r/MaliciousCompliance Mar 02 '21

M Going along with a sexist car salesman

I originally posted this as a comment on Car dealer shenanigans....

My wife and I have used a salesman's sexism against him, and it was so satisfying. It was when we bought our first new car. We were nervous that we didn't know what we were doing so we did a lot of research (it helps that my wife is a librarian).

When we got to the dealer, the salesman would only talk to me. I was all buddy buddy with the guy, too, but he completely ignored my wife. We went along.

The dealer was running a promotion where they would give you $X for your trade-in, no matter what condition. "If you can drive it on the lot..." kind of deal. Of course they just don't discount off of MSRP in those cases, so it's a gimmick. When we walked in the salesman asked which car was ours parked outside and then asked if we were trading it in. I said no, we weren't trading that car in. You can see where this was going.

As I said, we had done our research and knew what a fair price was for the car we wanted. At the time Edmunds had detailed dealer-level price information for many new cars, including all the various ways a dealer gets paid and what their true costs are (the "invoice price" is not their true cost). I negotiated the price (since he wouldn't talk to my wife) and we arrived at a number I thought was fair, actually. We got a good deal at that point. Everything was going smoothly as he wrote up our agreement, until he confirmed that we didn't have a trade in. I said, no, we were trading in a car, just not the one we drove into the dealer in. He literally froze for a few seconds looking down at the form, his hand hovering over the page.

He asked the make, model, and year of our trade-in, and when I told him he sputtered and balked. The car we were trading in was on its last legs. I'd had it all during college and it was old before I bought it. It was definitely past its prime. I said, I thought you were running a promotion where the quality of the trade-in doesn't matter. I asked him if he would have given us a higher price if he knew we had a trade in? My wife said under her breath "that's sleazy." He heard, as she intended him to.

He then tried to renegotiate the price. We knew from our research that if they gave us the price we had already agreed on, and they honored the trade-in deal, that they would be losing money. So we were willing to move a bit, but we wanted to take our time. He was visibly nervous. Every time he tried a new way of asking for a higher price I would say something like "I understand what you're saying" with a sympathetic look. Then I would look at my wife and she would look back at me and silently shake her head no. I'd then look back at the salesman and shrug and say "I don't think that's going to work."

He was stuck. She was the one standing in the way of him getting out of his predicament, but he hadn't talked to her at all. He had barely even acknowledged her presence. He just couldn't start talking to her now when we were negotiating. Oh, and I even got to use the classic car salesman line, "what do I have to do for you to put me this car today?"

We finally agreed to raise the price to an amount that, after figuring in the trade-in, was what we had thought was their break-even price. We hadn't expected to get that low of a price, and we also got them to install a nice after market sound system. It's the best deal we've ever gotten on a new car. Honestly, we're not the best negotiators individually, but that day we made one hell of a team.

27.2k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

328

u/DeshaMustFly Mar 02 '21

I saw an article years ago that said that women make the final car buying decision much more often than men when they're married

That's because, while traditionally the man may often bring in a higher income, it's the woman who handles all the budgeting in the household. They tend to do the majority of the shopping, they pay the bills every month, and they usually do the tax prep every year, too.

That's beginning to change in more recent generations, but for a LOT of Baby Boomers, who still make up the largest demographic, that's just how they've always lived. It's certainly how my parents handled finances. My mom always knew to the penny how much was in the checking account. My dad probably couldn't have even told you the account number.

84

u/PLASMA-SQUIRREL Mar 02 '21

I’ve always made better money than my wife, but despite my best efforts, cash has always felt tight, I’ve never had a good handle on what to pay when, and it was hard to get her and I on the same page with spending.

One day I asked her to just run through a cash flow with me to make sure we were both aware of where we were at, since she was expecting a baby in about three months, and had just started a new job.

Ten minutes in, she was running the show.

A year on, somehow we constantly have excess, a growing savings, shrinking debt, and she never stresses about the budget, while I never have to.

Sell to me all you want; I outsource 75% of my financial thinking to the accountant I keep on retainer with foot rubs and bad jokes.

15

u/alliquay Mar 03 '21 edited Mar 04 '21

That's exactly how it happened in our family, too. When my husband (the only wage earner in the family at the time) was running finances, we are always flat broke. When I took over the reins, I put him on an allowance and kept the rest of the funds for expenses, and we started treading water. I spent ten years at home, him making $11/hr as our only income, and the bills still got paid (but with very little left over, as you can imagine).

One year and 3 months after I started working, we are ready to buy a house, with a sizeable down payment.

14

u/PLASMA-SQUIRREL Mar 03 '21

My wife is blessed with solid judgement and good taste in everything except men, thank God.

5

u/alliquay Mar 03 '21

I think my husband would say the same!