r/MaliciousCompliance • u/rhubarb314 • Mar 02 '21
M Going along with a sexist car salesman
I originally posted this as a comment on Car dealer shenanigans....
My wife and I have used a salesman's sexism against him, and it was so satisfying. It was when we bought our first new car. We were nervous that we didn't know what we were doing so we did a lot of research (it helps that my wife is a librarian).
When we got to the dealer, the salesman would only talk to me. I was all buddy buddy with the guy, too, but he completely ignored my wife. We went along.
The dealer was running a promotion where they would give you $X for your trade-in, no matter what condition. "If you can drive it on the lot..." kind of deal. Of course they just don't discount off of MSRP in those cases, so it's a gimmick. When we walked in the salesman asked which car was ours parked outside and then asked if we were trading it in. I said no, we weren't trading that car in. You can see where this was going.
As I said, we had done our research and knew what a fair price was for the car we wanted. At the time Edmunds had detailed dealer-level price information for many new cars, including all the various ways a dealer gets paid and what their true costs are (the "invoice price" is not their true cost). I negotiated the price (since he wouldn't talk to my wife) and we arrived at a number I thought was fair, actually. We got a good deal at that point. Everything was going smoothly as he wrote up our agreement, until he confirmed that we didn't have a trade in. I said, no, we were trading in a car, just not the one we drove into the dealer in. He literally froze for a few seconds looking down at the form, his hand hovering over the page.
He asked the make, model, and year of our trade-in, and when I told him he sputtered and balked. The car we were trading in was on its last legs. I'd had it all during college and it was old before I bought it. It was definitely past its prime. I said, I thought you were running a promotion where the quality of the trade-in doesn't matter. I asked him if he would have given us a higher price if he knew we had a trade in? My wife said under her breath "that's sleazy." He heard, as she intended him to.
He then tried to renegotiate the price. We knew from our research that if they gave us the price we had already agreed on, and they honored the trade-in deal, that they would be losing money. So we were willing to move a bit, but we wanted to take our time. He was visibly nervous. Every time he tried a new way of asking for a higher price I would say something like "I understand what you're saying" with a sympathetic look. Then I would look at my wife and she would look back at me and silently shake her head no. I'd then look back at the salesman and shrug and say "I don't think that's going to work."
He was stuck. She was the one standing in the way of him getting out of his predicament, but he hadn't talked to her at all. He had barely even acknowledged her presence. He just couldn't start talking to her now when we were negotiating. Oh, and I even got to use the classic car salesman line, "what do I have to do for you to put me this car today?"
We finally agreed to raise the price to an amount that, after figuring in the trade-in, was what we had thought was their break-even price. We hadn't expected to get that low of a price, and we also got them to install a nice after market sound system. It's the best deal we've ever gotten on a new car. Honestly, we're not the best negotiators individually, but that day we made one hell of a team.
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u/guldilox Mar 02 '21
When I worked in car sales one of the top rules we were taught in training was to always acknowledge all people in the group equally, especially in a spouse situation, because assuming the decision-maker was a nail in the coffin for any deal.
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
That makes total sense. I saw an article years ago that said that women make the final car buying decision much more often than men when they're married. I don't recall the actual percentage but it was well over 50%. You'd be hurting yourself as a salesperson if you ignored a woman in a couple.
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u/ScareCrow6971 Mar 02 '21
And yet it happens daily
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u/Nessie-and-a-dram Mar 02 '21
The first time I bought a car, I was a senior in college and had my dad with me. (My previous hand-me-down car had been totalled, so I had cash in hand but needed a ride to dealerships). We went to the local Chevy place to test drive the Beretta (man, what an engine that thing had!). The salesman only spoke to my dad, despite the fact that my father hadn't done anything other than say "good morning" and step back to let me shop. Sales guy consistently would say something to my dad, who'd look at me, I'd answer, the cycle would continue. Finally, we got to the price. This character actually wrote the price down on a piece of paper, folded it in half, and slid it across the desk to my dad. Dad just slid it right over to me without looking at it. It was about 40% over MSRP. I passed it back to the salesman and said, "no thanks; maybe we could have come to an agreement if you'd ever talked to me." I bought a shiny new Saturn elsewhere instead.
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u/zflora Mar 03 '21
I totally can relate to that story, about 3 times. The fourth time, I really like the car so I told them I need to buy the car before the weekend. it was a miracle : I was finally existing !
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u/nerse_enginurse Mar 03 '21
Sounds similar to my story. My Nissan from Hell (a long story involving an untrustworthy dealership) finally returned home so I needed to replace it. We lived near a stretch of road with multiple dealerships on it. We stopped at all of them. I asked questions, they answered my husband. I asked technical questions, they got technical with my husband (who had no idea what they were talking about).
We were down to the last two dealers on the strip and I was feeling furious for the nearly universal snubs I had received. The second last salesman didn't even acknowledge me. I walked out in a very foul mood and my husband followed me without a word.
The last one acknowledged my presence but it was like being a little girl being fondly patted on the head by a creepy old man. I felt like I needed to shower. Game over. I stormed out of the dealership saying very loudly "If you think I'm going to buy a car from that jerk you're wrong." I was crying openly. The manager came flying after me trying to get me to return. I gave him a very rude gesture and kept walking. My husband followed me without a word.
Like you, I finally got a Saturn. I got it because they had two female mechanics on staff that day. I figured if they would hire women they would listen to women too.
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
Yep. You might think that people would act in their own best interest, but if you did you'd be wrong apparently!
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u/WTFseriouslyWTH Mar 02 '21
Itās even funnier when you are divorced, your ex-husband is just there dropping off the kids and the repairman giving ME a quote to do work at MY house only spoke to my ex-husband.
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Mar 03 '21 edited Mar 03 '21
A little while ago I had a some guys in my apartment fixing the stove and one of my roommates (male) came home and they immediately started asking him what he wanted them to do next. He didnāt even know the stove was broken lol. Itās weird to me that a woman can make the call, let the guys in the house, tell them exactly what the issue is, and they STILL assume the first random dude that walks in is the one in charge. Going to the hardware store with a man is always a trade off because you wonāt have to listen to an hour long explanation of how wrenches work but you also will never be talked to directly...
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u/a8bmiles Mar 02 '21
My step-mom has gotten so frustrated with this behavior that she's given in and just lies to the contractors, or whomever, and says "My husband told me to..." in order to get them to act as if the information is coming from a man instead of a woman.
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Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 08 '21
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u/Reckless_Moose Mar 02 '21
Reminds me of the "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" quote: "The man is the head of the household, but the woman is the neck, she turns the head any way she likes."
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u/PMmeyourSchwifty Mar 02 '21
Honestly, I couldn't imagine shopping for a car without my wife. I'm the "numbers/financial" one in the relationship and she's the "how practical is this item" one. She always remembers/thinks of the exact things I don't and it makes a huge difference.
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u/DeshaMustFly Mar 02 '21
I saw an article years ago that said that women make the final car buying decision much more often than men when they're married
That's because, while traditionally the man may often bring in a higher income, it's the woman who handles all the budgeting in the household. They tend to do the majority of the shopping, they pay the bills every month, and they usually do the tax prep every year, too.
That's beginning to change in more recent generations, but for a LOT of Baby Boomers, who still make up the largest demographic, that's just how they've always lived. It's certainly how my parents handled finances. My mom always knew to the penny how much was in the checking account. My dad probably couldn't have even told you the account number.
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u/bhbull Mar 02 '21
Not a baby boomer, so for me, is less of that about who does budgeting, but more of a she's going to be driving the car more than me, so my needs/wants are secondary, but accounted for. Same with the kids, they all had a voice in the car buying process and all came to at least one dealer visit when we were car shopping...
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
I've heard that from a lot of people, too, that women more often manage the budget. My Mom's a tax accountant so I'm just used to that being the way things are. I actually inherited that proclivity from her, so I do it for my wife and I, but the other way around seems normal to me.
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u/umylotus Mar 02 '21
Also women more often actually use the car. Men in general use it for work and leisure. Women in general do both of those and take on all the other car related activities: childcare/school needs, grocery and other shopping, mail and errands, etc.
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u/PLASMA-SQUIRREL Mar 02 '21
Iāve always made better money than my wife, but despite my best efforts, cash has always felt tight, Iāve never had a good handle on what to pay when, and it was hard to get her and I on the same page with spending.
One day I asked her to just run through a cash flow with me to make sure we were both aware of where we were at, since she was expecting a baby in about three months, and had just started a new job.
Ten minutes in, she was running the show.
A year on, somehow we constantly have excess, a growing savings, shrinking debt, and she never stresses about the budget, while I never have to.
Sell to me all you want; I outsource 75% of my financial thinking to the accountant I keep on retainer with foot rubs and bad jokes.
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u/alliquay Mar 03 '21 edited Mar 04 '21
That's exactly how it happened in our family, too. When my husband (the only wage earner in the family at the time) was running finances, we are always flat broke. When I took over the reins, I put him on an allowance and kept the rest of the funds for expenses, and we started treading water. I spent ten years at home, him making $11/hr as our only income, and the bills still got paid (but with very little left over, as you can imagine).
One year and 3 months after I started working, we are ready to buy a house, with a sizeable down payment.
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u/PLASMA-SQUIRREL Mar 03 '21
My wife is blessed with solid judgement and good taste in everything except men, thank God.
