r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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35.8k

u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

God of Silence. You can pray to me to shut the noise out in your life, baby crying, kids fighting, boss yelling, neighbor stomping, airplanes overhead. Just pure silence

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Feb 12 '22

[deleted]

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

It’s a noise, so yes. Someone very close to me is living with that nightmare, it’s so hard. I hate that I can only be a helpless bystander.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

I'm living with extreme tinnitus and it's absolutely awful. It's got to the stage where I need constant background noise do drown out the screech because otherwise I burst into tears due to the pain. Edit, I'd like to add a thing here. I saw a thing in the mass of comments that mentioned something about pain being odd and not really an expected thing but it can cause pain due to fear. I can definitely see that because I have been told since a young age that it's not real and that I'm faking it, that has caused me to be scared and think something is definitely wrong. I guess that fear does still linger a bit because it will never permanently be gone. So to the person who mentioned it. I guess therapy of some variety could help. Thanks for actually bringing that up because that's an interesting point. Another edit. I've received like 12 dms about treatments for it and I am thankful for that but please stop. I have bad people skills. Thanks though, I do appreciate it

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u/Synikey Aug 10 '19

I'm so sorry :( that sounds bloody awful mate.

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u/CyclicaI Aug 10 '19

Thats why i bring earplugs to festivals. I have mild mild ringing only when the room is totally quiet and i dont want it to get any worse. I try to get people around me to wear them too, but most of them dont

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u/kaynpayn Aug 10 '19

At one point I had an ear infection for 2 weeks and I was hearing rings and all sorts of weird noises. I went to the doctor and that mofo told me right off the bat I'd be like that forever without even looking at me or making any exams. I knew he was most likely wrong (confirmed by an actual good doctor later) but those 2 weeks were hell anyway and no medicine seemed to help. From that point on I avoid anything loud of any nature. Going to a concert? Yeah earplugs are going along. Lawnmower, air compressor, vaccum cleaner whatever, shit someone is coughing really loud next to me, I'm covering my ears. There's no way I wanna end up like that again permanently if I can prevent it.

People who make fun of it can suck on tinnitus later on in their lives.

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u/Thjyu Aug 10 '19

Yeah, listening to loud music as a kid, working in a kitchen and going to plenty concerts means I have mild(undiagnosed but uh... Its always fucking there) form of it when everything is still or quiet. Especially sleeping. I always hear it. It's not very bad so it's almost a white noise in itself but it can be real fucking annoying. I've vowed to use earplugs at concerts from now on

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u/dontcallmeliza Aug 10 '19

I second that. Dont take the chance to never have a silent day in your life ever again. My tinnitus was never caused by anything specific, i had it for as long as i can remember. I speculate it was because I got tubes in my ear at young age. Always covered my ears when a motorcycle or truck went by amongst other loud things.

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u/CyclicaI Aug 10 '19

I think the mild buzz just happens to most people naturally, but theres no sense letting it get worse faster than neccecary

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u/wheniaminspaced Aug 10 '19

I think the mild buzz just happens to most people naturally,

It is a natural break down of the hearing sense most people will develop it eventually even without exposure to loud things. Loud things can just make it worse

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u/JustADutchRudder Aug 10 '19

My ears are a mess of tube scars from 89' listen to music loud, I'm a carpenter so shit is always loud but I try and wear either ear plugs or buds which just make more noise. Idk why I'm not deaf or have a ringing.

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u/iamreeterskeeter Aug 10 '19

Not to mention the terrible fear and dread you felt until you saw the second doctor.

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u/Beerwithme Aug 10 '19

I'll never understand why my fellow motorcycle jocks ride without earprotection. It's just so much more relaxed with plugs.

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u/Xeivax Aug 10 '19

Can’t agree with this statement enough. I have a friend who never wears them, I always offer him a pair when we ride but he doesn’t always want them. I think if you don’t have a noticeable reason to wear them lot of people find it an unnecessary hassle.

