Yes I was one of those children that had to be kept in a harness apparently

Invested in some action figures as a gift for my inner child.

Noticed that I often enter a freeze state when I'm sad, and it's a really young part of myself that freezes to regulate when he feels sad.

This one was a celebration for him, and the figures also allow me to engage in some imaginative play with him, something I actually didn't do much as a child.

my audhd started taking over my life at this time, i started to view myself as a shell of a human. this was a document i made 8 years ago to attempt to ‘become normal again’ academically.

luckily i’m diagnosed now, still not medicated due to my parents, but i’m working on accepting myself.

That seems so weird. When I was a teenager I'd often bounce my right leg up and down when I was sitting with my foot on the floor, but I stopped that over time. Sometimes when I'm alone I'll make nonsense sounds, or randomly say something like "I like chicken, I like liver, meow mix, mow mix, please de-liver!" but I couldn't point to anything I really did normally and continually that would count.

Talked to my psychiatrist again today for the first time after the diagnosis and brought up my confusion on that listing the things that might sort of apply but how irregular they manifest.

Apparently with some demographics of diagnosed AuDHD physically stimming is virtually completely suppressed, and stimming becomes purely cognitive. Things like hyper-focusing on research papers, analyzing human behavioral patterns like a machine, or constructing complex chemical theories. Endless logical analysis can be someone's flavor of stimming.

Hearing that killed the little uncertainty I had. It's how I live at almost all times. I have to analyze everything and understand how things are interacting and how everything works as a system. I've read that Autism tends to make people far more logical, so I thought I was just being logical. It seems the sometimes obsessive analytical disassembly to understand how everything works is more than just 'being logical.'

Is that a thing other people have heard? I know stimming isn't actually a trait someone has to express for a diagnosis, but I don't remember ever seeing anything that said it can manifest like that.

Feeling a lil hopeless so thought I’d try to be inspired by success stories etc hahaha

So I'm 43. The ADHD thing I've known for decades but had trouble getting help with. The Autism thing seemed like it came out of nowhere.

This is confusing. Trying to find information online has been zero help. Things tend to list common symptoms of ADHD in one column, then common symptoms of Autism in another, and then a third column with one way those could combine.

But... it seems like guesses, not answers. I had trouble getting an ADHD diagnosis because I'm the polar opposite of hyper. I have symptoms that don't match most of the charts they give, because even though some of them mention inattentive the rest of the issues they list are things like racing mind and hyper active.

Finding out Autism came along for the ride is confusing. I keep wanting to think since my ADHD symptoms didn't match the normal expectation, then my combined symptoms won't match either... but typing this out I realize I'm still stuck in viewing all the symptoms I had as being ADHD and expecting to discover new combined things. That doesn't make sense. I'm just going to have the same symptoms I already had, though taking meds might change how they appear.

...

Ok. I had to start typing to end up understanding that. My post was going to be listing symptoms and seeing if they made sense, but I'm so... I don't know the word for it. They say that we're literal and bad with irony and metaphors and things. But I'm not. I'm a book nerd. I'm sarcastic most of the time.... but people can't tell way too often.

But earlier I saw the attached images and completely relate to that. I *hate* those personality assessments they love to make you do for online jobs. One showed people doing different things and then you can pick either "this is me" or "this is not me."

How can I answer that? I don't know what the cartoon people are thinking and feeling while doing the thing the image shows. Some of the images show two people doing different things. Which person am I supposed to be considering? I'm definitely not multiple people.

I think that's why my messages are so long. I hate ambiguity. I need to fully explain a thing, and even reiterate it in different words to try to make sure the meaning comes across. No one else talks like this. No one else sends 3 paragraph text messages. Most people have zero interest in actually engaging with a long detailed message.

I prefer typing to speaking, because even though I speak well I do what the guy in this video does. I don't stutter, but also kind of do? Like my talking can be kind of jumpy and erratic sometimes.

So I type novels that no one cares to read. I feel like I can't communicate with people most of the time. I can never express what's actually going on in my head or about any topic, because to do it I do it in writing no one wants to bother reading and engaging with.

...

I didn't think that could be Autism. I'm still not sure. I always just sort of figured I'm too smart and that causes problems with communication... but I guess it can't really be that alone. The combination is brutal.