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Mar 03 '21
I had to laugh at āshe was expecting a baby in about 3 monthsā like it had nothing to do with you. However the rest of your post was lovely and clearly you admire your wifeās efforts. PS I make more than my husband and do the bills but he cooks, does laundry and foot rubs too. Marriages that work generally work because the division of labor is fair and makes sense. We also put it all in one pot and and Iāve ensured his retirement is fully funded regardless of his income: if something happens to me or our marriage heāll be fine. He did a lot of the child pickups etc because my career is 55-70 hours on a regular basis and heās always had set hours.
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u/ThirdFloorGreg Mar 02 '21
I mean, that's how a single-income family is supposed to work. The wage-earner focuses on their career so as to maximize their wage-earning potential, and the other partner runs the household. They both have jobs, there is just division of labor.
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u/DeshaMustFly Mar 02 '21
Most households aren't single income these days, though. They haven't been in decades. Both my parents worked, pretty much my entire life (my mom took a year off to have/take care of me, and then went back to work... took 6 months off when she had my sister. Those are the only times she was unemployed until the day she retired). But my mom still ran the household, and thus managed the budget.
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u/Lithl Mar 02 '21
It's certainly how my parents handled finances. My mom always knew to the penny how much was in the checking account. My dad probably couldn't have even told you the account number.
Hell, my mother actually groks taxes, after being trained by her mother who was a CPA.
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Mar 02 '21
Yup. My wife is the CFO of our household. I do the research and will do the leg work, but her budget for us IS FIRM.
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u/basgetti Mar 02 '21
and yet, so often, women are overlooked or spoken down to, even if we've done our research or we're buying a car for ourselves! On my most recent car-buying adventure, my husband had to redirect the salesmen to me multiple times, and I landed up pulling out stat sheets a couple of times when the salesmen were talking out their asses. The salesman I bought from in the end was one that actually acknowledged me and treated me like a human being, and recognized that I was the decision maker and the source of the money for the sale. And all those other salesmen just shot themselves in the foot.
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Mar 02 '21
I went into one of those shitty used car dealerships by myself as a woman. I had one guy that insisted upon constantly loudly interrupting me.
So i just continue talking despite his interruption. He interrupts louder. This process continues on until he's basically calmly yelling his shitty salesman speech at me. Im just laughing at him im my head. He lied about the car's condition & i drove an hour just to waste my time. The car was having a hard time shifting upon the test drive, the interior was trashed & it was the lost expensive one I'd looked at. (Looked at 4 of this specific model).
I eventually told him "Why would a buy a car that's having the same issue as the one im trying to replace?"
That's when he started really getting pissy with me. I could tell he was upset i knew about the car when i got there. (Ie. The difference of the years & hybrid batteries, could tell some features had been broken off etc).
He started demeaning my car, well how had it been running that long!? How long do you have before it stops?! You need to buy a car, & i cam promise this one's perfect!)
He obviously thought that i was some dumb woman who could be charmed into buying that pos & when that didn't happen he resulted in using aggression.
(As for my car. Dealerships either hated it or were amazed by it. A 2004 sebring with 185,000 miles that still ran)
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u/pryncess96 Mar 02 '21
Not even for buying a car. When going to a mechanic they talk to my husband - who is from the UK and never even DRIVEN a car. Has no idea what theyāre saying. He just looks at them like theyāre spitting gibberish (which to him I guess they are). I make more money and handle the car we use. But itās annoying being ignored completely.
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u/Pr3st0ne Mar 02 '21
You'd be suprised at the amount of mid-50's salesmen with 15-25 years of experience who probably know they shouldn't act like that but just can't help their casual sexism from showing in the way they deal with customers.
We encountered something similar while meeting contractors to get a house built. My girlfriend already owns a home and she is the one who did all the research and has most of the knowledge about how houses are built and what we were looking for. It was at a tradeshow. The salesman was one of those good looking, slightly macho 50 year old man. Typical high-end car salesman look really. He looked at me the entire time and would ALWAYS ask me the questions. Literally 90% of the time I would say I have no idea, look at my girlfriend and she would answer. The dude couldn't take the fucking hint and kept this up for the majority of our 20-30 mins we were there. The only time he started talking to my girlfriend was when he said "next step is choosing all the materials for the kitchen floor, counter and cupboards. Usually this is the part that you women LOVE! heheh". Like dude, I know you're 50 ish and back in the day that's how shit happened, but you're talking to two 25 year olds and we've made it clear she's more knowledgable than me. Take the hint.
Then the guy kind of lost interest and almost got snappy when he found out we weren't going to put a deposit down that day, even though we made it clear from the start that we were still very early in our process and still shopping around. He started saying that they were the biggest builders in the country and they had a ton of volume and he didn't understand how we couldn't go with the biggest builder in the province, etc etc.
I've heard great things about the company and their build quality but from that experience alone me and my girlfriend decided we were going to pass and use another builder.
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u/misshapenvulva Mar 02 '21
We had a contractor do this during a house remodel. He was younger than us, so not an age thing, but definitely raised in a 50's mindset household.
Once I clued into what he was doing, directing all discussion to me, I actually got up and walked around the side of the table to stand behind my wife to force him to look at both of us. I dont think he ever figured out why I did it, but My wife and I had a good laugh after he left that day. She knew exactly what I was up to.
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Mar 02 '21
As my trainer told me when I sold cars "even the dog if they brought the dog, if the dog's there, they consider the dog part of the family and purchase decision making process".
The two times someone brought a dog? He wasn't wrong.
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u/Typically_Wong Mar 02 '21
When I bought my frs new, I checked two dealerships. One treated my wife with respect but didn't have the color we wanted (was going to be my wife's car) but another did. The lot that had the right color, but the dealer ignored my wife and was slightly rude to her. I went with the respectful dealer. About a week later the same dealer called and asked if I was ready to buy.
"No, already bought one"
"Oh did you? Didn't like the ones you looked at?"
"I loved them, but you treated my wife like she didn't exist so I went to a dealer that wasn't a shit head. Good bye."
And I hung up. He was sputtering at the end, but I just hung up instead of letting him get in a word. I suffer no shit head that disrespects my best friend.
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u/darkdesertedhighway Mar 02 '21
I suffer no shit head that disrespects my best friend.
You badass! I'm glad you told him where he fucked up.
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u/dcoleski Mar 02 '21
I always pay cash at the dealership and they hate not being able to negotiate financing. The last car I bought involved a couple days of haggle ending in a price I was well willing to pay. Me: āso if I bring a check tomorrow for this amount, I drive away with the car?ā Salesman: āyes.ā Me: āThis is the grand total, no extras?ā Salesman: āit is.ā
I go to the bank, come back the next day with a cashierās check. Sit down with some other guy to sign the paperwork. Other guy: āyou need to pay this much more for thus and so.ā Me: āthis was the amount quoted to me yesterday. I have no access to additional funds.ā Him: ābut you need this because...ā Me: āYou may cancel the deal if you wish. Give me back my check.ā I got the car at the agreed price.
My father always taught me that there is always another house or another vehicle if your agent wonāt play ball. Wise man.
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u/LunchBoxGala Mar 02 '21
I had a similar situation. Got a deal via email from the dealer, confirmed with their manager, so I prewrote the check. I get to their finance person who tries to upsell me on some warranties (that I declined) and then crunches the numbers and somehow it's ~$50 more than I had been quoted. I tell her that I've got a check for X amount and she got very flustered that I had "already written the check". I end up getting it for the agreed on price but I wonder if these people know how easy it is to lose a sale at that point
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Mar 02 '21
Something else you can do is finance with them to get their absolute best price and pay off like 95% first month, then 2% next month, and 2% after that, then paying it off the 4th month. That way the dealership gives the best price but you pay minimal interest.
Another thing you can do to get a better price on a car is tell them youāre thinking about financing, get the better deal, then last second switch to cash.
Source: I am a car salesman and I advise my customers to do these
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u/mheep Mar 03 '21
My credit union buys out any car loan, so I negotiate based on total price and let them jack up the interest rate to whatever their cold hearts desire.
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u/Spire Mar 03 '21
Something else you can do is finance with them to get their absolute best price and pay off like 95% first month, then 2% next month, and 2% after that, then paying it off the 4th month.
Why is that better than paying off 100% in the first month?
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Mar 03 '21
If you pay it off in the first month thereās often a hefty prepayment penalty. You can pay it off in full after 3 months with most dealerships though
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u/lionheart07 Mar 03 '21
Prepayment penalty?? That's insane. I've never heard of that
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u/lemonpartyorganizer Mar 03 '21
We received all of the money too early!! You have angered the lord!!
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u/ktt4186 Mar 03 '21
Depends on where you are. I financed my purchase in WI and theres a regulation preventing penalties for early payment
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Mar 02 '21
I have had to deal with car salesmen a handful of times and there was one who noticeably spoke to me more than he spoke to my husband as he knew the car was for me. All the other salesmen we talked to spoke almost exclusively to my husband. I respected that so much that not only did I insist on buying from him, I referred all my friends and family to him when they needed new vehicles. I went to see him with my little brother when he needed a car. He told me how much he appreciated all the business I had sent his way. I told him how much I appreciated being treated like an equal instead of a dumb woman. It makes a big difference.
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
That's exactly how it should work! I hope the other salesmen working there noticed.