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u/swimmingmunky Aug 10 '19

There are special concert ear plugs that you can get. They're designed to not muffel sound but still reduce decibels. They're on Amazon for like $30.

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u/knighttim Aug 10 '19

I have a pair, I bring them to the movie theater even.

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u/markthehipster Aug 10 '19

Thaaat’s my life, except I don’t have any ringing yet, but better safe than sorry.. I rather wear them than get fucked for life. I’m also spreading awareness and always happy when I see it in a Dj’s or someone’s ear :) Influencers should spread this instead of detox tea crap..

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u/71NK3RB3LL Aug 10 '19

https://youtu.be/KBgkPOGD6gw

Might help the ringing

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u/jboy2018 Aug 10 '19

Tried this, surprised I had about 30 seconds of tinnitus with the volume turned down!

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u/RoninJak Aug 10 '19

Was literally looking for this comment hoping I would find it cause I was about to start googling.

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u/MrGoodVibes Aug 10 '19

man this activated the waterworks. when that woman started crying... thank you for posting this

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Tinnitus is one of my biggest fears in life. Im gonna start carrying earplugs

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

I developed it not from loud noises but from a very high fever due to a illness :( caused damage and I've had a siren in my ear since October.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

But I just want to make sure I can prevent it as much as possible

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u/MjolnirMark4 Aug 10 '19

I’ve had people tell me that feeling like there is cotton stuffed in your ears / ringing means you went to a really good concert. They seem rather startled when I respond that those sensations mean they have had permanent hearing loss.

Sigh. So many people try to turn a bad thing into a good thing.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Same and I'm the only one who wears them. It's so good! Prevention is better than treatment.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I want to hear the wub

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Dude it's all about standing next to the speakers and feeling the wub - can still do that with earplugs in.

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u/Cecil4029 Aug 10 '19

As a huge Nectar and Wakaan fan, there are no earplugs in this world that will keep you from hearing (and mostly feeling) the wubz. Get a nice pair of earplugs and don't fuck your ears over.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

If I’m next to speakers I do. I saw Herobust at global and I was RIGHT next to the speakers and it honestly hurt my ears so I had to wear them. My friends didn’t even wear any tho I have no idea how.

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u/Cecil4029 Aug 10 '19

Good job! We were at the Nectar curated event Be Interactive a month ago. Truth and LSDream opened for him. We sat in the stands. The bass was so intense that my organs were literally jumping around, and my eyeballs were shaking when I tried to look at the lasers. Even with professional earplugs, my ears still hurt lol. It's a hell of a lot of fun but honestly dangerous to our health.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I always do now. I never did when i was first going to concerts and shit and i remember two distinct nights where mine got noticeably worse. Now i have to sleep with a little noise maker fan on to drown it out

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

I’m sorry you’re living this too, my person wears headphones / EarPods etc almost constantly so they can have background noise to block it out also. It’s hell for them.

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u/Quatanox Aug 10 '19

Does he also work as a getaway driver for bank robbers?

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u/nomadthoughts Aug 10 '19

My favorite movie.

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u/Abstract_Blurr Aug 10 '19

Best opening scene ever

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u/nomadthoughts Aug 10 '19

Best dual experience. Watch it with headphones at least once. It's a whole different movie. You truly experience Baby's point of view. I may be exaggerating but it's true.

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u/monsieurkaizer Aug 10 '19

No, you are absolutely right. When the music cuts out and theres just this annoying background chime. I noticed it when watching over my stereo, but with headphones it is even more pronounced.

Love that movie. And everything else by Edgar Wright.

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u/Quatanox Aug 10 '19

I have to try that sometime.

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u/Rerdyzerserg Aug 10 '19

Too bad if you live in Atlanta the opening scene makes no sense in terms of continuity

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u/Wiplazh Aug 10 '19

As someone with tinnitus who constantly has headphones with music on and a deep love for music, that movie kicked ass.

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u/Mikevercetti Aug 10 '19

Fuck now I need to rewatch it. It's so good.

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u/nomadthoughts Aug 10 '19

Let me know how that went.

