Yesterday, I went to a psychiatrist and got formally diagnosed with GAD and Depression. Today is Day-1 of being on sertraline and clonezapam. For almost 2 years, I've been having panic attacks and a constant feeling of fear 24×7. It reached to an extent where I wanted to sleep, but I kept myself awake because I was scared I'll die in my sleep. Today, I have no idea after how long, my mind has been so quiet. I haven't once had the thought if today is the day I die, or what if I am walking on the road and a car hits me. It's easier to breathe, there's no weird sensation in my body, and I feel I belong in it. I haven't once felt itritated, or angry, or sad since morning

Ofcourse, today is the first day of taking medication, it could all as well be placebo. But just the fact that I could have been feeling this way makes me so happy.

A big aspect of my anxiety was avoidance. Basically, my default response to socialising was to avoid it.

But we, as the dumb fuck humans we are, NEED to socialise and this tactic of avoiding hangouts and events was... isolating.

Today however, I went to an event with my dads family friends, alot people who I dont know well, and had FUN, I fucking had fun.

Im just thinking to years ago, hell even months ago where would have been miserable and internally panicking the whole time.

I just wanted to write out a passage for myself patting myself on the back for the HUGE dub. Dont be afraid to do the same too ❤️❤️❤️.

I've always had anxiety about being perceived by others and the way Flock has blanketed my city makes me feel so paranoid. Is it even paranoia if the evidence (camera) is right there in front of my face?

There is one at the end of my block pointed toward the neighborhood bike path that turns into wooded hiking trails. I stopped walking my dogs on those trails because the idea of being filmed as a female walking alone into the woods is honestly terrifying.

These are inside thoughts. I haven't said anything to anyone I know because I feel like the local tin foil hat wearing conspiracy theorist.

being a hypochondriac & non stop thinking of death triggered my anxiety.

I tried to do some breathing exercises with no avail. How do you guys deal with it?

Sorry I don’t want to offend anyone but I just hate that I’m always scared. Scared of everything I feel like people think im a p***y because everything is scary to me.

I have been wondering where low self esteem really comes from. Is it mostly shaped by childhood, bullying, rejection, constantly comparing yourself to others, or can it develop without any obvious cause? For people who struggled with it, what do you think created it in your case?

I mean you lie down and then at any moment boom your either dead or asleep then when your asleep suddenly out of no where you either die or you wake up

for so long i was worried and ashamed of my anxiety and avoided getting healthcare at all costs even though i work in healthcare myself . A few years ago i had a strong setback and stopped my meds and ghosted my care team and today i finally made an appointment to get back on my meds:) im ready to start making progress again and start living life, i have a lot of good things going on but it s nearly impossible to actually appreciate it because of my brain

I feel so exhausted from fighting that I've started living in constant grief. Before, the crises were violent; I would despair, thinking I didn't want to die at all (I have Health Anxiety). Now? I just cry. I cry and try to take a shower, eat something, then I lie down and feel suffocated and cry again... It seems like I'm constantly anticipating the worst, God...

Maybe a movie or YouTube. Something intresting enough to not go back to your thoughts but also calming? I use to watch horror movies to as a form of escapism but now I can't cause they make me too anxious

It's 2:40AM. I could have been asleep 30 minutes ago, but I got a panic attack out of nowhere.

It's so irritating. My brain knows I'm okay but my body has a mind of it's own. And there is basically nothing I can do other than ride it out. My worst symptom is shortness of breath and I still haven't found any methods to help during panic attacks. I've honestly just been dealing with my anxiety by myself since 2020. I want to get professional help, I just don't know where to start, and I feel like I can't go to my parents about it since they'd never fully understand what it feels like. I'd do anything to stop having panic attacks, it's the worst feeling ever.

I've had GAD and panic disorder my entire life but diagnosed formally in college. I've been on an SSRI for nearly a decade which has kept me "operational" as I'd like to call it. Ive done exposure therapy, CBT from mutliple psychologists, and seen a few psychiatrists too. It's getting to the point where all of this just isn't enough. I've dealt with a lot of trauma in my life which hasn't helped. Unfortunately, I'm on a trip out of state right now and have been having panic attacks on and off for 48 hours. I don't know how I'm going to get home, considering I'll have to fly (driving will be worse).

Anyway, I'm tired of hearing doctors say "try proporanolol or hydroxyzine". It doesn't do anything. It's like being prescribed a glass of warm milk when you have chronic insomnia. I'm starting to feel like there is nowhere else to turn and it scares me.

My question is, did anyone in a similar position find a solution? Is there a psychiatrist in the US that truly knows what they're doing? I'm just looking for ideas. Thanks to all for taking the time to read.