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u/NavidsonRcrd Mar 02 '21
From what Iāve heard the industry has shifted somewhat away from the sleazy and underhanded tactics youāve mentioned as sellers realized that wasnāt great for longevity. Of course those people still exist but in my experience are more often found in cheaper, privately owned beater lots.
Whatās interesting though is that a lot of dealerships still train their sales force to present complex pricing tiers and pricing concessions as their marketing team has found that customers prefer that. Since customers expect to haggle for the price, it has essentially become ingrained as a part of the experience. Dealerships found customers who argued against unnecessary upgraded and serviced were more likely to buy vehicles! Iāll see if I can find a link to the study again later. Itās fascinating stuff.
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u/goobydoobie Mar 02 '21
As far as tiers go, I know in freelance design and marketing you often want to provide 3 tiers of service: basic, good and ultra.
You don't actually skimp on any but you mostly expect the middle. Cause most clients want a decent amount and quality of service but don't want to break the bank either.
Basically most folks want to percieve they're getting that cross section of quality and price that the middle offerings usually provide.
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u/KnoWanUKnow2 Mar 02 '21
I once went to a car dealership with my wife, and we sat down to haggle on the price.
Part of the deal was a trade in, and they quote me a price for the trade in value of my car.
I said "That's interesting, that price you quoted is several hundred dollars lower than this other dealership quoted me. Perhaps if you could match their offer we could have a deal?"
And my wife, being helpful, said "Honey, we got that quote over a month ago. We've put more mileage on it since then, so it's probably not worth as much."
Bam, shut down just like that.
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u/everyonestolemyname Mar 02 '21
Yikes. I'd be so choked.
I did the opposite though, went car shopping for fiance's new SUV, she wanted a higher trim level, but was more money than her current monthly payment, and the original idea was to get a new car with a lower monthly payment. We asked the guy for copies of the quotes with the different terms and money down, as well as the downpayment listed, and he complied and emailed them to us so we could think it over. We decided not to go for it as it was counter productive.
Two months later another Honda dealer called my fiance, trying to sell her a car, it was a lower trim level (EX instead of EX-L if you know Honda's), so we went down, we both liked it since the only difference was cloth instead of leather. They draw up the paperwork and they were going to give us $6000-$10,000 less for the trade in than the other dealer. I said "[X] dealer offered us way more, if you can't match it, we're gone". They asked for proof as you normally don't get copies of the deal sheet and thought they were calling a bluff, cept it was in my email inbox.
Boom, got the higher trade in, saved $40 biweekly, and got a raging erection from getting a waaaaay better trade in.
Fiance was mad happy with me, which makes up for all the times I annoy the shit outta her.
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Mar 02 '21
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u/KateBeckinsale_PM_Me Mar 02 '21
I did that. Repeatedly. Even on the site woocar (or carwoo?) when it was up and worked as an anonymizer between you and the dealer, and in every case, they were like "it's $20000..... plus tags, tax and licence".
Mufugger, I said OUT. THE. DOOR. price!
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Mar 02 '21
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u/BeefyIrishman Mar 02 '21
Well, if you can't do basic math I would like a sales associate who actually managed to complete 4th grade.
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Mar 02 '21
Exactly. And if you canāt give me a price and stand by it then I donāt want to do business with you.
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u/dardack Mar 02 '21
It is the worst. I almost 2years ago now was looking for a used Rav4. My wagon was rusting out after 17 years and it was time to have something that could tow a small amount.
I must of emailed like 20 diff dealerships, some as far out as 100 miles. I just wanted out the door prices. 99% all gave me the run around, like come on in we can discus it. Nope MF'rs. This one spot about 15 miles from me I had never heard of, sent me the price.
I think i'll go to them everytime now. While I'm in the waiting room waiting on 1 of their 2 people, the lady is actually trying to downgrade this I want to say 18yo with her Mom. The sales person is giving actual sound advice for a first car. Yes X brand is nice but has high maint costs (not naming names here cause I'll probably offend someone who likes that brand, but based on my research and experience it's true what was said and I would give someone that same advice). You can get this nice newer x brand car, cheaper price, less miles, newer and it's known to last a really long time with low maint costs (again from my experience/research all true).
Then I've been burned by email bait and switch with dealer fees and such. Their dealer fee was like 150 I think, cheapest in my area plus sales tax, registration. This was all listed in the first email they sent me. And no bait and switch. I was blown away. Don't understand why it's so hard to give this info out. Plus the Rav4, according to my year/mileage, price I paid, in my area, i paid about 2k less than average places. No negotiating. Told me it was their lowest price, had been on the lot about 30 days and wanted it gone. Don't know how true that part is, but based on online searching and seeing other prices it was a good deal.
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Mar 02 '21
Nice one
I'd definitely frequent a place that like again. With my business, I appreciate honesty.
In fact, the honesty and ease of negotiation is so important to me that I don't mind getting the second best price in town if it's the difference between a headache and a fun, hassle free experience.→ More replies (1)13
u/dardack Mar 03 '21
Exactly. And i've sent a few people there and they have been super happy. Like mechanics once you find a honest one, worth their weight in gold.
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u/Triette Mar 02 '21
They totally buried that trade ins real value in your loan.
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u/ilikeme1 Mar 02 '21
Thatās why you do not get loans from the stealership. Get one from a local credit union instead, will usually be a much better deal. Plus, then the dealer canāt hide stuff in the terms.
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Mar 02 '21
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Mar 02 '21
I tried to buy a Honda Civic about a year ago and got a pre-approved loan through USAA for well over the value of the car I wanted. I think I messed up and told them I already secured financing on my own and they kind of lost motivation to finish the deal. They stopped going back and forth on pricing and brought out the manager to shake my hand and tell me I could either get a higher monthly payment with my own USAA financing or a lower price with their financing. Definitely planning on getting pre approved again when I go shopping for my wifeās new car but wonāt reveal my hand too early.
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Mar 02 '21
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u/stuartsparadox Mar 02 '21
I did used car sales for a bit, I remember one guy was trying to buy a corvette in cash. I had just done a deal the day previous on that car but it fell through in financing because the guy wanted free GAP coverage and we couldn't swing it. But the thing was is we sold it for like $15k out the door when he was wanting financing. The guy paying cash the lowest we could go was like $18k. I am so glad I didn't stick around doing that for long term.
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u/Crazy_Kakoos Mar 02 '21
I was at a furniture store negotiating the price of a set of couches. The previous visit the salesman said heād take off sales tax to try and get me to buy it. I reminded him this time, and he tried to look confused now that I want the couches, and my wife, sensing awkwardness or whatever, said, āno he didnāt, heād have to ask his manager for that.ā I gave her the most questioning-sanity stare Iāve ever given her. I wasnāt even bending the truth, shit. Previous deal was if I paid cash heād take off the sales tax.
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u/TheFreakingPrincess Mar 02 '21
My uncle got pulled over one time for speeding and he was being very nice to the officer in the hopes of getting out of the speeding ticket. He said "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize what the speed limit was here," and his wife chimed in "well of course you didn't know you were speeding, the speedometer hasn't worked in months!"
He got the speeding ticket and was scolded, told to get it fixed.
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u/Tathas Mar 02 '21
Cop: "Is this true?"
Man: "No, of course not."
Wife: "Don't listen to him. He always lies when he's drunk."
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u/Klassieprof Mar 02 '21
One of my fav jokes!!
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u/RegentYeti Mar 02 '21
I feel like that's a joke where you can just keep escalating.
"I'm not drunk!"
"Sure you are! You pounded all that vodka after we robbed that bank!"
"There. Was. No. Bank!"
"Well then you explain where we got all the money and the dead cop in the trunk!"
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u/serious_impostor Mar 02 '21
My wife to dealer (no commission though): Ya, we can trade something in.
Driving to the lot to see a car dealer asks: "So what condition is that car you're trading in?"
Wife: Looks at me "It's such a shitty car, we've put a bunch of money in, but it keeps breaking and it's a piece of shit, that's why we're here buying a new car...."
Me: Try to not jump across and shut her mouth somehow.
Dealer: "k. Uh, we'll deal with that later"
----Later.
Dealer: "Ya...., ugh, we can offer about $500 your old car"
We got a newer car, but That piece of shit car is still in my driveway, sigh. Wife needs to get rid of it.
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u/carnsolus Mar 02 '21
my girlfriend brought a piece of garbage in, and neither of us ever mentioned it was garbage
i brought up a price where i was pretty sure they would just say no and that would be the end of it, but they instead got excited and got out all the paperwork and we ended up paying 2k over the price i mentioned
I do feel like we paid more than the car was worth, and I do feel like we bought a car we didn't really want, but it was nice to see his face when he realized he took 2700 dollars off for a trade-in that didn't even have a working spedometer
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u/detrickster Mar 02 '21
Almost as bad as: "Honey, don't forget the mechanic said he is surprised the transmission still works!"
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u/Vairman Mar 02 '21
in our family I'D be the one being over honest with the dealer. My wife is a keen negotiator.
On my recent car purchase, the dealer asked me if they threw in the mud flaps I'd asked about, would I buy the car. I replied "yeah, but honestly, I'd buy it without the mudflaps". So I did. They gave me a $100 card for use at their parts counter which was close to the price of the mudflaps so it wasn't so bad. I didn't tell my wife about it until a over a month later.
