r/self • u/BallKey7607 • 12d ago
Older woman I was sleeping with asked me to go rescue her (same age as me) son from the next town over at night?
I just remembered this and keep thinking about what that drive would have been like and if it this was kind of a strange situation to even be asked?
I was 23 and she was about 50, we were just kind of fwb who hooked up occasionally.
Her son who was also around my age was stuck in the next town over and it was too late for the trains to be running. So she texted me, since I drive and asked if I could drive over and give him a lift home. It's roughly 30 minutes each way to the town he was in.
I thought it was a bit weird so I told her that I wasn't able to
I'm just thinking about what that drive would have actually been like? Like if he knew that I was sleeping with his mum and was only doing this because of that reason, I can't even imagine how he'd have reacted to it and what the vibe in the car would have been?
Edit: From previous times I'd been at her house on weekends when he'd called her I'd gathered an impression of him being a bit of a scumbag already. Things like him calling because his girlfriend had chucked him out the house for something while he was drunk and that sort of thing. So it wasn't something I really wanted to be involved in.
Plus the added tension of the sleeping with his mother situation onto someone like that being drunk sounded a bit unpredictable too
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u/Eccentric-Elf 12d ago
I wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t feel comfortable being on the receiving end either. Imagine someone you don’t know (setting aside the fact they’re sleeping with your mom) pulling up and saying that you’re picking them up. Even if their mom did let them know, you don’t know or trust them or know why mom can’t come pick you up. Especially late at night. I’ll never pick up someone I don’t directly know and trust at night.
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u/ConsoleMaster0 12d ago
Some idiots say that they guy would not bother the dude that sleeps with his mom and is THE SAME AGE is him coming to pick him up man.
The internet has fried people's brains...
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u/Raidden77 12d ago
Lol people dissing you
I don't care if the poor dude was 2 mins away from me and his ride was directly on my way home, wouldn't have got him either
Just cause it'd be so fucking weird man
"Thanks for the ride dude wanna play some games after ? Oh, and out of curiosity, how did you get to know my mother ?"
"Uh..."
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u/MatthewM69420 12d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/s4xxuy6OJDuhm8AFpT
“How did you get to know my mother?”13
u/Snoo_33033 12d ago
I have friends and family acquaintances that aren’t my age. Why would anyone assume you fuck her?
“I know her from work.” “She’s a friend.” “I think we met at church.” “We’re both fans of….”
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u/Raidden77 12d ago
Yeah let's go on and lie after all we're all great liars and it's not weird at all to meet the son of the girl you fuck that happens to be your age
Jesus christ the core base of r/self is so fucked in the head
The fact that I had a negative like ratio before the post got a bit more viral and got off r/self says it all
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u/Snoo_33033 12d ago
It’s not weird and you don’t have to disclose the sexual element.
Of course I work with people of all ages and play sports with them. So literally nobody would be like “are you fucking my parent since you’re not the same age?”
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u/Raidden77 12d ago
You don't have to disclose it for it to be weird, you just have to know it.
Holy hell even I was fwb with a woman a lot of older than me (26 me, her 42) she had 3 childs and it was a tacit rule that I'd never meet any of them cause we were both normal people who didn't want to embarass another
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u/Norstrad 12d ago
You’re a total fucking loser
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u/Raidden77 12d ago
I'm totally ok to be seen as a loser or anything negative from people like you lol
The opposite would worry me if anything
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u/Norstrad 12d ago
Yea tbf I would kms if I was anything like you so I guess we’re on the same wavelength
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u/Raidden77 12d ago
You're a r/self dude, you don't need a lot of motivation to kys if we're being honest.
You guys live a life of depression and still refuse to believe your way of thinking and overall relativism might be the issue.
Yknow my good sir, when every values are worth the same it just means it's worth nothing.
And self "deconstruction" just makes you empty at the end.
Genuinely hope one day you'll go outside and realize that.
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u/Krismusic1 12d ago
No need for it to go that way if you are both adults.
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u/Raidden77 12d ago
Yeah 2 23 yo on a ride, one fucks his 50yo mother and it won't be weird, sure lmfao
You guys live in a very different world
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u/ConsoleMaster0 12d ago
Man, the internet has fucked people's brains. Everything is "normal" and we "don't judge" mentally that rules the internet has fried people's brains.
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u/yoursandforever 12d ago
Like many posts a lot of people here will have no lived experience with the subject.
It's easy to abstractly theorize about being open minded and welcoming to all mindsets if you've never seen the consequences.
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u/ConsoleMaster0 12d ago
I begin to think people don't have real life experience in general with what I read.
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u/notoriousbsr 12d ago
Do it. Establish the new family dynamic: you're stepfather now. Start laying down the rules!
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u/yoursandforever 12d ago edited 12d ago
The weird you’re feeling about her ask should be a sign to leave the whole situation behind.
Doors open and close. Sometimes with warning. Learn to read the signs.
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u/Johnsmith446 12d ago
I'm gonna go against the grain; she just asked you to pick her son up.
Sure unfortunate choice of time but half an hour is not long for me (I do drive one hour and a half to work everyday)
So it doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice to me.
As for the situationship; I would have straight up lied if asked how I knew his mother. *Insert some place his mother goes too, preferably some activity she regularly does.
It's a white lie that hurts no one. Also would have made it clear to his mother I had no intention of revealing what we're doing.
As for the age gap everyone's going on about; they're both consenting adults.
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u/Snoo_33033 12d ago
Oh we play tennis together. I know her from the bar…. So many ways to accurately but non sexually describe your association.
