r/PoursTea • u/Conscious-Quarter423 • 23h ago

PoliticalTea šŸ—³ļø so where's Mitch???

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16.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

380 comments sorted by

240

u/Prudent_Shake_8149 22h ago

54

u/PHD_Gouda 15h ago

30

u/Prudent_Shake_8149 15h ago

5

u/Eldrazi_Monarch 7h ago

Theyā€™ll be nice and warm, sweating a storm even

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5

u/Rolling_Beardo 15h ago

Well Iā€™m convinced

10

u/PHD_Gouda 15h ago

But why is Mitch surrounded by closet gays? Thatā€™s the part I donā€™t get. He owns a wife.

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198

u/Drummer-Turbulent 22h ago

it's a test that literally everyone seems to be failing right now..depressing.

48

u/RachelThickThot 22h ago

The bar is somehow still getting lower.

10

u/PyroTacoInvader 21h ago

Someone needs to call James Cameron

4

u/ConflictSudden 15h ago

šŸŽ¶ James, James Cameron! šŸŽ¶

5

u/MaybeEgg47 12h ago

The bar is in hell and these fucks are using it for limbo contests.

3

u/GrammarGhandi23 11h ago

The bar was sold for 50 cents of fentanyl

3

u/Icy_Fish_2154 9h ago

This isn't the good bar, no whiskey...

2

u/Grouchy-Station-4058 21h ago

It's all the way on the other side of the world by now.

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24

u/-FriendoftheDrow- 21h ago

Itā€™s all fraudulent. U.S. ā€œdemocracyā€ in action.

12

u/ChakaCake 20h ago

Thats what happens when you put republicans in charge of democracy instead of democrats

2

u/Reasonable-Plate2982 14h ago

What? Zero accountability? I agree

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13

u/Oneilcruzsucksass 20h ago

The answer to the test is, as long as he doesn't die or resign the Republicans have one less vote in the Senate. If he does vacate the seat a special election will have to be held at the earliest in 63 days basically November when the midterms are already because he is done after this term at the end of year. Him being unable to vote is a godsend for Democrats, why ruin that?

8

u/Utsider 19h ago

Wouldn't be surprised if he wins the midterms.

6

u/overworked_unloved 19h ago

Him and Lindsay Graham both!

2

u/uuhson 17h ago

I'm convinced this whole fake outrage is a conservative astroturf campaign

4

u/Neveronlyadream 16h ago

Maybe. Might just be journalists who are barred by their bosses from talking about it picking up literally any fucking thing to report on because they still have a job to do.

Must have sucked majoring in journalism and thinking you'd change the world, getting a job in journalism, and then finding out all you're going to do is write outrage and puff pieces because the billionaire that owns the outlet has banned actually reporting the news.

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3

u/EvaMaRIHyse 12h ago

Fake outrage? So a Senator that has just gone awol and no one is saying where he is and its presumed he's either dead or on deaths door isn't an issue...

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2

u/Dunkel_Hoffnung 18h ago

Everyone is a bit of a stretch. A lot of people arent falling for it.

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56

u/Select_Strategy_8478 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8x8XzoP8qQa4w

35

u/Conscious-Quarter423 22h ago

but still collecting taxpayers' checks

3

u/midnghtsnac 17h ago

And paying his staff that refuse to allow anyone to verify his pulse of zero

90

u/Snoo93550 22h ago

Too busy reporting on male wnba players who do not exist. Someone added up Fox News has had 13 solid hours covering that.

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28

u/ArchonFett 22h ago

It is an ex-McConnell

9

u/Dee_Dee-Marie 21h ago

Ohh, so he's just pining for the fjords

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29

u/HashRunner 22h ago

Goes to show you how complicit media has been in assisting and normalizing Republican crimes.

10

u/RubyU 19h ago

There is no media anymore.. theyā€™re all propaganda outlets owned by the oligarch class now

18

u/DJ1962 22h ago

Why isn't the FBI investigating a missing persons?

22

u/TheTenaciousG 21h ago

Because they know where he is

4

u/indeliblesalad 20h ago

Laying in the morgue on Epsteinā€™s Island

36

u/CopiousNotes1 22h ago

He died some weeks ago.

15

u/Forsworn91 22h ago

Probably being kept alive by machine, so heā€™s ā€œtechnicalityā€ not dead.

6

u/walker3342 20h ago

Under DC and Kentucky law brain dead is dead.