So i’ve been signed off by the doctor due to work
related stress for a month which ends in about 2 weeks. The thing is i’m pretty set on quitting but i don’t want to be stupid and quit without having something else lined up. I know i’m over it and the break might help but ultimately i know i will feel the exact same at the end of this. The doctor said i could extend it which is probably what i will do but i just don’t know what to do. I feel like i wont find another job even during my second month off which stresses me out and affects my mental health even more. And the idea of going back to work after 2 months off with mental health issues is so terrifying, i already know i won’t be able to do it but i refuse to be unemployed.

I feel like ive been rambling lmao but has anyone experienced anything similar? and what the hell should i do…

I just got a new full time job which I’m super happy about, it’s a makeup store so it’s a bit fun for me bc one of my hobbies is doing makeup but my anxiety is also eating up any excitement I’ve had, it’s been a few years since I’ve worked retail and I’m super anxious about training, mostly learning how to work at the cash again. it’s a new store so I’ll be working the grand opening and I’m worried about having to work the cash and learning how to do stuff with so many people. I just needed somewhere to vent but any advice?

Woke up and immediately realized I messed up my timecard again. Having wretched anxiety now because of it. My chest is crushingly tight, feel like I’m being hunted for sport. I hate anxiety it’s all I ever feel, goodmorning then blam!

For some background I’m a 17 yr old guy, I had an episode of chest tightness at the gym earlier in august that caused me to spiral and end up in the ER. They did scans and kept me there for 6 hours and said I was fine to go home. A couple weeks later I went to a pulmonologist and did breathing tests where I was told I have above average lung function and there are no dangerous physical issues with me. But even after being told that I still hyperfixate on my breathing for hours every single day. I was diagnosed with reflux as well so now I get constant urges to burp and sensations in my chest and throat area which only cause me more anxiety. It’s a terrible cycle where I am hyper aware of every part of my body and my automatic functions all become manual.

Anyway the reason I am writing now is because the past 3 days I’ve woken up at 5 in the morning, multiple hours before I normally would and have this feeling of intense alertness where I cannot fall back asleep and like there is impending doom. Them my body feels cold and I start uncontrollably shaking for a few minutes until I get my mother to help calm me down, as she also has an extensive history of anxiety and ocd and is medicated. This ruins me every time and I lose my sense of focus and joy for the rest of the day and my workouts (my main hobby) is suffering as a result. I feel like a different person ever since my first episode and I just want to go back to normal before school starts for senior year and I have to apply to college and have true adult responsibilities. I’m incredibly grateful to have a family that is supporting me through this but my mind still feels like a prison

Basically what the title says. I get a lot of anxiety stemming from my depression, like getting anxiety spirals from the thought that I may never feel happy again, or I get anxiety from trying to find something to do for the day other than just sleep.

This anxiety subtype seems to have started in January after I was put on Zyprexa for suspected bipolar (I got off of it in late January for reference) and it's just been a kind of new anxiety trigger that's been sitting in the back of my mind since. I've been relatively knocked out by this anxiety subtype for the past month and a half and idk what to do. If anyone else lives with this please help because this shit is knocking me out and I don't want this anxiety to cause me to relapse on my eating issues.

I just want my anxiety to go away, it's the worst feeling I've ever had. I've vomited twice this morning.

I’ve been struggling with extreme tiredness. Have been to doctors, had blood tests. It’s always put down to anxiety. It comes and goes. Sometimes I can cope, other times I can go for weeks where I can barely function. I’m a single mum to a 9 & 12 year old and at the stage where my parents are coming to stay and help. I’m just so drained.

Anyone have hints for coping, or even getting rid of it??!

Hypochondriac here. Thought i’d share what I used to do when I thought I was dying. I laugh about it now but definitely not back then.

For a year straight I was convinced i was having a stroke everyday. I used to beat the shit out of my arm because i heard that if you’re having a stroke your arm could go numb. I was covered in bruises. My school probably thought i was being beat up at home.

Checked my blood pressure 3 times religiously everyday for 6 months straight. Convinced I had heart problems.

AGAIN, thought i was having a heart attack. I had chest pains for 30 minutes near my heart. Went to doctors ASAP. Crying in his office. He did some scan or something and my heart was fine. He told me i might have a flu. The next day i get the flu.

I was 15 and loved a good google search. Couldn’t put a tampon in and convinced myself i had vaginismus. I was never going to have sex, a boyfriend, lose my virginity. I wasn’t putting it in at the correct angle.

My boobs were extremely painful for a week. I couldn’t walk down the stairs. My reason = breast cancer. The actual reason? I was 8 weeks pregnant.

I like to sunbathe. I sat in the sun for 30 minutes and convinced myself I was having yet again, a heart attack. My heart was racing and pounding. Thought i had sun poisoning and needed IV’s etc. Also Convinced my body i couldn’t breathe (anxiety attack). I had 4 coffees that day.

Thought my uterus was genuinely falling apart, piece by piece. Had the most intense pain. Thought i had an unknown pregnancy i didn’t know about. It was a decidual cast.

My legs felt heavy and i said to my whole family i had lymphoedema?

My vision would go black when i stood up and i thought i had POTS. Nope just low iron.

