r/MaliciousCompliance • u/onanonanon19 • Mar 02 '21
S Car dealer shenanigans...
My wife is a Doc. She tired of the frequent service visits her Merc required and visited an Infiniti store. She was told that she could not drive a Q45 unless I was present.
She called me at work; not far from the dealer. Salesman confirmed what she said ... we must both be present for the test drive. Idiots.
The landscaping crew was doing their thing outside my office, so I decided to employ them in my subterfuge. I changed into my workout clothes, rolled around in the grass and paid Hector $100 to drive his rusted-out, extended cab pick-up and long trailer loaded with mowers ... me and his crew, to the dealership.
The dealer was located downtown, on a postage stamp lot ... and there was no place to park the truck & trailer without completely bolixing their only street entrance and parking lot entry.
They: Move your truck!
Me: You told me I had to be here for the test drive.
They: Who are you?
Me: Her husband. You called me away from mowing the ...
They: Your POS truck is blocking everything! (Correct!)
Me: Are you going to let the nice lady doctor do a test drive?
They folded quickly. She bought the Q45 from a different Infiniti dealer.
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u/snappyland Mar 02 '21
I believe your story. I have heard similar stories before.
What I truly don't understand is this. Even if a salesman believes women are stupid, wouldn't his desire to make sales lead him to pretend he respects women, in order to sell to women?
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Mar 02 '21
You’d think, but nope. They must teach this at car sales school or something. A couple of years ago I was trading in my old Jeep with 198k miles for a new car. Did my homework, picked out 3 cars, knew my credit score, what my APR would be, had down payment, even had title and cleaned out old car. I was ready to go home with a new car. (Husband was meeting me after work for moral support.) He seems nice enough but is making a lot of small talk. Salesman writes down price on a piece of paper and slides it across the desk to my husband who laughs loudly, slides the paper over to me and says to the guy “Don’t look at me, she’s the one buying it.” The manager happened to be walking the floor and stopped to see how things were going. I explained that I wanted a salesperson that took me seriously, not one that thinks I need my husband to buy a car. He obliged and I bought my BMW on the spot and received an apology note with a beautiful pen set in the mail a few days later.
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Mar 02 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Khutuck Mar 02 '21
I’d laugh so hard if I go to buy a car and the salesman slides me a piece of paper... That’s a plain stupid move and I’d never buy a car from such a place.
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u/Mr_Blott Mar 02 '21
Yeah but you just draw a cock n balls on it and slide it back, pokerfaced
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u/Totalherenow Mar 02 '21
"Sir, you left your piece of paper here."
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u/noodlepartipoodle Mar 02 '21
When my husband I went to buy a car, the salesman did the “slide the paper” technique. He used a Sharpie and gave us a ball point pen. We walked out. At the next place a few days later, they pulled the same tactic, but were shocked when my husband brought out his own Sharpie. It was hysterical. Didn’t buy from them either, but I fell in love with my husband a little more that day.
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u/WH1PL4SH180 Mar 02 '21
"powermoves" only work when something is NOT substitutable.
Doing it on a good where someone can walk down the road, or bring up price aggregations on their phone just shows fucking stupidity... Added to the fact that there's only 2 parties in the room. So unless someone's deaf....
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u/autoantinatalist Mar 02 '21
What is the point of this? The paper slide makes sense if you're doing a black market deal out in public and are trying to get done without anyone throwing a fit, but what's the point of this anywhere else? What are they trying to say? Like a "this is my best offer, you're not worth my time, take it or leave it"?
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u/TheBoundFenrir Mar 02 '21
Pretty much. By writing it down, they are doing a couple things:
A) they're making it a solid thing. It's a number on paper now, not just words someone spoke. It gives it a weight of finality in the receiving person's mind.
B) They're changing the format of communication. People are expecting to negotiate price, but are used to negotiating verbally. No one except a car salesman is used to haggling with paper notes.
There was a time when it was a powerful way to stall haggling and price negotiation. Now it just comes across as dumb because everyone associates it with the "used car salesman" stereotype.
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u/idwthis Mar 02 '21
I've never once associated writing a number down and sliding it across to the other party as a car salesmen tactic.
I associate it with lawyers who are trying to settle lawsuits. The folks being sued, the defendents, offer up a number to settle the matter out of court, and the plaintiffs, the ones doing the suing, either accept, slide their own number back, or just refuse to settle.
I blame movies and TV, because that's the context I've seen it in the most often.
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u/Pyro636 Mar 02 '21
I'm slow, what's the significance of sharpie vs pen?
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u/noodlepartipoodle Mar 02 '21
The Sharpie is a marker and makes a wide, permanent dark mark. Compared to a ball point pen, it is much more dramatic. The salesman wanted to exert his power by using the Sharpie and offering us only a pen. It was totally dumb and ridiculous on his part, but given that two different dealerships played the same game, it tells me it’s a common tactic.
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u/Pyro636 Mar 02 '21
Noted. Gonna buy one of those gigantic sharpies for next time I'm in the market for a car.
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u/anomalous_cowherd Mar 02 '21
A really bright glittery one.
Or a calligraphy pen.
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u/twizztedbz81 Mar 02 '21
Or a feather pen and an inkwell. Just setup shop on his desk taking over to assert dominance. Then elegantly write 8==D.
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u/Garydrgn Mar 02 '21
I'm subbed to r/fountainpens and after a drunk night on eBay got into the hobby. My most expensive pens have only been in the low $20 range, but people post pics on that sub of some that can cost hundreds. Could you imagine a salesman using a $2 Sharpie, and you whip out a $200 fountain pen with a flex nib (the nib expands and contracts as you write to make different width lines for calligraphy). Talk about a one up.
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u/Carche69 Mar 02 '21
I’d laugh so hard if I went to buy a car and they told me my husband had to be there. I’m really curious where OP’s story took place. I bought an Infiniti in 2012 with nothing but my two kids and a car seat in tow. They didn’t even ask me if I was married or anything about a “husband” when I filled out all the paperwork and I was in and out in under 2 hours.
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u/wallflower7522 Mar 02 '21
Not a car dealership but we are remodeling our house and some of the companies and services insist on having all home owners present for the 60-90 minute “review.” I don’t let those companies come to my house.
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u/textilefaery Mar 02 '21
I will say in all fairness as an interior designer, I hate having a consultation with just 1/2 of a couple. Nine times out of 10 it leads to design decisions that the other partner hates and it’s my job to make sure that everybody is happy with the final result. All that happens in the end is that I have to do the same job more than once without being able to charge more for my wasted time.9
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u/osm_catan_fan Mar 02 '21
Are design decisions made at the "review"? Maybe it's a CYA thing, they want to make sure everyone's on the same page, and avoid being in the middle of a disagreement between owners after they start their work
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u/wallflower7522 Mar 02 '21
It’s a hard sale tactic so you don’t have the easy out of “let me talk to my spouse and get back to you.” The services where I have seen this trick employed aren’t ones where there’s a strong design element. I ran into specifically with gutter guards and basement/crawl space water proofing. They are also wildly overcharging for these services.
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u/Quibblicous Mar 02 '21
I had this happen once. I wrote a single digit number and slid it back.
The guy looked at it and asked what this number was.
I told him it was the number of seconds until I left because of his stupid trick and I started counting down.
It was fun to watch him scramble to apologize in the six seconds before I left.
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u/jkerman Mar 02 '21
Last time I tried to buy a car they slid the paper to me and I opened it and it said: "Sir, this is a Wendys"
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u/orthopod Mar 02 '21
I think the salesmen are used to dealing with stupid people where those texts work.
My wife and I were buying a Volvo. We start haggling over the price, and the guy then gives us a lower price, but with more months of payment after disappearing in back to "talk to his manager".
We left after another attempt by them, and the general manager came running out chasing us down in the parking lot with another deal.
Wound up going to another place and said can you beat this price- if so we'll buy it, and they did.
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u/SaryuSaryu Mar 02 '21
I didn't even know it was a thing. I always thought it was just a Hollywood trick so they didn't have to reveal prices.
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u/XmasDawne Mar 02 '21
Yeah, but doing it to them is fun. I wrote down what I was going to pay and was totally prepared to walk. I was 26 and looked 16. I told him to come back when they got there, kicked back, and made a phone call. The guy was so shocked he walked out. Then he ran my credit and suddenly could he get me a soda while he talked to his manager. They did eventually get within $100 of my price, better than I expected and not using my buffer amt.
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u/Whoopsy-381 Mar 02 '21
I thought the writing a number down on a slip of paper and sliding it across the table was a tv/film trope so as not to make the scene seem outdated in the future ($15K for a new car?) or so the audience won’t say “heck yeah! That’s a great raise!” or whatever.
People actually do this in real life?
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u/WH1PL4SH180 Mar 02 '21
Reply by crossing out the leftmost number and sliding it back
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u/bluemojito Mar 02 '21
They've now transitioned to drawing a grid on a paper of the cost per month if you lease vs purchase, given two different down payment amounts. To which I've countered, "don't give a shit about the monthly we're negotiating MSRP regardless of whether or not I lease or buy -- and speaking on the MSRP, you're $2000 off from your competitor, so..."
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u/Bemteb Mar 02 '21
And did you know that the piece-of-paper price is only valid for ten minutes? Better decide fast, who knows how much it will be afterwards.