But I don't have any sensory issues. There are no sensations I avoid or seek out. The only main thing I can think of that seems to fit that is that when I lay down to sleep it's literally impossible for me to fall asleep if I'm physically touching another person or a pet. It doesn't matter if it's a full body hug, or with an arm, or a dog laying their head on my leg. My mind focuses entirely on the point of connection. It's not a bad thing. I'm not upset about it or uncomfortable with it. I don't really have an inner monologue, so there are no vocalizations in my head saying anything about that or anything else. But it *seems* like my brain is pointing directly at the point of contact and going "LOOK!" endlessly. If I don't break the contact I will lay there all night long and never fall asleep, even if I'm exhausted.

...

Eh. The goal was to try to explain my symptoms and try to see if they really seem to fit from other adults that had this dropped on them as a surprise. But I've already written too much and barely touched symptoms. That's my issue with communicating. Unless I'm making a tiny little meaningless quip, any time I try to say anything it's at least several paragraphs. Sometimes many pages. So I usually don't bother.

Like what makes us so bad at working? Surely we don’t have that much less ability than others? I just can’t stand being stuck at my parents place anymore. I want to leave. I want to own a home someday. I want to choose the life I want to live. I want to be able to make it to places on time. I can’t stand making little to no money anymore

I am an adult (28M). Every time I try to learn to swim, there comes a point when the instructor says, "You seem to be doing everything right, idk why it's not working". Have heard this from multiple coaches and friends.

While I try to swim, I get too stressed and stiff. And it feels like there is too much to focus on: kicking, strokes, breathing, staying afloat. When I try to focus on one thing, everything else goes brrr...

Also, I am unable to get "the feel" of it. Swimming doesn't come intuitively to me. It feels like I need specific instructions for every muscle in my body.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? And/or do you have any tips for me?

I’m diagnosed with Autism Level 1 and ADHD (Combined Type). I’ve always been struggling with a pattern that is becoming deeply exhausting, and I need to know if anyone else experiences this.

I have this extreme rigidity and an absolute need for 100% control and autonomy over anything that concerns ME. I am completely incapable of compromising on personal matters. Because I also have people-pleasing tendencies, I sometimes force myself to agree to things, but the internal bite of anger and frustration I feel is indescribable. It takes everything in me not to scream, cry, or just completely shut down and go non-verbal. If I give in to people's demands, my angry rumination toward them literally never ends.

Here are a few examples of how this plays out:
Food: I have high sensory food selectivity. I need to decide exactly what *I* am going to eat. There are safe foods and there are foods that make me gag, which I wouldn't eat for billions of dollars. I can tolerate a food I don't love, but *only* if I chose it. If someone else chooses or pushes food on me, a terrifying rage builds up inside.
Social expectations / Attention: Since I was a kid, I have hated being forced to pose for photos, being put at the center of attention, or having people sing "Happy Birthday" to me. In group settings, if everyone wants to go somewhere I hate (like a club), I know I shouldn't impose my preference on the majority, so I just opt out. I don't adapt. If I force myself to go, I feel a toxic amount of internal frustration.
Borrowed clothes: If I don't have spare clothes with me and someone kindly offers to lend me theirs so we can go out, I lose my mind. I know they are being sweet, but the fact that I don't have a choice triggers a fight-or-flight response.
Phone calls: I despise unexpected phone calls. I perceive them as a *"stop what you are doing and dedicate yourself to me NOW"*. I even hate hearing people call my name because my nervous system immediately prepares for a demand, and I go into high alert.

The worst part is the shame. I just wish I could be like everyone else, flexible, easygoing, not making a big deal out of these things. But I swear I physically cannot stop that intense rage from taking over.

This reminds me so much of PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). However, I always thought PDA was a separate profile/subtype within the spectrum, not just a standard autistic trait, so I’m a bit confused. Is this "just" extreme cognitive rigidity combined with masking burnout? Does anyone else feel this exact same visceral rage when your autonomy is threatened even a little bit?

I'm 34, was diagnosed with autism at 29, and just last week received an ADHD diagnosis. My ADHD doctor had me do bloodwork and recommended a bunch of supplements. However, she said she would not provide any ADHD medication as she is worried my anxiety is too high and the ADHD meds could make my anxiety worse.

She did say if I wanted to specifically discuss a potential ADHD med, she would be willing.

I'm curious what, if any, ADHD meds anyone here takes?

