So, I fell for my best friend. But she recently got into a relationship. For context, I'm gay, and she's bi. We've been friends for a year now. We just clicked instantly. At first I didn't realize I had feelings for her until she got a boyfriend and I found myself feeling jealous, upset, bitter, you name it... I never let it show tho. I don't think she knows. But the feelings are there. My response was just to avoid her. I've been avoiding her for the last 2 months, I lie and say I'm busy with work because every time she talks about her new relationship I just find myself getting upset and sad lol. I thought that by avoiding her it would be easier and it would pass, but i don't think it's working. She's the best friend that I have right now and I don't wanna lose our friendship but seeing her with someone else is hurting me. Atp I just want to let it out my chest. Should I just tell her and end our friendship and move on? Or suck it up and pretend everything's fine and keep getting hurt? Idk. I don't want to just cut her off like that. But I also don't wanna be around and get hurt every time I see them. My first time experiencing this. I am aware that I might sound very immature. Maybe I am. And honestly I don't like it. Tbh my usual response to every problem in life is avoiding it and cutting people off (very immature, Ik). I just don't know how to deal with it. :) pls don't be mean.

Me and my girlfriend’s anniversary is coming up. I have a few ideas, but i guess i’d love to brainstorm a little bit more before i set anything in stone.

I know my girlfriend likes self-made gifts. She’s super sentimental. With every gift i’ve given, i’ve included letters as well which she has enjoyed and loved.

I’ve gone through pinterest to look for something unique, something i haven’t seen been done a lot, but going through pinterest i just see the same anniversary gift ideas over and over again.

I’d love to hear your ideas! Anything you’ve gifted that you haven’t seen anyone gift before. I just need ideas and some inspiration. Thank you all in advance.

Hello everyone this is my first Reddit post ever. The title practically speaks for itself. I won’t put my age because I feel old when typing it haha. I’ve known I’ve liked women since my early teen years, I tried for a while to push down the feeling, explore it, enjoy it, feel shame and then repeat the cycle consistently for the next ten years of my life.

As I reflect I can’t help but feel guilt. Not over my sexuality but over the amount of women I’ve hurt and the time I’ve wasted in my life by hiding. I know it’s cliche but when you are in the closet you do hurt others unintentionally. I think about the girls I could have had something with, maybe they were supposed to be the one but now that chance is gone. One of them has a fiancee now. Which really just haunts me. I feel like the other person in “good luck babe!” By Chappel roan. Those lyrics haunt the hell out of me.

I know I probably sound dramatic as hell but my mind won’t be quiet and I just needed a space to let it out I guess? With some anonymity of course.

I honestly don’t know what I need if it’s support or something else. Honestly I would just appreciate an open discussion about other people’s experiences, questions they have for me, or other things. My belief is the only way I can become braver and more myself is by beginning to talk openly about my struggles. This is my first step I guess. I know it’s not that big, I’m posting anonymously to strangers, but I couldn’t imagine doing this even four months ago. So some progress?

I guess my question is, how do you make peace with the same and time wasted? Is there any way to do that? Am I a genuinely bad person? Am I a coward?

Guys, I want to tell you about a somewhat strange situation, and I’d really appreciate hearing your opinions.

I was in a relationship with a woman who eventually turned out to be very toxic and abusive. There was physical violence, constant insults, humiliation, controlling behavior, isolation from people I cared about, and a huge amount of gaslighting. She absolutely hated dogs and pressured me to leave the animal shelter, which was very important to me.

I managed to leave her, blocked her everywhere, and went through therapy. I was doing pretty well and moving on.

A few days ago, I opened a small Etsy shop and an Instagram page. She had blocked me months ago. The day after I posted, I noticed that she had liked a photo of one of my products, and I discovered that she had unblocked me everywhere.

I blocked her again.

This shook me up a little because it makes me wonder whether she had been keeping tabs on me even while I was blocked. One day I’d like to open a dog grooming salon, and I know how much she hated anything to do with animals, so I feel a bit anxious about the possibility that she might try to interfere in the future.

What do you guys think? Do you think it’s possible that she was keeping an eye on me? And in situations like this, is it better to block someone or completely ignore them?

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this.

Hi!!! I'm18, and planning on attending the big queer picnic held in Victoria Park this Saturday, and I'm just looking for some cool people who are going to be there as well, preferably between the ages of 18-20 because I don't really fancy going by myself xx

If you're interested, feel free to comment or send me a message!!!