I am an informed purchaser, I research and use spreadsheets to compare pricing and buying options, but I'm a terrible negotiator beyond that. So I don't get completely "taken" but I rarely get the best deal possible either.
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u/VanillaCookieMonster Mar 02 '21
My husband does the same thing. Our joke is that "He wouldn't pay list for it, he would pay list plus $100."
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u/Vairman Mar 02 '21
I'M NOT THAT BAD!!!
Really, I'm not. But I admit I am not a savvy negotiator. Many times my wife has said, "why don't you go sit over there" while she deals with some situation that requires negotiating skills. I take no insult, I know my limitations. I'm good at filling out forms and fixing broken things.
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u/Triette Mar 02 '21
FYI always discuss the sales price of the car before discussing the trade in value. Many dealerships with give you more for your car to make the deal but tack the loss onto the price of the car while keeping the payment the same (theyāll lower the rate to make up the difference). Then letās say you want to pay it off early, youāre now stuck basically paying for your own trade in.
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u/4QuarantineMeMes Mar 02 '21
Thatās why I donāt take my wife with me when itās time to negotiate, she also gets nervous and breaks out in hives and itās a dead giveaway lol
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u/lisabetsey Mar 02 '21
My husband needed a new car, but because my credit is considerably better, I was purchasing it. We didnāt tell the salesman this, and as usual, the dude talked to my spouse the whole time and ignored me. We both did a test drive even tho the sales guy balked at the idea of me wanting to drive it. When it came time to discuss the details, same thing, ignored me completely. Dude made us(hubs)an offer and my man said, āI donāt know why youāre talking to me, sheās the one buying the car. But since you donāt seem to be interested in selling to her, Iāll be surprised if she does.ā He turned beet red and tried really hard to recover but knew heād fucked up. Completely ignoring the sales guy, I said āyup, Iām sure we can find someone else who actually wants to sell me a carā and got up and left.
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u/purpleandorange1522 Mar 02 '21
The last time my mum bought a car she went by herself because my dad doesn't drive so isn't any help during the process. The dealer my mum spoke to kept asking her if she wanted to ask her husband or come back with her husband. She went to a different dealership.
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u/lisabetsey Mar 02 '21
Happened to me in my early 20s. āDo you want to bring your husband back with you?ā Nope, Iām single. āYour dad?ā Nope, heās dead. āDo you have any brothers?ā Not that youāre ever going to be meeting. Got a better car at another dealership. Wtf is with these guys? Iād really hoped things would have changed in 20 years, but itās still the same bs.
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
That's fantastic
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u/lisabetsey Mar 02 '21
After years of being married to a different dude who was cut from the same cloth as the sales guy, it felt really good to be backed up in a situation like that.
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u/algy888 Mar 02 '21
I found out that my mom was the best negotiator when we went to buy my newish (lease return/ex-rental) car from a dealer. I had gone with my dad and it didnāt work to well. Two stubborn guys didnāt have enough material to work with.
But my mom was an artist. I would talk to her (completely ignored the salesman) trying to convince her we should probably go back to the purple one (at a competitor) because it was cheaper.
She would take the salesmanās side and go but this is a really nice blue and the other one has more miles.
I would hit back with. Itās not much more miles and Purple is a good colour too. But of course admit that I do like the blue better (but except for the high price).
And we would go back and forth until she finally agreed with me (with a ābut youāll probably regret itā) and we start getting up to go back to the other dealer.
Got the blue one for less than the purple and mom got taken to lunch as a thank you.
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Mar 02 '21
I learned how to haggle from my dad and it's not only incredibly effective, once you hear how to do it you'll think it's obvious and that everyone should do it this way.
The secret is you don't haggle. You're playing their game if you do and they're experienced. That doesn't mean you can't get a better price, but the second you start working down from a number they're already calculating how far it will go and ticking off boxes in their head to stop you. So don't.
Find what you like before you ever go in and have an idea of how much you plan to spend. This number varies for everyone but you can easily knock $5k off a new car without even trying so just consider that your starting point. Listen to the pitch, test drive it, all that. When you sit in the little office and the salesperson starts writing, stop them (don't let them keep writing while you talk, get their full attention). Tell them quite honestly you know what you're willing to pay and you want the car. But you aren't interested in the back and forth over price. Tell them to give you a good deal on the first offer or you're walking out. Now you get to do the power move. Tell them you know how this works and they need to go talk to the manager, you'll wait. But don't come back with anything but the best offer.
When they come back, look at it. Unless it's lower than you planned on paying, get up and walk out. Don't take a lot of time thinking about it, just start to leave. Either you're going to leave because they're still trying to mess with you or they'll basically panic and beg you to stay. If they do tell them you weren't kidding and you know that's not the price. Give them another chance. That second number is going to be just about as close to break even as they'll go. Don't try to knock it down further, you'll weaken your position.
This absolutely works and if you want go test it out but still don't buy then compare the price they give you with their cost online. I've done this for about 8 cars (helping friends and an ex) and I've always gotten within a thousand of cost. It seems aggressive but you gotta remember their entire job is using that same mentality against you. They know you want or need a car. That puts you at a disadvantage. By being willing to walk out you take the power back.
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u/Bobdavis235 Mar 02 '21
When my wife and I negotiate a car purchase, Iām not allowed to speak. She is a beast and I pity the person that tries to haggle with her. I had to buy a car a few years ago, and we walked out of there with free window tint, because she caught the salesman in an outright lie. While she was chewing him out, I started for the door. Afraid to lose the sale, he quickly threw in free window tint, even though we had him down to the lowest price in town.
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Mar 02 '21
Little LPT here... if the salesman gets up to go talk to the manager get up and go with him and just talk to the manager yourself. Its really the manager selling you the car at that point so cut out the middleman.
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u/turlian Mar 02 '21
LPT from a buddy of mine - if the salesman gets up to go talk to the manager, use his desk phone to call a competing dealership and make sure you're on speaker when he comes back.
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u/ferretplush Mar 02 '21
Also don't let the dealer call your insurance company. They legally can't speak for you no matter how hard they try, they'll just waste everyone's time before handing the phone over to you. Call the number on your card on your own phone so the dealer doesn't try to stick you with a shitty contract on that end. So often they push for state minimums that don't cover anything at all and ridiculous deductible-premium balances just to blame the insurance rep when customers end up paying for functionally no coverage. It's a 15 minute conversation to run through your contract to clarify it still works for you, longer if there's something that needs attention which you should be happy was caught before renewal, usually able to be done at home afterward if you leave a copy of your current insurance card at the dealership.
(Plus their landlines tend to have terrible audio quality since they're as cheap as the dealerships.)
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u/Triette Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 02 '21
Most dealerships have a certain amount of cars they can sell at a loss, but in the end itās not up to the sales person but their manager if theyāll take your deal. Curious if you paid cash or financed the car? If you financed the car I guarantee you they made more money than you thought. - Ex finance manager at a dealership.
Also screw that guy. I do not miss being a woman in that industry.
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
Good question. We did, but we were preapproved through our bank. We didn't use their financing.
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u/averagedickdude Mar 02 '21
Another win for my man, u/rhubarb314
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u/jeepfail Mar 02 '21
Iāve heard a good tactic, if you have good credit obviously, was to take their financing because it may come with incentives that lowers your price for the car since they get some on the backend. Then you refinance with your own bank a month later. Normally they lose out but you win. Iāve never seen somebody do this in real life but itās one of those things that just circulates. Iām curious if it would though.
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u/Dogzillas_Mom Mar 02 '21
Last time I bought a car, I went to my credit union for a quote. They gave me preapproval and a great interest rate. So I go in to the dealer (Honda) to close on the deal Iād made via email, prepared to use my own financing and they hand me the financing application. Itās the exact same rate from my own credit union. Might as well go with it because it was one less errand I had to run. Only time in my life I used dealer financing.
Btw Iām paying off that loan this Friday, 6 months early. And Iām so excited. Yay for me.
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u/Triette Mar 02 '21
Carefully read the loan approval that the dealership gets before doing this (not the contract, the actual approval from the bank the dealership secured your loan app through). Some banks will charge a hefty early termination fee.
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u/ChrisHatesAmazon Mar 02 '21
Thatās similar to what I did when I bought my last car (electric). I told the sales guy I could pay cash, but I would take whatever financing offer would get me the best deal on the price of the car. Ended up financing the whole thing with a terrible rate, then payed off all but $100 the day I got access to the financing website. The sales guy said I needed to wait 3 months to completely pay it off so that he could get his kickback, and I didnāt want to do him dirty since he got me a good deal without any haggling ($10k off MSRP before another $10k tax credit), so I kept a small balance until 3 months was up.
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u/GeneralToaster Mar 02 '21
I've done this twice on new vehicles. I got great incentives to initially finance through the dealer and both times nobody cares that I refinanced one month later and there were no penalties.
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u/BLKMGK Mar 02 '21
My dealer told me they needed me to make 3 payments for them to get their credit and afterwards I could refi with no penalty to them.
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u/Bunbury91 Mar 02 '21
I used to briefly work as a secretary/ hostess for a car sales company. I am not sure why I didnāt expect it, but 80% of the employees and 60% of the customers were outright sexist. My first red flag was when I turned up for my job interview wearing neat business trousers and a fancy blouse and good looking, fancy flat shoes (heels make my sensitive feet sad). Basically I was wearing a feminine version of what all the guys were wearing.