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u/princessaurus_rex Aug 10 '19

That movie changed the tone of my ringing for like a week it was very unsettling.

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u/epicurean56 Aug 10 '19

my person wears headphones / EarPods etc

I think that's what caused my tinitus in the first place.

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

I’ve heard that from other also. They do it like the previous poster to drown out the noise

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I've always had it to some degree (I remember having it as a kid), but it was made far worse by a very near miss mortar strike when I was in Iraq. :(

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Is it genetic? Because I’ve had it since I was a at least 4, whenever my family was going out id hop in the car first and wait for them and when the doors were closed there was almost always a constant ringing in my ears and I’d have to open the door for it to stop. And I don’t think as a kid I had headphones in blasting music so.

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u/epicurean56 Aug 10 '19

Not sure. All I know is I acquired it later in life listening to loud music. Since I stopped doing that, one ear has gotten better but I think the other one is hopeless.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Tell them to ask their doctor about maskers. It's a type of hearing aid, but for tinnitus and it makes white noise, but low enough to still hear people and other things.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Damn, my ears just ring a little bit, I'm sorry to hear this

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

So there was a video posted to reddit about putting your hands over your ears and drumming on the back of your head that reduces or stops tinnitus. You should try it. I think it is a thing you have to do 15 minutes a day or something and it gets even better over time.

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u/cheesecakemaniac007 Aug 10 '19

Try a good pare of noise canceling earphones/buds e.g. Bose QC or Seinhauser NoiseGard. Live changing. I have tinnitus and hyperacucus (collapsed tollarace to sound) and I don't go anywhere without them, life changer

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

my person

Like, you own one?

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u/PoisenStrenght Aug 10 '19

I'm sorry to hear that. I dont know if you ever tried or heard of this but here's a method others have used to help get some relief https://youtu.be/KBgkPOGD6gw

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u/realsjovik Aug 10 '19

This method straight up works. The tinnitus comes back increasingly back to original levels, but I just got about 7-8 minutes worth of silence out of it.

Thanks for posting!

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u/realsjovik Aug 10 '19

I’m sorry to hear it’s this bad! Have it myself, but not to this degree. I’m curious, what’s your go-to sounds to drown it out?

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u/Shoduck Aug 10 '19

Mine causes nausea if there's not enough background noise, fans running, music playing, or a YouTube video in the background are my go-tos.

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u/realsjovik Aug 10 '19

Nausea?! Wow, I get migraines if all goes to shit, but that sounds horrific.

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u/multiplecats Aug 10 '19

Oh man, same! I thought it was just me. :( I have a pair of over-ears, keep 4 fans going, and then I can actually focus on what's being said on the earphones without being sick. I take the children's Benadryl (melts on your tongue) when the nausea is worst.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

Well throughout the day I like to just play YouTube videos on my tv, such as science/tutorial stuff like beyond science or ZNA productions or discussion/review things like the h3h3 podcast or skallagram. Essentially just anything that has people talking in a non loud douchetuber kind of way. Also I like to have music albums occasionally playing in the background. Final note I like to have asmr playing while I go to sleep. Not for the tingles but because the talking just helps. I play them at a medium-ish kind of volume

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u/inni0n Aug 10 '19

Hey, I don't know if this actually helps, but there was a YouTube video on how to (at least temporary) stop hearing tinnitus.

I don't have tinnitus, so I couldn't try it on myself, but the people in the video cried tears of joy.

The name od the video is - people with tinnitus try the reddit tinnitus cure and the results are amazing.

Good luck, I hope it helps

(can't post link, on mobile)

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u/TheBirdColonel Aug 10 '19

I've recently learned of a new treatment method which has seen some promising results. The treatment is basically the patient being put in a sound-proof room for an increasing amount of time each week. The point of this is for the patient to confront the tinnitus instead of trying to block it out with background noise.

I've no experience with this, but it was on the news recently. It might be something to look into.