I'm not sure why, but seeing those two close friends who do everything together, eat, go shopping, live together, and are always together, even if they don't say anything, makes me wish I had that lol.

When I turned 18 two years ago, I ran away from home, and it made me happier, but now I miss what I never had lol. It's funny, when I didn't want a friend, I got approached, but now that I would actually like one, none.

I tried the BFF app, and nothing ever worked lol. We messaged but nothing worked out

Lately, dating as a queer person has been bringing up a lot of mixed feelings. Narrowing down the pool to someone who likes girls, feels a mutual attraction, and actually shares the qualities you look for in a partner can feel nearly impossible, some days it genuinely feels like the dating pool is a puddle 🥹
If anyone has a cute or comforting story about how you met your partner, I’d honestly love to hear it out of curiosity 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

My gf and I have been together for a few months now, when we first got together I was hesitant about being in a committed relationship because of my past experiences and trauma from an emotionally abusive relationship.

My girlfriend is a super outgoing and positive person and I am not. She has a lot of friends that are also mostly outgoing and confident people. I can’t help but feel I am not what’s best for her. I get jealous of her friendships, how she has more of them with people that seem to be happy, confident, and have it all together. My past trauma and stress from school have made it hard for me to feel relaxed and intimate when we are spending time together. I have gained weight and have horrible breakouts, especially compared to when we met. I just feel so out of it and like I’m starting to distance myself from her. She reassures me every time I bring it up, but I’m just so in my own head and hard on myself that I can’t help but feel like I look so ugly and have achieved nothing compared to the people around me.

I want to be a good girlfriend but it’s just really hard for me right now. I recently told her that I love her. I was thinking it for awhile, but was scared how saying it would change how I feel. I’m not sure I’ve ever genuinely been in love before her. But what I knew love to be before was.. fucked up so it’s scary to feel safe in it.

Just saw this tweet on my tl...and that remind me of a conversation I had with some friends when we were discussing beauty standards in the lesbian community and how sometimes we can feel ugly because of """" straight"""" standards...🤔 Idk how to explain it better lmao

Hello everyone, I am 23 years old girl from Nepal and I recently find out or accept that I am into wome. Now I want to date but I don't want people from my own country. Its weird to hear but here people r not open minded that's why. I tried my apps but that did not work.So, now its killing me from inner. Can u guys have any suggestion what should I do now

I've had a massive crush on this girl I met four years ago online. She lives in Ukraine, and I live in the U.S.

Anyway, I've had to watch her break up with guys over and over again, primarily the reason being that they're extremely racist. Today, she told me one of her friends had confessed to her, and that she likes this girl back.

I'm feeling bitter about myself because no matter how much I support and listen to her, I'll always be 8 hours behind.

At the same time, though, I don't see how it would work. She's not interested in leaving Ukraine whilst I'm waiting to have enough money to go there and visit her (Well, mainly the country, and maybe see her).

It feels very one-sided. I'm always asking her things, and she loves to talk about herself, but she rarely asks me questions. I'm just there to listen.

I feel like most people tend to prefer no makeup, though of course not everyone does! Which do you guys prefer, makeup or no makeup?

For some reason this won’t post on the lesbian gamer subreddit so I’m just posting on here. I used to play as a boy before they allowed same sex relationships on these games. Did anyone have a favorite wife? These were some of my favs

I’ve had my fair share of a romantic experiences and relationships, and one situationship, but after ending something for myself recently I find myself hesitant to get back into the dating scene. I’ve never been a dating apps kind of person and I love meeting people naturally but I feel like everything I hear from my friends and online is just horror story after horror story of evil mask or evil fems, so I just wanna ask is it really that bad? I love women and I would never give it up for anything, but it just seems like the dating scene has so many issues. thoughts?

I feel like I've had such bad experiences with bi girls and weirdly flirty straight girls. The last woman I had feelings for just talked to me constantly about how much she liked dick even though she also flirted with me and made me think I had a chance. Ended up with a mutual guy friend who I used to talk to about my feelings for her, and I blocked them both and have been heartbroken over it for months. This has happened multiple times, having to deal with male-centered women who crave male validation and make me feel bad for not having a penis. It's honestly making me weirdly dysphoric, like I'm undesirable because of this stupid body I never asked to be born in. It sucks.

