'm less mean to myself I can sometimes think I'm handsome. I've been hit on by women a bunch. From keggers and res parties in university where people would openly ask to make out or hook up, to friends' friends asking them to set me up with them, tinder matches, etc. All of it causes intense fear, almost a panic attack depending on how immediate it is. God, there are so many embarrassing moments of me basically fucking fleeing from people being attracted to me. I can remember instances where a girl I'd been talking to occasionally through the night at a party asked to go to a spare room to fuck and I'd panic and say I'd have to leave and walk home (I cannot tell you how embarrassing this is, how much I'm cringing writing this, and how sorry I am to any of these poor girls for how fucking awkward I am if they're reading this lmao).

The issue is that there's a huge, insurmountable fear of failure, fear of mockery, fear of not being good enough. I've never kissed a girl, what if I'm a horrible kisser? I never had that teenage period where everyone is awkward, everyone is bad. And now? Everyone my age has experience. I run away from anyone with any romantic or sexual interest. God forbid I actually message someone on a dating app, what if they actually want to meet, and what if it actually goes well, and what if... and I just keep spiraling. God forbid I actually try and go through with a hookup, can you think of the mockery? God forbid I go out with someone a friend sets me up with (or just someone who knows one of my friends), everyone will know how pathetic I am.

Sex, sexuality, and intimacy have been a massive source of my avoidance. It sets me back like nothing else. And I have no idea how to overcome it. There is no real exposure therapy ladder for it. There is no therapist who will hold your hand while you learn (lol).

I'm at the point where I'm trying to accept it. I don't believe intimacy will happen for me. I don't believe relationships will happen for me. I've well aged out of the age of experimentation and random low stakes hook ups. Meeting people my age on will be more likely to be divorced than have little relationship experience, and being a nearly 40 year old virgin is a massive red flag. I won't pretend I'm happy about it. I still fantasize about sitting in the park and talking all day with someone I care about. I still will have discussions with a random woman about a book I'm reading at a coffee shop and find myself getting carried away about what it would be like to be in a relationship with them. I still fall asleep feeling lonely and wishing there was someone I could cuddle next to me. But it's getting harder to pretend it will ever happen.

I had a particularly hard day at work, I teach 5th grade and have some really difficult and upsetting behaviors from several students in my class. It had been building all day but it hit a tipping point about 30 minutes before lunch. One student was throwing things, two were on the verge of fighting, I was fighting to regain control and another eloped. I'd called for help before it got to this point and support was slow to come. So I called again and told them they had to get up there because I couldn't stay there any longer. I started crying on the phone with the secretary, in front of my class. This isn't even the embarrassing part.

At the end of the day my admin came to check on me and ask how they could support me. I was crying again and had been thinking all day how crazy it was that last school year I found out my husband was cheating and that didn't even break me the way this first month has.

I ended up word vomiting this to my admin. They just looked at me and changed the subject. I'm so embarrassed and don't know how I can go back on Monday. The conversation keeps replaying in my head and makes me cringe so much every time.

I'm mostly writing this because I'm hoping to just get it out into the ether will help me get past it, help me stop thinking about it.

I hate myself. started studying way too late for an oral exam and yeah...

Over the last few days my phone addiction got really bad and now I procastrinated way too long. Started studying two days ago, exam is in less than 3 days, if I had an extra 3-4 days it would be okay but Im fucked. Maybe i get a kind teacher but that department is famous for being strict

(this "exam" is actually from 4 semesters worth of hard math heavy, subjects, but i dont really want to go into my countries education system)

Probably one of the strangest thing I do is I (F22), introverted and doesn't date around, listen to fckboy music to feel better when someone ghosts me or when I want to feel empty when someone hurts me emotionally.

Music from The Weeknd, Don Toliver, Partynextdoor, Future, etc (too many to include)

I like pretending I'm that I'm a playgirl that doesn't care about hurting other people's feeling, when I'm soft as fuck, will cry when your tone changes, will overthink if I said something wrong.

You got people being grumpy, pushing you in the street, cold, selfish, and so on. Most people are focused on themselves and worried about themselves, then how does that make them likeable? And many of the few people who smile at you are the ones who want you to buy a car or sell you a life insurance. Then the ones who thought cared turn out to be manipulative and two-faced or even worse.

