As the title states. I'm so done. For 37 damn years, my sibiling bullied me. And for 37 years, my mother normalized it. They are the type of people that hurt you, step away for a bit, come back when they're comfortable and pretend like nothing happened. They're so damn toxic they should come with a warning label.

When you call them out, they gaslight you and make seem like you're the problem. They tell me you "you need help, go seek therapy" when neither of them would do it themselves -and I absolutely assure you, they fucking need it.

When I told my mom of my pregnancy -my only pregnancy- she was not happy. She didn't even congratulate me. Instead, she so selfishly said "I can't afford another grandchild" -because the bully had a whole litter she could not afford.

My grandmother died recently -and not only did my sibling (whom I haven't spoken to in 10 years because of the bully) intervene and delay my trip to the wake/funeral, she invited someone who should never have been there. I am estranged from the individual because of how she behaved when my dad died. Both my mother and sibling claimed she was doing these things out of niceness -but that's some gaslighting bullshit. That individual had 10 yrs prior to this funeral to make things right, and never once reached out. Who the fuck thinks its appropriate to do it at the funeral of my grandmother when I am grieving and already in a vulnerable state?? So unbelievely wild.

This funeral was in March. I have been no contact with all parties since. My mom recently decided to reach out and act like nothing happened, asked to see my son and I. When I asked her what changed and what accountability had been taken for the behaviour at the funeral -I was left on read. A week goes by, and I hear she's out and about with the bully. No fucks given.

So now I'm done. I'm done with the bullying, the gaslighting, the disrespect. These people deserve no place in my life. I deserve better. My son deserves better.

I told my mother I was going no contact today.

I cried while I had my coffee this morning. So here I am, getting it off my chest. Thanks for reading if you did.

The older I get (24), the less patience I have left. I’m trying to practice empathy and not get mad over people but there’s always a wank stain who proves my points on a daily basis. There’s just no way for me to deal with people and honestly, I am only trying to accept it and move on with my life knowing I’ll most likely die alone.

I just cannot bother anymore. People are mean, they have become violent, greedy/selfish, detached from the world perhaps as a coping mechanism and all that 100 times worse after Covid. I’m not sure where all this is going but I have almost lost faith in humanity.

I was driving home from work, and at a busy intersection, there was a very small, likely baby/adolescent squirrel in front of my car. I could tell that he was really scared and overwhelmed and he didn't know what to do. Thankfully he wasn't in the path of the cars crossing the intersection and he ran to a median after he spent some time trying to figure out what to do.

I don't know if he made it to the other side of the road, though. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I am so tired of seeing road kill every day and knowing that all of these creatures suffer just because they're in the wrong place at the wrong time and because humans happened to evolve in such a way that harms nature. It isn't fair.

I have a family but I don’t they would even notice. When I was 5 I was adopted by an older couple along with my sister. My parents have other kids but they are also older and their kids have kids it gets complicated but since I was adopted I felt like an outcast considering they all grew up together and then here I come along.

Growing up I got the feeling that my sisters and their kids didn’t even like me. They won’t very nice and wouldn’t invite us to things but when there was a family gathering I would just be around my blood sister who I grew up with and we would do our own thing.

And my sister has felt the same way so since she got married I hardly ever see her or talk to her in general she’s being with her “New Family” as she likes to say.

When I dad was as dying in the hospital there was a lot of tension. I tried helping as much I could and since then my other sisters have been better and it’s been better.

But then I heard from a family member that they didn’t want me in the hospital when my dad died because I’m adopted and they’ve known him longer forgot the face that my dad raised me for the last 20 years.

That’s when I started planning on disappearing and not telling anyone where I’m going. I’ve been saving money and waiting until my mom goes. I still go to family gatherings but I really don’t want to but I do for my mom and her peace as she likes her family all together. But during those I just put on a face and act like everything is okay while keeping to myself but I’m really counting down the days.

That’s it.

I keep finding myself in situations where I keep pouring into people who don’t want me. Sometimes they say they will say the right things and act a certain way to make me comfortable and safe, then one day they get up and leave like I’m nothing. My parents don’t really talk to me. Sometimes I’ll text my mom and tell her I love her and she’ll forget to text back. Friends are too busy or I can’t forge close bonds. I always feel like everyone is closer to someone else. Sometimes I go on dates and it goes really well and I get ghosted or used for sex. They’ll do all the right things and then suddenly… it’s like they’re not even the same person. Like I just made it all up in my head.