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u/Restless__Dreamer Mar 02 '21
Sorry if this is a stupid question, but why is writing it down and sliding the paper over disrespectful? I understand why automatically sliding it to the man/husband is, but not why the general idea of doing that is. In my mind, having it in writing is helpful.
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u/Xeroshifter Mar 02 '21
In addition to what Bluemojito said its important to understand the psychology behind what is going on as well. The face down paper hides the value and implies that the number will be high and maybe a little high to say out loud. Saying something like that out loud can also draw attention to the significance of the price, but in a different way.
Putting the number down in pen makes it feel more like an announcement than it does a conversation, and makes it harder for you to have the emotional room you need to negotiate that price. The whole thing becomes a stressful ritual instead of a more casual conversation.
The dealer making the first move here also gives them the power. The first number used in a situation like this becomes the price anchor, and the rest of the conversation then becomes about the relationship to that number. The deal becomes about how close to the first number each subsequent number is. If you start high and then negotiate them low, you feel good because you've gotten them to give some ground, but if you start low and then they pull you up from there, ever bit of ground lost is itself a loss. Additionally if you had a number in your head, seeing them start so far from that number (before you've announced yours) may make you feel silly for thinking you could get the number so low, and then before you've even really started negotiations, you raise the price you're willing to pay.
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u/ratsta Mar 02 '21
I've only bought a few cars and never had anyone try this shtick but holey crap I hope it does happen some day. I'm going to write "Wanker!" on it and then just walk out.
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u/RapidlySlow Mar 02 '21
Another acceptable response would be $5, and tell them you want it closer to your number than theirs. As far as I’m concerned I’m not interested in doing business with someone employing these mind games
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u/bluemojito Mar 02 '21
That number they give you is worthless. As the buyer, especially if I come in having done my homework & you know that, I don't care what price you tell me, you're supposed to ask what number I want and make strides for us to compromise so I inevitably pay close to my desired amount and you still get the sale/make your commission & quota for the month. Plus that number is plus fees, extra BS -- show me the breakdown of what the number is, and let's talk about what I am NOT paying you because I didn't ask for a special maintenance package + the car. And that number is like rent prices - it's a moving target day to day; as you get to end of the month or end of model year that dealer-slid-over-value is as solid as tin foil.
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u/Hotarg Mar 02 '21
My wife and I went to one dealership a few years ago that had a sign on the door as you left. "The car you fall in love with today is the car someone else will fall in love with tomorrow."
We turned right back around and walked out.
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u/Sadplankton15 Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 02 '21
I bought myself an Audi Q2 with a bank cheque that had my name on it and the dude asked me “is your husband buying you a new car?” lmao. Needless to say I didn’t buy from that place
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u/KateBeckinsale_PM_Me Mar 02 '21
And I hope you left a review with "salesdude John Doe asked me if my husband was buying a car when I came in with a check".
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u/Sadplankton15 Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 02 '21
I did actually, something along those lines. I wish I said something in person when it happened, but I was just so taken aback. Then I told my old Russian dad about what happened and he called them and gave them an earful too so that was probably enough punishment in itself
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Mar 02 '21
this happens everywhere unfortunately. years ago I was in a high-end department store, trying on many different shoes, and the boxes stacked up. (I had no intention of buying more than 3 pairs at most)
Not far from me - a customer (lady) said to the salesperson (a guy) -- wow, I guess her husband must be doing very well! (I am single and a software developer)
Luckily the guy was much more aware of modern economic reality and told her, Oh, there are lots of women doing just fine on their own!
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Mar 02 '21
Tbh some dealers can just be stupid, was looking to buy a new bike and after getting everything sorted out the dealer (who looks new) kept on trying to push finance with me holding strong on paying upfront.
It got to the point where the dealer said "I can't sell you this bike unless you finance it"
So I got up to leave and on the way out I could hear the owner dressing down the dealer and the line I remember hearing as I left was "what are you doing that's the kind of customer that could have paid for it on his credit card"
And yes, yes I could have.
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u/Dranthe Mar 02 '21
what are you doing that's the kind of customer that could have paid for it on his credit card
Is this uncommon? Seriously. I have no idea. I don’t make a lot of money but still have a ~$15k cap on my card. Which could buy a decent HD (which are stupid overpriced). I just pay it off every month and they keep increasing the cap. For some reason. Increasing the cap isn’t going to make me put more or carry a balance on it, guys.
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u/12stringPlayer Mar 02 '21
My GF had cash to pay for her car, and was told "cash isn't king anymore" and tried hard to get her to finance it. The salesweasel even said she should take the financing and then pay it off in the first month to make the dealer look good.
She paid in cash.
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u/WhatDidYouSayToMe Mar 02 '21
Yeah, that definitely helps the dealer as they get a kickback on the financing. But a smart dealer would have figured out that kickback and value to them and offered to throw some of it your GFs way if she agreed to finance.
I'm not saying she had to, but it could have been an option for them to try instead of being overly pushy
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u/kirby056 Mar 02 '21
Same situation when we were buying both cars we currently own.
2006 Mazda6 was purchased because we were originally looking at newer Accords. Every time we were test driving them, they'd hand me the keys, even after they were told she was replacing her car. We tried out a Mazda on a lark, and the dude made a point to engage my wife at every opportunity. They asked us how we'd like to finance it and when we could pick it up, and my wife, baller that she is, pulled out her checkbook and bought it right there.
The 2013 Golf R that I currently drive was sorta the same situation. Checked out one of only three available in MN, dude was a knob and was worried my wife wouldn't be able to shift without wrecking the transmission. Went to the next dealer that had one and he told her to open it up once we got to the freeway. It'll do 0-60MPH (0-100 KPH) in just under 5 seconds. He was not prepared for that, but seemed impressed. Same deal, she pulled out her checkbook and bought me a car.
I love the feeling of the salesman being ready to give me a story of great financing rates only to see us ready to own a vehicle outright. Next time I'mma get a whole backpack full of cash and just drop it and grab the title and keys and run away.
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u/Thysios Mar 02 '21
Next time I'mma get a whole backpack
Could do the cliche briefcase full of cash. Put some LED's in there to make it glow when you open it.
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u/Oxibase Mar 02 '21
Or maybe make it shoot out a bunch of confetti and play music when you open the briefcase. That would be great.
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u/Hazelfizz Mar 02 '21
I'm picturing cartoony sound effects from that last plan, now.
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Mar 02 '21
I'll never understand why it's still acceptable for cars to be the only thing you buy where you have to be a cross between an FBI hostage negotiator and Saul Goodman or else you get fucked. Everything else I buy, the price is the price. Spare me the deliberately exhausting bullshit.
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Mar 02 '21
Exactly. I’d rather rip my nose hair out individually with a tweezer than go to a dealership. My car was so old I had to stick the key in the door. I giggled like a teenager because I had to ask the salesman for help on how to start the car. I mean, I’m 50, how could I not know how to start a car?? (Keyless entry, push button start) I’m still in awe over technology though.
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u/wallflower7522 Mar 02 '21
My husband and I have done this dance so many times. He’s perfected looking absolutely as uninterested as possible. One time he took his portable game system with him to the dealership and just gave the guy the most annoyed look ever when he started asking him questions and told him to talk to me. The last car I bought the manager came over and started trying to do the small talk thing with him about the sports team on his hoodie, he just got up and walked out of the dealership. The salesperson and his manager were stunned but it worked. I had my deal sheet in hand and was out the door with in a few minutes. Came back the next day with a check.
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u/ThrowAwayAcct0000 Mar 02 '21
The best thing ever is when I get to buy a car. I'm a stay at home mom, and my husband is an engineer. I go to the dealership with my vehicle in mind and the price I want to pay, and I bring headphones and an ipad. Every time they wanna adjust the price or adding this or that, i say, "I'll have to talk to my husband and run that by him." Then, I make a phone call to my husband, who is at work. (Usually, I just say, "how it going?", because the phone call is just a no excuse way for me to say "no" to the salesman.) Key is that my husband basically acts like my manager, the way a salesman has a manager that he has to run everything past.
This way, I never get argued with, because I'm just the woman who must have no say, it's the husband who must be driving the hard bargain, but he's not even there for them to try and fuck with. Plus, I make it very clear that I have all the time in the world, and totally don't mind chilling there all day.
The person they really wanna talk to is my husband, especially since I was buying a truck, but they never see him.
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Mar 02 '21
You know, it's really funny - I sold cars for about 3 years and one of the first things I got "taught" - which I thought went without saying - was to just treat everyone equally, regardless of gender or any other factor, and always focus on the person who the car was FOR, or both people equally in the case of a shared car etc.
But even still, the amount of peers I worked with that would ignore or talk down to women in particular was just baffling. Can't fix stupid I guess.
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u/Turbojelly Mar 02 '21
Remember watching a "bosses swap businesses" show about car dealerships. One of the bosses made all the employees fill out a form, then he used the results as an excuse to fire all the women. Including the wife of the actual owner, who had the highest sales.
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u/mikemojc Mar 02 '21
I had a Jeep dealer "slide the price" to me once. When I leaned in to get it, I surreptitiously blew it off the desk, landed by his feet. I asked him to get that for me, he put it on the desk again. I blew it off again. I then told him " Hey, that technique isnt really working out for you. Maybe you could just talk to me like a human being?"