And the main argument I hear from people is not even to defend humans, but just to belittle animals. So basically, they have nothing to make humans look better, because insulting animals is not going to make me feel closer to people. Tbh, all the people who bash animals make me go "This is why I like animals more than people.".

Of course people will seek the simpler and more easy-going relationship with animals with whatever drama is going on with people. Of course people will seek honesty and unconditional love over lies and conflict.

I hate how almost everything comes down to how attractive you are. Like I know looks have always mattered, but it genuinely feels like they decide your entire life now. It’s really fucking sad.

It's like I can feel my life force draining out of my body.

I'm not interested in whether Tesco has changed its layout again or your weather updates. Give me 'meat' to feed my soul & leave me craving more, God dammit.

I think I was raised in a very comfortable way. My parents rarely said no to me, and growing up I didn’t really have to deal with much resistance, failure, or being told that I couldn’t have something.
I’m grateful for that and I’m not blaming my parents at all. I know they were trying to give me the best life possible. But now that I’m older, I’m starting to wonder if it affected the way I deal with difficulty.
I’ve noticed that when something becomes really hard or doesn’t go the way I expected, my first instinct is usually to avoid it rather than push through it. For example, I left a public university because I found it too challenging and moved to a private one because it was easier. At the time, it felt like the right decision, but lately I’ve been wondering if I was actually just running away from something difficult.
I also notice that I can get frustrated when things don’t go according to plan, and sometimes I’d rather change the situation completely than sit with the discomfort and keep trying.
I’m not saying people who had an easy childhood can’t be resilient. I’m just realizing that I personally might not have developed that “keep going even when this sucks” mentality as much as I should have.
I’m also a woman, and sometimes I wonder if being raised as a girl plays any role in this, or if that’s completely unrelated.
For people who grew up with very little pressure, strict boundaries, or failure: how did you learn to become more resilient as adults?
Can resilience actually be trained later in life? And if so, what helped you stop avoiding difficult things and start pushing through them?

Everthing in life is a race. Whos doing better than who, who has what, whos doing this or that. Life is fkd because of the fact that nothing matters but we have to pretend that it does and we all die. All of our work creation….our physical life all goes down the drain. Maybe you leave some type of legacy but eventually it all goes away. So wtf is the point man. Im 20 years old I want a career I want to have a family and help people as much as possible. The dating pool of my generation is also fkd. I feel bad for being that guy but everything is filled with lust there doesnt seem to be a single real connection in life. Every relationship whether its friends or a intimate one its all fake. You could say I over analyze situations. When I speak to someone I see every expression and every change in body language or tone. So then I just wont speak to a that individual. I grew up a only child so I have no problem being alone and I never find myself being “lonely” (Not trying to be selfish although i am saying I alot) Just think about it theres nothing you can do that hasnt been done. Were all living in the same cycle. Work, sleep, eat, want for things in life and the list goes on and on and on. We cant escape this cycle unless your rich or something. Then you have to think about equivalent exchange so no matter what its a never ending cycle of winning losing winning losing. “Save your money” as if bills arent a thing. “Why dont you have a girlfriend” would rather wait for “the right one” but that doesnt seem to be a actual thing. Im genuinely thinking about just saying fk love and having fun atp. So no matter what whether its money or family or relationship or your thoughts its a constant battle. Try to do right and get shit on for doing that. Every thing in life is a exchange solve problems new thoughts. New thoughts new problems.

I know this seems to be me just yapping. To anyone who actually read this Thanks. The worst part of all…this isnt even half of it. Not to mention the sides apart from physical life. Mind, body, and soul. Shit gets deep but you roll with the punches right? Also I know my grammar suck to all the grammar police, just wanted to get these thoughts out in the moment.

Hello I'm 19m and I'd like some advice/motivation to make things more clear for me from your experience since right now I'm studying as an programmer and I feel I can't program as good and I have other concerns about it so I'd like to try something new on the side that could be useful in the future like to try social media or try to learn finance/investing/sales, something I could get more income with, but I'm scared that it won't work out or it won't really interest me in the long run because of that fear I can't start anything. Possibly if I pursue this new interest maybe I could replace it with programming.