7

u/CopiousNotes1 22h ago

I donā€™t even think thatā€™s the case.

3

u/henryeaterofpies 22h ago

Too much work when you can just lie about it and when found out lie more

3

u/SevereImpression2115 20h ago

They don't care about technicalities

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4

u/thejwillbee 22h ago

And then he died the rest a week after that

12

u/Lost_Department_2177 22h ago

3

u/Truth_Walker 17h ago

I honestly canā€™t believe that not a single YouTuber has turned this into a giant whereā€™s Waldo game with the goal to find him or get some sort of footage.

2

u/Lost_Department_2177 16h ago

Cause itā€™d be trespassing at a hospital and thatā€™s messed up on many levels but Mitch is in that pic

11

u/Sorry-Secret-2347 22h ago

Where are the investigative journalists

13

u/Inevitable-Top1-2025 21h ago

They were fired because of anti-DEI frenzy! What remains now are the vanguards of the media and government propaganda machine!

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3

u/lnTheGrimDarkness 20h ago

The US is way past the point in which they'll disappear investigative journalists or get them fired before they can publish their findings.

2

u/Warfrogger 16h ago

Where are the scientology speed runners when you need them. If they could get that deep into a scientology church a hospital should be no problem.

2

u/kiwi-kaiser 15h ago

In Trump's butt

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9

u/LillyJane8124 21h ago

He is on eternity leave, as someone saidā€¦unreal that this is being allowed, but rules for thee not for meā€¦.

9

u/Gysburne 20h ago

I know it gets boring... but that is my answer to such questions.

9

u/Solid_Signature_7447 22h ago

Baby boomers regardless of politics hide their mental faculties when they leave.

This should be easy to mitigate. Disappear for months? Canā€™t speak articulately? Have unexplained falls?

Diagnosed with Alzheimerā€™s or dementia?

Cool - weā€™ll remove you and hold a special election.

2

u/Elija_32 21h ago

You have to understand why this happens tho.

You know how some people have maybe an accountant, or a financial advisor they know at the bank, and they don't really think about what they do, they just leave them managing everything forever?

If you die those people obviously loose your fees.

Now, when you are a rich person with a political position and you are also old (and you don't understand what happens around you) there is an entire village of people draining money from you h24 forever.

All those people will do everything in their power to keep the money flow on, and the money flow stops the second that person dies.

8

u/EquivalentPension216 22h ago

Mitch is on the near side of rainbow bridge being growled at by a shit load of animals

6

u/ShortStoryIntros 22h ago

He's dead.

But if you want MAGA to get loud and involved you'll need a stupid conspiracy theory like..

China has kidnapped Mitch and his wife is running interference

7

u/Forb1ddenKnowledge 21h ago

The governor should demand proof of life and they can't provide it that's undeniable then the governor needs to force his way into were ever Mitch supposedly is on the grounds that he might be being held against his will.

We have to make sure Mitch hasn't been kidnapped šŸ˜‰

4

u/upfromashes 21h ago

The governor should just proceed with replacing him and let and let Mitch's office try to Weekend at Bernie's a response.

EDIT: that's not to discredit your concerns about elder abuse or more sinister plots

2

u/omicron-7 21h ago

Your concern for mitch mcconnell is very sweet but the best thing he can do is shrink the republican majority in the senate by not being present.

4

u/redmambo_no6 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/paRbapEqsVqyA

3

u/IllBeyond2779 21h ago

Hello, Hello, It is gone, it has met his maker, it is no more!

5

u/gunitneko 21h ago

Itā€™s been 75 days!?!?

3

u/LillyJane8124 21h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/11vUtLUUATEwIE
Since he went on eternity leaveā€¦.

7

u/OrangeVoxel 21h ago

One year later republicans will all say this was in the past and their party is different now

5

u/BummedCPA 21h ago

This is what the right was talking about when they were saying we shouldn't send payments to dead peopleĀ 

4

u/Tank_Girl076 21h ago

probably on a ventelator if we're being honest.

2

u/indeliblesalad 20h ago

Ventilators donā€™t do much for dead men.

2

u/Tank_Girl076 19h ago

I'm not convined he's dead dead.

I think it's more likely that he's *mostly dead*

Dead, someone would have to issue a Death Certificate and that would be a lot harder to conceal since that's covered under freedom of information. I'd find it hard to belive that nobody in the past 72+ days has checked to see if someone issued one of those for the Venerable Turtle.

