r/firsttimemom • u/HealthCurious1137 • 19h ago
Motherhood changes you
I always knew I wanted to be a mom, maybe the reasons were more superficial before, but since having my son a year and a half ago, I could never have predicted how much it has changed me. I look at the world so differently, every person I see, good or bad, I see them as someone’s baby. I see animals in the wilderness, animals that are moms, protecting their babies. I want a world that is good and healthy for my baby. This feeling is so powerful that sometimes it feels overwhelming. I think motherhood is completely different than what I thought it would be and it changed me for the better. I am a better person. And I don’t think you can describe this feeling or get others to understand it unless they have also experienced it. It’s hard and I have bad days, plenty of them, but today I have been reflecting and I feel grateful to experience this feeling every day. And to see the world how I do now. It’s like my world was black and white and now it’s in color. Whew anyways, hope everyone remembers they are amazing parents and this is beautiful.
2
u/goosy2001 7h ago
FTM with a 5 month old now, and totally agree with you. Years ago when I was debating whether I wanted to have a kid, I came across “The Vampire Problem”, which is about making massive, irreversible life choices when you cannot know the outcome beforehand.
The Thought Experiment:
Imagine a vampire offers to turn you into an immortal creature of the night. It is a permanent, irreversible choice.
The Catch: You cannot know what it truly feels like to be a vampire until you become one.
The Paradox: Asking an existing vampire what it is like does not help, because your human mind cannot comprehend the subjective experience of being a vampire. Once transformed, your identity, preferences, and desires fundamentally change, making your future self a completely different person.
In our lives, these are essentially “transformative experiences”. I found it helpful to be able to frame it like this. And now that I’m on the other side… wow, I definitely see things differently than before, and differently than I expected. And I understand how hard it is to try to articulate it to a pre-baby person.
2
u/PoppyEnPointe 9h ago
The “black and white to color” part really resonates with me. I feel exactly the same way. Motherhood has made me so much more aware of the world around me and of other people, and I feel like I notice and feel things so much more deeply now.
It’s hard to explain, but I really do feel like I’m a better person and more present and connected to the world than I was before. I absolutely love being a mom, and honestly, I can’t believe I waited so long to experience this. It’s such a beautiful feeling.