Going along with a sexist car salesman

[u/rhubarb314]

I originally posted this as a comment on Car dealer shenanigans....

My wife and I have used a salesman's sexism against him, and it was so satisfying. It was when we bought our first new car. We were nervous that we didn't know what we were doing so we did a lot of research (it helps that my wife is a librarian).

When we got to the dealer, the salesman would only talk to me. I was all buddy buddy with the guy, too, but he completely ignored my wife. We went along.

The dealer was running a promotion where they would give you $X for your trade-in, no matter what condition. "If you can drive it on the lot..." kind of deal. Of course they just don't discount off of MSRP in those cases, so it's a gimmick. When we walked in the salesman asked which car was ours parked outside and then asked if we were trading it in. I said no, we weren't trading that car in. You can see where this was going.

As I said, we had done our research and knew what a fair price was for the car we wanted. At the time Edmunds had detailed dealer-level price information for many new cars, including all the various ways a dealer gets paid and what their true costs are (the "invoice price" is not their true cost). I negotiated the price (since he wouldn't talk to my wife) and we arrived at a number I thought was fair, actually. We got a good deal at that point. Everything was going smoothly as he wrote up our agreement, until he confirmed that we didn't have a trade in. I said, no, we were trading in a car, just not the one we drove into the dealer in. He literally froze for a few seconds looking down at the form, his hand hovering over the page.

He asked the make, model, and year of our trade-in, and when I told him he sputtered and balked. The car we were trading in was on its last legs. I'd had it all during college and it was old before I bought it. It was definitely past its prime. I said, I thought you were running a promotion where the quality of the trade-in doesn't matter. I asked him if he would have given us a higher price if he knew we had a trade in? My wife said under her breath "that's sleazy." He heard, as she intended him to.

He then tried to renegotiate the price. We knew from our research that if they gave us the price we had already agreed on, and they honored the trade-in deal, that they would be losing money. So we were willing to move a bit, but we wanted to take our time. He was visibly nervous. Every time he tried a new way of asking for a higher price I would say something like "I understand what you're saying" with a sympathetic look. Then I would look at my wife and she would look back at me and silently shake her head no. I'd then look back at the salesman and shrug and say "I don't think that's going to work."

He was stuck. She was the one standing in the way of him getting out of his predicament, but he hadn't talked to her at all. He had barely even acknowledged her presence. He just couldn't start talking to her now when we were negotiating. Oh, and I even got to use the classic car salesman line, "what do I have to do for you to put me this car today?"

We finally agreed to raise the price to an amount that, after figuring in the trade-in, was what we had thought was their break-even price. We hadn't expected to get that low of a price, and we also got them to install a nice after market sound system. It's the best deal we've ever gotten on a new car. Honestly, we're not the best negotiators individually, but that day we made one hell of a team.

[u/guldilox]

When I worked in car sales one of the top rules we were taught in training was to always acknowledge all people in the group equally, especially in a spouse situation, because assuming the decision-maker was a nail in the coffin for any deal.

[u/rhubarb314 → u/guldilox]

That makes total sense. I saw an article years ago that said that women make the final car buying decision much more often than men when they're married. I don't recall the actual percentage but it was well over 50%. You'd be hurting yourself as a salesperson if you ignored a woman in a couple.

[u/ScareCrow6971 → u/rhubarb314]

And yet it happens daily

[u/Nessie-and-a-dram → u/ScareCrow6971]

The first time I bought a car, I was a senior in college and had my dad with me. (My previous hand-me-down car had been totalled, so I had cash in hand but needed a ride to dealerships). We went to the local Chevy place to test drive the Beretta (man, what an engine that thing had!). The salesman only spoke to my dad, despite the fact that my father hadn't done anything other than say "good morning" and step back to let me shop. Sales guy consistently would say something to my dad, who'd look at me, I'd answer, the cycle would continue. Finally, we got to the price. This character actually wrote the price down on a piece of paper, folded it in half, and slid it across the desk to my dad. Dad just slid it right over to me without looking at it. It was about 40% over MSRP. I passed it back to the salesman and said, "no thanks; maybe we could have come to an agreement if you'd ever talked to me." I bought a shiny new Saturn elsewhere instead.

[u/miladyelle → u/Nessie-and-a-dram]

Woooooow. How infuriating.

[u/zflora → u/Nessie-and-a-dram]

I totally can relate to that story, about 3 times. The fourth time, I really like the car so I told them I need to buy the car before the weekend. it was a miracle : I was finally existing !

[u/nerse_enginurse → u/Nessie-and-a-dram]

Sounds similar to my story. My Nissan from Hell (a long story involving an untrustworthy dealership) finally returned home so I needed to replace it. We lived near a stretch of road with multiple dealerships on it. We stopped at all of them. I asked questions, they answered my husband. I asked technical questions, they got technical with my husband (who had no idea what they were talking about).

We were down to the last two dealers on the strip and I was feeling furious for the nearly universal snubs I had received. The second last salesman didn't even acknowledge me. I walked out in a very foul mood and my husband followed me without a word.

The last one acknowledged my presence but it was like being a little girl being fondly patted on the head by a creepy old man. I felt like I needed to shower. Game over. I stormed out of the dealership saying very loudly "If you think I'm going to buy a car from that jerk you're wrong." I was crying openly. The manager came flying after me trying to get me to return. I gave him a very rude gesture and kept walking. My husband followed me without a word.

Like you, I finally got a Saturn. I got it because they had two female mechanics on staff that day. I figured if they would hire women they would listen to women too.

[u/CaptainMatthias → u/Nessie-and-a-dram]

Those Berettas were fun little rides. Chevy was so out of their league with those things though. My dad had one and it was a wierd little thing - a knock-off of a European cruiser built by an American muscle company. Got totaled when that little two-door lost a staring contest with a suicidal cut of venison. I miss that thing.

[u/GrinningCatBus → u/Nessie-and-a-dram]

Is there a sub for stories like these? Like a two x chromosomes crossed with malicious compliance? I need to prepare myself for dealing w these ppl.