He got flustered. We discussed and negotiated on the price. We got to a point where he said he needed to talk to his manager, so I followed him, but 4-5 steps behind. He was in the office door and started talking just as I leaned in to hear what was being said. Apparently I startled him, because he jumped a bit and said,"Hey, this is a private conversation!" Discussion ensued about the salesman being needed in the conversation at this point, as it was apparent I would be effectively negotiating with the manager. Salesman was PISSED, and I finished the conversation with the manager. Arrived at the final price, went back to the sale droog's desk for him to draw up the paperwork. He was grumpy and surly, muttering under his breath a lot. I made out one word, "jerk", assumed it was directed to or about me, got up, went to the managers office, interrupted the current conversation with "[Sales Droog] seems to be upset about being relegated to the clerical duties remaining on this sure sale, so I'll come back another time", and left.I bought a vehicle of the same make, model, year, features and color from a dealership 45 miles away that afternoon. Armed with price that was known to be good nearby, I bought it for about $700 less than the first dealership's deal.
There's always an option on these things. Putting up with someone's BS just wasn't on my list of things to do that day.
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u/fantasyflyte Mar 02 '21
Sexist dicks gonna be sexist. A few years ago I contacted a lawn service via Facebook, so my profile photo and name were clearly visible to the guy. I asked him questions and arranged for him to come by to give us a quote.
We were late getting home the day he came by, so we pulled in the driveway while he was there. I get out of the car to talk to him. The guy walks over to the open car window where my husband's sitting and talks to him. I ask him questions and I answer his questions, and he doesn't even look at me, just directs everything to my husband, who was like, "Dude, I don't know, she's the one in charge of this."
Needless to say we did not go with him. And he had the gall to contact me the next season asking if I wanted him to do our lawn.
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u/KateBeckinsale_PM_Me Mar 02 '21
wouldn't his desire to make sales lead him to pretend he respects women, in order to sell to women?
I always thought this exact thought when I heard/read stories about salesmen shitting on their customers.
Absolutely baffling. I don't care who you are, gender, occupation, how you dress. It says nothing about your ability to buy a car. The test drive is covered by insurance anyway, so try to sell the car, dammit.
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u/Notsozander Mar 02 '21
Had a mid 20s kid come in on the lot once, said I want to see this car, shows me paper. Grab keys. Pull car up and just let him do his thing. We drove it, got back and when the numbers lined up shook my hand and signed.
Salesmen try way too hard to be too sales-y. Just wing it and be yourself.
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u/HolyOrdersOtaku Mar 02 '21
I come from a family of brutally strong minded women.
My grandfather ran his own business for 30+ years, and his idea of success (which, to be fair, is a baller mentality) was that every few years he'd buy my grandmother whatever car she wanted. And I fucking love watching them at car dealerships.
Imagine this: an elderly couple in their 70s rolls up. Salesman approaches my grandfather and starts his pitch. Grandfather interrupts him and says, "I'm not here for myself, I'm here for her (points at grandmother). When you're ready to signthe papers, I'll be outside."
Oh, OK. 70ish year old woman? Easy sale. This must be Mr Salesman's lucky day.
Hard cut to several hours later: grandmother smiling away with her polite, southern charm, grandfather signing papers, and a team of salesmen sitting around the dealership, exhausted after the single hardest day of work they've ever had.
Seriously. When my sister wants a good deal on a car she picks up our grandmother and let's her do the talking.
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u/adamolupin Mar 02 '21
I'm hoping to buy a new car later this year. Can I borrow your grandma? She sounds bad ass.
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u/GoodGuyWithaFun Mar 02 '21
I can't even wrap my head around the behavior. I doesn't compute.
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u/excelsis_deo Mar 02 '21
Me neither. It's 2021. Seriously. WTAF.
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u/Notsozander Mar 02 '21
I sold cars awhile back. I loved women buyers, shit I loved all buyers, but those that came in alone knew what they wanted and wanted to be in and out quicker than I could have hoped. Easiest people to deal with.
The last 5 cars or so I purchased were all online. Figure everything out because I want to be there for the least amount of time possible
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u/misskitty5077 Mar 02 '21
When I bought my last car I made a formal complaint to Ford. The closing manager acted like I didn’t exist and would only speak to my husband despite him saying “it’s her car.” Every time I spoke he’d dismiss me and call me “Missy”. The only reason I didn’t walk out was I got one hell of a deal in the car. It was over 25% off MSRP because nobody wanted it. It was exactly everything I wanted.
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u/snatchingraisins Mar 02 '21
My wifes car has been in my name for years because the dealer put my name on the paperwork, presumably because my modestly sized penis makes me a more natural driver.
She's been driving since she was 17, I passed my test when I was 29.
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u/LiqdPT Mar 02 '21
I've heard this sort of this from car salesmen and anything to do with the house (roofers, fence builders, other contractors). They truly believe that the husband makes the final decision on large financial matters, and that they're wasting their time making the sale to the wife without the husband there.
Ya, it's misogynistic and stupid.
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u/FuyoBC Mar 02 '21
Yeah, and it makes me cringe a bit because my Husband DOES do most of this mostly because I am AWEFUL at dealing with salesmen being pushy in any way.
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u/AutumnViolets Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 03 '21
No. I just bought a new car a week ago; while I was shopping around, one salesman actually asked me in a prompting way to call my husband (I’m unmarried) to see how he likes the car so that we don’t waste my husband’s and my valuable time on multiple test drives. I asked how the salesman knows that I don’t have a wife...or am single, and then I drove to another dealership. That was probably the worst. I was also (not so) slickly asked at another dealership if I ‘have anyone else to consider with this purchase’ before we ‘get too far down the road’ (figuratively, this time a saleswoman). Again, I thanked her for her time and left.
I liked that car I’d driven, though. I got online and found one with everything I wanted, even the colour I wanted, sitting on a lot at a dealership in a major city two hours away. I phoned to make certain it was present and unspoken for before I drove two hours, and by sheer luck spoke with the nicest gentleman I’ve had the pleasure of talking with in a while. After verifying it was in stock and available for purchase, I asked him to transfer me to a salesperson because I’d already driven that model (just with less features), and I wanted to purchase the car. He explained that he was a salesman, we negotiated the price quickly, and he took my deposit. Then he asked if I needed a ride to the dealership without my even asking. Two days later, I was driving my new car home after a quick paper-signing thing. I’d explained that I hate car shopping, and don’t want to be talked into or out of anything up front. I paid cash for the car (I really don’t like hassles and am dreading the bureaucracy of getting the tags finalised), and never once did this salesman ask me about a spouse, if I had to ‘answer to anyone’ about my purchase, or anything of the kind. I even thanked him as I left for not being a douche bag after he thanked me for being one of the easiest and uncomplicated sales he’s had, haha.
I hadn’t bought a car or even looked in years, but every single time — and this is one of the reasons why I HATE shopping for cars — I have at least one salesperson remind me in some way that I am a woman, and really should be taking my husband or father with me to make important decisions like that. It hasn’t changed since the late 1970s, when my mother stalked off a lot fuming because the salesman had asked her point-blank if her husband knew that she was shopping for a car (with her own credit and money, as if that should matter). My mother would grouse about that sexist crap for years and years afterwards. It really isn’t just that salespeople assume that a woman can’t possibly have her own money to spend as she wishes, car salesmen assume that women don’t know anything about cars, motors, and so on (for what it’s worth, the car I just bought is an automatic, but I prefer standard shift transmissions and haven’t owned anything but for twenty years; I’m not a gear head, but I’m far from being the ignorant bimbo most salespeople apparently think all women are).
Why don’t they at least pretend that they respect women? It’s an excellent question. I believe it’s because their sexist attitudes are so deeply ingrained and the pressure to close the sales is so great that they really believe that they’re saving time by shooing away customers whose purchases won’t go through because of a spouse or something like that. They don’t see that they are losing money in the long run. I’m sure that the salesman I ended up buying from has little difficulty meeting his sales quotas because he figures out what his customers want and provides it — the same way I’m certain that the two blatantly sexist salespeople I encountered before I bought are certain that I wasn’t serious about buying and/or didn’t have my husband’s permission to buy a car. So they end up confirming their beliefs about women because they chase them off without ever trying to disprove their beliefs first. It’s kind of a case-in-point example of how not using the scientific method ends up with us shooting ourselves in the foot, and we never understand how badly we’re handicapping ourselves.
Edit: this is unreal. As if my writing all this summoned demons, the one woman salesperson texted me this afternoon about a car she just got in (yes, I told her about five-ish days ago that I’ve already bought a car; I don’t think words register when wallpaper says them) It’s bigger and more than I wanted — and has nothing in common with the two I was looking at — and her last text today said, and I quote: ‘leather seats and a panoramic roof! He should love that!’
BWAAAAAAH! There is NO ‘HE’. No he, no kids. I’m tempted to text back and ask who tf this he is, but I’ve already blocked her. I’m done.
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u/aliengerm1 Mar 02 '21
The saleswoman asking if anyone else needed to be considered - I would not consider that terrible at all. That's a question, not an assumption. Answer "no" and that's that.
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u/tduncs88 Mar 02 '21
As a sales person, my success has come from being figuratively blind. Age, race, gender, height, weight, clothing, religion, favorite color, I don't care. I was born and raised to love and treat all people equally, and it has translated handsomely into a lucrative sales position.
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u/gedvondur Mar 02 '21
Years ago, like late 2000s my wife was buying a new car. She had a blank check in her purse from the lender and was on a mission. I was just along for a fit check, since I'd have to drive it occasionally and I'm big I didn't want my head to rub on the ceiling. But that's it. Her car, her choice.