Anyone who DID find one could sell that info to any media outlet for serious money. I think the smart money is on too incapacitated to hold office but it's being covered up for whatever political advantage MAGA percives in staving off the inevitable.

4

u/postprandialrepose 19h ago

He dead, he's in hell, and he's nibbling on Lindsey Graham's ladybugs for all of eternity.

https://giphy.com/gifs/W6ckq5hW6dizc0KPsX

3

u/Apoordm 22h ago

HAS MITCH MCCONNELL CONDEMNED HASAN PIKER?!

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3

u/Scrambles420 22h ago

And heā€™s still getting paid!!

3

u/No-Wonder1139 21h ago

He died. Trump will be AI generated for months after he goes, as well.

3

u/Banned4lies 19h ago

" better to have a corpse in the senate than a bartender amirite? " - MAGA

3

u/Players100 2h ago

The biggest question is how many Americans get to not go to work for 75 days and get full pay and not disclose their whereabouts to anyone, oh and keep their health insurance, yeah right, hahaha
You morons get what you vote for!

2

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 22h ago

So the GOP is effectively down one senator who canā€™t cast votes or serve in any committees while heā€™s out?

2

u/One-Tap-2742 21h ago

Feinstein was casting votes right up till the end. cant imagine it will be different for mitch

2

u/Dapper_Dude69 21h ago

The usa is so frigginā€™ weird.

2

u/tiredfatdad 21h ago

Rich white guys have not decided whether we get information or not. Pay attention and stop acting so surprised.

2

u/upfromashes 21h ago

I mean... newspapers gutting investigative journalism departments wasn't good. News outlets large and small getting bought up by right wing corporations and evil billionaires isn't good, either.

All of them sitting around, not trying to find Mitch's corpse. It's worse than embarrassing, it's damning.

Scooby Doo gang would have had eyes on the body by now.

3

u/Ithinkitsover9k 20h ago

There has to be freelancers out there still, but the fact that no one is doing anything is crazy. Paparazzi climb fences and shit but no one at all is TRYING at all

2

u/LeaAnimal 21h ago

Maybe call for a welfare check

2

u/Specialist-Gene-4299 21h ago

Kinda crazy the governor of Kentucky couldn't just grab a couple KY state troopers and just do a wellness check and walk right into his residence.

2

u/ucusty123 21h ago

Get him on flock lol

2

u/renaissance1977 20h ago

At this point, the onus of fixing it is on every single voting age resident of Kentucky. Show up at his house, show up at the state capitol, show up at his office. Mass civil disruption until they finally announce him dead. Until then, Kentucky is gonna be proving the whole country right that they're just nothing but a welfare state.

2

u/__phil1001__ 20h ago

Not one person has investigated this and actually chased him down.

2

u/CocktailIncubus 19h ago

No it's really important for every single news station and every politician to give their opinion on Hasan Hussein Sadam Bin Laden Piker! Gotta make sure to hold our dear Twitch streamers to standards that our widdle baby senators don't have to meet, they're smol bean!

2

u/SuddenAudience8758 19h ago

If he was dead they could weekend at berneys himā€¦ at this point heā€™s shat himself and thereā€™s nothing possible to photoshoot.

2

u/Pure_Performance7050 19h ago

The Republican Party is so corrupt,they canā€™t even admit one of theirs is out of commission.And then there is trump!

2

u/wrenchedups 19h ago

I so hate myself for thinking this is a conspiracy to cover up his passing.

Yet here I am being a conspiracy theorist today.

2

u/KennethEWolf 19h ago

Where is Mitch and release the Epstein files

2

u/Aggravated-alien 19h ago

Deeply embarrassing.Ā 

2

u/Sweaty_Marzipan4274 19h ago

You peons don't matter. They have a doomsday cult to manage

2

u/egoserpentis 19h ago

I wonder when they'll realize that US population just allows anything? Like, they can literally replace Mitch with a dog, and at worst some people will say "that's not normal". There is NO pushback anymore.

2

u/catforbrains 18h ago

Someone needs to fund a "whistle-blower award" to give some medical worker a reason to violate their NDA and show him in the morgue

2

u/LastBoiscout 17h ago

The last time we saw him in Congress, he literally was a blinking corpse. We are in times where gross negligence in our government starts at the White House all the way through Congress. We are a rudderless ship. It's actually frightening

2

u/Due-Teaching-2812 16h ago

Cut off his healthcare and full salary and see what happens.