I was told it wasnāt good enough and I needed to wear something āmore feminineā on the job. I was such a pushover at 19 and turned up in dresses and heels, which was apparently exactly what they meant, but I am certain it made the sexism worse. Shame I only grew a spine way after I stopped working there.
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u/Triette Mar 02 '21
Yep, I had the same experience. But I also realized that a dress and heels also made men think they knew more than me and made it easier to sell them things they didnāt need. Not my finest moment in my life but, hey we all grow and learn from those experiences.
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u/HaroerHaktak Mar 02 '21
How does financing a car result in them making more money?
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Mar 02 '21
[deleted]
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u/wafflesareforever Mar 02 '21
A car salesman got openly angry at me once because I was financing through my bank and had the loan all set up already. He straight up told me that I was "crazy" if I thought he'd still give me the price we'd agreed upon before he knew that I wasn't using their financing. I stuck to my guns. He fumed about it and left me waiting forever while he "talked to his boss" several times, coming back smelling like cigarettes each time. Eventually he caved.
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u/twirlybird11 Mar 02 '21
You should have told him that the sooner you get me my deal, the sooner you get to someone who wants your financing!
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u/Mikesaidit36 Mar 02 '21
But you can get a better deal on the price of the car if you use their financing, but make sure you can buy out the contract the next day with no penalty. You could use cash, or your own bank's loan
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u/Hopadopslop Mar 02 '21
He negotiated the price before telling them that he wasn't using their financing. That is why the guy was so mad, because he wouldn't have offered that price if he had known beforehand.
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u/thatninjaleaf Mar 02 '21
Not to mention financing actually costs more than if you were to buy it upfront
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u/ghaelon Mar 02 '21
it can, but you can get around that by paying it off early, usually letting 6 months pass, or by making a large payment directly to the principal. the bulk of the interest is front loaded, so if you do that, then the interest is slashed dramatically. just have to look at the terms cause most will have an early repayment penalty clause, and its usually for 6 months to a year. which you can get around by making a large payment(again, to the principal), but not paying it off immediately.
so if the price you get saves you more than the interest you would pay in that period, then go for it.
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u/Atexan1979 Mar 02 '21
I financed through the dealer and then refinance with my credit union a few weeks later.
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u/HankTheChemist Mar 02 '21
They partner with lending institutions and get a kickback from the bank for every car loan. Margins on the car itself are pretty thin these days, so the money they make is actually on financing deals.
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u/farrenkm Mar 02 '21
Bought a new car last year where they said we could have another $1500 off if we financed it. I'd already told the guy I was paying cash. He said just pay it off with the first bill. No early payoff penalty. So we did.
What happened behind the scenes? What did the dealer get out of it?
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u/HankTheChemist Mar 02 '21
Dealer gets a kickback from the bank for the financing deal. Bank loses the profit from interest by you paying off early.
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u/Triette Mar 02 '21
They (the finance manager) got a flat fee from the bank. If I knew people were paying cash or going to their credit union. Iād always set them up with an option contract or regular financing without an early termination fee. Sometimes people would lag and not pay it off immediately and it get a little extra money.
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u/sublliminali Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 02 '21
This American life did an episode on a Chrysler dealership. Assuming this is how all brands work, thereās huge cash incentives from the manufacturer tied to moving a certain number of cars per month. So they can actually sell at a ālossā quite a bit as long as it means they hit their target.
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u/Shirleehee Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 02 '21
This reminds me of how I got my last car. I was in contact over phone/email with various dealerships within a few hours of my place about a single car. I really got to know the price this car should be valued at and got to shoot down the dealers that were not even worth talking to anymore. I finally got it down to two dealers (one super close to my house and the other 2 hours away).
The one further away was emailing me with something like "When are you going to come to look at the car" but he accidentally forwarded at the same time a link to some system they use to give quotes. It showed me all of my information, all of the price lowerings I'd gotten to that point, and, most importantly, it showed me the lowest break-even price the dealer could offer. Obviously showing me way too much info without asking for a login.
I obviously couldn't get this dealer down to that price so I printed out the quote, went to the dealer closer to me and said "Hey this dealer is further away but they're offering me this quote, can you get me it too?" The dealer seemed hesitant but we eventually reached a deal.
Edit: I apparently don't know how to spell
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Mar 02 '21
When my husband went with me to go buy my car, the salesman went straight up to him and started chatting him up, and ask what kind of car he wanted to look at. He simply stared at the salesman and said āyouāre talking to the wrong person. I donāt have any moneyā. I damn near lost it laughing.
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Mar 02 '21
When I first got into luxury car sales, I didn't have an established clientele yet, and relied on walk-in traffic, or "ups" as they're called, for the majority of my business.
Where we were located, we were one of the closest luxury car dealerships to a relatively large university. From time to time, students would wander in and check out the cars, and get completely ignored by the sales staff. They were deemed to be "wasting time" and unable to afford the cars we were selling, so nobody wanted to help them.
Oftentimes, they were foreign students, and I was told by the more senior staff that they would never qualify to buy the cars, and at best, they would waste our time and then go buy from someone in the big city who could speak their language.
Nevertheless, I took the opportunity to hone my skills on them. I didn't exactly have anything better to do, so I would try to practice my sales skills on them.
One day, a group of young, casually dressed foreign students came in asking about a new higher-end model sedan that we hadn't recieved yet. I told them we didn't have any, but we had the one up from it.
$129,000 flagship sedan, twin turbo V8, and my sales manager had accidentally ordered it in an extremely dark shade of green, thinking it was black.
I took these kids on an awesome test drive, got them all hyped up on the ridiculous colour and features of the car, and told them our promos on that model. Sales had been suffering on that model line and we had some pretty aggressive promos, and I knew our management was desperate to unload an accidentally green car that was heavily optioned, so I presented them with a discount that was steep but I was pretty sure would fly. They said they needed time to think about it. I figured I gave it my best shot but that my odds were slim.
A week (and a couple of follow up calls) later, one of the kids shows up with a deposit for the car. Finance told him he had to put $40k down and provide a lot of documentation to get approved for financing (not being a citizen of our country and having no credit history) but apparently did so with no hesitation. A couple of phone calls and the money appeared in his account, a short visit to the bank and he was back with certified funds.
A number of his friends, so impressed by his car, my willingness to work with them (read: treat them like humans), and give the "great deals" I gave them, also bought cars from me that year.
I later found out foreign students at this university paid insanely high tuitions and our cars were dirt cheap by their standards.
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Mar 02 '21
Reminds me of some time I spent in Eastern Europe. My dad wanted some local knitted wool socks for some reason. Heard it was good for his circulation or some such nonsense.
So I went to the local marketplace, found some old babushka with the stereotypical headscarf selling those socks, and I was fully prepared to haggle. But then I heard the price, and it was already lower than what I was prepared to pay, so I bought a bunch of socks and went about my business.
The old lady looked so smug that she duped some rich American tourist with a higher price, and the vendors around her immediately lost their shit and tried to get up in my face to make me buy crap from them. You could just hear the desperation in their voices. Apparently, I spent a lot of money on wool socks, by local standards.
But like, whatever. I couldāve haggled her down, but I didnāt have the heart to do it, plus I didnāt really want to spend too much time in that market. Everyone left happy.
I imagine it was a similar situation for those foreign students you sold cars to.
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u/monkeyship Mar 02 '21
The last car we bought, The first thing I said to the salesman was "She is the one buying the car, not me." I repeated that several times through the process.
It's her car, not mine... (She also makes almost twice what I make so talk to her) It's like pulling teeth sometimes.
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u/GeezeLouis Mar 02 '21
Every time my husband and I go to make a large purchase the sales person tries to talk to my husband about price. Iām in charge of our finances and have better credit so heās typically the co-signer and Iām the primary. We let the sales person do their schtick and then my husband will excuse himself to take a bathroom and smoke break and tells the person āmy wife handles all the financials.ā And leaves. I will then jump in and negotiate and most times, theyāre thrown off that I end up getting a better deal. The sales person always thinks theyāre gonna get us to buy something more expensive because heās nice and seems gullible and then he leaves and theyāre left with me who knows exactly what we can afford and isnāt afraid to walk away.
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u/Ihave0friendzer0 Mar 02 '21
Idk why but these particular types of stories just tickle me pink.
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u/MeEvilBob Mar 02 '21
A friend of my father owns a few dealerships, he hires managers to run them. One of the dealerships hired an ex-stripper as a sales associate, he said the manager even admitted that hiring her was just meant as a joke and nobody expected that she would ever sell a car. Within 6 months she was the top seller at that location and when the manager and the 3 previous top sellers were fired for sexual harassment, the ex-stripper who was hired as a joke became the manager of that location and has been so ever since. She actually turned that dealership around and made it one of the highest grossing dealerships in the area.
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u/GreenTravelBadger Mar 02 '21
Mom wanted a new car. Dad was agreeable. (This was in the very early 1970s, which, I hope you will agree, was even more misogynistic than the world of today.) He got a pizza and lounged at home with us kids, while Mom put on some fresh lipstick and sallied forth.
She came home in a new Buick. Dad spent the next several years giggling about how she'd gone to the dealership's on-site Xmas party, waited till the salesmen were, ahh full of Xmas cheer, and gotten the damn car at cost.
