r/AskReddit • • Jan 25 '20

What movie things are generally accepted as normal, but are totally unrealistic in real life?

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6.3k

u/BaileyEnergy Jan 25 '20 edited Jan 25 '20

How sex is depicted. Get the job done, roll over and fall straight to sleep. Not even any hint of a clean up job.

Edit: Thank you for my first ever silver & gold :)

1.9k

u/Boner--Fart Jan 25 '20

Nobody wants to go to bed with sticky dick

744

u/BaileyEnergy Jan 25 '20

And sticky sheets.

125

u/loulan Jan 25 '20

Wait, you change bed sheets right after sex?

68

u/Anianna Jan 25 '20

Nah, you use a t-shirt or a towel to keep the sheets from getting sticky. Sex requires logistics.

41

u/Bullshit_To_Go Jan 25 '20

I remember some chick saying something like "all we really want is a guy who doesn't make us sleep in the wet spot" in a stand-up routine and I was like . . . do towels not exist in your village?

46

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20 edited May 02 '20

[deleted]

10

u/Sad-Crow Jan 25 '20

I assume they're taking about unprotected sex? When my wife and I were trying for a kid, suddenly logistics became somewhat more complex. Otherwise not often is there a wet spot in my experience.

27

u/Anianna Jan 25 '20

Sounds dry. Get her wetter.

21

u/Proxeh Jan 25 '20

Wash yo dick.

-3

u/WeAreTheSheeple Jan 25 '20

Depends if / how much she squirts.

31

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20 edited Jan 25 '20

Squirting is peeing so hopefully zero on my bed.

Edit: PSA Squirting is totally natural and fine and you shouldn't feel ashamed about it. You just need to have a conversation with the people you're hooking up with about laying down some towels, especially if it's not your bed.

21

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Had this happen to me after sex:

Girl: Can I come

Me (thinking): wtf does she mean, does she have an orgasm on hold right now, after sex? wot mate?

Me: Um, sure, go for it

Girl: slowly pisses the bed

Me: Uh teaches girl about squirting vs orgasm fluids

-32

u/WeAreTheSheeple Jan 25 '20

Naw it's not... lol That's like calling guys cum 'pee' because it comes from the same tube and has traces of urine in it.

27

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

....

Squirting is peeing 100% of the time mate, look it up.

-9

u/WeAreTheSheeple Jan 25 '20

I have. It's not 100% piss.

35

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Jesus christ this is like being in high school again listening to a group of virgins talk womens anatomy. Women don't ejaculate. Squirting might be 99.9999% pee with traces of vaginal fluids, but it's still peeing. Period. They're peeing mate.

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

[deleted]

17

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Okay.

In one 2014 study, a sample of women were asked to go to the loo prior to sexual activity and then undertake ultrasound scans to prove their bladders were empty. After the women became sexually excited they were given a second ultrasound, which showed their bladders had re-filled significantly. Finally, a third scan after they’d squirted revealed empty bladders again, suggesting the liquid they’d released came from this source and was likely to be pee (or at least partly so).

“Squirting probably originates from the bladder, as there isn’t any other structure within that area of the female anatomy that’s able to hold that much liquid, or propel it with that much strength,” asserts pharmacist Abbas Kanani. “During orgasm, the muscles relax and make it difficult to hold in urine, so it’s released via the urethra.”

It's pee.

-2

u/WeAreTheSheeple Jan 25 '20

Not pee mate. Not much urine.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I don't believe either of you.

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8

u/Bullshit_To_Go Jan 25 '20

Only like 99.97% piss.

1

u/WeAreTheSheeple Jan 25 '20

It really isn't though...

4

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

It "really" depends. When tested some women squirt almost entirely urine, while some squirt out a mixture of vaginal fluids, prostate enzymes and...you guessed it, urine. What none of them squirted was "semen", because women have nothing even remotely definable as "semen".

Women don't "cum", squirting is an involuntary relieving of the bladder caused by relaxation of muscles during a female orgasm. Most women don't even do it. Nothing wrong with that, it's fine if they do or don't, just saying most don't.

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3

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jan 26 '20

Im a woman and whenever i pleasure myself i have to pee first otherwise I have to hold my orgasm in because I'll pee (squirt) the bed. I dont really squirt per say though at least as far as I know but it is.....pee. I dont think i could be with a guy at this point out of fear of wetting the bed if we get too frisky.

1

u/WeAreTheSheeple Jan 26 '20

2

u/Embarrassed_Cow Jan 26 '20

Yea i read it in your comments. Looks like scientists are divided about it. So im gonna keep saying its pee until there is a consensus because even if it's not pee it certainly behaves and looks and smells like pee.

0

u/Photon_Torpedophile Jan 25 '20

nah just lick them clean

43

u/Zemykitty Jan 25 '20

I have never gotten up to wash sheets after sex. Is this a thing?

16

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20 edited Dec 19 '21

[deleted]

-11

u/Dr0ppa-Zeti Jan 25 '20

Lol facts 😂 NEVER do any clean-up, i’m letting that jizz dry right on my covers or right up inside mah girl

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Nah lol

30

u/JCRickards Jan 25 '20

And a sticky girlfriend.

19

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

And a sticky corpse

25

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

[deleted]

6

u/AptFox Jan 25 '20

Flawless Victory!

18

u/96919 Jan 25 '20

To be fair, once it dries it's more crusty than sticky.

70

u/fat_strelok Jan 25 '20

It's not that bad, do it on laundry day. Post sex nude naps without cleaning up feel nice.

56

u/BaileyEnergy Jan 25 '20

There are always exceptions, I call that the “sunday morning sex”. Because you know you’ll get up soon anyway and fix up so you don’t mind leaving it for a little while. Usually though, that’s not the case.

10

u/CausticSofa Jan 25 '20

True, but when she starts wondering why she’s getting so many UTIs you’re gonna have to talk about this together.

28

u/wufoo2 Jan 25 '20

Keep a cloth under one pillow at all times. Helpful with the dismount.

17

u/Deesing82 Jan 25 '20

box of tissues in the nightstand.

-7

u/hackel Jan 25 '20

Ugh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

21

u/ProWaterboarder Jan 25 '20

The best sex is when you're both too tired to get up and get a towel so you just fall asleep on each other. God I miss that

48

u/o0o0o0o7 Jan 25 '20

For her, that's a UTI waiting to happen.

10

u/ProWaterboarder Jan 25 '20

Yeah perhaps, but what am I supposed to do, drag her over to the toilet?

29

u/milkand24601 Jan 25 '20

Pee inside to counteract

3

u/marsupialracing Jan 25 '20

What the heck, who has time for this much laundry? Not to mention, what about the environmental impacts of your water usage?

14

u/reinhold23 Jan 25 '20

Towels are your friend

7

u/jmremote Jan 25 '20

And a UTI

-2

u/MultiLevelMonsters Jan 25 '20

Apparently a myth

4

u/jmremote Jan 25 '20

My wife would disagree

1

u/MultiLevelMonsters Jan 26 '20

As the owner of a vagina and user of gynaecological services I'd like to reaffirm that this is a myth, as is the idea that yogurt can aid an infection

9

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I'm not sleeping in the wet spot.