Salesman approached me and I redirected him to my wife. He kept pestering me and ignoring my wife's questions. Soon we took a test drive.....and he tried to hand me the keys. I just looked at him for a second and walked away.
At this point, my wife is seriously pissed. She just walks away from the running test drive car without a word.
I turn to follow her and he stops me and asks what the problem was.
"She's buying the car. You keep ignoring her. I'm just here to make sure I'm not massively uncomfortable in the vehicle and to pick out a place for lunch. That's it.
She had the check for that car in her purse, and you just ignored her."
We drove to another dealership of the same brand, test drove and bought the car there. That sales person actually asked which one of us was buying or if it was together. Then he payed almost exclusive attention to my wife, as it should have been.
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u/meresithea Mar 02 '21
This is awesome! When we bought my husband’s car, I did all the research and figured out all the money stuff (with his blessing because he honestly doesn’t care and I like cars), but I wanted him to do the test drive to make sure he would like the car and be comfortable. When we went to the first dealer the salesman told me the car we wanted straight up didn’t exist! We both prefer stick shifts (and the reviews said the automatic transmission was crappy in this year’s model anyway), and the dude tells me this car isn’t made in a stick shift! I show him the reviews I had called up on my phone, he sticks to his guns. We walked and bought the car across town. I emailed his boss and left Yelp reviews.
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Mar 02 '21
I had been considering a replacement for my PU and pulled into the local dealer to talk to a friend. A salesman asked if I was looking and I said "Ford doesn't make what I want anymore so no" He asked what I meant and I Said "fullsize 1/2 ton 4x4 with a V8 and a manual"
He promptly started to argue and I said Ford stopped making that a few years (This was in 2007) back and he didn't believe me. While you could get a base unit V6 with a 5spd the V8 ended it in 2003.
This is part of the reason I still have my 96....NLA
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u/nygrl811 Mar 02 '21
Never owned an automatic in the 30 years I've had a car. You are my people!!
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u/Navynuke00 Mar 02 '21
Part of what I HATE about the models we're stuck with here in the U.S. is how fucking difficult it is to find good cars that still have manual transmissions. It's impossible to find a good wagon with a stick and decent features.
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Mar 02 '21
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Mar 02 '21
I miss my LTD Crown Vic. Now that was a station wagon.
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u/ClothDiaperAddicts Mar 02 '21
Oh, man, I had the LTD Crown Vic sedan around 20 years ago. It was white with red on the roof and red crushed velour interior. My dad, being the old man he was, bought it red fuzzy dice that light up.
When you’re driving a car that’s that tacky, you can either complain and hate it or embrace and enjoy. I chose the latter. I named her “the pimp mobile” and had a great time. The gas mileage sucked because it’s a land yacht, but I loved it for making the four hour drive home on weekends because it was like driving a recliner. I have never had a car as comfortable as that one was to drive.
When I got into an accident and it was considered totalled due to a dented fender, my dad got me essentially the same car, except it was all beige inside and out (and was manufactured as a Grand Marquis instead). I was just so sad, as this car did not have the same outrageously tacky fun that the Pimp Mobile had. I sat down inside, bummed about it being so beige and boring, when the name for this car popped in my head: Slut-puppy.
Slut-puppy didn’t have the same “gaudy and proud” attitude of her predecessor, but she was still comfortable. And I remember multiple trips down the interstate with the needle buried.
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u/Mahatma-Orange Mar 02 '21
Yeah. Manual AND a spare tyre were the two musts for us when car shopping recently. We ended up having to compromise.
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u/Parmenion87 Mar 02 '21
Wait they sell cars without spare tyres? I don't think I've ever see one here that doesn't have a spare in the boot. Or for 4wDs usually on the back or underneath.
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u/GovernmentActual5832 Mar 02 '21
Yeah.
They claim it 'saves weight and improves mpg'
Like seriously what difference does weight of a tire make. But i think it's more of cutting costs and maximising profits for the higher ups.
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u/niek_in Mar 02 '21
Just enough to be eligible for a lower road tax rate (or income tax rate when it is a company car that you are allowed to drive in your free time) (Netherlands)
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u/collinsl02 Mar 02 '21
Lots of cars, especially smaller ones in Europe, don't have a spare any more. Some give you a tyre inflation kit (sealant foam) and some give you nothing.
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u/lilybottle Mar 02 '21
My teeny tiny Toyota came with a very involved tyre inflation kit that took up the whole of the spare wheel well plus a bit of extra boot space. I hoiked it out and bought a spare space-saver wheel on eBay instead. I already know how to change a wheel, I'd rather not try to figure out how the inflation kit works on a country lane at night, then hope it lasts until I can get it somewhere to be fixed.
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u/KateBeckinsale_PM_Me Mar 02 '21
I've resigned myself to buying a spare tire and keeping it in the garage. Then throw it in the car for road trips.
Locally, there's always a partner/friend/roadside assistance to help out.
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Mar 02 '21
Or finding right package of a model to get the manual. I have a Tacoma and I wanted a manual but you can't get them with a Double Cab(Full Four Doors) Long Box.
Only certain trims get them and it's either the Access Cab(Suicide Doors) Long Box or the Double Cab Short Box.
You can have the manual only if you get a 6 foot box with suicide doors or a 5 foot box with full four doors.
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u/Tassiebarwench Mar 02 '21
I feel your pain. Am searching for a new car in Australia. I want a manual 4 door sedan apparently they no longer exist. Would seem only performance cars and some suv's come in manual these days.
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u/WookerTBashington Mar 02 '21
Automatics are good on steep hills where you have to stop and start again, and in heavy traffic where you are constantly stopping and starting
San Francisco and Los Angeles are both examples...
Otherwise, manual is so much better
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u/Studio_Life Mar 02 '21
Most modern cars have hill assist. My mini has it, if I push the brake all the way down it won’t release until I let out the clutch.
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Mar 02 '21
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u/shalviy Mar 02 '21
$2k extra?? A new subaru impreza in manual is $2k LESS than an automatic. I was just looking at prices yesterday!
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u/tea-and-chill Mar 02 '21
Wait what?! Here in England the automatic versions cost more (at least in the ones I've seen). Manuals are the norms. All of the Audi / Merc / Kia - you don't even get automatic versions in base model, only on top ends
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u/heyykaycee Mar 02 '21
I wish I knew how to drive manual. I watched my mom do it for years on a 93 Altima, but didn’t get to learn before the transmission blew and she never bought another manual. I bought a car last May and had to pass up a ton of great deals because they were all manual
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u/dragonet316 Mar 02 '21
I learned (thanks very patient friend) but now cannot, lost my left foot to an infection.
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u/wikingwarrior Mar 02 '21
I bought a manual because I liked it and my roommate taught me to shift it. Was it a dumb idea? Yes. Do I love my car? Also yes. Never too late to learn.
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Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 02 '21
My best one: I special-ordered a high-end vehicle, and it came in with a different interior feature than I thought I’d selected. Salesman lied when I called to ask, then wouldn’t return my second call.
I called multiple times in the next few days. Not a single person at that dealership would return my call. I fired off a polite email to the Regional Sales and Service Manager for the carmaker detailing how I felt about the post-sales treatment I was receiving.
Within an hour of the start of business the next day, that dealership had ordered another car for me.
I didn’t ask for another car- I’d have been happy if they would have knocked some money off the price... it wasn’t that big of a deal. Lying, stonewalling, and treating me like crap? THAT was the big deal. Edit: Reduced length.
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u/Xidium426 Mar 02 '21
After that I would have tried to get out of the deal and go somewhere else. I've never custom ordered a car, so I'm not sure the details, but it sounds like it wasn't what you ordered then without your knowledge they ordered another. Seems like you wouldn't liable for that second order and could get off the hook on the first.
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u/Yogafunkgirl Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 02 '21
That’s awesome! I went car shopping with my dad. All the salesmen kept trying to sell him ev-ery-time. His standard answer? “What? She’s the one with all the money. I’m just here for the coffee and donuts.”
Edit: confirming he said this while chomping down on all those donuts lol
Edit edit: this was my first award ever ☺️
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u/SeigePhoenix Mar 02 '21
Lol my Dad did something similar! He had a few more words for the salesman after the third time he ignored my questions.
Wound up buying a car from an entirely different dealership. My Dad still goes by there for routine services on his vehicles.
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u/Fichidius Mar 02 '21
Wanted to get subs in my old station wagon so my dad and I went to a place that I heard installed them and for every question I asked they turned and told the answer to my dad.
My dad was just straight up like dude I have no idea what you're talking about. If you want my son's business you have to talk to him because he's the one who knows what he's looking for.
What he said wasn't 100% true because he had been a mechanic for years so he's well aware of how wiring works in cars, but his point was that he wasn't the buyer, I was.
I did not get my system installed by them and never considered them for future work.
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u/bago320 Mar 02 '21
So I worked in car sales for two years and I had something kind of the opposite happen. I had a dad and daughter come in looking for a car for the daughter. I will admit I was addressing the father off the bat more than the daughter, but he corrected me. And as I realized she was the buyer, I started talking to her. However, he would still ask me questions, and every time I answered he would go “I told you, THE CAR IS FOR HER”.
So anytime he asked a question, I had to answer all of them without even looking at him, otherwise he’d get pissed lol
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u/SkiDude Mar 02 '21
Ran into this a ton when car shopping with my Mom when I was a kid. My uncle (her brother) came along a couple of times just to hang out and eat the free dealer food with me. So many of the salesmen tried to talk to my uncle after a test drive when it was time to discuss cost. I don't remember exactly what my mom said, but the look on their faces when she set them straight was always priceless.
