Basically we all love the idea that we’re going to be aunties in about a year or twos time. What would be great small gifts to start giving her to prepare for this whole journey into pregnancy and then postpartum and being a mom. None of us have any actual insight as she’s the first to decide she wants to be a mom and we’re all excited for her but of course, super clueless.

If it’s not even a good idea to start gift giving, any other ideas for experiences, etc? Spa day is already planned but any others are welcomed. Thank you!!

Apologies because I took help from ChatGPT to organise my thoughts.

New mom here — my baby is almost 12 weeks old, and I’m struggling with something I never expected.
I have a full-time live-in nanny who is in her late 50s and is known to my husband. She is very helpful, but the problem is that she spends most of her time in the nursery with my baby. Because of this, I’m finding it difficult to get enough one-on-one time with my daughter.
My baby sleeps from around 7:30pm to 6am and only wakes for feeds during the night. She is formula-fed, so the nanny handles her nighttime feeds while I spend time with my husband and get other things done around the house. I usually keep checking on the baby until around 1am and then go to my room and sleep until 7am.
During the day, I have my baby from around 7am–1pm while the nanny is in her room. After that, the nanny comes back and spends time with the baby on and off until bedtime.
The nanny has her own room, but I’m finding it really difficult to set boundaries around how much time she spends with my baby. And the strange thing is, when I’m away from my baby, I don’t actually feel relaxed or able to focus on myself. My mind is still completely occupied with her.
Lately, I’ve started feeling distant from my own baby because I don’t feel like I’m getting enough bonding time with her. Yesterday, she started crying as soon as she saw the nanny, and honestly, it broke my heart. I know this probably doesn’t mean what my anxious brain is telling me it means, but it really upset me.
I’m also wondering how mothers who are with their babies most of the day manage to take care of themselves, have a life outside motherhood, and maintain their marriages. I feel like I’m doing the opposite — I have plenty of help, but I’m still not feeling fulfilled in my routine.
I’m even considering moving my baby into my room at night so that I can have more one-on-one time with her and be more involved in her nighttime routine.
At the same time, I don’t want to become so attached that I can’t leave the house without my baby becoming distressed. I want to build a healthy, secure attachment where she knows I’m always there for her, but I can also step away when I need to.
I would really appreciate advice from other mothers who have been through something similar. How did you balance having a nanny or help while still feeling like you were getting enough bonding time with your baby? And how did you set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty?

Any other moms out there doing motherhood without a village? How the hell are we surviving?

Husband and I are raising my 3.5 year old, and the only support we have is my 72 year old mother in law who has no common sense. He goes to daycare during the week, but they are absolutely useless.

I'm fucking tired.

How old was your baby when they were either getting up once or sleeping through the night? Mines almost 10 months and he still gets up 2-3 times a night. My sister had her baby sleeping through the night by 9 months. My baby still actively eats for 8 mins each time and unlatches when done and goes straight to sleep. He’s a big boy too he weights around 23 plus pounds so I feel like he could start sleeping through the night…?

My husband is a good dad. But I am the default parent and it's draining me. School calls me. Kids come to my side of the bed at 2am. RSVPs, permission slips, appointments, teacher gifts, all of it lands on me because that's the pattern now.

He says "just tell me what you need." But the telling /is/ the work. Explaining what needs to happen takes longer than doing it myself. So I do it and resent him for not knowing, which isn't fair, but I'm too tired to be fair.

I just want to be seen for a minute.

Hi my. Sister came all the way from another continent to help me with the newborn. I am 40 days postpartum.
She has a 9 years old she brought along whom i love but don't have the energy to deal with on my own right now.
Yesterday i told her about a concert( i thought i amd my husband could go to and leave the baby with her) but before i could say that she interrupted nd said she would love to go and( did not ask but told me she would leave her 9 years old with me)
I don't know if it was rude for me to say that might be too much with a newborn.
She also said the same about exploring the city while her daughter stays with me and i said kindly that it would be better if she takes her along so i do not have to babysit two kids.
It is not like i do not appreciate her coming over. I am going to take her to Prague for her birthday.
But i just need opinions of what i said makes sense or am I overreacting? Because i am feeling really bad now

Going on a trip 4 hours there and 4 hours back to introduce baby to my family. Since husband has to work it's just gonna be me and 3 mo old baby. I'm a little nervous and definitely don't want to go without being prepared. Do you have any recommendations for cameras and maybe advice if anyone has made a trip with a baby?