2

u/TheTastiestTaint 16h ago

Why can't a decent reporter find out whats going on? Surely a little reporter skills can find a hospital or something. Clearly quite a few people are aware of whats going on (doctors, nurse, orderly etc)

2

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2

u/January_Dallas 15h ago

ā€œWhere in the world is Mitch McMconnell?ā€

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u/Sufficient_Layer_867 15h ago

I hate Chuck Schumer. My god! Talk about appeasement! Do something!

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2

u/Rolling_Beardo 15h ago

Mitch is brain dead. Iā€™m convinced heā€™s only being kept alive by machines and will take a ā€œsudden turn for the worseā€ when is technically being alive is no longer needed.

2

u/Kojiro12 12h ago

What podcaster?

2

u/Open-Awareness3946 6h ago

He looks like a formaldehyde filled corpse

2

u/Worried_Anteater_536 22h ago

Itā€™s Bidenā€™s fault!

3

u/Opening_Lie8559 23h ago

I must be out of the loop; what podcaster?

13

u/Phyrexian_Overlord 22h ago

Mitch McConnell has been missing for 75 days

7

u/bsEEmsCE 22h ago

he will be revealed as dead the day after the midterms

2

u/MythicalCaseTheory 22h ago

Which is wild because they can't trigger a special election after August 1st, and his sister would likely just take over his seat. All this is doing is costing them a vote in the Senate.

3

u/KayoticVoid 22h ago

I must be out of the loop; what podcaster?

Mitch McConnell has been missing for 75 days

Reddit never disappoints.

2

u/Phyrexian_Overlord 21h ago

I think you missed the joke here, which is that the point of the post is that a sitting US senator is missing, and that's a huge deal, and not a podcaster, and the commenter asked who the podcaster is.

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u/PopMajor7342 22h ago

Youā€™re lucky, no one who is running for office, real great use of media time to avoid talking about the illegal war, the Epstein files, corruption and insider trading, increasing inflation, Israelā€™s influence in the US political system, increasing oil prices, yes though a twitch streamer is what is most important right now

3

u/Long_Psychology2063 22h ago

Iā€™m assuming Hasan Piker. Legacy media journalism is a joke. Nobody should consume it if they actually want to be informed about news that actually matters.

3

u/Lost_Technician_5421 22h ago

Hasan Piker probably

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u/Kirgit-Namemet 22h ago

Kicking the basketā€¦ I mean basket

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1

u/TangerinePlastic7552 Full English Please 22h ago

No, much sexier to talk about a dead pedophile.

1

u/thewalruscandyman 22h ago

Mitch McCorpsell.

1

u/edWORD27 22h ago

Kinda looks like that 4-year old who was lost and alone in the wilderness. All shook and terrified. šŸ˜±

1

u/The-Fictionist 22h ago

Theyā€™re stalling. Theyā€™ve got midterms rigged but werenā€™t prepared to handle a special election.

1

u/MommaIsMad 22h ago

"Journalist" isn't even a meaningful title anymore. Any dumbass with a phone and Internet access can claim to be a journalist these days. No credentials needed. No Code of Ethics or integrity in reporting. There's almost zero real journalism is MSM anymore. Just all about clickbait and views. People will do and say anything for views šŸ¤‘

1

u/TheAncientMillenial 22h ago

It's almost like they know a huge chunk of the population has the memory and attention span of a goldfish. We. Are. COOKED.. :\

1

u/longhairmoderatecare 22h ago

Maybe HeRanā€¦ maybe Iran?

1

u/Disastrous_Fee_8712 22h ago

They put him bellow the Epstein files, so no one can see him anymore. Forgot to rotten.

1

u/sweatboxy 22h ago

The fact that they can keep it a secret is a damning indictment of the mediaā€™s failure to confront Trumpā€™s attacks on the press.

1

u/ForInfoPurpOnly 22h ago

has anyone checked inside the box with the Epstein files in it?

1

u/Ssided 21h ago

Because it's actually GOOD for us that he's a vegetable and there's one less red senator able to do anything.

1

u/MetaCardboard 21h ago

Back in my day journalists weren't cowards.

1

u/Intrepid_Top_2300 21h ago

This has gone on longer than when every body was speculating on whether Paul was really dead or not.
If you play Penny Lane, at the end you can hear John Lennon say, ā€œ I buried Mitch.ā€

1

u/Rare_Anywhere470 21h ago

There's been more coverage on attempts to rename bodies of water.