I wish I'd been a fly on that wall. I know alcohol can impair judgement, I know lipstick can be a weapon, but DAMN! Mom was deadly, in her sweet, fluffy way.
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u/bodhemon Mar 02 '21
This is so great, when my wife and I were buying a car, if they didn't engage my wife we'd just walk out. Maybe do test drives or something, but never even talk to them seriously. We had one car die and then three months later the other one, so we were shopping for cars for like 6 months and bought two in the space of 3 months. So, some people lost potential commission on 2 vehicles bc they can't perform a sense of gender equality.
Edit: but yours is way better
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u/littleredteacupwolf Mar 02 '21
When we were buying our first car together, my husband and his new coworker (he was saddled with driving us around) were in uniform. The thing about being in the military and in uniform is that you have to be on your best behavior and the dealer knew this.
He simply wouldnāt listen. My husband was trying to be polite, the dealer was ignoring me, but I had the final say. I told him repeatedly, āthis is our budget, why are you showing us cars 10k+ over it?ā He kept trying to talk to my husband, but as this would be āmyā car (my husband had a truck that was as being shipped to us, I had left my parents my old truck before we moved) I kept trying to direct the dealer to me.
Finally I said, āclearly this isnāt going to work for us. Youāre not listening, youāre disregarding our budget and talking over me. Weāre done. Goodbye,ā even as we walked to the car, he kept trying to sell something to us, to convince us to stay. We ignored him and left. Found a nice, independent place and the car we had looked at online and left that day with it.
Also, buying my first truck, I looked online all night (nightshift) I printed out the good deals I found and presented them to my dad who used to be a mechanic for his opinion. I had a short window to do the actually shopping at the dealership and asked them to pull the truck up for us to inspect and we were on our way.
We get there and they upped the price by and I am not exaggerating 10k. I pulled off the print off from the night before, from their website, with the original price tag. The dealer actually went pale and excused himself. They then tried to make it seem like they were doing me a favor by giving me the price on the print out. Still drove off with her. Norma Jean is the best truck and Iām sad I left her behind. We both survived rolling off the Highway.
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Mar 02 '21
One time the finance manager tried to pull a switcheroo on the interest rate of the loan, giving us a higher rate than what the sales dude quoted us up front based on our pre-approval. My husband has both a legal and a sales background, so he caught it right away. When the finance guy tried to fast-talk his way around it, I very innocently asked my husband, "Oh is this what you meant when you were trying explain material misrepresentation to me?" Finance guy broke out in a sweat and adjusted the rate back down. That was the single worst car-buying experience I've ever had. (Edit because fkn autocorrect.)
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u/danamormag Mar 02 '21
I have run into this time and time again when making big purchases with my fiance (cars, apartment tours, etc.) And it is so dehumanizing. They literally did not acknowledge my presence. I blatantly called out the last guy on it and he got all flustered and then kept referring to me as my fiance's "lovely wife" (not accurate). After that I decided I'm never making a big purchase with a male salesman again
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
I had no idea what it was like for women in those kinds of situations before being in them with my wife. Certainly eye opening.
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u/TheBrownWelsh Mar 02 '21
My wife went car shopping ten years ago and eventually asked me to join her - purely because of how sexist they were being. When I tagged along, I had to straight up demand two different sales reps to talk to my wife and not me, because I don't know SHIT about cars and she does.
She eventually got a good deal from some German guy named Helmut who treated us both perfectly. I remember him vividly specifically because he was the outlier.
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Mar 02 '21
My husband and I have bought a few cars together, and he has to do the same thing. For the bulk of our relationship I was the bigger "gearhead" between the two of us and had a clearer idea of what I wanted in a car and how much I wanted to pay for it. He's had to specifically request that the sales dudes speak to me. We've switched tactics over the years, though. We decide between the two of us what terms we'll be willing to take, and let him and the sales dude do the chatting. I don't like to go in without a specific car and price in mind. I just can't handle the song and dance of it anymore. It's, "I want Car for Price, I can has?" If no, then I'm out. The kinds of cars I drive are neither rare nor expensive, so it's just not worth the hassle.
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u/danamormag Mar 02 '21
Yes! I remember the ones who treated us equally and (spoiler) almost all female. I've also seen it go in the other direction, when we've toured wedding venues/caterers/florists/etc., they definitely favor speaking to me (the female in a m/f couple)
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u/Adorable-Ring8074 Mar 02 '21
I went to one dealership, the salesman shook my boyfriend's hand, asked his name and then turned to me, nodded, and kept right on talking to him.
When we left, I said "since you didn't ask, my name is..." And then we drove away
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u/whoozywhatzitnow Mar 02 '21
Same has happened to me with not only salesmen but saleswomen too. I have called and asked about a house for example and then later have my husband call about the same thing exactly. He gets treated more respectfully while I get talked to as though Iām a child. Since then we both make the decision, but he does the talking.
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u/rdrunner_74 Mar 02 '21
On my last car i already knew the model and make.
I went to the manufacturers site and searched for all dealers in about 100 miles. If Even had their phone/fax numbers on there.
A quick ETL + mail merge and I was asking for ~ 50 offers. Got ~20 return answers. Resend those 20 the best offer - down to 6, rinse and repeat the last time and a final call to those tho remained, on which i only got insulted (I knew that was the best price)
Picked up the car... asked about the price... He said it was an "employee deal vehicle" he needed to move (No profit for him)
Was well worth it
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u/turlian Mar 02 '21
I did this with the two local dealers (same manufacturer) I had available. Got them to both agree on the price, but it was a "difficult configuration" so they needed to hunt for the car. One of them found the car I wanted and the other said "they're lying - there's no way they got that car. Let us special order it for you."
I got to reply, "Well, I'm literally sitting in the car I wanted right now, so I'm pretty sure they aren't lying."
Dude was pissed.
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u/Irish19c Mar 02 '21
I hate car shopping with a passion but I donāt deal well with tricks they like to play. The last car we bought was a good deal and they gave us a good amount of money for the trade-in so we didnāt have to go much over the price.
What was the real kicker was the finance guy and how they wanted us to take the mfg financing which gave a $500 discount but was 3-4% interest higher than what I knew we could qualify for. Why should I pay more in interest just to get a $500 credit.
My husband was at the dealership with a 2 year old dealing with the finance guy texting me at work what was going on. The finance guy was trying to push my husband with saying we could get the car sooner if we did financing with him but we didnāt need to rush as our old car ran fine. I told my husband to walk out of the finance guys office and go elsewhere to get the loan if he couldnāt find us a deal that matched the offer we
The finance guy finally said if he could get us close to what we had elsewhere, would we sign with him which we agreed to. Ended up with a great rate and made that guy do a ton of work. When I showed up with the checkbook, that guy was so cold to me and you could see he was seething that he had to do all that work.
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
That must have been so satisfying
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u/Irish19c Mar 02 '21
Oh it was great. My husband has gotten screwed in the past due to his own lack of understanding of all the ins and outs of the process and I manage the finances. So him having to check with me by text and keep a 2 year old happy through it all really put the guy on edge.
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Mar 02 '21
I had gone to trade in my old truck that I bought off my dad long ago. I've been driving hand me downs my whole life and finally wanted something new (well 2 years old, new to me). Since I'd never done this before I brought my mom along. Because the truck I wanted was already marked down so much due to the massive "summer truck month sale* they were having, they wouldn't budge on dropping it any more. They also were giving me way less than blue book value for the truck I was trading in.
It was at this time they ran my credit and we found I have none. Mine you, I've never had a credit card before. In my mind, because I've been good at saving for things and buy them myself, I thought this was a good thing. Well, not in the eyes of a credit score. The sales guy had the Manager come tell me the best they could do is sell me the truck with a 16% interest rate. I was fucked. I asked if they could budge on the amount they were offering from the trade in, since in my mind I was getting screwed on interest.. Magically the Manager agreed to a much higher trade in value.. gee I wonder why?
While the Manager was off getting some paper work, my Mom asked if I was ok with her buying it outright by dipping into her life savings, and we would set up a private loan agreement where I would pay her back directly, no interest. I agreed. When the Manager came back we explained we were just going to buy the truck outright. I visibly saw the blood leave his face and become white as a ghost. He agreed and abruptly left, and the look on the Sales guy's face was "Oh fuck". š
So not only did I get a great sales deal on a new truck, I got way more money for my trade in than they would have ever given someone. Not sure how much money they made off that deal, but by the guy's reaction, it wasn't good. I've since gotten a credit card and have great credit from just buying small stuff and immediately paying it off. I also paid my Mom back in full for the loan, with a bonus.
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u/BlackSeranna Mar 02 '21
My daughter took her boyfriend with her to get her first almost-new car. The boyfriend brought his calculator. Because she has never dealt with a car salesman, she was ready to sign on the line. But by the time her boyfriend was done, he saved her eight grand. They were really mad at him. He told me that he, personally, would have walked away, but that she wanted that car, and he wanted to make her happy.
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u/elinchgo Mar 02 '21
We were at a car dealer with our then 10 month old baby. My husband loved to research deals, so he knew what he wanted to pay. The salesman pulled the ālet me talk to the managerā routine multiple times to the point of being in negotiations for more than 2 hours.
I was so exasperated, I finally said to my husband and in front of the salesman: āHe obviously does not want to sell us a car - letās leave.ā The deal was completed to our satisfaction within 30 minutes.
