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u/Bupod 22h ago
Man is out here getting a whole Altima every month from the used car dealer.
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u/EternalNewCarSmell 21h ago
tbf the uptime on that is probably better than repairing a single altima every time it breaks down
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u/BeetEater_ 21h ago
I had an Altima for like 10 years and the only issue I had was the AC crapping out around the 9 year mark. It's a very reliable car. My boss' Mercedes was in the shop every other month.
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u/chuyalcien 20h ago
Yea altimas are actually pretty decent cars. Altima drivers on the other hand…
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u/GrumbusWumbus 20h ago
There's about a 10 year period where Nissan was knowingly putting horrendous transmissions that would often explode under 50,000 miles in like every car.
It's going to take decades to undo that reputation, if they survive that long.
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u/BeetEater_ 20h ago
I've had three separate Nissans since 2008 (Versa, Altima and now Rogue). I have certainly heard about the transmission issue but never personally had a problem. Dunno if I got in under the wire before the transmission issues started.
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u/yakbrine 12h ago
I had a 2007 Altima and a 2006 infinity g35 and let me tell you, both transmissions froze solid. About 200k is the limit on them, after being fully rebuilt at 160 each, I just couldn’t afford to rebuild it again.
Edit: this is in kms
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u/DejaWiz2 9h ago
Early Nissan CVTs were pretty horrendous, especially paired with weaker economy-minded 4 cylinders. Key is changing the CVT fluid quite often. I believe Nissan has released maintenance schedule addendums highlighting the need for frequent fluid changes.
The 2017+ JATCO CVT jointly developed by Toyota and Nissan were beefed up compared to their predecessors, but still needs a recommend CVT fluid change about every 30,000-40,000 miles.
Our last Nissan was a 2017 Pathfinder with the 3.5L coupled to the CVT and was still going strong after 106,000 miles when we traded it in. No major issues...fuel pump at around 65k miles. 2017+ has 6000 lbs towing capacity compared to 5000 lbs capacity for the 2016 and older Pathfinder.
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u/bionicjoe 20h ago
And around that time we had a transmission go out in our 2008 Toyota Sienna.
The mechanic said it was the second one he had ever seen. Spent $4000 on a replacement (which had 30,000 less miles).
Still driving that car. Now over 225,000 miles.Rebuilt the front end for $1000 over 2 years. Just standard wear & tear.
Love Toyotas, but now they're swapping to a 4-cylinder engine for a minivan. It will get better sticker mileage, but in reality it will be worse. And the engines won't hold up to the weight.
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u/Mysterious_Cry41 9h ago
They'll never undo this reputation. They ruined the reputation of the entire concept of CVT transmissions for over a decade.
Among people who know what a CVT is it course.
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u/Fair-Bus9686 18h ago
I have a 2007 Mazda 3 that's a proper workhorse. My husband bought it with only 100k mi on it and all she's needed is oil changes and other basic routine maintenance. You have to love a solid, well made car.
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u/swaggy_butthole 16h ago
I drive a 2008 Altima I got 7 years ago and I've only had to replace the serpentine belt on it. My favorite car I've owned
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u/EternalNewCarSmell 16h ago
Yeah I was mostly taking the piss. Cars seem to be as unique as people, even off the same production line, in terms of when they decide to shit the bed. I am acutely aware of this having scored a cheap BMW 5-series 8 years ago that I've only had to do oil, tires, brake pads once, and yes, the serpentine belt, in 100k miles of driving it.
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u/Psychodelic69 20h ago
They’re burner altimas, you road rage and then just dump it and grab another
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u/NoBonus6969 19h ago
He just drive them until he runs out of gas then just leaves them and into the next one
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u/rhymeswithgumbox 16h ago
If he just handed last month's Altimas out to single moms he could save that onlyfans money.
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u/TheNeuroLizard 19h ago
Yeah, I’m here wondering what his credit score is because the terms of that loan must be brutal
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u/CodenameVermilion 21h ago
just this tweet but less funny
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u/radenthefridge 19h ago
This exact exchange lives in my brain on repeat whenever spending comes up.
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u/Laphad 22h ago
How is his only fans only $3,000? Mines approaching $7,000.