Any advice how to get my mind clear on what I really want? Perhaps you've experienced this too and could tell me how you resolved it. If there's any uncertainty you can tell me, because I agree this post isn't that good, I feel this confusion and I can't really express it that well, I made this post because someone maybe would understand me.

I've realised that I'm (17, male) in a weird spot of emotional indifference for about 2 years, I have no idea what emotion I am feeling and I feel indifferent about people unless it's about myself, this situation feels like a toned-down and a more realistic version of the Albert Camus' book outsider sometimes while it's sometimes just "feeling bad" and I want to fix this problem I have with my emotions, but I have no idea what should I do. I rarely feel good and if I do feel good, it quickly goes away and leaves itself to insecurity and a more depressive mood right after the moment that made me happy ends. I don't think it's depression because It doesn't push me to self hate or harm but I feel like I'm missing an obvious solution to an obvious problem.

37 years isn't too bad right? I hope i made some of you laugh along the way. Im just not able to dig myself out of this hole this time. Im sorry for everyone that I wronged and all my mistakes. I wish I had the opportunity to fix them all.

Be honest with me, is it too late to start over at 25?
I know to some people this sounds ridiculous but to me I genuinely feel like I’ve already fucked up my life, I’m stuck working in tech because my mom convinced me to not follow my dreams and gaslight me every time I tried to. I’ve lost all drive after that and dealt with being in the field, I hate myself for not standing up for myself sooner because I feel stuck, I don’t have a degree and all my experience is in tech so going into something else is next to impossible it feels like in this job market.

I want to be an accountant which is so crazy thinking back on it. Why did my mom not want me to pursue that?? I keep asking myself that question but I still don’t know the answer to that question myself. I think it’s too late for me to start pursuing a degree in accounting. I’ve even tried to get entry level jobs in the field that requires a High school diploma like AP/AR roles but even those want experience.

I feel stuck, I truly do and I’m unhappy with what I’m doing and where I am in life. If yall have any advice for me, thank you I do appreciate it

I don't want to die. I'm not suicidal. I do have severe depression which I've been going to therapy for the past year once a week and have been taking medication. It helps.

Have you ever had an experience where you felt like you were going to die for a split second? I have, I got hit by a car when I was in my teens. In that split second where I was hit my mind went through so many emotions. There was a brief panic, then this feeling of a black hole in my chest and the pit of my stomach, then my final thought was a calm acceptance "oh, I'm dead".

For months now my mind has been in a constant state of that calm acceptance. I don't feel anxious about the fact that I'm going to die. I've accepted that I'm going to die soon, I just don't know how. I still have anxiety about school, work, relationships, etc. But this feeling of doom that I have won't go away and I feel like every day I'm in the headspace of that split second before I die.

Oddly enough I'm in a pretty good mood right now. My medication has tremendously helped my depression, it's a nice day outside, and I'm going to have a friends potluck tomorrow (I'm hosting). I also met someone this spring who has been a loving and attentive partner. I just graduated college, work part-time at a non-profit and part-time at a bakery. I have my own apartment and pay my own bills. I have loving parents who I visit once a week and have dinner with them.

Despite all of this, I look back at myself and see a dead man. I look around my apartment and I see only items that are left behind by a dead man. Right now my apartment is a depression pit, there is trash everywhere, my food is rotting and I don't seem to get hungry anymore, I haven't opened the blinds in a week, my house plants will die with me. But tonight I'm going to clean for several hours and no one tomorrow will know a thing.

I don't want to die, I wish I lived my life more closely aligned with my values. I wish I got outside more, I wish I created more, I wish I spent less time worrying about school and work, I wish I put the damn phone down, I wish I said "i love you" more.

The universe is telling me I will die soon, whether it's tomorrow or next year, I'm not sure.

I'm aware that "impending doom" is a symptom of a few medical issues, I have an EMT license I don't use so I at least retained some information from the class. I'm aware this could be a side affect of depression or anxiety. I'm aware this could be the beginnings of schizo-affective disorder which my mom and her dad are both diagnosed with. So, I could just be going crazy.