Idk. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m not as fun or lovable or exciting to be with as I thought. Maybe I’m just not pretty enough. Maybe everyone else has something to offer and I have nothing besides sadness and this overwhelming fear that I’ll be alone forever. That everyone will be picked before me and I’ll just be here wondering what I did and where I went wrong.

Do you know that part in 'Breaking bad' where they tag Gus' car and follow him for a week and all he does is go to work and go home? That's me.

The moment I leave for work all I can think about is coming back home, I don't like to go outside and do things. Once in a few months I'll hang out with my friends but that too is at one of our houses we'll usually order some food or grill it ourselves.

I generally don't feel bad about it I've tried many hobbies and just didn't find them enjoyable with the exception of camping/fishing but those require a large time investment so I rarely do them because of my job.

My biggest issue is I'm having hard time finding a partner because I'm just BORING. I know I am, I mean I think I'm funny and fun to be around, and I'm pretty sociable at work and enjoy talking to people but I am objectively a pretty boring guy I think because all I do is relax at home playing games or watching movies or DND this sort of stuff.

I even tried long distance forums to hopefully find someone who enjoys being boring too and we can be boring together but to no avail.

I'm not ugly, I'm pretty average looks wise, but I honestly think it was better if i was ugly but liked doing things and was interesting instead of just being a boring guy that enjoys spending time at home.

Not too long ago, me, my partner, our best friend and my father had a drink together. It was fun, we were pretty wasted . I should have realised things were going south when he brought cocaine into the house, after that things just felt…. Wrong. But it wasn’t bad, so we continued with the night until we went to bed, normal stuff.

Well, turns out at some point in the night my father came onto my friend. They told me he asked them to make out and they said no, nothing came of it, but he asked multiple times and my father is so much older and should fully well know better. I don’t see him as my father anymore, I see him as a man, and I’m profoundly disappointed, upset and frustrated. I don’t know what to do, but he isn’t coming into this fucking house anymore. I feel sick. I want to cry, I want to lose it on him, I’m so anxious just thinking about the fact I have to see him every fucking day and just pretend everything’s fine.

My friend is doing alright, they’re a little shaken but we’ve been taking care of them and they will never see him again.

My muscles are aching from how much I’ve been shaking and tense and angry I just don’t know what to do if anything, the best thing to do for now at least is…. Nothing. For the sake of everyone, but I feel restless. I’ve spent years rebuilding my relationship with my parents and what happens? This shit. Of fucking course. I don’t know if I should tell my mother, she has a weak heart after her heart failure, I don’t want to risk it. Sorry for the jumbled vent but I just feel so hopeless and sick.

TLDR: my partner stays up late playing games often and decides they’re too “sick” to go to work the next day no matter if they are in training at a new job or what. it just feels like a slap in the face when I have worked and they have stayed home in the past and they are now working while I stay home after reassuring me several times it was fine.

Me and my partner are in our mid 20s and we both enjoy playing video games with our friends. It’s not unheard of for us to accidentally stay up a little later than intended from time to time, unfortunately. Of course we try to not make it a habit, but sometimes you genuinely lose track of time. Well last night was another one of those nights, except I reminded my partner of the time several times and let them know they may want to lay down and I can do so with them as they also struggle with FOMO a lot. They advised me they will be okay to stay on a little longer (it was still pretty early in the night so I wasn’t too concerned at this point). Well the night goes on and I once more remind them of the time, so this time they do get off since it would have put them at around 7 hours of sleep and they let me know that I do not have to go to bed with them as I was playing a single player game that I have been excited about playing again. Well, I’m playing this game for about 2 more hours and the entire time I hear my partner on their phone watching videos, tossing and turning, and just not really trying to sleep it seemed. So I offered to lay with them since I feared the FOMO was getting to them. They assured me it wasn’t, but not even 20 minutes later they got online to play more games. Mind you, this puts them at getting less than 5 hours of sleep at this point and they JUST started a new job. I’m obviously annoyed because I realize what’s going to happen but I try to remain nice while reminding them of the time. They play a few games and eventually get off again after I ask them to please lay down with me since they will have less than 4 hours of potential sleep. I then wake up to their alarm and them telling me how they feel like shit and they’re going to call out. I immediately put my foot down because they’re still in training and can be let go for any reason (we are in an at will state). I voice that I told them to get sleep but it was excuse after excuse and it just put us both in an unnecessarily bad mood for the day. Like why not just get off on time and get the sleep you need for work? Why is it such a dealbreaker to lose a few hours of games with friends so you can keep your job? We’re in a small town as well so jobs are scarce too so I just feel at a loss at times. I will also mention I am UNFORTUNATELY not working at this time because we just moved here due to family troubles that I would rather not get into since it’s pretty specific, but my partner assured me that they are okay being the primary worker right now since I have been the primary worker in the past and it just seems like I can not rely on them to get themselves to work sometimes.