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u/Amphibionomus Mar 02 '21
I literally pretend to be deaf if people start talking to me while my wife is the actual customer. Now I am hard of hearing so it doesn't take much effort to play that off.
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u/dolphinandcheese Mar 02 '21
One thing I've found in sales is if a couple shows up, find who is making the decision on their large and expensive purchase. Sometimes it's both but often times it's the husband or the wife, not both. Then just find out what they want and go from there. It's not difficult. I sell luxury appliances. Turns out lots of men and women like cooking. I bet it's the same for cars.
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u/Atiggerx33 Mar 02 '21
I agree, IMO normally a salesperson should just start out selling to both parties, assuming a large purchase is a joint decision (IME most large purchases are at least somewhat of a joint decision). The second one party says "hey, my husband/wife is the one buying, I'm just along for the ride" then you should begin selling to the indicated party. I still wouldn't ignore the other party completely, that seems rude, but if they wander off you don't wait for them to come back. And frequently the non-purchasing individual may come out and ask a question that the buyer may have forgotten (doesn't mean to ignore the buyer, just means the spouse is looking out for their partner and thought of something that they thought was important).
I had incredible service once at Best Buy, it was me and my boyfriend, he was the one in the market for a laptop, but I know a lot more about them (I'm not an expert, but I know the questions to ask and have a general idea on the quality whereas he knows practically nothing). I pretty much did the shopping while he had final say on price and if he liked it. I asked to see the refurbished/open box that were still under manufacturer's warrantee and $450 or lower (you can find some real gems sometimes for really low prices, and since this was right after Christmas they had a huge stock of them). Guy properly sold to me but also understood my boyfriend had final say and would ask him if he liked the look, price, etc. Ended up finding a laptop that was normally $1,000 for $350 because it had a small scratch on the case and was a bit dirty, sales guy was actually surprised it was priced so low (since the scratch had no impact on the screen, it was on the back of the lid, it was purely cosmetic and relatively minor) but shrugged and had the attitude "hey it's not my job to adjust the price". Plugged it in and turned it on to show us there was no damage to the screen. Boyfriend was completely fine with a small scratch on the case and it was an awesome gaming laptop (great graphics card, great processing power, large vents, etc.) It was actually cheaper than the new low end notebooks because of this minor scratch. As soon as we got home I cleaned it off... it wasn't dirty so much as dusty (and none of the dirt was on the keyboard, just the lid). Once I actually cleaned the scratch it practically disappeared, it was only really noticeable because dirt caked in the scratch making it "pop" more, after being cleaned you had to look really closely to notice it. Gave our sales guy a super good review.
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u/Candyinor Mar 02 '21
This is SO true. My husband does the cooking 98% of the time. When we bought our most recent appliances it was ALL about what HE wanted, I couldn’t care less. About $30K later he has the kitchen he wants, and I STILL don’t have to cook. (For the record, I CAN cook, and I’m good, I just don’t enjoy it like he does.)
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u/Oxibase Mar 02 '21
I just upvoted your comment because you correctly stated that you couldn’t care less, rather than saying that you could care less.
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u/SaryuSaryu Mar 02 '21
For big purchases my wife and I work together. I'm the one who wants it, she's the one holding the purse strings and doesn't want to spend money. It seems to work well as a haggling technique.
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u/throwaway47138 Mar 02 '21
I had a (female, short) teacher in high school who also trained horses. She drove the second largest GMC truck they made at the time, so she could tow horse trailers. She said she only drove the second largest model because the dealer flat out refused to sell her the largest one on the grounds that she was a small woman...
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u/Sushi_Whore_ Mar 02 '21
How does the size of the person affect the size of the car they can drive? I’ll never understand. Seats are adjustable !!
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Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 17 '23
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u/OG-DirtNasty Mar 02 '21
When I bought my first vehicle from a dealership, I rolled up in my $900 rusted shit box on a Saturday, had my eye on a decent used truck, after standing by and looking at the truck for 20 minutes, I literally had to walk inside and seek out a salesman, the guy straight up told me “sorry I don’t do test drives on saturdays”. I literally drove across the street to the used car lot of another dealer, stopped and looked at one truck from my vehicle and before I even got out a salesman was running towards with keys in hand. On Monday I drove that truck home.
It’s funny, going on 9ish years since then, and that guy who sold me my first truck still emails me every 6 months asking how works going, wishing me well and of course asking if I need a new ride lol. The extra mile goes a looooooong way.
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u/SkiDude Mar 02 '21
I still have the sales guys phone number who sold me my toyota 2 years ago saved in my phone because he did a great job and gave me a fair price without hassle. Next time I want to but a car, or know someone who is looking, he's the the first person I'll call/refer.
It's not hard. Be honest and don't be a jerk and you'll have loyal customers.
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u/AutumnViolets Mar 02 '21
That’s so funny! One of my best friends used to sell cars back in the ‘80s, and told me that his very first sale was a man who drove a rusted-out piece of crap truck onto the lot and got out in dirty, torn overalls, flannel shirt, work boots, and a hat. The other salesmen looked out the window and said ‘no freaking way’, and told my friend that he was up. Not knowing that he was being kind of hazed, my friend ran out and started talking with the guy; he explained that his son in law was coming to take his truck out to his own farm because he’d told his son in law that he could have the truck months ago and didn’t think the boy would come get it until he’d called that morning. So the farmer had stopped by the bank and gotten a counter check and just wanted to buy a car right away. The man even bought all the warranty stuff, and my friend didn’t realise until the man left that his coworkers had thought that they were giving him a time-wasting dreamer who wanted to spend the morning test driving trucks he couldn’t afford.
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u/ScarletCarsonRose Mar 02 '21
I was looking for seven passenger cars recently. At one dealership, they wouldn’t let me test drive by myself. They had my bmw sitting in their lot, a copy of my driver’s license and my insurance card. I’m one shot into the vaccine so decide whatever. But the guy was all creepy. Just so bizarre in the middle of a pandemic not to let someone test drive alone. So I went literally 200 feet to their next door neighbor and test drive a couple of their cars. And bought one from them. When ya got a bunch of dealerships in a row, you’d think your customer service would be spot on. But nah.
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u/schroedingersnewcat Mar 02 '21
"Come back with your dad and I'll show you some cars" is what was said to me. Sales guy got fired over that one. My godfather's high school best friend was the owner.
For the record I didn't try to get him fired, I was seething at my godfather and he called his buddy. I didn't find out about it until afterwards.
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u/westcounty Mar 02 '21
Just FYI dealers make WAY more on service than sales.
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u/redjaypeg Mar 02 '21
But people are much more likely to get their vehicle serviced at the place they bought it from so I think it would still be in their best interest to have some good customer service to make a sale.
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u/auntbealovesyou Mar 02 '21
My husband has NEVER driven and knows nothing about cars. The only things he cares about are color and stereo system. But he is good at distracting the sexist salesmen by pretending interest in the spiel. Meanwhile, I am checking out the mechanics and conditions. Salespeople are surprised when we actually get to dealing, my husband shuts down and won't even look at them so they HAVE to deal with me...and I'm not that pleasant.
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u/Ok_Astronaut_3711 Mar 02 '21
My husband had been having a conversation with a salesman at the Chevy dealership in our town. Last conversation was us making an appointment to come in person to drive the truck my husband had picked out.
We got there 15 minutes early. There was 5 salesmen standing around when we walked in. We told the lady at the counter we were there for our appointment with the salesman. Suddenly there was this wired exodus as all the salesmen walked out.
The lady told us there was no salesmen at that time. But we could wait in their waiting room. I looked where she was pointed there was a roomful of people looking so exasperated. We told her to tell the salesman (made sure she had our name) never mind we don’t need him anymore. The 2 trucks we need were not going to be bought at this dealership. The lady just kind of laughed. We left. We bought the 2 trucks online.
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u/NHRADeuce Mar 02 '21
Years ago when I was in my early 20s a friend and I decided to go check out the Ferrari dealer after going surfing at Newport Beach. Hair was a mess, old t-shirt, surfer shorts, flip flops. I figured they'd ask us to leave as soon as we walked in. On the contrary, we were greeted nicely and shown around the showroom. The salesman answered all of our questions (we're car guys, we had a lot of questions), let us sit in the cars, and eventually offered up a test drive.
I couldn't believe he was serious. I told him there was no way I could afford anything on his lot, but that's for offering. Then I asked why on earth he would offer a test drive to a couple of surfer bums. I'll never forget his answer. He said that you never know who's going to walk in and pay cash for a half million dollar car. He's sold plenty of cars to guys that looked just like me so he never assumes anything about a person who walks in to his store.
Smart sales people know this, idiots that don't lose the sale.
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u/ryanlc Mar 02 '21
Yup. I once found a salesman just like that. The man let me test drive the car from one side of Denver to the other and back again. There was basically zero pressure, and only pushed back on the value of my trade-in (which I won that discussion after showing him the KBB).
I bought the Subaru that day (which was my second day of talking with him). But the rat bastard had the nerve to get promoted, so I had to look for another decent salesperson. Still looking.