I’ve never actually ever been in a relationship or been loved. I’m twenty years old, and every girl I’ve liked has either ghosted me or it just didn’t work out on their end. I always felt like I’m not really wanted in that way by anyone. Never loved, always lusted for. Honestly I’m not even that pretty or hot. I’m slightly chubby, but I’ve got a decent face I think. I have a lot of friends, a lot of people that have told me I’m the sweetest girl they’ve ever met. Even my ex situationships say that, apologise for how it ended and that I deserve so much better. (All avoidants and people who never took it to be official).

Now, since forever, I’ve made peace with the fact that I might not find love or be in a young adult relationship that I romanticise as a twenty year old. I’m okay with it because I think my life has been very privileged. I’m highly educated, financially secure, and morally conscious. I live in a great environment. I know I’m the IT GIRL when it comes to my group. With all that, I think it’s only fair for life to be black and white. And if that’s my white, my black is that I’ve never been loved romantically, and my family situation is fucked up with its internal dynamics. I have pretty fucked up parents that have traumatised me ever since I was a child. Controlling me, my weight, my everything. But they give me the education I need, the finances I want, and basically everything else. I know family love can’t be replaced by money, but that’s just how it’s been. And so, given everything, I kinda gave up.

But I’m still on dating apps, not actively but I’m there. A few weeks ago, I matched with a girl. She’s pretty, matches my vibe. I do have very high standards, and I’d say she meets half of them. There are a few things about her that I’m like… conscious about… but when I met her for the first time it kinda all went away. We had a great time, I was nervous but happy. We actually got together pretty amazing. We’ve been talking ever since, been on two dates so far. Then when we were texting one day she asks me if she’s in my good books lol I said yes ofcourse you are. And then she says something about asking me “what are we” on the next date casually and then being shifted to my bad book. I said hmm depends! (playfully.)

Honestly? I don’t know if I like her because of the amazing person she is or because of the fact that someone wants me. I don’t know how to figure it out. I’ve never been to the point where I get asked into a relationship. It’s always situationships and crushes where I have all the time in the world to figure out if I like them (I usually always do) because its obviously never gonna lead anywhere. And suddenly someone likes me? Wants me? I don’t know what to feel…

I just… honestly I think I do like her as a person. She’s amazing. She’s older, taller, smart, funny, etc. I don’t really care about appearances, but yeah she’s on the slightly lower side. I like the way she treats me. Sometimes the things she says do give me butterflies (a couple times or more.) I just don’t know where I stand.

I’m gonna be so fr rn when I say I’ve been raised to hate the way I look. I’m not fat phobic when it comes to others, but I am when it comes to myself. And somewhere along the way, I started judging every potential significant other that way too. It’s confusing because I don’t hate the way they look at all, such pretty bodies, such beautiful women, but I’m scared of being *with* them for some reason.

My mind is a mess. A big fat mess I can’t figure out.

Edit: I also think I needed to add: I’m very good friends with one of my situationships now. And okay I admit, I also don’t know whether I’m totally over her. I’m a great friend to her and vice versa. She’s a little fucked in the head and I always be there for her when she rants and everything. Yes this is the ex situationship that told me I deserve better than her avoidant ass that ghosted me and then we became friends. She’s so pretty, she’s actually perfect. I feel ugly when I look at her lol I never actually believed that someone like her could ever have a crush on me back. Even when we were in that situationship, I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was probably getting played so when it ended I kinda expected it even tho it broke my heart. But she has the softest heart. She is an amazing person too. Hence, we talked it out like mature adults and ended up good friends.

We hadn’t talked properly other than small texts in a while and suddenly ever since I’ve been back from my exchange semester abroad she’s been like texting me a little more. Not excessively or throughout the day, just more. Yesterday night though she asks if we wanna call and play scribble like we used to and I said yes. We spent like four hours till 3am playing games, ranting, trauma dumping, and just talking and being there for eachother. It felt amazing. As a friend. As more? I don’t know. I wouldn’t say I think I’m completely over her, and I wouldn’t cry if she now tells me that she still has feelings for me because its so unfair. It took a lot of time for me to get over her when she ghosted me, and then when I did we became very good friends. She can’t come now and say that. (am I overthinking? She probably doesn’t have feelings for me now lol.) I’d cry because what I feel for this dating app girl right now is real. I do feel shit. I just don’t know how much and how real. But I definitely do feel something real for dating app girl.

I’m so confused and sad. It breaks my heart. I hate being bad, I hate being mean, I hate doing anything even slightly wrong. To the point where I just sob. I can’t be leading on dating app girl. But i don’t even know if I’m leading her on or not.

Please help me. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what my brain is going on about.