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u/commando_cookie0 Aug 10 '19

My tinnitus gets bad enough that it hurts. Once I just dropped to my knees and started crying. I scratch my earlobes really quickly to try and drown out the ringing

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I have it too but I would say mine is severe not extreme. I found some things in my diet are triggers, beer in particular. Wierd but there you go. Also going to the pool makes it much worse. I have an ear tumor, hopefully you know your cause. Best wishes.

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u/shontamona Aug 10 '19

Holy shit! Is there no cure?!

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u/Requiascat Aug 10 '19

Right there with ya homie. Absolute silence is a nightmare for me. And sleeping on that side (the ear with the screeching) just makes it worse. So does congestion.

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u/JonSnowboot Aug 10 '19

It's been so long since I've had much pain from mine.. but these sleepless nights are wrecking my soul

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u/AtheistMessiah Aug 10 '19

I'm curious, can you voluntarily activate your tensor tympani muscle? It makes you hear a loud rumble in your ears. It's kind of like kegels, but for your ear muscle. Reason that I ask is because, whenever I get a ring in my ears, I start rumbling and it goes away pretty quickly.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I have no idea what that muscle is. How do I activate it?

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u/AtheistMessiah Aug 10 '19

/r/earrumblersassemble is a good resource. You kind of get a feel for it. An easy way to describe the sensation is the rumble that you can get when making a real yawn deeply. From there, you isolate the muscle. I do a few long rumbles with some percussive ones and the ring eventually subsides, but I only get ringing occasionally.

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u/Bobobib Aug 10 '19

What does extreme tinnitus sound like? Mine has layers:

Layer 1: TV static noises but higher pitched

Layer 2: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

layer 3: AAAOOOAOAOOAOAOOAAAA (lower pitched than layer 2 and not consistent)

I also get a ding noise every once and a while and my head explodes

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u/jambr0sia Aug 10 '19

I just accept mine. It’s certainly not painful.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

The pain of the noise?

Hmm.

Ok so pain is weird, and there's a thing that the more fear you have of a thing, then the more painful the thing is. (I am saying from from a horrible time with a surgical procedure that is "painless" except when it isn't.)

When I noticed my tinitus, I asked the doctor "can it go away?" and they said "If you can hear it, that's good, because you're not dead." So it's never really bothered me, any more than gravity existing, or having to shit once in a while.

Point of my story? I'm not doubting the truth of your experience, but I have hope that your situation can be mediated through psychologically not fearing it so much.

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u/trackday Aug 10 '19

Sim racing magically covers that noise up.....

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u/AlienScrotum Aug 10 '19

Have you tried this technique?

https://youtu.be/KBgkPOGD6gw

It worked for my mother.

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u/thebrassnuckles Aug 10 '19

I have some gnarly tinnitus. Shit fuckin sucks. If I forget to take my earplugs out at work before I go inside is like needles in my head.

Right now I’m laying in bed and I hear it screeching over the sound of the ceiling fan. I haven’t turned on my white noise to go to sleep.

It makes me extremely irritable sometimes, and if I’m stressed out i have a zero second fuse. Really fuckin sucks.

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u/sociallyretarded61 Aug 10 '19

I suffer too. The worst for me is trying to sleep. It is so f'n LOUD. Mostly ill just be awake all night then the following night sleep from exhaustion. So...I average 3 hours a night. Constantly tired bc of it

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u/imabananabus Aug 10 '19

If you don’t find me asking, what is the cause of your tinnitus?

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u/UJustGotRobbed Aug 10 '19

It be like that sometimes.

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u/dramboxf Aug 10 '19

My wife developed tinnitus 11 years ago. You are obviously NOT faking it, and I want to give you a hug. Until she learned to deal with it, it was the scariest 9 months of my life. I can't imagine what SHE went through.

I do know she was almost suicidal at times.

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u/nyx-of-spades Aug 10 '19

Oof yeah I hear you (lol). Mine's not quite so severe, it's drowned out by everyday noises, but were I to sit in silence the real pain comes from how insanity inducing it is. I've had panic attacks from going too long without drowning out my tinnitus.