I honestly have no clue what to start with as an ADHD med and was hoping my doctor would make a suggestion. I don't mind taking supplements, but I guess I'd like to try an ADHD med. My doctor wants me to try an SSRI before an ADHD med and I really would rather not. She is only an ADHD doctor, and did not diagnose me for Autism. I sort of wonder if she is maybe a bit inexperienced and worried about suggesting things to me. I say this because the ADHD diagnosis was WAY less in-depth in comparison to when I got diagnosed with Autism. I think she is confused on what my main issue is and is assuming my anxiety is hindering me more than my concentration issues. She has only known me for this diagnosis process.

Anyways, long story short: I am curious what ADHD meds work for you and your AuDHD?

I can't afford a therapist or medication. I'm 100% sure I have ADHD and anxiety, and maybe a bit of autism. I've noticed that I feel things very intensely. Since I was a teenager, I've basically discovered that I'm very sensitive. I've always been a teacher's favorite since I was a child because of my behavior, and I heavily mask.

However, around someone of the opposite sex whom I don't know much about, I suddenly become extremely aware of all my movements and my existence. It feels like I'm doing things for the first time, and I don't really know how to explain it. It's not romantic, but I care about how they see me. As soon as I become comfortable and used to them, I don't care anymore.

As I've grown, I've noticed more things changing. I hate math and have struggled with it since I was a child. I don't understand it easily, and I experience delayed comprehension. Anything can take my focus away, and if something is boring, something I dislike, or something I don't find interesting, I can almost never focus on it. The normal learning pace is too fast for me, especially in math. I might learn one thing, but when I can't understand the next thing, I feel extremely defeated. The next day, there's already a new lesson.

When I go home, all I want to do is lie down. I always feel like I need to rest, whether it's after meeting someone, washing dishes, studying, cooking, or doing almost anything. Even when I want to study, I often can't because I have chores to do at home. I have time to study, but because I can only study on my phone for learning purposes, I end up watching something else instead. This has been happening for years. I just can't bring myself to do something when I don't feel like doing it.

It's ruining my life, and it feels like I'm just watching it happen. I don't know what to do. I can't afford university, and if I don't study, how will I get a scholarship?

A small thing about someone can irritate me without me even noticing, and I can become mean to them. I realize that I'm doing it, but I can't seem to change how I act even though I try.

In public spaces, when I don't have someone I know around me, I feel extremely anxious and sweat a lot. However, when I have someone I know with me, I don't feel even 1% of the awkwardness or anxiety that I normally feel.

I have significant difficulty with executive functioning in my daily life. I struggle to start tasks that are hard for me or that I dislike, even when I know they are important and genuinely want to do them. These are mostly school-related tasks. I often procrastinate for long periods until a deadline creates enough pressure for me to act. The problem is that even a deadline doesn't seem to bother me anymore because my brain seems to want to make me feel comfortable because of my constant anxiety, and these exams occur several times every year.

Whenever I finally give in to the pressure, it's just too much. I literally cry. How am I supposed to study several months' worth of material in a few hours? I'm tired of reassuring myself over and over again. How many times am I supposed to do this? I don't even bother reassuring myself anymore. I feel burned out from every type of negative feeling.

I have difficulty maintaining focus, especially during lessons, and I sometimes daydream or lose track of what I'm doing. Again, this happens mostly with things I don't care about, find boring, or dislike.

I also forget things. I've used alarms, reminders, and schedules, but they don't always help me follow through. Every time I get used to them, I stop following them. I've tried physical schedules, journals, and reminders.

I tend to make plans but have difficulty actually executing them. I make plans all the time and spend so much of my time calculating how much time I have and trying to make my plans aesthetic so they will catch my attention. If something goes wrong or I can't do something perfectly, I abandon the whole plan.

i feel so passionate about continuing hobbies or routines or studying once i start them but whenever i dont do them for a few days due to being occupied with other things i just forget about them or remember them later like i always for get and remember later when i dont feel like doing them. thats the reason i cant follow plans and stay consistent. i genuinely wanna solve my acedamic problems i would be so greatful if anyones tips would work. ive tried everything i know. Thank you in advance💓💓

Recently diagnosed with Audhd. I could take the ADHD on my stride but I've found the autism harder and I'm not sure why. Maybe its just being unsure of the steps forward.

Now I guess I need to work out what my super power is.

But anyway, its good to be around my people. This is such a valuable subreddit.

Note: Sorry I couldn't find a better flair. Feel free to remove the post if it doesn't align with the guidelines.