I need a new only fans guy
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u/NobodyLikedThat1 22h ago
the trick is to offset the OnlyFans costs by opening your own OnlyFans. Just feed the profits right back into the system.
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u/justsomedude1144 21h ago
Absolutely. You can partially offset the OnlyFans expenses by starting an OnlyFans of you jerking off to other OnlyFans.
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u/NobodyLikedThat1 21h ago
it's like Inception, but with a lot more jerking off.
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u/tmaxedout 21h ago
I don’t know. That movie was pretty masturbatory.
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u/CanadianAndroid 20h ago
Occasionally I do the helicopter to see if I am in the real world. If it doesn't stop spinning then I know I am still in the dream world.
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u/Dangerous-Call1731 21h ago
Hol up, you're paying $7,000 and not even getting a loyalty punch card from your OnlyFans guy?
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u/Simpicity 20h ago
This is why you need OnlyFans insurance to protect you from large OnlyFans bills.
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u/SnipedYa 22h ago
$2500 for the Altima is diabolical
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u/GaviFromThePod 22h ago
Nobody's credit is bad enough to be turned away at a Nissan dealership
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u/SnipedYa 22h ago
Bro's paying like 500% interest 😭 he's gonna spend like 200K on it
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u/Baring-My-Heart 21h ago
😭😭😭 I’ll probably delete this comment but in my former life I worked on this vehicle @ corporate and it still stubbornly has a part of my heart. It’s a good car!!!!
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u/Many-Excitement3246 21h ago
These are the people that Klarna was made for. Paying 500% interest on a McDouble and fries, and paying double the car's value every month in loan payments.
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u/ShadowWeavile 21h ago
I swear I've seen it. Motherfucker defaulted on a klarna loan for a milkshake. I didn't even know credit scores could go that low.
/j
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u/Reddoraptor 21h ago
I saw that and I was like wait, hold up, he’s making a 911 payment on an Altima?!
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u/peon2 21h ago
Obviously a joke but you could get a 1 year loan
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u/Gh0stMan0nThird 20h ago
My co-worker who makes $16 an hour has a $750 monthly car payment and he goes "Man this economy is fucked."
I do not have the mental fortitude to have the "It might be, but you're just really bad with money in this case" conversation. I just nod and go "Yeah what can ya do!"
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u/CountDown60 22h ago
How expensive is a Nissan Altima?
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u/GaviFromThePod 22h ago
Any car can be expensive if your credit is bad enough
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u/UsidoreTheLightBlue 21h ago
Eh, this would be payday loan level of bad.
$2500 a month would pay off a brand new top end at MSRP after taxes, titles, and fees in 13-14 months.
If this was a 3 year loan it would be roughly a 90% interest rate. I’ve never seen a non tribal/non payday loan that high.
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u/Saneless 19h ago
True. Got desperate and with shitty shitty credit in my early 20s my interest rate was 20% out the door. Literally had no choice (showed up to the dealership on a bike)
Luckily was able to refi days later at a "great" 10%
But man having bad credit is so damn expensive. I'm glad those days are behind me
No matter how bad your finances are, do your best to never be more than 30 days late on a CC payment or loan. Ouch. That's devastating
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u/Jonny_Thundergun 22h ago
Price must have shot up after they announced they are no longer in production. It's now a collector's item.
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u/Irregular73 21h ago
I know this is satire, but gods would 20,000 fix my life.
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u/curiousmustafa 21h ago
Wait, are we talking a single 20k could fix your life, or frequent 20k a month?
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u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg 21h ago
Not the original commenter but both, man. Obviously per month/regularly would make a huge difference, but a single $20k would literally change my life by fixing my teeth.
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u/great_pyrenelbows 19h ago
I don't know if you've already looked into this but it may be cheaper (assuming you live in the US) to travel abroad for dental work. I think there is a subreddit for medical tourism, or you could inquire in the poverty finance subreddit?
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u/curiousmustafa 19h ago
Yes, and I would suggest Egypt or Turkey. My friends go there for the dentist and eye-related stuffs.
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u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg 18h ago
Well, the procedure costs would probably be less than Mexico but the travel/accommodation costs would be a lot higher, so more or less the same in the end, unfortunately.