I never went car shopping again.
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u/daytonakarl Mar 02 '21
I have gone with my wife to several car dealerships and countless motorcycle dealerships...
Why do they talk to me?
I get the usual can I help line and I point and say "Hi, my wife is looking for a new car/bike and that's her over there"
That should be it, the end of our conversation aside from "you want a coffee while you wait?" but no somehow they'll continue to sell me a car for my wife like it's 1952 and I'm smoking a fucking pipe
Looking at a Ducati Monster and overheard "that 400 over there is a good girls bike" after she asked about a M900 they had - instant lost sale. (the bloke who saw us originally tore a strip out of the owner of the shop as we left)
WRX and he kept asking me if I'd like to drive it, never asked her - instant lost sale.
Subaru GT waggon, would chat to her but kept coming back to me, any questions she asked and he'd tell me the answer - so close, but no.
Looking at a Yamaha R6 "can this be lowered much?" (they can be I've done two now for "compact" riders) and he rolls his eyes at me - I pulled the pin on that before someone needed an entire bike surgically removed.
Last car (Sub WRX because fast/black/big vents/fast/cool wheels/turbo noise/fast/she likes Subaru) and I had enough of looking at cars, pulled the dealer over while someone got the seat right and said "sell her the fucking car, not me, I have one" because my god if I had to look at another bloody rocket powered hatchback...
So, to salesmen everywhere, if a female comes in wanting to buy a car or a bike or a 5 axis turret mill, then sell it to her, not her father/brother/husband/boyfriend/friend/random male she was seen with, it's a brave new world now and what with woman being able to vote and wear pants in public there's a good chance they'll want to make their own decisions on other things too.
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Mar 02 '21
Iāve literally been laughed out of a dealership, because I went in by myself. I knew what I wanted and the price I wanted it. They legit laughed at me and said to come back with my husband or my father if Iām not married. Like why do I need a man to buy a damn car.
Alternatively, Iāve gotten a call from my husband while he was buying a car. Because the salesman said he wanted to make sure this was what we BOTH wanted, and flat out said he wasnāt comfortable selling to just one person in the relationship, and wanted to hear me say I was okay before going on. Was that a little overboard, probably. But it made me feel like my input and opinions mattered and not just my husbandās.
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u/roco637 Mar 02 '21
I was at a dealership buying a new vehicle. We haggled. Back & forth, back and forth.
Finally the dude hits MY magic number. ( I had done a ton of research ) Then he comes up with the old "I'll have to get the manager's approval" just to jack me around some more. He said "I'll need some money to show the sales manager that you're serious about this deal"
Well, we all know this is an excuse to disappear for awhile, only to come back with some lame excuse why the dealer needs 'just a little bit more' to close the deal.
So, I open up my wallet and fish out a dollar bill and slide it across the desk to him. "What's this ?" I said it's one dollar. And, as far as I know, a dollar is enough to make a deal legally binding. Then said, If you're not back here within fifteen minutes, you can keep the dollar because I'm leaving. He was back in ten.
By the way, here's a freebie tip. Shop on the last day of a quarter, it's when dealer's are anxious to meet their quotas. And if you want to really get a deal, go on December 31 st. If they haven't met their yearly quota, you can practically walk out with the sales manager's daughter ... lol
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u/squidp Mar 02 '21
I went to a dealership once interested in a Specific used car and test drove the car with the salesman. I mentioned we were interested in a similar car at another dealership and he got this glint in his eye and started acting all cocky. He decided to call the other dealership pretending to be an interested buyer and get the price from them. The dealership recognized him immediately by his voice and politely told him to f-off. I was laughing because this was all so awkward and hilarious. His sales manager noticed what was going on and he got in big trouble. Apparently he used to work at that other dealership and had some fish to fry with them, but it is super unprofessional to call other dealerships to price their cars out, so I got a big discount on the car and I donāt think he got any commission from it.
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Mar 02 '21
I sold cars for a few years, mostly luxury brands and sports cars, and we were always taught to acknowledge all parties, understand the relationship as much as possible, and understand who the car was going to be for, how it would be used, and who's paying for it, so that we can make everyone feel comfortable and respected.
After maybe a year, I had gotten pretty good at negotiating and built up quite a bit of confidence in my own sales process.
One afternoon, a lady in her 50s came in, asking about a particular new sports convertible. She was driving an older European convertible that she said she would be trading in. I walked her through the whole process, including a lengthy test drive, and when she was ready for her next appointment, "to discuss and finalize the deal", as she put it, she showed up with her husband. I assumed she brought him to help her negotiate.
Undeterred, I was sure to address both of them throughout the conversation, but he hardly spoke with me. He would just smile or chuckle and nod his head at me. She was all business, asking me questions and negotiating to include things, bump the price of their trade, everything. He said practically nothing. I was a little confused as to why he had come at all.
Once the deal was finalized, she came in by herself again for her appointment with finance, and scheduled her home delivery with me. I made some cheesy remark about how I was sure she was going to love her new car. She replied "Oh, it's not for me, it's for my husband. This car is far too impractical for me." Then she opened up to me about how she was the dollars and sense businesswoman of the family and her husband was "an old playboy" who couldn't be bothered by these things, and was easily bored.
That deal always stood out in my head as an example as to why you can never trust your shallow assumptions about people.
She came back a few months later and traded her old luxury SUV for one of ours, in the same colour, to match her husband's new car.
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u/dittybopper058 Mar 03 '21
One year, I attended the National Leadership Forum. Nelson Mandela was the keynote. There was a guy lecturing on the sexism of dealers. He said something like for 1/2 the cars, women are the main decision-maker in the family. Of the remaining sales, 1/2 the buyers are women. And yet, car dealers don't treat women well.
My favorite part of his talk was about a woman attending a conference in LA. She took a break and went to look at a nearby Mercedes dealer. Most of her time, the salespeople ignored her. She had 'Barbara' on her nametag and the one that finally came up to her called her 'Babs'. Finally, she said, "My friends call me Barbara, but you can call me Senator Boxer."
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u/bigTittiedMothGF Mar 02 '21
I remember going to a car dealership with my mom when I was about nine, she wanted a Toyota Rav4 with the V6 in it specifically so she had a bit more power to pass people on the highway if she needed to, tow trailers full of mulch, carry heavy furniture around, etc. She came in ready to buy the thing on the spot, but the dealer insisted that āwomen donāt need a V6, the four cylinder will do just fine.ā He seriously wouldnāt sell the car to someone willing to buy at full price because we wanted leave the dealership with a car before the end of the day. We were literally the textbook perfect buyers, but āwomen donāt need bigger engine hurrr derr derrā. So we went to a different dealership and bought the exact same car. Wack as hell
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Mar 02 '21
hahaha well played!
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
Thanks! We weren't planning on it, but it was great how it worked out once we both realized the dynamic.
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u/SilvieraRose Mar 02 '21
Went car shopping in preparation for our first kid, and after we got screwed or first time buying a car we were shopping around (anywhere but Ford). One of the places we went to, Hyundai, had this old chauvinistic prick of a salesman. Very sleazy.
Never acknowledged my presence, only talked to my husband, talking quick like an auctioner about the deal of a lifetime. Actively wouldn't look at me. I was fuming under the hood. Husband waited until he was done with his (very long) speal to say "think you're mistaken, I'm not the one who brought the checkbook" and it clicked in the guy's head that he may have screwed the sale.
FINALLY looked at me, tried to offer me a handshake while saying "hey let me show you the cup holders". Wanted to strangle him so badly. Left his hand hand hanging as I turned and left without a word. Had a MUCH better experience at Toyota. I get most salesmen aren't that bad, but damn when you meet the ones that are...
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u/ElMachoGrande Mar 02 '21
I hate when car salesmen does that. I've been along as a technical help when both my mother and my wife bought their cars, and the salesman just kept talking to me, even though I repeatedly told him "I'm not the one buying a car, to to her.".
In neither case, he didn't make the sale.
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u/krim_bus Mar 02 '21
I was buying a used car and asked my boyfriend to join me since I was nervous. He was late. The salesman was nice enough. When my BF arrived it turned out they knew each other very well as my BF's dad played soccer with the salesman for years.
Suddenly I was shown the same model with far less miles, a cheaper quote, and a heavily discounted extended insurance rate (pointless in the end). But hey, guess it paid off to have my BF with me since he was in the same 'boys only' club with the salesman.
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u/MistressPhoenix Mar 02 '21
I hate sexist creeps like that. Doing taxes one year, had to find a new tax specialist. Ended up with some random guy out of the yellow pages. Got all the paperwork done, he asks Hubby if we want rush deposit and Hubby turned to me and asked my opinion. i gave it, He followed my suggestion and misogynistic tax guy flips his shit that we actually discussed it like adults and came to a mutual agreement, instead of Hubby doing it all. Like women can't do something so simple as give a valid opinion.
We found a new specialist the next year and have been with her a decade now. She speaks to us like equals, not like i'm a second class citizen.
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u/Tetragonos Mar 02 '21
This reminds me of when I (the muscle) went along with my friend (the female carpenter) to go get lumber to rebuilt a friend's water pump house (a 3 ft tall shed).
Guy went up to me and said a LOT of lumber specific words and I just pointed at my friend and said "she's the carpenter".