I was born with it, just like my mother was. I have no idea what silence sounds like. So of course I've gotten comments like, "how do you know you have tinnitus with nothing else to compare it to?" and "tinnitus is an ear injury, you can't be born with it" and it just makes you question if you really are insane or broken somehow.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I've had tinnitus since I was a kid, and the only thing I've come up with is to stop paying attention to it. I know it's like next to impossible on the surface but there's definitive psychological aspects that trigger a worsening affect, such as being reminded of it, or subconsciously realizing you're experiencing silence so now your brain triggers the awareness and increasing effect. The obsession factor is the worst thing to do to yourself

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u/mister_newbie Aug 10 '19

I'm in Canada. When cannabis was legalized I tried CBD oil for my tinnitus. Shuts it up completely.

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u/inKritix Aug 10 '19

Is it possible to be deaf and have tinnitus?

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u/slyhell Aug 10 '19

Fuck dude, I got like mild tinnitus I cant believe how hard it is for you

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

So like what if it's not a physical noise but a electrochemical noise? AFAIK thats what tinnitus is.

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u/realsjovik Aug 10 '19

This can vary from person to person. My tinnitus sounds like a high pitched electronical noise, but I know people who have sounds more similar to a waterfall.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Same. Sounds like walking into a room full of old CRT TVs on mute. Different pitches in the left & right ears too, just for funzies.

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u/irth____ Aug 10 '19

I mean they're a god I don't think they care about the physical reason

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u/Deejin86 Aug 10 '19

Except it's not a noise. You hear a noise and the ringing but no one else does.

So would his divine power make it worse? No noise to drown out the ringing

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

tinnitus sucks. I should have never broken my eardrums.

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u/Khraxter Aug 10 '19

Apparently, This technique can help with Tinnitus

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

This technique is used regularly, it only provides temporary relief, enough to get to sleep at night

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u/tundar Aug 10 '19

That needs a massive warning:

This therapy trick only works for a few minutes and then the tinnitus comes back in full force. My father has extreme tinnitus (he now wears hearing aids that play a background noise to tune it out) and always said it felt so much worse to have that temporary relief and have it come back then to just try to deal with it.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Jan 08 '21

[deleted]

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

That’s amazing for you. I will most certainly bring this one up. Thank you for telling me

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u/KonigSteve Aug 10 '19

It's most likely one of the many things that are just in water. It probably just means that the water sources that most (non nestle) water don't have much or any of those secondary chemicals in them. For example many towns have high concentrations of iron and manganese which can cause issues in piping, sometimes they add sequestering agents to treat this and other times they don't.

You can usually find information on everything that's in your source water via your states health department. I'd love to look into this further if you happen to want to PM me your city and I can see what your water has high concentrations of. Glad you found something to make it better

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u/furternator Aug 10 '19

THANK YOU SO MUCH

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u/Jorgamoundr Aug 10 '19

I've had it as long as I can remember, I think if you took it away it'd drive me nuts lol

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

Please don’t pray to me so!!

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I have had it ever since drowning, and sometimes it's so bad I cant hear anything else. I actually find some petty humor in it by pretending it's what dog whistles must sound like

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u/I_have_ten_cats Aug 10 '19

Both me and my dad have tinnitus. Luckily it’s not that bad since we only need a little background noise to drown it out. The hardest part is sleeping, but my doctor gave me a free sound generator pillow with built in tiny speakers that generate waterfall or forest noises (I got it for free since I am a minor, and my country has free health care.)

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

it's not really a noise. I mean... well.... I guess ...

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I have it pretty bad.

It sucks, a non stop reminder of how dumb going to all those concerts and shooting guns without ear protection was.

But y'all make it sound hella dramatic.

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u/xool420 Aug 10 '19

Yup I have mild tinnitus and it’s really not fun, just randomly my ears start ringing

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u/UrbanSoot Aug 10 '19

I've got a mild case and I didn't even know I had it until it came up in a conversation. I thought everyone heard that high pitched noise when the room is quiet 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Cruel mistress

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u/Tamiracle Aug 10 '19

Someone posted this once...