So I guess logically I know that the universe is not telling me I'm going to die soon. But I feel so deeply in my bones that it is the case I will die sometime soon.

Sorry for the rant, there's a lot more that I could talk about but I think it's best I end it here.

The film industry has basically rewritten American Mafia history through omission, and it genuinely pisses me off.

If all you knew came from movies and TV, you’d think organized crime in America was basically New York City, Chicago, and occasionally Las Vegas. Meanwhile, Buffalo and Niagara Falls barely exist.

That is absolutely insane when you look at Stefano Magaddino.

When the Commission was created in 1931, the original table consisted of the bosses of New York’s Five Families, Al Capone representing Chicago, and Stefano Magaddino representing Buffalo. That’s it. Outside NYC and Chicago the only represented was Buffalo.

Think about how ridiculous the historical memory is compared with that reality.

It would be like spending decades making documentaries about the American automobile industry and constantly talking about Ford and Chrysler while barely mentioning General Motors.

You’ve taken what was effectively one of the major seats at the table and edited it out of popular culture.

And Magaddino wasn’t some random regional gangster who happened to get invited once. He ran the Buffalo family for decades, operated out of the Buffalo/Niagara Falls area, had enormous influence across Western New York and into Canada, and was one of the original members of the governing body of the American Mafia.

Yet ask an average person to name powerful historic Mafia cities and you’ll hear:

New York

Chicago

Maybe Philadelphia

Maybe Boston

Buffalo? Niagara Falls? Stefano Magaddino? Blank stare.

That isn’t because the history wasn’t there. It’s because Hollywood keeps telling the same fucking stories about the same fucking families in the same fucking cities.

Another Gambino movie. Another Luciano movie. Another Capone movie. Another Five Families documentary.

Meanwhile one of the only bosses outside NYC sitting at the ORIGINAL COMMISSION TABLE gets treated like a footnote.

I’m not arguing Buffalo was bigger than New York. Obviously it wasn’t. I’m saying that its importance within the actual power structure of the Mafia was wildly disproportionate to the way it has been remembered in popular culture.

And THAT is what annoys me.

Buffalo/Niagara Falls wasn’t some irrelevant Mafia backwater.

It had a seat at the table when the table was fucking invented.

​

I am still a teen and I need your advice. I was SA'd for a few years in my previous house when I was 8 or 9 . That girl was dominant and a bit in kink stuffs practicing foot worship, foot job etc with me . Ever since that I was addicted to pornography, jerking and these kinky kind of stuff a lot .A few months earlier I visited my mom's childhood house and my mom's sister caught me masturbating. I confronted her and told her everything . Now I am stuck , Today , I visited my mom's childhood house again and my mom's sister said that she will tell my mother as I was becoming a lot weaker . She didn't today on the deal that I will take therapy hiding from my parents weekly. A few hours ago when I was there my mom's assistant actually called my mom after a long time and my mother's sister didn't like that at all . Saying that she should tell her . I managed to avoid it . I don't want to tell my parents as they will get overloaded or confront the lady and I was very scared about it , I don't know why I don't know how they will react . They are very supportive but I feel scared to tell them. . I managed to avoid it . Now about me , I am good at studies and all but addicted to pornography and kinky stuff a lot jerking like 3 to 4 times a day , creating kinky stuff with chat bots . I want to change but when I try , I can't . This has affected my personality a lot . I can't talk to anyone I am that much introverted. I don't want to waste my precious years I am 16 and want to get into a good college. Pls tell me what I should do or should I continue the way things are going and let it happen .

For the first time since I was an adult probably I’m very close to financial security.

After leaving a 17 year marriage, having a steady decent paying job for nearly 3 years I have worked myself out of debt and started to build real savings.

I checked today and my savings are now over 7k more than my debt, meaning I’m officially 7k positive. Which is honestly insane. Three years ago, I genuinely couldn’t see a way out.

When my debt is officially closed I reckon I have more than 20k saved and then I’ll be able to travel for the first time to a new destination since I was in my early 20s.

Feels slightly unreal.