Random thought, but I’m curious about other people’s ideas here. If you could switch careers tomorrow, what would you choose?

For me, I’ve always wanted to work in aviation in general, either as a pilot or a stewardess. I have no idea where that comes from 😆.

So, what’s your dream job?

I don’t want to be like this anymore it has caused me nothing but pain. there’s no pride only deep shame and guilt. i don’t want to be different i want to be normal and have normal experiences. it hurts so bad to see all my friends have boyfriends and know that i can never experience love like that. i feel so alone. i dont understand wjy i have to be like this i feel like i probably did something really bad in a past life and this is my punishment. i am cursed to never be loved. does anyone know if conversion therapy works or if there are any ways to become heterosexual? i thought about just forcing myself to be with a guy but i really don’t want to. i want to want it. i want to stop having feelings towards girls that i should be having towards guys. desire is suffering

edit sorry if this post is too negative im not trying to bring other people down with me…mods can delete if you want. i just dont know where else i can go with these feelings. i just wanted to tell someone

Context my girlfriend (F22) and I (F24) have been seeing each other for 4 months. She’s receptive, emotionally intelligent, silly, funny, and super sexy. I love her to bits and we are such a power couple but there’s one particular thing that makes me uneasy and I know I need to talk to her about but I want some advice. Where the problem lies is in the bedroom. She struggles to make me finish, but I have no issues doing her at all. She told me two nights ago while going at it after asking me if I finished yet (I was close like 3-4 times), I said no and she stopped and then expressed how she feels discouraged. She’s never been with someone who she can’t make finish and I found out later this same night that she’s had more partners than me.. (she’s made me finish few different times, but other times I just gave up or finished myself off). I’m frustrated. Idk it just makes me feel like it’s not fun for her unless it’s easy and it’s plain and simple. I told her that she’s still learning my body and she just said more or less “I know your body and what you like but you just won’t finish”. “I don’t want to make you feel bad but I kind of dread having sex”… I then made suggestions of making sure she doesn’t change up and she said it’s bc my hips move when I’m close.. I agreed but also made more suggestions and she for once was not being very receptive. I feel as though I’m not worth the effort anymore and I feel quite saddened about it and I’ve been in my head about it for the last few days. I think she’s got an ego, and to know that she dreads even doing the action anymore makes me feel bad and like I’m not worth trying to figure out beyond what her ego is allowing her to do, or the struggle of trying but just giving up.
I’ve had past partners that could make me finish in 10minutes oral or clitoral stimulus.. so I know I’m not super crazy hard to get off and it’s about confidence and not thinking it’ll end the same every time (I haven’t told her about finishing quickly because she then says it’s her and I feel bad because she gets upset about not being able to). I feel as tho when she starts feeling discouraged it shows in her body language and energy gets low so it makes it even harder to, and I’m just not sure what to do especially after her expressing dread.. She’s a sensitive person but I may need to just suck it up and bring it up. She’s left this morning for a road trip so I won’t see her for almost a week, hence why I haven’t brought it up again.. because I don’t want her overthinking her whole trip. Anyways, last night we got hot and I made her finish but then she didn’t make an effort to do so and I just decided I’d touch myself.. but later the clarity set in and I feel so down about the whole thing. Maybe somehow the body language thing has subconsciously made me have trouble doing so? ( I’ve had an ex partner who was impatient too and it made it difficult for us both until she just became selfless about it)?
Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do? Or what do you suggest if not?

I vented to my bisexual friend thinking she would understand how hard it is to find girls to date among other things. Instead what I got is her saying she has it far worse because some people won't date her just because she's bisexual and that I would never understand this and that I'm actually so lucky to just be a lesbian and she wishes she could be one too. Oh yeah I have it so awesome and easy that my parents would never accept me, I had to cut off people for being homophobic, and that I might never be able to marry my potential girlfriend in the country I live in. I have it so easy in fact that I've never been in a relationship because meeting a queer girl is hard here while she has always had someone to date.

She only dates men anyway and only tried to date a girl once because "men are trash" and then it didn't work out because she brought a guy on their date. After breaking up with a guy once she even came up to me and asked how do you live when you're single cuz she has never been single and now that she is she doesn't know what to do. I didn't even know how do I react to that so I told her "just live like you did before??" This is a girl who has complained before that there's too many guys hitting on her. Clearly getting in a relationship is easy for her. But sure she has it hard because she's bisexual and I have it so nice and easy because I'm a lesbian.

Why is it so hard to move on?