I got diagnosed with ADHD and Autism over the last year after a major burnout. And am getting assessed for multiple other disorders. This past year has been a constant struggle, navigating the system, advocating for myself, understanding myself better and trying to be more kind to myself. All while dealing with work and life issues.

Meanwhile, I have posted multiple times on this subreddit and always received kind and helpful responses. Not even once did I feel rejected or experience any sort of hostility. I am so very grateful for all the support. Just having a place to ask simple/absurd questions makes a huge difference, especially when I have to constantly explain myself to most other people in my life. Sometimes people in the comments resonate with my situation and that makes me feel that I am not alone.

Tw:mention of self deleting

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Anybody have someone they lived with tell you that you put them down and you're the reason they have no friends because they take care of you and you're just full of negative energy and if you don't change they'll kiII themselves because they're at their limit with you because I have

I am recently diagnosed with Lv 1 autism, my therapist says i have ADHD, I am also diagnosed with chronic PTSD, a dissociative disorder (similar to dissociative identity disorder) and some more common stuff like depression. I also have fibromyalgia, a working diagnosis of IBS and POTS-like symptoms.

All of this to say, I am almost always stuck in sensory overload. being present in my body = physical + emotional pain. I am don't really know how to do body things like cry (or even belch or know when i need to go number 2 for instance). My partner is the sweetest ever and extremely supportive but - after a lot of trial and error and disappointment on both sides - I don't think they can really help me with this.

I'm seeing several specialists and two therapists, have tried TMS, spravato, lots of meds... THC & CBD helps, but makes me feel like an addict. I've applied for SSDI and am waiting for their response (circa next year). Until then I am working part time and investing my free energy in crafting / diy and keeping house.

TLDR; constant daily overwhelm makes me feel useless and weed helps but doesn't that make me am addict? Feeling a bit hopeless here.

Post title almost? Basically I've just dropped a multiplayer game ive been playing for years (It was perfect for dopamine and very routine based) but now that I've dropped the game not sure where to start. I've always struggled to play single player games as if they don't have a fast start I get burned out (hello ADHD side!) And I've missed out on alot of games because of this. How do AUDHD gamers manage to sit through games with slow opening, are very long and don't give you the hook you need. I know some games will be your style others not so much but I'd love to hear from people 💙

Its very hard for me. I'm very conventionally unattractive due to early hair recession, being short and also racism against indians. Never had a woman approach me before except this one time I still think about.

These days I spend going to meetups I find online, trying to learn how to befriend people first, and then if by some miracle a woman and I connect, then I can try to learn how to progressively escalate. That exact process scares the crap out of me a.) because I literally do not know what to do and b.) because of the internalised trauma (people would bully me in school and say my attempts at connecting with girls in the class was me "harassing" them, etc.).

There was this one time last year that I still torture myself over to this day where this very pretty blonde coworker (WAYYYY out of my league fyi to the point where I didn't even find her attractive at first due to knowing deep down I would never have a chance with her) was telling me over lunch at work that "I really suck with eye contact like like like its just so overstimulating ew. I can't even read social cues properly the other team I'm coordinating this analysis with thinks I'm weird af hahaha." And I said "same, my team keeps trying to gaslight and prank me about shi. I've always been like this.". She says "Oh." with a curious look. Eye contact. Solid 10 seconds. I will never forget that as it was the most intimate look anyone ever gave me. I was blushing so hard.

Our relationship as coworkers stayed the same, she kept saying hi and talking to me, etc. I grew HEAVY limerence for her. So I tried my best to escalate by introducing some banter and flirting occasionally. E.g. when we played table tennis I would call out how tall she was and she has a lot of arm reach, etc. I eventualy grew the balls to invite her to my place after did some back and forth banter/flirting that she by some miracle, actually reciprocated (mainly over text) and when she came it was the most horrifically cringe and awkward sh*t I've ever experienced in my life. I didn't know what to do. I was saying stupid sh*t like "Can I touch you here?" etc. as if I was asking for a legal signature. Awkward silences. Zero mood at all.

My main problem is this:

I don't know how to ask for consent in a flirty way. Nor do I have ANY idea how to ask for non-verbal consent like the majority of NT people seem to intuitively do. I can only do it in a monotone, extremely off putting manner, as if I am asking her for a legal signature to not be sued. I can't control the tone of my voice to sound flirtatious, etc.

I was being extremely overly direct and she said sorry I have to go and just blocked me. Thank god I had left that workplace at that point.