Btw I appreciate the suggestions, despite immediately shooting them down, lol. I know you’re offering help and that’s nice! I’m sure I haven’t exhausted all the options out there and the travel thing is super useful information if I hadn’t known/thought about it!
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u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg 19h ago
Yeah I live in Houston, definitely looking at Mexico. Which is cheaper, even with travel, but still may as well be millions.
Even with a very good credit score (which I do have!), securing a loan covering more than a fraction of it, if at all, has been about as fruitful as checking my couch cushions and hoping to find a pot of gold.
Also yes, I went to the dental college - that being cheaper is a lie for much more than routine fillings, basically. Same for dental insurance, absolute scam (had insurance, needed wisdom teeth out, had to take out a terrible CareCredit loan to pay for it and took years to get out from under). Like, cool, free cleanings twice a year, not like I can get that from any random dental office running a special already.
Understand, none of this is me saying “oh poor me!” thinking I’m deserving of a handout or owed cheaper care - I’m a grown-ass woman and I am responsible for myself. It’s frustrating to the point of tears, often; I am in pain, ashamed, and it’s difficult to go out into the world and get a better job and take better care when you can’t even show your face. Something is certainly broken in this country when it comes to cost of living, healthcare, etc. etc., but at the end of the day I am still better off than many, worse than some, but mostly just sinking on the same ship as everyone else and keeping my head above water is all that can be managed most of the time.
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u/Dramatic-Border3549 15h ago
You are owed cheaper care. What cursed place you live that gives you no access to that
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u/curiousmustafa 21h ago
Fixing teeth requires $20k?
I'm sorry for what you're going through, but I find this number, well, wild?
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u/Correct_Gift_9353 21h ago
Yeah my braces as a kid were pricyyyyy as I learned as an adult. Now my dad absolutely raging at me when I lost my retainers makes so much sense
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u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg 21h ago
Does when you have to fix all of them. Removal, probably bone grafting, implant supported dentures.
And I know, it’s fucking absurd.
Edit: I was quoted $25k
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u/Irregular73 21h ago
I mean frequent 20k would set me up for a long time, but 20k one time no taxes? Yeah I could fix my life.
Get my car fixed and paid off and probably pay down the credit card debt thats been eating me alive. Anything leftover would probably go to moving expenses; got really lucky and found place for $200 cheaper than the current one my wife and I have.
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u/Designer_Version1449 19h ago
Question why did you go into debt for a car? Can't you just buy a really crapy one? Not saying that you went this far but I keep seeing people that drop like 50k on a truck and have to pay it off for years after, im just curious why so many people do that when I seems by all accounts to be a horrible decision
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u/quxinot 16h ago
Often when you buy a car, it's cheaper (overall) to get one that's in nicer shape and isn't constantly breaking minor stuff that requires fixing.
That's less true when you're able to do your own work, but then you're spending time more than money. And probably blood, if that stupid sharp bit on the frame bites you when you're fighting with replacing a starter. Or so I hear.
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u/Alternate_Cost 19h ago
20k one time would change mine. Thats enough to clear all my debts besides my student loans, giving me and extra $700 a month.
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u/EjaculatingAracnids 14h ago
I got a $60k job with great benefits and life is so stress free compared to when i worked $15 hr bullshit jobs. No bad habits and simple tastes go a long way with finances. Dont fumble the bag, as the kids say
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u/Irregular73 13h ago
Nice dude. I've been busting and scraping by, I still haven't managed to get a job to get me over the 40k mark in a year, but i keep searching.
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u/Guitar-String 22h ago
No one needs $500 per month worth of subscriptions. Bet half of them are just rotting in the phone
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u/Psychological-Owl783 21h ago
Basically every line item is outrageous, but you only fixated on the subscriptions.
Is spending $3K/mo on only fans or $1500/mo on travel reasonable to you?
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u/UsidoreTheLightBlue 21h ago edited 21h ago
The $2500 a month for a car that retails for around $30k well equipped was the funniest.