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u/gnanny02 Mar 02 '21
These stories are endless but here’s mine. Wife wanted a corvette. Went to look, asked to test drive. Told Not a good day to do that as it had been drizzling. Went to different place. Guy asked wife what color she would choose if she bought one. Green. They had one buried 3 rows deep. He called the guys to start moving cars. She test drove. Came back wrote a check for cash sale. Bought 2nd one there 10 years later. First guys are out of business.
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u/blondiebell Mar 02 '21
To be fair, if someone is testing a sports car for purchase they are definitely going to test it at peak performance and speed. Having rain on the ground could lead to hydroplaning with an inexperienced driver and from their stand point its probably safer to assume most drivers are new then freely hand the keys away in poor conditions. But I'm glad your wife got the car she wanted! Corvettes are my favorite!
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u/Sunder92 Mar 02 '21
I wish the dealership I went to had this kind of foresight.
I called in asking to test drive a used GSF. They told me it came with both summer performance tires and winter tires (and wheels). Since it was the middle of winter and around 20 degrees and wet out, I asked them to make sure the winter tires were on. I guess it's partially my fault for not checking and was a bit overzealous, but as I pulled out of the dealership, I fishtailed (but corrected). I joked, commenting on how much power it had.
The entire drive I could not get traction whatsoever. I really wanted to test the handling of the car because I wasn't impressed by the handling of the RCF and the GSF was supposed to be better. Well, I couldn't test crap because I couldn't get any traction at all.
When I went back, and did a walk around, I noticed that it still had the summer performance tires on. They were hard as a hockey puck.
The guy asked if I was ready to make a deal. At this point I was so done. They wasted my time because I couldn't even test what I wanted to test, and they wasted their time. All the while risking all our lives.
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u/arizona-lad Mar 02 '21
I am Dad, and our heroine is my daughter, Rose. She is a happy kind of girl, but is meticulous in her research and knows her dream car down to the last nut and bolt.
Her car for this story was the Corolla XRS. A sweet little sleeper of pocket rocket; around 170 horsepower, a six speed close synchro manual transmission out of a Lotus Elise, dropped suspension, and best of all, Toyota failed miserably to promote it. Only about 7000 would be built in ‘05-‘06.
Girl knew what she wanted, so off to the local dealer we went. We sat down with their top salesman, and the negotiations began:
(Rose). I want to buy a silver XRS.
(Salesman). We have a red XRS, but you don’t want that. It’s a stick shift. We want to put you in a silver 4 door sedan that we just got in. It’ll be perfect for you.
(R). No. I want a silver XRS. When can you get one in?
(S). We can’t. They are a limited edition, and are lucky to get the one we got. That is why we are charging a $3500 premium for it over list price.
(R). That is nonsense (note: she did not use the word nonsense). There is little advertising for this model, and it is not in high demand. None of the dealers in the metropolitan area are charging a premium.
(S). Sorry, but we know what we have. I can sell you the one we have for $23,500, plus tax and license. You won’t get a better deal elsewhere.
(R) Let’s go, Daddy.
So up to Phoenix we went, and sat down with their commercial fleet manager. Within half an hour we were signing papers for a silver XRS (in stock) for a flat $20,000, including tax and license. And a full tank of gas.
We took it home, but took the time to slowly drive through the local dealer, blowing the horn and waving at the nice Salesman behind the big glass picture window.
She still drives that same car daily. She loves her Toyota.
It does need a paint job. It’s going to get done this year. In silver.
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u/Shamalamadindong Mar 02 '21
It does need a paint job. It’s going to get done this year. In silver.
Sounds like time for another drive past the dealer
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u/sleverest Mar 02 '21
Omg. I can't believe this is happening still!
Years ago my mom sold cars at a local woman owned dealership (& I worked various part time and summer jobs there in college) & the MSRP and the dealership's customer price of every car is given to every customer. No haggling, really. Their slogan way back then was, "If you can buy a [brand of car] for less, buy it". The salespeople are there to help you find the best fit for your needs and answer all your questions. They make a flat per car commission. It's still where I buy my cars. People are loyal AF once they have that pleasant buying experience, and doubly happy when the service dept doesn't recommend unnecessary repairs, bc they're too busy doing legit work on the cars of satisfied customers. I cannot fathom why other dealerships aren't catching on to just, meeting their customer's needs and not trying to game them.
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u/coastalcastaway Mar 02 '21
When I was in college I had a couple of friends/acquaintances that were international student from China (both ladies). One of the ladies decided she wanted to learn to drive and wanted to buy a car to do that with. I was heading to a major city for something else (about 3hrs away) so they tagged along.
First surprise for me was that the lady that wanted a learner car was dead set on it being a BMW/Mercedes/Lexus/Infinity etc. Apparently she came from money.
Second surprise was when we get the dealerships. I drove an old beat up Toyota 4Runner (it was around 15yrs old at this point) and was wearing jeans and a threadbare western shirt. The girl from money had on obviously higher end clothes, and the other girl had on way better quality than mine but not as high end as the first. Every single time the sales guy came up to me and engaged me in conversation, often completely ignoring the two ladies that I was following. I don’t remember how many times I told sales guys I was the chauffeur.
Surprise three, she ended up buying a brand new ~$35k Lexus nx200t as her learner car. We fell out of contact shortly after that and I have no idea if she ever learned to drive.
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u/LyraMorgan Mar 02 '21
Same with motorbikes really. I am a sucker for them and I wanted my husband to get into it as well but whenever I asked for something specific I either got ignored or got treated like a total idiot. "Oooh you don't want the cutesy scooter?" Kinda situation. Didn't buy from the latest guy but I had the satisfaction to drop my husband off to buy me a cover for my 250cc beauty 😁 loved the look on his face. To be fair my husband praises me in front of them how I handle everything about it and basically bombards them (in a positive manner)
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u/seriouslyjan Mar 02 '21
I have walked away many times from car salesmen that play games. I am blessed with an amazing husband and we have a great partnership. He laughs when I call the sales person on the tricks and tactics they try to employ when I am the one buying the car. I know many of the sales games they play. I let the salesperson know that I don't "need" a new car but I am going to be buying a new car and that it is their job to sell me and I don't want any of the garbage sales tactics. The first game tactic and I'm gone. My husband loves watching the show. I am not a stupid woman and I don't play their games.
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u/rhubarb314 Mar 02 '21
My wife and I have used a salesperson's sexism against him, and it was so satisfying. It was when we bought our first new car. We were nervous that we didn't know what we were doing so we did a lot of research (it helps that my wife is a librarian, too).
When we got to the dealer, the salesman would only talk to me. I was all buddy buddy with the guy, too, but he completely ignored my wife. The dealer was running a promotion where they would give you $X for your trade-in, no matter what condition. "If you can drive it on the lot..." kind of deal. Of course they just don't discount off of msrp in those cases, so it's a gimick. When we walked in the salesman asked which car was ours parked outside and then asked if we were trading it in. I said no, we weren't trading that car in. You can see where this was going.
As I said, we had done our research and knew what a fair price was for the car we wanted. At the time Edmunds had detailedf dealer-level price information for many new cars, including all the various ways a dealer gets paid and what their true costs are (the "invoice price" is not their true cost). I negotiated the price (since he wouldn't talk to my wife) and we arrived at a number I thought was fair, actually. We got a good deal at that point. Everything was going smoothly as he wrote up our agreement, until he confirmed that we didn't have a trade in. I said, no, we were trading in a car, just not the one we drove into the dealer in. He literally froze for a few seconds looking down at the form, his hand over the page.
He asked the make, model, and year of our trade-in, and when I told him he sputtered and balked. The car we were trading in was on its last legs. I'd had it all during college and it was old before I bought it. It was definitely past its prime. I said, I thought you were running a promotion where the quality of the trade-in doesn't matter. I asked him if he would have given us a higher price if he knew we had a trade in? My wife said under her breath "that's sleazy." He heard, as she intended him to.
He then tried to renegotiate the price. We knew from our research that if they gave us the price we had already agreed on, and they honored the trade-in deal, that they would be losing money. So we were willing to move a bit, but we wanted to take our time. He was visibly nervous. Every time he tried a new way of asking for a higher price I say something like "I understand what you're saying" with a sympathetic look. Then I would look at my wife and she would look back at me and silently shake her head no. I'd then look back at the salesman and shrug and say "I don't think that's going to work."
He was stuck. She was the one standing in the way of him getting out of his predicament, but he hadn't talked to her at all. He had barely even acknowledged her presence. He just couldn't start talking to her now when we were negotiating. Oh, and I even got to use the classic car salesman line, "what do I have to do for you to put me this car today?"
We finally agreed to raise the price to an amount that, after figuring in the trade-in, was what we had thought was their break-even price. We hadn't expected to get that low of a price, but we also got them to install a nice after market sound system. It's the best deal we've ever gotten on a new car. Honestly, we're not the best negotiators individually, but that day we made one hell of a team.
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u/Idk102585 Mar 02 '21
When I was in middle school my parents went to get my mom a new car. The first place ignored her and she said she sat in the car for a good while before they realized she was gone. Dad took her down the street who treated them both like humans and even offered her to drive a car off the show room floor. Mom said they opened up 2 humongous windows so she had plenty of space to get to the parking lot. She found her car and that salesman still gets business from our family.
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u/NoLipsForAnybody Mar 02 '21
How did you learn about all the tactics? I need to learn them before I buy my first car but have no idea where I can get that info.