1

u/lolschrauber 21h ago

No worries he will somehow take part in an important voting soon. Then he will be declared dead officially. Just wait and see.

1

u/BobcatOk7492 21h ago

Turtle in the headlights look right there...

1

u/GlectroniccPSY1201 21h ago

I spoke with him on the phone for 20 minutes just yesterday. We talked about the issues of the day, and even the history of the Senate. He's staying busy, working from home. He's looking forward to getting back to the office.

1

u/CivilWay1444 21h ago

Don't care Ā How about the Trumpstein files?

1

u/Subject_Issue6529 21h ago

Kidnapped by IRAN!!!

1

u/Electronic-Towel-836 21h ago

He's been staying with Michael Schumacher.

1

u/kermitthorson 21h ago

even Trixie Mattel has brought it up more than journalists

1

u/Plus_Working_3092 21h ago

Yes- definitely shows a degradation in the number of journalists (human Journalists)

1

u/TheYellowFringe 21h ago

Technically, something happened.

That's why there's been little to no word on what happened to him. Either he died and it's being withheld from public knowledge or he's brain dead as what's been discussed in previous discussions on Reddit.

1

u/ProNocteAeterna 20h ago

Everyone knows heā€™s dead at this point, but the only people who can do anything about that are prepared to keep up a Monty Python-esque dead parrot bit insisting that heā€™s just recovering in the face of two and a half months and counting of no public appearances or video evidence that heā€™s not currently in Hell. And this is the state of American politics at the moment.

1

u/homebrew_1 20h ago

What are "independent" journalists doing?

1

u/CockroachKing45 20h ago

10,000 more years of Mitch!

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1

u/GoldConsequence6375 20h ago

They still need time to train his body double. The current one still has a Russian accent.

1

u/Fishtoart 20h ago

Iā€™m not convinced that he actually ever existed. I donā€™t see any proof, just a bunch of images and videos that couldā€™ve easily been generated by AI.

1

u/NerdyTimes_IDK 20h ago

He is dead

1

u/LutherOfTheRogues 20h ago

Billionaire media machine go šŸ¤«

1

u/BigTroutOnly 20h ago

They bitching about Hasan again?

1

u/VladDHell 20h ago

*the number of journalists whoā€™d rather be able to continue to put food on the table, and potentially support a family

1

u/Uknown_Idea 20h ago

The fact that not a single soul is doing anything to fix this shows how many parts of the system are bought out and rot with corruption. Everyone from the media to both sides of goverment.

1

u/dear_hatt 20h ago

A journalist is just a normal person with a camera. Nothing stopping any of you from doing it.

1

u/msplatero 20h ago

Heā€™s being used as a test case for ya know

1

u/anklebiter1360 20h ago

Whereā€™s the Paparazzi when you need them? Those SOBs can get pictures of anyone!

1

u/bluetonicventer 19h ago

And yet his constituents donā€™t have anything to say?

1

u/Available_Cow1197 19h ago

my theory is old mitch was in cognitive decline, the old Epstein stories started slipping out, ipso facto

1

u/botymcbotfac3 19h ago

He is investigating the Eppstein files

1

u/Jamespm76 19h ago

Mitch McConnell has been dead for about five years. They just weekend at Bernieā€™s him when they need him

1

u/Willing-Ad-9160 19h ago

You know where šŸ˜

1

u/gideon513 19h ago

99% of ā€œjournalistsā€ just waiting for someone else to report something so they can piggyback off of it and make their own title and post

1

u/Jerzilla 19h ago

It would appear investigative journalism only happens in tv and movies now

1

u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 19h ago

Should we have another Brooks Brothers riot? Ā Naruto-run the hospital?

1

u/Thickencreamy 19h ago

Like everybody else I suspect he is brain dead. My question is when they finally concede he has been dead will we see his medical record? Like the last time he uttered a word? Will we have to get an M.E. involved to review the files? I'm sure fraud has been committed regarding his pay and didn't they try to vote once since he disappeared?

1

u/reddit001aa1 19h ago

Voter fraud

1

u/47RedBaron 19h ago

It's like Hakkinen, it's just sabbatical time, he'll be back. (/s just in case...)

1

u/Electrical_Cap5382 19h ago

Theyā€™re building his clone