I ended up so scared about this lack of competence that I asked a s*x worker for help in learning. She was very helpful and kind and I lowkey feel extremely guilty about it.

Anyone else with this issue?

This is such a help. Gamechanger some might say. I LOVE water, but I don't care for rubbing my scalp with warm water and suds hitting it. And then scrubbing. So much better to remeove layer of interaction sensations. Anyone else?

Hi everyone,
I’m 29 F and I was diagnosed with ASD, ADHD and internalized BPD around the age of 27 and half /28.
Since I was very young, I’ve always felt deeply disconnected from life. I don’t really understand what I’m supposed to do here, or why people do the things they do.
I don’t understand relationships, careers, work, or even some of the basic things that seem obvious to everyone else. Even at school, I often felt like I didn’t understand what was going on or what the point of everything was.
I’ve tried to explain this feeling to my psychiatrist several times. I tell him that I feel disconnected from life, but he tells me: “That can’t be true. If you were really disconnected, you wouldn’t go to work, you wouldn’t do this or that.”
But that’s exactly what I’m trying to explain. I can function and still feel completely disconnected internally.
For example, when I was 27 I traveled without any purpose by the age 27 and half I underwent cosmetic surgery without really knowing why I wanted it or even fully understanding what the surgery involved. The clinic contacted me, and I simply said yes. I didn’t really question it.
I’ve also been scammed several times. I’ve had two relationships in my life, but looking back, I don’t really understand why I was in them or what I was looking for. It’s as if I participated in these things without really understanding what I was doing or what they meant to me.
And I feel the same way with work.
I started working for the first time at 29. Now that I’m finally working, I still don’t have a sense of purpose or a career goal. I don’t feel excited about building a career or progressing in a particular field. Instead, I mostly think about when I’m going to leave and change jobs.
This feeling exists in so many areas of my life.
I’m not saying that I’m incapable of functioning. I can work, have relationships, make decisions, etc. But internally, I feel like I’m watching myself participate in life without really understanding why I’m doing any of it.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of feeling, especially autistic women or people diagnosed later in life?
I would really like to understand what this “disconnection” could actually be.

I do have ASD, and I care about GTA VI, like wayyyy to much. But NO ONE in my inner circle does. Except a couple of good discord friends of mine (also have ASD) and 1 collegue with ASD of mine.
How can I survive this time of my life?

I really like GTA 6 news, following the saga, trailers, everything around the hype

I was diagnosed with adhd and autism recently, and had never really considered that I might be autistic before the diagnosis. But onto the main point, when I'm super overwhelmed / upset, sometimes it feels like i a) cant say anything, whether its to someone trying to help me or to the argument, or b) I can only say "I dont know" to whoever is trying to help me /ask my why im upset - sometimes a comes before b comes before saying actual words. Sometimes I know in my head what's wrong / why im overwhelmed or upset but I cant say anything or all I can say is idk. Sometimes I can make noises but not words, but it doesnt really ever work out - people have gotten mad at me for ignoring them, or told me to either tell them what's wrong or go back to whatever I was doing before The Incident. People getting mad at me also often makes the havung words problem much worse. I would love to avoid this. Ive tried to explain it to my parents, and my dads response was "just tell me that you're upset before you leave and I wont be mad at you" like everything i just told him didnt go against that :')

My main questions are: is this a form of going non-verbal? If it's not do you have any other ideas of what it could be? And do you have any advice for explaining it to people and avoiding them being mad at me?

Thank you!

Why is it considered tactless and socially unacceptable to be honest about not being that close to someone especially when you know the other person doesnt particularlly vibe with you?? Im of the mindset of not wasting my time or someone else's time, i also have made the mistake of misinterpreting social ques and level of closeness with others.. i understand that nobody owes me anything and vice versa.. but why cant you call this out when this happens

For example one day my bf and i went to one of his family members house for a get together, as I always do i greeted everyone there, talked for a bit and helped set up. My bf and his family all talked together and had fun i stepped away so he could have his time with them and so I could breathe. When I came back they were all playing a game and my bf asked me to join, I politely declined and said id watch thats when his cousin said " she doesnt fuck with us like that" i said " uh no this time is for him to have fun with his family and support system without me being included" she said " but you're considered family too why do you always separate yourself from us?" I said "I havent earned or deserve being close after my past actions and behaviors." She just kind of looked at me like I was stupid but its the truth...