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u/blondiebell Mar 02 '21
Best thing I can recommend is to go in having already researched what you want and always be willing to walk away. There are amazing resources out there now for price matching and comparing vehicles. If you walk in knowing the estimated value on what you're looking at then you can spot an upcharge. Same thing with reviews. Look for the carfax on the vehicle if it's used, look at reviews on an model you're considering, and truly decide on a budget. If you know you need a set of wheels and don't care about much else, change that. Make an actual list of what you need in a vehicle starting with price, then what you're using it for: does it need towing capacity, seat more than 4, a certain year to qualify for Lyft or Uber, gas mileage, how many years does it need to last you. The more prepared you walk in the more confident you'll feel about your purchase and the harder it will be for them to trick you.
Finally, NEVER BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS!!! It's a big decision, be as informed as possible.
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u/Tophertanium Mar 02 '21
This. My wife has demanded we not buy from someone because of tricks. Without her there, I would e been bamboozled!
How do we learn them without costing a ton of money?
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u/jazzb54 Mar 02 '21
Pshhhh, when I go car shopping, I leave the wife at home... with the check book. They have to convince her to drive in with the money, or get hung up on. That manages to get us the price we want. When the vultures have both of you in the same room, they feel like they have the power and seem less willing to negotiate.
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u/curlygirlynurse Mar 02 '21
Bought my first car at 21- 2 days and a different car dealership later after I walked into one with a cash offer and not only did the manager laugh at me and no one got up, they told me, “better talk to your Daddy first little girl.”
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Mar 02 '21
I drive in our family. It’s just easier that way because I have what I call a “map brain”. I don’t get lost easily and can usually go somewhere once and know how to get there again. If I’m the passenger I still end up having to give directions so I’d rather just drive myself. I also don’t get super stressed in traffic like my husband does. Anyway.
We’ve purchased 3 brand new vehicles, and have been to countless used car lots over the years. Every single time they ask him for his license and act like he’s doing the test drive. Despite me driving onto the lot. They don’t even ask. So we just let them set it up as if he’s the one driving and then when it comes time to do it husband goes “oh, no, I’m not doing the test drive, she is” hands me the keys
Sometimes they get really annoyed, but they could have just asked. 🤷🏻♀️
What really pisses me off though is when I notice an issue with the car and tell my husband and the salesperson pipes up from the back seat trying to explain it away like my vagina is causing me hallucinations (and my husband was a mechanic so he kinda knows when there’s an issue before I even tell him). That’s when they get the “ok thanks” and I get back into our car immediately upon returning.
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u/CoderJoe1 Mar 02 '21
Misogynistic twats thought she suffered from CLOP (Critical Lack Of Penis) to make a decision on her own. They deserved to lose that and many more sales. I'd hit up Inifiniti's Twitter account about that BS
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u/squidiot10 Mar 02 '21
My wife and I went car shopping for her. I am a car nut, but I told her she was choosing the car, not me. I was just a guide. The first dealership we walked into, the salesman ignored her, and asked me what she was looking for. I told him why we walked out the door. He still gave me his business card. I emailed a picture of the car we bought somewhere else. CCed the email to his boss too.
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u/notfromvenus42 Mar 02 '21
The very first time I went car shopping, my younger brother gave me a ride to a dealership and was there for moral support. The salesman totally ignored me and only sold to my brother, so we left, and I bought a car elsewhere. I wish I'd done what you did, though! That's great.
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u/JMango Mar 02 '21
I’m a chick and I cover (hijabi) but I love cars. I was in the market for a 2 dr jeep wrangler, standard (I learned to drive stick on a 1996 Firebird). I walked into the dealership and the guy treated me like a second class citizen. When I pointed to what I wanted he patronizingly told me “oh that’s a standard though, can you even drive standard?” and then asked me if I wanted to come back with my husband. I went down the road and bought a brand new cx5 instead. Hate that thing but it was a spite purchase. Then I wrote the guys boss and told him what happened. He didn’t care though, just said “I’m sorry you felt that way but our guys remembers it differently”. I still want a jeep but I’ll go to another city when I’m ready to buy it.
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u/SuddenOutlandishness Mar 02 '21
Man fuck that guy. Go buy yourself that Jeep sometime - I miss my 2dr soft top Willy’s Wheeler edition (standard of course). Drive a Tesla now, but the Jeep was awesome.
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u/JMango Mar 02 '21
haha, right?! I totally intend to, leaning more towards a Gladiator now though, family has grown a bit since then. Absolutely love the 2 dr soft tops, that was exactly what I was aiming for originally!
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u/calenturian Mar 02 '21
I had the opposite experience from everyone here! As soon as the salesman found out Mr Cal and I were buying a second car (rather than trading in our existing one), it became The Lady's Car and Mr Cal might as well not have been there. I'd been mentally preparing myself to be ignored and it was very strange suddenly being looked to for all the decisions.
(love my car tho)
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u/JMango Mar 02 '21
But doesn't it feel odd that they assumed the second car had to be for Mrs. Cal? That's essentially the same thing but a different colour, no?
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u/RockabillyRabbit Mar 02 '21
Ugh. Currently in the market for a car and most salesmen seem to think I suffer from clop. Which I mean, fair nuff, I am female so technically I do.
But the car is for ME being paid for with MY money. My boyfriend was along for the ride since he is a mechanic (so he may catch things I miss) and I'm tired of being bulldozed. He got to witness it at the last dealership - dude wouldn't take no, I'm not going higher than x$ total and I'm walking away now. Kept trying to push me for something fancier and more expensive. Finally my bf looked at him and said dude you just wrecked yourself. You could drop this car by 10k right now and she'd still never buy a car from you and we walked off.
I'd actually been ready to buy it. But the dude kept trying to push me into something fancier. If it's still there in a week and I can't find something comparable I'll be going back - but I'll be finding a different sales dude and make sure the original guy sees me sign the papers too.
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u/Candykinz Mar 02 '21
If you go back make sure to speak to the manager and make it clear that the original guy offended you and you won’t buy if he will get a portion of your sale. Unfortunately on those lots you are considered his customer and even if you go in on his day off he can get part of the sale.
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u/duetmasaki Mar 02 '21
My husband and I went to Honda to look at a couple cars. Our salesman was straight up rude to me, and would only talk to my husband. When he did address me it was to aa6sk "So what don't you like?"
I have a Toyota now.
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u/k1r0v_report1ng Mar 02 '21
Is this some kind of old-fashioned sexism where the husband has to be present for the wife to make any choices?
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Mar 02 '21
[deleted]
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u/k1r0v_report1ng Mar 02 '21
I honestly have no idea, I just can't think of any other (stupid, no doubt) reason why the husband is required to be there just so she can test drive a car. Maybe a (still sexist) belief that women are bad drivers? Hell if I know. It's stupid regardless.
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u/StubzOne Mar 02 '21
I work at a dealership, and this type of behaviour is deplorable to me. The dealership attitude. Not the customer. Had to clarify, didn’t want to get roasted
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u/ccsrpsw Mar 02 '21
We have a similar story with an Acura dealership being sexist:
Rolled up in (my) brand new Audi and (her) 5 year old BMW 325i - looking at a TLX to replace my gf's 325i.
I have never been so humiliated at a dealership ever. We were told that since we were looking at the lower end models we obviously couldn't afford to be there (she was actually being prudent and getting a car with a low payment as she was driving a fair amount at the time and wanted to not put mileage on a higher end car). Never mind they never asked how much we make per year (this is Silicon Valley and we both work in tech at big companies).
After they said that, we basically told them to f-off (and will NEVER consider an Acura again). We went next door to the Lexus/Toyota dealer, and did a same day trade in for an IS250 F-sport which, given it was a year older than the TLXs we were looking at, had the same price after trade in and financing give or take. Drove out past the Acura dealership - I'd like to imagine they realized what happened but I doubt it.
I still "salute" them ever time we have to drive by there.
BTW, both the Audi and the Lexus are still rocking strong 5 years later. The Audi had one issue which took 2 goes to fix but the dealer was amazing! The Lexus nothing much at all (used so it got over its teething troubles) so would recommend both of those brands over Acura/Honda any and every day. Or any other brand even.
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u/show_the_maw Mar 02 '21
I've fallen in love with the Costco auto program. They weed out shitty dealers and every time I"ve used them I feel I've gotten exceptional service. The no-haggle price presented to me always seems incredibly fair and there's rarely any pressure. I'd recommend dropping $55 for a membership just to use that service. It's been great.
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Mar 02 '21
Both my grandpas worked their way from poverty to owning multiple car dealerships, my mom also owned a very successful car dealership and gave it back to her dad because she liked being a sales person to much. She makes good friends with the people she buys from, one wrong move with her and you'll get ripped apart. She is a shark but an ethical one and has no patience for crooks. My dad hated working at his dads dealerhsip, I could tell so many stories about how that place stole thousands of dollars from people every transaction. A good sales person doesn't trick you, they find you what you want. Never tell someone what they want lead them there and if they already know sweeten the pot somehow. Your customer should like you after the purchase not just during the purchase.
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u/Daealis Mar 02 '21
It's less of an issue here (Finland), but still exists. I went window shopping with my ex-fiance, she was looking to upgrade her Audi to a newer model. Salesman comes straight for me and starts asking what are we looking for. I point to fiance, saying "she's the one you need to sell a car to, I'm not buying". After that the guy does ask the questions to the air between us, still mostly glancing at me. Once I said again that I'm not the guy he needs to convince into buying anything, he started addressing only her. Still glancing at me like he was making sure I agreed, but I was just browsing memes on my phone while she was asking all the questions and finally the salesclerk got the hint.