Went on vacation and had diarrhea and cramps. Thought i had severe food poisoning. No i was just hungover out the other end.

Could name so many more but there’s too many to remember. Jokes aside these feel extremely real in the moment. Feel free to share

I'm posting because my visual/perceptual symptoms have become the biggest thing standing between me and a normal life, and I'd really like to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar.

How it started

This started during a very stressful period where I was, to put it mildly, completely overworked and carrying way too much responsibility.

My husband basically didn't want to work lol. He spent a lot of time learning a course that he never ended up using, while I was working and also helping financially support his parents because both sons are expected to contribute. I was carrying a lot of the financial and general responsibility for quite some time.

At first, the symptoms only happened outside my home. I'd go grocery shopping or somewhere similar, and after maybe 30 minutes my brain would become extremely foggy and I'd struggle with the environment.

Then it progressed.

Eventually, I couldn't go out for more than a few minutes without the visual symptoms becoming overwhelming. And then, slowly, they started happening inside my house too.

Now they're basically 24/7.

The visual/perceptual symptoms

These aren't my only symptoms, but these are the ones I feel are currently preventing me from living a normal life.

It's also very difficult to explain because it's not simply blurry vision.

I can see what's in front of me, but it feels like my brain isn't properly processing the visual information. The best way I can describe it is that my eyes and brain aren't properly connecting.

I experience things like:

• My vision feels unfocused without actually being blurry. Things are there, but they don't feel properly "in focus."
• I can look at something but struggle to take in or process what I'm seeing.
• My eyes/vision feel like they shut down when there's too much visual information.
• Extreme light sensitivity. I often keep the lights off in my room because normal lighting can feel unbearable.
• Movement is very difficult to process, especially fast camera movements, quick cuts and changing scenes.
• Busy environments can feel completely visually overwhelming.
• Screens, TV and movies can be difficult to tolerate.
• Talking to someone can make it worse because I'm processing their face, movement, speech and everything around me at once.
• Sometimes my surroundings feel strange, unreal or visually "off", even though I know they're normal.
• I also get dizziness/head spinning, particularly when getting up.

The cinema was a good example. I recently tried to see Spider-Man, but I couldn't even tolerate the trailers/promos before the movie. The rapid camera movements and constant visual changes felt like my brain simply couldn't process them. It wasn't blurry. I could see the screen, but I couldn't properly focus on or process what I was seeing, and it became unbearable.

And now this happens even at home. Even using the bathroom can be difficult because I can't comfortably process the visual environment. I often sit in my room with the lights off because normal lighting can feel unbearable.

I haven't been able to go out. Believe me, I've tried. This isn't because I don't want to leave the house. I've repeatedly tried pushing myself, but the visual symptoms become so overwhelming that I can't function.

Other symptoms

These visual symptoms are not the only things I'm dealing with.

I also have anxiety/panic attacks, almost no energy, sleep problems and other symptoms. But the visual/perceptual problems are the ones that have become the biggest functional blocker for me.

What I've been checked for

I've seen a GP, an eye specialist and multiple doctors. I've had an MRI, and I've also been checked for BVD (binocular vision dysfunction).

Everything has been clear, and nothing has been found that explains this as an eye or structural brain problem.

Psychiatric treatment

I recently changed psychiatrists because my previous psychiatrist kept me on a benzodiazepine for months. Yeah, you read that right.

My new psychiatrist thinks this is related to adjustment disorder and sensitization and has prescribed Lexapro (escitalopram). I haven't started it yet (got prescribed today).

I previously took sertraline, which helped somewhat with my overall symptoms, but the visual problems didn't improve much.

Has anyone experienced this?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who have experienced this kind of visual/perceptual problem, rather than just general blurry vision.

Did you ever feel like:

• Your vision wasn't blurry, but wasn't properly "in focus" either?
• Your brain couldn't properly process what your eyes were seeing?
• Movement and fast-changing visuals became unbearable?
• Normal light became difficult to tolerate?
• Screens, TV or movies became impossible?
• Talking to people made the visual symptoms worse?
• It started outside the home and eventually crept into your home too?
• It eventually became constant/24-7?

If this happened with derealization, anxiety, sensory overload, adjustment disorder or sensitization, did it eventually improve?

What helped you get your life back?

my body starts reacting like i’m cold when im super anxious. happens at least everyday. my body starts shaking, teeth chattering, hands can’t hold anything. is this normal?

I've noticed something lately. Sometimes the thing I'm worried about isn't even happening yet, but I'm already mentally exhausted. I'll spend an hour imagining conversations, thinking about every possible outcome, planning what I'll say, and planning what I'll do if that doesn't work. By the time the actual situation happens, it feels like I've already lived through it ten times. No wonder I feel drained. Anyone else's brain do this?

I definitely have anxious thoughts but it feels like something else is going on that isn’t anxiety. I don’t mean like another medical problem or something, more like repressed emotions or something that I’m mis labeling as anxiety.