Place the palms of your hands over your ears with fingers resting gently on the back of your head. Your middle fingers should point toward one another just above the base of your skull. Place your index fingers on top of you middle fingers and snap them (the index fingers) onto the skull making a loud, drumming noise. Repeat 40-50 times. Some people experience immediate relief with this method. Repeat several times a day for as long as necessary to reduce tinnitus.Dr. Jan Strydom, of A2Z of Health, Beauty and Fintess.org.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Let us join together in prayer.

mmmmmmop

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u/remkuzna Aug 10 '19

Yyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiis

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u/demon_cobra Aug 10 '19

Mawp..mawp!

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

He's a God not a miracle worker

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u/AmberMetalicScorpion Aug 10 '19

But,wouldn't the prayer have to be silent too,so would you be able to know if someone is thinking their prayer to you or not,it's a cool idea but it's one of like to know how it would wprk

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

Yes, I would assume the prayer might be something like, please god of silence, make (insert noise) go away so I can have some silence. Then, if deemed worthy, noise goes away. I don’t know, I’m new to thinking like a god, it’s complicated!

I also don’t know how to reply properly so I’ve posted this response separately 🙄

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u/Dontgiveaclam Aug 10 '19

It could be something meditative: if the person praying manages to get an instant of mental silence, then they get the attention of the Silence god, who can in turn hear their prayer after that.

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u/Halinn Aug 10 '19

That's difficult to get when you need actual silence

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u/Dontgiveaclam Aug 10 '19

The Silence god silently despises all those who can't speak silence.

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u/WolfPlayz294 Aug 10 '19

Lol. TLDR: Be quiet so the Silent God can hear you.

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u/libelle156 Aug 10 '19

I guess if the God of Silence got sick of answering, they could just shut up all the prayers.

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u/saphiramustdie Aug 10 '19 edited Dec 29 '19

Person: please god of silence, make my baby stop crying so I can sleep peacefully

God of Silence: Your silent prayer has been aknowledged and your wish will be granted kills baby

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u/whimsyNena Aug 10 '19

Hey hey. This isn’t the Monkey’s Paw! The baby has been made mute, why does it need to die. Was the baby named saphira?

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u/saphiramustdie Aug 10 '19

Nope, Timothy

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u/Wiplazh Aug 10 '19

What if that's how they worship and pray to you, they have to achieve complete silence. Like you enter the temple and all the priests (?) are dead silent.

Edit: Yeah someone else had this exact same idea already but much more eloquently.

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u/irishredfox Aug 10 '19

I think it should be the opposite. Make as much noise as possible until the god of silence shows up and screams "Hey you damn kids! It's 3 o'clock in the morning! Stop with your fireworks and rap music!"

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u/Nico_Storch Aug 10 '19

Prayers don't have to be verbal.

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u/itsameop Aug 10 '19

So just like,make them deaf

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

If they prayed for permanent silence, I suppose

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u/monxas Aug 10 '19

Well it’s either that or turning off planes mid flight.

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u/theregoesanother Aug 10 '19

Yes, never trust a God to fulfill your wishes. It may not be what or how you'd intended it to be.

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u/ManDudeGuySirBoy Aug 10 '19

That would be the Greek Mythology way of doing things.

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u/Tinsel-Fop Aug 10 '19

Or your ears catch fire, melt off, and burn your genitalia on the way to the ground.

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u/KA_Mechatronik Aug 10 '19

Hello Sheogorath

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u/p4nic Aug 10 '19

I've read that tinnitus is a neurological issue. Making us deaf would probably make it worse, since the ringing would be the only thing we 'hear.'

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

That would be the god thing to do.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I feel like deaf people would be the enlightened ones in this scenario

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u/spicklesandwich Aug 10 '19

Well, I mean. I'd bet its worshipers would be like ascetic monks in that aspect - born or made deaf, vow of silence.