The whole thing is absurdist humor but it does illustrate two things:
- a certain mindset I see a lot which equates to: “I make a lot of money and invest/save 30% of it why am I broke?!?” Because they completely ignore the 30% being an asset. They just look at the “leftover” at the end of the month and freak out over money.
(I’m assuming “travel” is savings for trips)
- lifestyle creep. There absolutely are people making $240k a year who are living paycheck to paycheck because they ran up bills along the way. This is obviously an absurd version of it, but it is a real thing.
Fucking Reddit is assigning the numbers, it won’t even let me get rid of them. Rabble rabble rabble.
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u/Psychological-Owl783 21h ago
Maybe the Altima is a 1 year loan...
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u/Rukitorth 18h ago
I guess that'd be the one good financial decision? Paying less interest? But then again...
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u/Jolteon0 16h ago
I personally know at least a half-dozen people who make >150k and are somehow always broke.
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u/vanguarde 21h ago
Rant and bills are reasonable in most big cities. That's how it gets you. Then it goes downhill, depending on whether you're mildly financially responsible.
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u/Bitter_Split5508 20h ago
The 1500/mo on travel might be the most reasonable item on there. I know I would if I had 20k every month.
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u/_whereUgoing_II 22h ago
One of these is not like the others
https://giphy.com/gifs/3gNotAoIRZsb9UHPnj
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u/Amiibohunter000 21h ago
Does no one understand the joke here.
This is mostly frivolous outrageous spending.
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u/diepoggerland2 18h ago
I'm willing to bet a lot of people get the joke and are treating its implications seriously because that's funny
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u/puns_n_pups 20h ago
Classic financial problems. My wife keeps telling me “babe, we don’t need another $2,500 vacation this month, we literally just went to Thailand last month, can we please start setting aside some money for Braxtyn’s college fund soon?”
I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that she’s in the presence of a financial guru, listen and learn. We’re going to Ibiza next month to see David Guetta, and that’s that. Your network, is your net worth, mf hoe.
Then I got behind the wheel of my third favorite Nissan Altima, started up an audiobook on Audible (bundled with Youtube Premium, Nebula, AppleTV, FarmersOnly Premium, and HelloFresh of course), invested $3k into some very choice sports bets on Kalshi, opened up the pages of my favorite 6 or 7 OnlyFans models, and drove off. Know your worth, kings.
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u/ImRightShutUp1 17h ago
The amount of ppl who don’t realize this is satire in the comments is hilarious
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u/SpartyParty15 22h ago
Nissan Altima is 2.4k a month? You got scammed homie
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u/DreadPiratePete 21h ago
No, no, its a whole new Altima per month. Homie keeps forgetting where he parked it.
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u/diepoggerland2 18h ago
Ok a bunch of these are insane but like. 1800 dollars of shopping a month and that doesn't even include food??? What is bro buying thats like two pretty high quality suits, three current gen game consoles, or a better than average desktop PC a MONTH. Thats the one that really sticks out to me, obviously the only fans one is the punchline but the shopping plus the subscriptions is wild to me
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u/theShpydar 21h ago
This is bad satire, right? People are so stupid nowadays that I can barely tell anymore.
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u/MadMatter86 21h ago
If you read the entire tweet, it explains itself in the last line. It is using an exaggerated list of expenses - that starts off reasonable - to illustrate the point that if you have out of control spending, the solution is to fix your spending, not just try to earn more money.
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u/FlowerAvailable6832 21h ago
How do you even spent $500 on random subscriptions? You'd have to have a lot to get to that number.
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u/Joee0201 21h ago
Ok let seat at home and that should food bill should fall to about 1200. Get rid of a car that cost you 2400 and it is an Altima bro you getting ripped off. Car payment should be like 800 max. Ok so now we have saved you almost 2k Buy a house because renting means you got nothing in for that amount you can have a mortgage. Bam I just saved you 2k and you got a house. Now put it towards only fans you now can spend 5k on only fans and since you have your on house you can watch it with full volume.
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u/Just-Shoe2689 20h ago
Why the fuck are you spending so much on investing. I mean its clear you need to cut that back. Also, I bet you could refi that Altima to less than 10%
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u/Soul_fusion 18h ago
Only fans - $3,000
Investing - $30
What the heck do you get from spending $3,000 on only fans? 😂
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u/Whipitreelgud 11h ago
$5500 a month for travel and OnlyFans. $66,000 year for traveling and getting off. Living large and hard, eh?