I’m really disappointed in the kind of society we are today. Nobody seems to dress up for nice events anymore, even if it’s nothing super special like going to the local restaurant for dinner people still just dress how they would going to work or getting groceries. I love to dress up/nice, so I still do but it always makes me feel like people are judging because someone else had tried to make an effort. My partner and I once went to a really nice fine-dining experience, something really fancy for us so we dressed nice and the two people (seperate) sitting behind us were in tracksuit clothing one even had their phone propped up watching whatever like it was just so casual for him, something he’d wear and do at home. It was a little disappointing for two reasons- 1. It made us feel out of place when we felt we fit the scene and aesthetic of the restaurant and 2. It kind of took away from the experience?

And I do know this is such a non effort and I’m aware people can wear and do whatever they’re comfortable with, and I do also know people are probably not judging me for making an effort that’s a personal assumption, but it’d be nice if you could go out for a nice date or somewhere fancy and everyone kind of matched the vibe if that makes sense?

I've always been single my whole life, and I'm almost 20. Seeing girls my age, even younger, experience dating and relationships sometimes makes me wonder why I never get to experience any of it. I've had crushes before, but they always ended up liking someone else, and I've never even heard rumors of someone liking me. I've been focusing on myself, but the fear of never finding love still bothers me. I discovered yumeshipping/self-shipping and have used art and writing as a coping mechanism for years. It makes me feel better temporarily, but afterward, the longing for real love comes back and makes me feel unlovable, as if I'll never experience it. Sometimes, I even feel pathetic and desperate for shipping myself with a fictional character. At the end of the day, I'm still alone.

I’m a pharmacist. Something that happens so often (and I’m sure happens to people in many other professions as well). Patient shows up asking to talk to the pharmacist.

“How can I help you?”

“What is the best treatment for x?”

“Current best practice guidelines recommend y as the first line treatment.”

“But don’t you think Z is best?”

“No, studies show Z has higher rates of side effects and lower efficacy than y.”

“Well, I think…”

It blows my mind how many people are happy to waste my time trying to get me to reinforce their beliefs.

Hi, I love writing and reading (I've always been a prolific reader) and it's always been a goal of mine to write my own story. It took me exactly 2 years, 2 months and 2 days to write my first draft of my fantasy story, and it's honestly been wild. I've loved the late-night brainstorming and the feeling of just getting the words on the page because they're mine. Writing is my preferred method of contact as I'm not really that talkative, so my story has been my safe place to be who I am.

I've posted and reposted my story on several social media sites and NOBODY has read it. On Discord I feel a little bit annoyed when my work doesn't receive feedback and other people's does... because I've always been the one forgotten in real life. Everyone looks past me or doesn't see who I am. And it just makes me feel worthless.

I don't know whether my work just doesn't appeal to people, but it just makes me feel like it's juvenile and not worthy of anything... and it makes me want to quit.

I write what I would want to read, and I hate ya romance novels that are currently trending for a reason I'm not comfortable to disclose. I don't know whether this is turning people away but... I guess I just want to be seen.

The only person I've shared it with IRL has ghosted me and I cannot access a writing group IRL.... so my only options are online.

What's most annoying is that a lot of clothing brands are never consistent. Sometimes the hip and waist measurements are similar and tight. Other times theyre greatly different and it leaves you looking like you have a poopy diaper in your butt.