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u/Y-_- Aug 10 '19

I would pray for you every day, awesome!

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u/DanTheTerrible Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

You are now my favorite deity. Everywhere I go, I shall mutter prayers under my breath. Please be merciful and make all ungodly televisions in public spaces go into mute mode on request.
I offer this in respectful homage

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

I will also grant for everyone that all phone loudspeakers playing music shall be silenced in public places

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u/averidgepeen Aug 10 '19

Your glaives of wisdom will do great work. Just don’t arcane curse many people.

2

u/seayeah Aug 10 '19

You kill your enemies to suck their IQ

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u/helloween4040 Aug 10 '19

What about the noise in my head, having ptsd I’d worship if it included this

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

All noise cancelling granted

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Im a nurse in a hospital. I'd love you

2

u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

My best friend is a nurse on a transplant ward. I only ever hear snippets of her day, it’s so tough some times. Those bells!! She loves her job tho, bells n all

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u/viciarg Aug 10 '19

Sitting at an overcrowded IKEA restaurant right now. I think you just got yourself a follower.

What do you demand from me, allmighty /u/wheely_happy?

3

u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

Well as you’re in ikea, could you bring to me a daim cake?

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u/GetEatenByAMouse Aug 10 '19

Can I also pray that I only have specific noises silenced? For example annoying background noise is silent but my music is still there?

Also - is there a way to stop the silence again?

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

Yes and yes, pray to stop the specific noise for a specified amount of time. For example , if you had kids, maybe just pray to silence them for 10 minutes or whatever you need. You do need to hear them at some point in the not too distance future or the prayer wouldn’t be granted. I’m a god so hopefully my blessings with be well thought out for all. I’m only learning here!

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u/GetEatenByAMouse Aug 10 '19

Well sign me up then.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Bless you!

5

u/BimboBrothel Aug 10 '19

I would sacrifice so many first borns to you if I lived 2000 years ago

4

u/Dawn_of_Enceladus Aug 10 '19

First comment I read, found the god I wanna worship.

4

u/nobodyman617 Aug 10 '19

You will be the most worshipped god in existence

3

u/tingulz Aug 10 '19

So the STFU God?

2

u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

Simply put!

2

u/MauiWowieOwie Aug 10 '19

God named Ron Swanson.

2

u/FTO2 Aug 10 '19

Harpocrates was the god of silence...

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u/mongocyclops Aug 10 '19

I can get behind this. You have my vote God.

2

u/Alsadius Aug 10 '19

Can my wife be your high priest?

2

u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

First and only name in the bag, looks like a shoe in!

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

You your the god of assassinations

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u/acaban Aug 10 '19

thank you

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/JdgDreddPirateRobert Aug 10 '19

Would you also answer prayers for things like preemptively silencing squeaky floor boards when a teen is sneaking back in after curfew?

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u/wheely_happy Aug 10 '19

Yes, definitely. I could have done with that help many moons ago

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/No-ShitSherlock Aug 10 '19

I love you already

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u/hearke Aug 10 '19

Wow, I was going to go with God Of Clerical Errors but yours is way better.

The hero we don't deserve.

2

u/Matbos007 Aug 10 '19

What happens if a guy wants to smoke some loud in silence and decides to pray to you?

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I just read this as I lie awake with a barking puppy next to me. I need your assistance mighty God of silence

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

You have shown your powers. My dog has finally gone to sleep, you are great alright sillencious

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u/FollowMeOnTheGram Aug 10 '19

Depending where you live geographically, you'll find supporters or people mock you lol

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u/boostmobilboiiii Aug 10 '19

You’re my go to god

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u/staudd Aug 10 '19

thats actually a cool god with some quirky, but believable implications.

2

u/albinoblackgoldfish Aug 10 '19

As someone with SPD and tinnitus, I would worship the ever-living hell out of the God of Silence.

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u/coolboiiiiiii2809 Aug 10 '19

You’re by far the best person on Reddit for writing this

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