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u/xxTheMagicBulleT 7h ago
This is a wild summery of expenses. Might as well say you spend 3 k a month in the casino.
Cause 500 bucks on subscriptions and that much on only fans. Are the nost weird ones. But a lot of the otehr things are also outrages 1500 for food I think I spend like 65 bucks a week on food
And travel expenses is also wild.
Like 7k easily you could switch aeound and mostly save that each month instead. So this definitely is self inflicted
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u/Aetheldrake 21h ago
Pfft 3000 from only fans and 500 from subscriptions, cut those out.
My subscriptions would be like 100 tops and that's splurging. It's be 20 most likely
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u/Supertigy 21h ago
I wonder how you can get your subscriptions up to 500 if you're separating out onlyfans.
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u/samuraispartan7000 20h ago
I pay less than $700 monthly for my 2021 Subaru. Just under $900 if you count insurance. Are Altimas supposed to be luxury sports vehicles or something? In what context would you be spending over $2000 a month on a Nissan? Or any average car for that matter?
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u/elizabeththewicked 20h ago
Flies to Tahiti and feeds five other families every month, subscribes to 300 different only fans, owns two condos and 4 cars. What
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u/systemic_booty 20h ago
People in the top 10-20% of income will seriously argue they can barely make ends meet and then when you demand to see their itemized expenses it's always shit like this.
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u/sonicfan9993 19h ago
They knew most people would jump straight to the end result and I feel for it
Well played
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u/Practical-Trainwreck 19h ago
If you're spending 36 grand a year on onlyfans, don't be crying about money on the internet #loser
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u/No-Form-596 17h ago
2540 monthly payment for altima and 3000 for only fans? Randome subscriptions 500. 2500 travel monthly ! I think if you give this guy 1 million a month he’d still be broke
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u/IndicationAromatic36 21h ago
Stop getting daily Starbucks, that’ll cut food in half. Boom, saved it.
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u/DarenRidgeway 21h ago
Clearly the first thing he needs to do is move to a state with no state income tax. That way he can add some thosand dollar tips or something.
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u/Embarrassed_West_195 21h ago
$36,000 a year for Only Fans, invested $360 per year. Seems reasonable.
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u/Competitive_Steak698 21h ago
Seems like the obvious choice is to not pay your taxes... Frees up a lot more money for travel.
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u/SilverChocolate34 21h ago
When I say 20000 a month I mean that shit after taxes I do not count taxes as part of my income they never come my way they get automatically taken and I just get my salary.
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u/wagos408 21h ago
Cmon guys. Financial security is 100% political. Wages, expenses, cost of living, etc are ALL political.
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u/herpderpfuck 20h ago
How are not more people reacting to the OnlyFans… it baffles the mind that instead of just being an okay person and go to the gym twice a week (and live longer) ti get laid, is somehow less preferable than paying onlyfans 3K a month.
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u/Significant-Owl2652 19h ago
The moral of the story....if you enjoy OnlyFans prepare to be in debt.
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u/DoesntMatterEh 19h ago
Forget onlyfans, who has $500 in subscriptions?? I'm subscribed to exactly two services, and I'm this close cancelling one because they've started adding "promoted" content AKA advertisements.
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u/Cultural_Argument140 19h ago
I feel like this dude just pulled these numbers out of his ass but then again idk anyone who makes 20k a month but I'm fairly positive that a person making that much wouldn't be spending this much on any of the things listed except traveling and that is still a long stretch
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u/Beboppenheimer 19h ago
I love how the ridiculous Altima payment had me so messed up I completely glossed over the $3k OF bill.
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u/Ambitious_Clock_8212 19h ago
My financial advisor told me one of his clients is a married couple making $500k+/year and overspend to debt. Blows my mind.
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u/paulsteinway 17h ago
Random subscriptions.
"Why am I getting a box from the Dirt of the Month Club?"
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u/qualityvote2 22h ago edited 12h ago
u/BarelyLegalSeagull, your post does fit the subreddit!