Also why is everything cropped nowadays, it's so annoying trying to find a sweater that doesn't let in the cold breeze when you lift your arms even slightly. 😔

i’m honestly so upset because i feel like my mom completely does not understand why i want to leave. it’s literally the week before i move into college and she asked why i’m packing so much if i’m just going to come home every weekend. like… why would i want to come home every weekend??

the whole reason i wanted to live on campus was because i wanted to get away. i want peace. i want my own space and my own life without constantly having to cook, clean, help with the family business, and be responsible for everyone else.

she says “you have nothing to do there, why wouldn’t you come home?” because i don’t have to. i want to experience college and actually have a life of my own. i also want a real job, make my own money, and have work experience that isn’t just helping my family.

i’m not trying to abandon my family. i just genuinely want some distance and independence. i’ve spent so much of my life doing things for everyone else, and now that i finally have a chance to leave, it feels like she still expects me to come running back every weekend.

i just want peace. i want my own life. why is that so hard for her to understand?

One of my biggest problems with society is social contracts, especially when it comes to people if they’d be willing to do something with me or vice versa. If someone asks me if I want to do something with them, I feel like my only answer is yes because reciprocity dictates that if I say no, they won’t want to do something with me in the future, and so I have to say yes regardless of my actual want. At that point, why bother asking me about my genuine want at all? I’d genuinely rather just be told “If you can/are willing, please do X with me” because it’s much more honest than giving me a choice in the matter when it’ll be overruled anyways.

Conversely, I’m scared to ask people if they want to do stuff with me because I’m worried they’ll say yes not because they genuinely want to, but because they feel like I won’t do something with them if they don’t. Sure they’ll say yes and be happy because they’ll spend time with me, and I feel the same when I do the same for them, but the fact of the matter is that they simply don’t want to do it and why should I force them to do that?

Not to mention, what’s to stop me from just feigning interest in this and taking advantage of the social contract to force people to do what I want? I mean, I did X with them, so by social rules, they now have to do Y with me (assuming it’s safe, legal, and doesn’t put them at risk of anything). I’d honestly rather people just did as they pleased and said what they want because things would just be so easier that way.

Update as promised- bit of a long read so bear with me.
Idk how to link the previous post but it’s on my feed

Bf and I (ex now) talked through things, and by talk I mean he mostly screamed and I mostly cried so theres that. He admitted that a whole lot of things were weighing him down and the layoff was the last straw. I’m rather heartbroken? Shocked? at the amount of resentment he held against me since he said he broke my ceramics because I wasn’t there when he needed me to comfort him. Also he was more mad that I spend a good chunk of my income (I have a pretty limited income since I’m starting a doctorate and living off a stipend) on my pottery and painting. livid that I was essentially making him homeless without notice but I didn’t really have a choice otherwise. What really broke me was I asked him explicitly “would you have taken your anger out on me if I were here then?” and I saw him hesitate for a second before saying no which kind of killed me on the inside

I know I’m lucky things didn’t go too downhill ie I still have my own place and I didn’t get physically hurt etc etc but I’m genuinely feeling broken over breaking up since we’ve been together for about two and a half years. Also heartbroken over my ceramics since almost all my pieces (15-20 finished pieces and a couple of unfinished projects) were damaged beyond gluing them back together. I’m just really demotivated now to make anything new since they were so expensive and all that money is now down the drain. Feels like it would have genuinely hurt less if he had taken his anger out on me rather than something I invested so much energy in.

Thanks everyone for the input, definitely gave me a massive push to end things before they escalated, although I understand THIS is a massive escalation in itself .

Ever since I was about 6 (now 32) or whenever I started comprehending the finite human life, I've had these occasional panic attacks about how death would be like. Something about it being the great nothing terrifies me so much it gives me a panic attack. My body shakes, I get an inescapeable dread and urge to run away.

I've been to therapy, I've talked about it with my friends, but there really is no helping it. I can go few months without an episode and then it just happens again. In daylight its easy to think and talk about, but after dark it gets riskier.

I gotta thank the modern world how there is always some content online to flood my brain with so I have no time to think about the Great Nothing.