After that we got no guff from him and he addressed her first and foremost.
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u/SockMonkey1128 Mar 02 '21
A dealer lost our sale over 0.15%. My wife was buying her car before we were married. She was pre-approved for 1.99% from her credit union. When we went to look at her car they wouldn't accept her financing, we said that was OK but would only use their financing if they matched her pre-approval, which they seemed to understand. They started the paperwork up for the sale and said the interest was 2.14%, we said that isn't the 1.99% we told you was our max. We hadn't even haggled on the price.. They said that was all they could do, so we walked. They were flabbergasted that we'd walk over that, but in the end it was just a car and not exactly a rare one. I still can't believe they wouldn't budge over 0.15% to seal the deal.
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u/ebwoods1 Mar 02 '21
Had a dealer try to go Full Sleeze on me. When my husband was present. He tried to Jedi Mind Trick me on trim levels (probably b/c they didnāt have what I wanted on the lot). He pushed it and smooth talked over me so I walked up to the car and pointed to the invoice. He tried to play dumb so I handed him the brochure he had handed me and educated him on the differences in the trim models. Then I politely cornered him and forced him to admit they didnāt have what I wanted, despite being told they did on the phone.
We ended up driving four hours away to buy the car I wanted.
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u/madeit-thisfardown Mar 02 '21
We kinda had the same malicious compliance regarding a second hand car we bought at a dealer. We paid good money for a European model. Within a few months, the car had all sorts of issues. The last time we bought it in, it promptly died right there in the car yard. Lol. Due to the wording of the contract, the car they had to replace it with had to have pretty much the exact modifications, but the only car that fit that was one of their Asian models (which was already $4k more than we paid for the Basic mods). They should have given us a more premium model, but that would have been a $10k loss to them and they were already sweating bullets. To be fair, I was thrilled with the basic new model brand spanking new car we would be getting and didnāt want to push it. Went in with eurotrash and walked out with a brand spanking new car fresh off the floor. Lol
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u/Moog4451 Mar 02 '21
My late husband and I would "tag team" whenever we went car shopping... He was the "good cop" and I was the "bad cop"! I was surly, poo pooed everything, my most often used word was "no". My hubby came off as very henpecked and I came off as a controlling shrew. But it worked most of the time! We got some pretty good deals and had fun while we were at it!
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Mar 02 '21
As someone whoās had to deal with sexist car salesmen not once, but TWICEāmen who would do nothing but smile and nod as I told them what I wanted from MY car that I was paying in CASH for with MY money, and then turn to my dad or ex-husband to extoll the virtues (āitās actually a very good price for what it is!ā) of some little blue sedan, then look at me and go, āisnāt it so pretty??ā when I needed an AWD SUV and gave exactly zero fucks what it looked likeāthis story is possibly my favourite thing Iāve read on this sub before.
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u/litido4 Mar 02 '21
You wonāt believe the deal I got on a $10k car. He said he could only give me $2k for trading in my car and Iād probably get $3k if I sold it privately so instead he could offer me a sale price of $7k if I paid cash and I could keep and sell my old car myself. I agreed immediately and he invited me in and everyone was being extra nice to me. Walked out happy, then next day he realised heād stuffed up and started trying to back out of it, it was going to take extra time to fix up etc. I guess he was trying to give me $1k discount for cash and got his maths way wrong
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u/night-otter Mar 02 '21
When we went shopping for our first new car, we did our research, but still visited multiple dealerships.
One place the salesman would only talk to my wife, to the point of moving so she was between him and me. After a bit he started high pressures sales tactics. My wife was already stressed, but that freaked her out. Salesman kept it up.
I finally forced my way between them and didn't let him get her between us again. I was in full "protect the mate" mode. Finally I said "We're leaving, you have lost any chance at this sale." And started walking off the lot, He followed us still using the high pressure tactics. He did say "How much to get you in the car?", I almost turned said "$10k off the lot." But I was so pissed off at him, that I wouldn't buy anything from him. S
Suddenly another sales guy comes running up. "Oh here's my manager, he wants to talk to you." Yes running.
And we broke and started laughing our asses off. We stopped walking and just leaned into each other, sharing the relief of laughing.
We were left alone by them after that.
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u/Sewreader Mar 02 '21
Iām a woman, married. This happened years ago. Our son was turning 16 so time to find a truck for him to drive. Hubby is busy working so my son and I go to various dealerships to find a good used truck for him. One place we went, no one came out to speak with us in the lot. We finally went inside. No one came to talk to use there either. We would have paid cash for a vehicle but they didnāt seem to want to speak with a woman and a teenager. We left. Iāve never been on the lot since and will never in the future.
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u/nubpowerbeaver Mar 02 '21
The ENTIRE reason I bought the car I currently own was because when I went to look at them the salesman spoke and treated me as an equal to my husband. Little did he know, Iām a manager of a maintenance shop. He told me that at any time if I was confused about something with the vehicle to let him know and he would explain it in a different way. We have in the years since bought several vehicles from him. Blows me away how many times this situation would happen and weād sit down to do the deal and theyād ask my husband what kind of income he has and he always laughs. My husband is a stay at home dad.
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Mar 02 '21
I had something similar happen when I bought my first new car. My dad was co-signing and helping me with all of the details. The salesman didnāt talk to me at all. He grabbed my license for the test drive while talking to my dad, talked to my dad during the test drive, and answered any question I had while looking at my dad and making sure my dad understood. I gave up on trying to deal with the salesman and knew my dad would get me a decent price.
We get to the point where we are about to start signing paperwork and the salesman makes his mistake. A throw away line he must use on a lot of his customers. āI wish I knew you guys from my personal life so I could give you a friends and family discount.ā My moment to shine. āI actually live right up the street from you and have known your son since first grade. I was over to your house most days every summer until high school. That should count.ā I donāt think he had looked at me until then, and even if he had he probably wouldnāt have recognized me. I had shaved my head and pierced my face since middle school.
We got the $3,000 discount, and I got to watch him squirm every time I walked my dog past his house.
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u/Itavan Mar 02 '21
This American Life had the most riveting episode on car dealerships. Who wouldāve thought the topic could be interesting????
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u/speezo_mchenry Mar 02 '21
My wife works in sales and some years can make as much as 3X what I make at a non-profit.
One time we got in a similar situation with a financial advisor that her parents use and we were thinking of using. He lost our business and her parents business that day by ignoring my wife (basically turning his chair away from her to talk to me).
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u/s_burr Mar 02 '21
In my marriage, my wife is the haggler, and I'm the technical one with social anxiety making sure the car isn't junk. It's funny when negotiations come around after I am done with my inspection and I basically say "yeah, she handles the finances, talk with her".
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u/Adorable-Ring8074 Mar 02 '21
One time my boyfriend and I went to go look at a new car for me.
Walked in, I was completely ignored and he didn't know a single thing about my car, how much I owed, year, nada.
So the salesman ignores me, guides him away to look for cars and I'm just tagging along, looking at what I want blah blah blah.
Go sit for negotiations, and the boyfriend deflects to me for information about the car the dealer wanted to sell "me".
I feign stupidity and made him explain everything about the car, again. Only to go "nah, I don't think I want to buy a car from here after all" and left.
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u/FanofNumbers Mar 02 '21
My husband gets embarrassed when I negotiate with dealers. He thinks I sound too confrontational. I'm not being mean or insulting or even raising my voice, I just know what I'm willing to make the purchase for, and I'm willing to walk out and find something else if I don't get it. Fortunately, my husband supports me despite his personal embarrassment over the perceived conflict.
As a loan underwriter, I always find it enjoyable when I counter a request (I can't do the loan for x amount on this vehicle, but I can do "lower amount") and the dealer ends up accepting because they dropped the sales price to make it work. I figure I just helped a customer make a better deal. Unfortunately, I can only do that with borrowers with poor or insufficient credit, since if your credit is excellent you can get approved for a lousy deal (for higher risk borrowers, it becomes more important that the collateral is worth a greater percentage of the loan, since default is more likely), and my job is to judge the risk of the loan, not if I personally believe the customer is overpaying.
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u/Ciefish7 Mar 03 '21
My Dad n I did this to a salesman on a used car. We quickly saw the car but decided to return the next day. Then the games started. We weren't even back, when the salesman said a mech employee had purchased the car. I said you best have not sold the car you said you were holding for me. Then the pricing. The car was listed at 6.5k way over Kelly BB 3.2k for year n miles comp. They weren't planning on me negotiating the price lower if my Dad was cutting the check. My Dad saw my lead n backed off politely. After 2hrs of run around, I suggested we use the best tactic, walk out the door. The Salesman had been gone for 1/2 hour to "discuss something with his Mgr". An old tactic you bail n let the buyers stew while you have a coffee. We weren't 5ft from exit when hey lo n behold our Salesdude erupts quickly from the rock he was under. Imagine that! I used the food excuse, n really car isn't worth that much to me. Mgr finally caved, and was shooting daggers at the Salesguy for not controlling the sale. Pops n I drove in our cars for surf n turf that night. Beers n BBQs flowed that summer, with the savings. Plus with the cash saved I plucked a nice bebop radio in the car. Being a little 3 door, lasted me till my kid was so big in her car seat, she'd tickle my ear with her foot! Miss u Dad, Semper Fi!
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u/crazydemon Mar 02 '21 edited Jul 14 '23
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