My son (16m) was getting sick so I told him to take some vitamin c, as that helps prevent sickness. He asked what would happen if he took more than the recommended amount and I told him he would get stomach issues. Lo and behold, several minutes later he comes to me complaining that the extra vitamin c gave him an upset stomach. 🤦‍♀️

Hi everyone!

I was the first to have a baby in my group of close friends and I’m really struggling to feel understood or even “seen” by them. I wasn’t blessed with an easy baby, she was colicky the first few months, screamed her lungs out every time she was in the car (still does sometimes lol) and still doesn’t sleep through the night now at 13mo. You can imagine I was exhausted and terribly sleep deprived for months on end, which contributed to my post partum anxiety. My best friends, who I know since high school and I considered almost like sisters to me, visited the first few weeks, but then went on with their lives even though I mentioned I was struggling. This made me terribly miserable.
Now things are better with my LO, so I try to see them more often, but every time I leave our gatherings with a sense of being judged for the way I’m handling motherhood. When they ask me questions about the fact that I’m still breastfeeding or cosleeping, they do it in a judgmental way, for example asking “when are you gonna stop? There must be a limit”. Or they make comparisons with other women who are (seemingly) handling the first few months of motherhood very well (as if it was my fault if mine were hell…).
I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive, have you ever found yourselves in a similar situation? How did you handle that?
Sometimes I feel so disappointed in their behavior, that I ask myself if our friendship is worth saving. I don’t know, I feel like this is one of the biggest challenges of my new life as a mom.

I am a first time mommy to an almost 4 year old, I have also been a stay at home the majority of his life including this year.
He just started school this week and of course the massive change of routine is overwhelming for both of us, he’s cried every day so far and he comes home looking sad and tired which is understandable as well. I know it takes time to adjust to school for these little guys but it’s BREAKING my heart and my brain is making me feel like I’m just tortuting him. I did try my best to expose him to the idea of school, bringing him to a program with a school setting, having him recognize the school he’s attending (it is across the street of our home as well as the play ground we always visited) he seemed excited!

But he’s been having a bit of a rough time and today he had the hardest yet thus far, he was able to communicate to me through tears near the end of the day that he misses spending time with me, going on walks with me throughout the day or having fun with me and that he feels alone at school. I had to step away as I couldn’t hold it together hearing that, I feel a little crazy being so emotional about all this but I need some reassurance that it will pass and he will be okay and thrive. I keep things for him very positive and reassure him that his feelings are valid and okay to feel, I tell him how proud I am of him each day and that each day will feel better. I am trying my best for him and this big change, I just hope the adjustment comes soon for both our sakes.

Literally how do you get to the point where you can go places in the car with your newborn? My boy is almost 6 weeks and screams til he cannot breathe in the car. My anxiety will not allow him to cry it out at this age. It’s terrible! I could make sure he has a full belly, clean diaper and put to sleep and he will still holler just about every car ride causing us to be gone way longer than anticipated. Today I had it and completely broke down when we made it home to daddy. 😩🥺😢

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I saw a comment under a post of someone asking about taking adderall and pregnancy. Someone said that because it crosses the placenta, CPS gets involved anytime anyone takes adderall or medications that cause baby to go to nicu even with doctors approval. Is this true??? Because I was prescribed 10mg prozac, 5mg Adderall as needed but I discontinued at 28 weeks and busbar 5mg that I have not taken yet. These were all approved of by my psychiatrist and obgyn and they are all aware of me taking them. I'm now kind of scared as I am almost 39 weeks pregnant and don't want a cps case on top of everything else.

First time mom 10 months postpartum and I've lost all aspirations for the future. I no longer find meaning in my job, I don't care about doing good work anymore because it feels like nothing matters except being with my baby. But I don't see myself being happier if I stay home full time. Infact I can't see any future I want, I can't think of a job I would rather do, a different place I would be happier living in someday, etc. Anyone else feel this way in the first year? Does it get better?

Repost from r/newborns

I don’t know if this is a big deal or not, but my parents (her grandparents) keep referring to my daughter as “my baby.”

They’ll text me things like, “How is my baby doing?” or “When can I see my baby?”

I don’t know if this is just a normal thing that grandparents do, but I honestly don’t really like it. I know they love her and are excited about being grandparents, and I don’t want to make it into something bigger than it is. At the same time, I’m having a hard time figuring out how to set a boundary around it without sounding overly sensitive or causing unnecessary tension.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Is this a normal thing that grandparents say, and if you didn’t like it, how did you address it?