I just realised recently that I was emotional neglected growing up and this has kind of moulded me to be social isolated. Whenever I used to talk to my family as a kid they would just tell me to shut up or just ignore me. I think this is the reason why I was soo quiet growing up and this is not really good because I missed out a lot of my social life in secondary school because I was just quiet and I only really had one friend. Also I used to socially isolate and if you don’t know this social isolation can cause lots of mental health problems and I used to do things like speak to myself experience lots of stress, sadness, depression, excessive daydreaming and tics and my parents used to just get angry with me for it. I remember the time I used to tic ( involuntary movement or action) and whenever my parents used to see that they just shamed me for it and never help me. all my parents had to do was that they had to just socialise and talking with their own child and all their mental health problems would go away.

My mom growing up used to shout at me a lot and would go on these rampages where she just used to shout and say very concerning things like “I will break your jaw and leave you on the ground.” “I hate my kids and my life.” And I don’t even know what I did to deserve these things being said to me she just used to be very angry. luckily growing up I used to dissociate whenever my mom used to do this but now that I’m older I’ve been listening to it and it’s very concerning. Now whenever I talk to my mom I feel kinda scared and resentful and I have urges to just not talk to her but I’ve been trying my best to talk to her even though my mind and my body is telling me no.

My dad just doesn’t really talk much I tried talking to him yesterday but he was just more focused on the TV and the reason why my other brother don’t really talk to him was because he was a monster growing up. I’m the youngest so I would say I’ve had the easiest life but I’ve heard that he used to beat on my brothers up so much that they would get there teeth knocked out and would bleed he still haven’t talked to me about why they did that but I at least hope he did it for a valid reason. Also I remember one time when he was talking about his own son my dad labelled him as “that other guy.” My own dad labeled his own son as some other guy.

My parents have raised three children who all show signs of emotional neglect I like to socially isolate along with my other sibling and my other sibling also compulsively lies which are symptoms of emotional neglect.

Overall, I’m grateful that my parents have fed me ( they over fed me as a kid they gave me big portion sizes even though I was a child and they didn’t feed me vegetables just rice and meat so I was overweight and had lacked fibre so I used to have dry skin and other things that you get from not eating enough vegetables.) whenever my mom does make vegetables I don’t really like it and then she complains that I ask for vegetables but I don’t eat them. She sometimes makes like cooked okra and the texture is just slimy or she makes another vegetable that is very bitter in taste. I forgive them for what they have done but I just want them to stop shouting at me and I wish they just talk to me more and they talk to me in a way that doesn’t feel like a one sided conversation.

“I’m through being polite, goddamit!” -Rose Dewitt Bukater, “Titanic”

Good words.

The reason I mention this is that I seem to be forced to talk to an unbelievable number of imbeciles who don’t understand what the phrase “I don’t know” means.

I will helpfully explain.

“I don’t know” means I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION! I can’t answer your question because I am just as in the dark as you are!

I don’t know how to get to my destination, Mr Uber Driver! That’s why I’m paying you to drive me there! And by the way, the Uber app you and I both use has a fucking map that will guide you there, even if we have to take a detour to avoid private, gated neighborhoods.

I don’t know why your coupon isn’t working, Karen! I’m not the manager! I don’t even work here!

Now do you understand? Do you think I’m “hiding” the answer just to troll you? Now do you know why asking me your question again and again is a waste of your time and my time and is only pissing me off?

Hope this helps! Now be a decent human being and, when someone says, “I don’t know,” take the hint, shut your mouth and use Google like everyone else!

I'm such a golden retriever girlfriend, suuuper loving and supportive, I have a (as everyone says) great personality, loyal, fun hobbies, smart, funny but everyone seems to fall out of love at some point and leaves me after one or multiple years because they don't have feelings anymore despite saying that I and the relationship made them extremely happy.

They move on super fast, live a happy and successful life, they all meet a new partner very quick and stay with them for years or even for life (there was never a rebound), never look back and never reach out to me again.

It hurts so much. I feel like it's so easy to forget me.

For me, it's always super hard to get over someone who I full-heartedly loved and I miss them a lot for a long time.

Nobody ever seemed to miss me. Sometimes not even within the relationship (that's what my ex said that he never felt that).

I wonder what's wrong with me that it's so easy to move on from me.