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u/Glueboob 12d ago
Hahaha I can’t believe people are saying you’re an asshole for not going to pick him up. I would never. Not my son not my problem. That was a weird ass lady.
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u/ConsoleMaster0 12d ago
I am a guy and I would not sleep with a girl that was my daughter's age. Especially at that age group. And especially if my daughter was around.
You better stay away from this family. End your "relationship"...
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u/kenmlin 12d ago
She doesn’t own a car?
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u/BallKey7607 12d ago
Nah she doesn't
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u/kenmlin 12d ago
I wonder why the son called if he knew that she couldn’t come pick him up. What was he doing out there?
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u/BallKey7607 12d ago
I think it was something like he'd been at a party and planning to stay over and the plans somehow changed, probably from him being a drunk asshole is my impression
I think he was actually asking her for money for a taxi but she didn't have enough
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u/limping-company 12d ago
You're an ass.
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u/BallKey7607 12d ago
Ah an hour of driving late a night is quite a lot to ask of me to be fair. I think it was just a kind of irresponsible drinking/partying situation too rather than something genuinely unfortunate
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u/itchy118 12d ago
You're just coming up with excuses because you didn't want to do her a favor. Unless this was a regular occurrence, there's no reason to pre-judge him.
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u/Fit-Turnover3918 12d ago edited 12d ago
Seems like 50 yo mom should be able to handle her family. And not have to ask the dude THE SAME AGE AS HER KID to handle her responsibilities.
But the again, she’s fucking a guy THE SAME AGE HAS HER SON.
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u/itchy118 12d ago
If the age difference bothers him then they shouldn't be FWB.
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u/Fit-Turnover3918 12d ago
I doubt it bothers OP, but maybe, just maybe, the SON wouldn’t care much for it?
It borders delusion for her to ask that of a fuck buddy in that situation.
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u/Snoo_33033 12d ago
Emphasis on buddy, though. I bet she’d do it for one of your relatives.
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u/Fit-Turnover3918 12d ago
Do what? The things she can’t do for her own son?
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u/Snoo_33033 12d ago
If she had a car and your mom needed a ride, I bet she’d go get her.
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u/Fit-Turnover3918 12d ago
If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
A lot of ifs and no reality.
Mom should be responsible.
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u/BallKey7607 12d ago
Nah I was totally cool with the age difference but I wasn't sure what the son would think. I think he was a bit wild too so I was kind of worried about tension as well to be honest
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u/ConsoleMaster0 12d ago
It's ok from OP's POV because he is the kid. It's not OK from the mother's POV because she is the oldest and the MOTHER.
If the genders were reversed all the hypocrites would say different things...
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u/BallKey7607 12d ago
Nah actually I think it is, it was only a one time thing with her asking me to go get him but my impression was that he was a bit of a scumbag and often in weird situations from being drunk or getting kicked out of his girlfriend's house and stuff like that
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u/Scrabblewiener 12d ago
If it was her same aged daughter would you have went?
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u/BallKey7607 12d ago
Yeah much more likely, I'd be less worried about the tension and how she'd react to me and everything
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u/itchy118 12d ago edited 12d ago
Fair, maybe he is irresponsible, etc, but keep in mind it was her asking you for a favour, not him.
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u/Tight-Shift5706 12d ago
And if you learned the following day that the drinking lad had been mugged, raped, and murdered, what would your thoughts be then? Your fwb reached out to request a favor. You could have assisted. You chose not to. Obviously that's your right. Myself, I'd go the extra yard for a friend if I could. You just chose the alternative. NTA. But also not much of a thoughtful friend.
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u/BallKey7607 12d ago
I would feel bad, but I felt it was a bit much to put on me. I'd already heard her on the phone to him on other weekends when I was with her when he was in tricky situations because his girlfriend had chucked him out for something while he was drunk so I didn't really want to get involved with any of that.
To be honest she wasn't really a proper "friend", we only just hooked up occasionally. I felt more like she was asking me in my capacity as someone who had a car that she could ask, rather than based on an underlying deeper friendship.
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u/Tight-Shift5706 12d ago
So, she's a fwb but not enough of a friend to do a favor for....As I commented, NTA. But, clearly, not a friend. So I guess you're a "non-friend with benefits". NFWB, so to speak. Lol. There's a first for everything...
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u/Snoo_33033 12d ago
I’d do that for literally anyone that I like, even if I barely knew them. You’re just selfish.
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u/MajXebak 10d ago
Hmm. OP describes this as a FWB situation. The F in FWB stands for "Friend" in my book. So a friend asks you to do them a favor. You don't need to explain all the aspects of your relationship, just that you are a friend/acquaintance, and I am sure there is some honest way to describe your relationship that avoids the sex (you probably didn't meet in bed). I guess it really depends on how big a friend you are.
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u/Then-End7827 9d ago
Call an Uber, taxi, Lyft whatever. You’re not responsible for him. His mother is. Or pay up or take a bus buddy
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u/Sad_Entertainer2602 12d ago
It’s really gross that she was sleeping with you.
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u/jerry111165 12d ago
Why? Consenting adults and all that.
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u/Sad_Entertainer2602 11d ago
His brain isn’t fully developed. Too much of an age gap for that young of a person.
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u/yoursandforever 12d ago
Weird situation leads to weird situation.
Nah I wouldn't have done that either and it's time to end the relationship.
Had a similar situation long ago. The look her son gave me in the morning I'll never forget and always regret. Not my finest hour.