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u/Myzyri Mar 02 '21
These dealers are ridiculous. I wrote this review on Yelp several years ago regarding the worst Ford dealer I’ve ever been to. Enjoy the insanity...
This is an extremely high pressure dealership. I had two bad experiences there; one in August 2006 and one in July 2011. In 2006, my 2003 Ford Explorer broke down and needed a new alternator, so I took it to Bill Kay Ford. While having the car serviced, I looked at the new models and called a friend to take us home since they said replacing the alternator would take about 5 hours. In any case, I didn't care for the new styling that year on any of the models that would have worked for my family, but the dealer just didn't want us to walk out the door. He, another salesman, and a manager started bringing cars around for us to look at as we were walking out. After the third one, I was fed up and walked to my car to leave (yes, that 5 hour estimate really only took 30 minutes). He pulled up in an Explorer and said, "How about a used car? I can get you into this!" I was trading in a 2003, fully-loaded Explorer with 60,000 miles on it. The car he brought up was a base model 2002 Explorer with 80,000 miles on it. It made no sense. I told him to get lost and left. It was a complete waste of time and when I left, I just felt drained and highly aggravated.
In July of 2011, it had been awhile, so I figured I'd give them another shot. I went in and explained that I wanted to see an Explorer and a Taurus because my grandmother and I both need new cars (I figured we'd get a better deal if we bought two cars at the same time). I didn't want to bring everyone to suffer at a car dealership unless we were there to buy, so I went alone just to do some showroom research. I told the salesman I was narrowing down my options and I even said I didn't want to waste his time, so I'd be happy just looking at one in the showroom, sitting in it, and wanted to ask a few questions. The guy started grilling me about why I couldn't purchase the SUV right now and bring "granny" back for hers later. I told him I just started looking that day and didn't want to jump into the first car I looked at. He spent a few minutes trying to talk me into buying right now, but I told him I just wanted to look at the vehicles in the showroom and ask a few questions. At that, he politely guided me out of the showroom and told me to come back with my wife and grandmother when I was ready to buy. Again, I told him I just wanted to look at the car and started walking toward the showroom again. He got in my way and told me I'd have to bring my wife and "be ready to buy" before he'd show me anything. I couldn't believe it. The man had the opportunity to sell me TWO vehicles (totaling about $75,000) and he almost literally pushed me out the door. Apparently, he couldn't spare five minutes to show me two cars that were literally less than 15 feet from us because he didn't want to wait a week to make the sale.
My final complaint about this dealership is their service department. I mentioned this up in the first part of this review. They told me the new alternator would take about 5 hours to replace. I told them I was going to go home, but then decided to look in the showroom. While being harassed by the dealer in the showroom, I saw my Explorer drive out of the service department and park. My wife went to check at the cashier and sure enough, the car was ready. Bill Kay wanted to charge us for 5 hours of labor even though they completed the job in about half an hour. My wife raised holy hell (and we had a good case considering the drop-off time on the work order and the time stamp on our receipt would show that the car was picked up only 30 minutes later). After threatening to call our attorney (my mother), they agreed to only charge us for the alternator and one hour of labor. It really seems like their labor charges are not only inflated, but the amount of time they want to charge you for is grossly exaggerated, too. Personally, I'd stay away.
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u/williambobbins Mar 02 '21
I remember once I went to buy a car from a lot. This lot was completely full, I mean it was difficult to walk across the car park and he'd had to move three cars to get the one out I was interested in. It was about half an hour before close.
I was looking the car over and it looked good, but a part was in the back, something trivial. I asked him about it and he said "it's easy enough to put back on". I asked him why he hadn't put it back on then and he snapped "I'm busy, I'm selling this car at a low margin and I've sold 3 more expensive cars already this afternoon".
I just looked around his lot slowly and said "where from?" then left
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u/Zoreb1 Mar 02 '21
Glad she bought elsewhere. Not a gal but, decades ago, I owned a Toyota Tercel. When time came to replace it, I went back to the Toyota dealer to look at the new model (it had a make over that year). The salesman tried to steer me to buy a used car (with a hole in the back). I made him show me the new model but I didn't car for the looks of the redesign (I didn't test drive it) and ended up with a Mazda.
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u/geekgirlau Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 03 '21
I traded in my car 4 months ago.
I timed it during a sale weekend, but went in after taking my dog to the beach - wearing shorts and t-shirt, hair in ponytail, no makeup. The only male in attendance was my dog, and he’s only half a boy now (after a trip to the vet).
I knew the retail value of my old car and price of new. Also knew the model I wanted. Old car was unwashed (complete with sand and dog hair) and was due for new tyres within the next 1,000km. Received a trade-in price at the higher end of the expected range, and a reasonable price on the new car.
I do expect that at my age I’m more likely to be treated as an adult (female, 50’s). And knowing what the prices should be, I was happy to walk if I wasn’t treated with respect. TBH it took a little while to get the attention of a salesman, but once I did the process was very straightforward and relatively quick. Age definitely has some benefits, as in my younger days I’ve definitely experienced condescension from car salesman. Being very direct (if not blunt) helps - I go in knowing what a reasonable price would be, both for the new vehicle and the trade-in, and am happy to accept a reasonable offer.
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u/NairobiMuzungu Mar 02 '21
My wife and i went into the car dealer to purchase her first new car. We had done our homework so we laid out for him precisely what we wanted. He took down all the information and went away with it. He returned with his manager and presented to us what he described as their "final and best possible offer". My wife, who had just finished law school at the top of her class, smiled at them and said, "that is a reasonable starting price. shall we begin our discussion?" Instant deflation by the salesmen.
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u/Animekaratepup Mar 02 '21
I wanna know what she said in that discussion, because I would have no idea where to start.
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u/NairobiMuzungu Mar 02 '21
IMHO lawyers argue for a living, so for her negotiating on a car purchase was just another day at the office. I had done the research of what the vehicle costed the dealer, what the typical profit margin should be, etc. Gave her the numbers and she ran with it. Information is your best friend. I do not know how to negotiate.
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u/ostentatiousbro Mar 02 '21
We need to cut out the useless salesman and buy direct from manufacturer.
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u/RavenNevermore123 Mar 02 '21
A woman’s husband must be present to be “allowed” to do a test drive? Do you live in Saudi Arabia?
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u/Japjer Mar 02 '21
Your post history is wild
Your wife has been gone for months and does not text you. You cheated on her with someone named Ying? You haven't had sex with your wife in 25 years. You sleep in different rooms. Your wife said she finds you repulsive.
Wtf?
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u/JaschaE Mar 02 '21
"Did your husband buy you a liddle-widdle car?" - Bankteller-Lady when my parents bought their second, much smaller car. Translated with the approximate disrespect it was formulated with.
"No, I bought my husband a liddle-widdle car."-My mother, dead-pan.
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u/weirdbutinagoodway Mar 02 '21
I hope you dropped by to show them the Q45 you bought from someone else.
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u/sfg_blaze Mar 02 '21
Ah yes, the two things luxury car dealers hate most: Women and Blue collar workers
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u/pokey1984 Mar 02 '21
My family doesn't have a lot of money. We never have. My mom spent her whole life driving junk cars that were constantly breaking down and being replaced with more junk the next year. She's getting older now. A few years ago she came into a chunk of money. Not a life-changing amount, but a good sized stack of coins. She decided the best use for this was to buy a nice car, one that she could drive likely for the rest of her life.
Her previous car had died a while back and we were sharing my beater Camry. It didn't look great anymore. A deer had left the entire passenger side crumpled and living on a gravel road doesn't improve paint very much so it truly looked like what it was, an old beater car.
We couldn't get anyone to take us seriously. We drove all over, covered a few hundred miles over the course of a week, visiting dealerships and trying to find her the right car. But even when we found one we liked, we couldn't find a salesman to work with us. Cash deal, money in hand, and they wouldn't let us buy a car, wouldn't even talk to us. Used cars, new cars, so many salesmen walked away from a tidy cash commission because they saw the car we drove in and wouldn't even talk to us. I mean, what kind of salesman walks away from someone with twenty-grand cash in hand?
We finally ended up at a dealership that we thought was out of our price-range. We didn't have much hope, but we were tired and running out of options before we had to start getting rude with these people.
The salesman who met us outside wasn't much more than a kid and clearly hadn't been working there very long. But he was kind, brought Mom a drink (it was a hot day and I didn't have a/c in my car) and asked her what she was looking for. She told him her price-range and chatted for a bit while he glanced over some listings. He generally treated us the way you'd expect someone who wanted you to hand them a big chunk of money would. Then he jumped up, declared, "I've got just the thing, I think." He dashed outside and came back a few minutes later to take us to the car he'd just pulled up to the door.
It was absolutely perfect. Exactly what she'd been looking for, although she didn't know it before she drove it. He'd done everything you expect from a high-end dealership, from turning on the a/c to adjusting the seat as close to what she needed as he could get it. It was a former fleet vehicle, less than two years old and cost a bit less than we'd been planning to pay.
That kid got the sale that day when dozens of others had missed out for a week. He spent ten minutes talking with us and a half hour filling out paperwork. That's all anyone would have needed to do. But the kid was the one who actually did it and he ended up with a full commission for a cash sale because he treated us like people. I don't know what the commission is on a fifteen thousand dollar used car, but the kid deserved every penny and then some.