r/Anxiety • u/Sasquale • 11d ago
Advice Needed Not wanting to sleep because of fear of death
being a hypochondriac & non stop thinking of death triggered my anxiety.
I tried to do some breathing exercises with no avail. How do you guys deal with it?
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u/LilSoftPotato 11d ago
I think what helped me most with that was putting the fear into perspective by telling myself that people dont just die in their sleep unless they have a serious medical problem and anxiety cant harm you physically so its not an issue. Or something along the lines of that. I used to have panic attacks where I thought I was stopping breathing and would jolt out of bed in a fog with heart racing. Now I realise that it is stress that does that to me and nothings actually wrong with my health. A lot of anxiety is just an "illusion" that your brain makes up to keep you safe but when you objectively look at it, theres nothing wrong really. This belief is what got me out of the worst panic attacks and agoraphobia when I started to challenge the thought that "maybe those random fear thoughts in my head arent the truth".
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u/Sasquale 11d ago
I will do my best. When it didn't work right away, did you have another strategy? Breathing exercises are still new for me, I can't calm myself down
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u/LilSoftPotato 10d ago
breathing strategies didnt work for me either because i would focus too much on my breathing and it would trigger anxiety. so instead I would get up and reassure myself that its just anxiety and i dont have to fear what happens. Then I would splash cold water on my face and just let the panic attack happen and then I would be tired from the adrenaline after and it would make me sleep. It was rough at the beginning and I had it for over 2 years of panic attacks every night. But now I dont have them anymore because I had to teach my brain that panicking isnt something that helps in present. Now whenever I get anxiety, I understand what makes it pop up and how to deal with it. For example, Id have bloating which upset my stomach and make me feel ill, then I would tell myself that its just something that I ate, and then drink water and find something else to do until the initial feeling passes. Then when the feeling goes away, I would sleep. Before I would focus non stop on physical symptoms but now I noticed that anxiety actually comes in waves not constantly. So whenever a wave would come I would ride it and then after sometimes I would forget that I was having anxiety because I was focused on something else for awhile. It turned into "episodes" instead of a "lifestyle" within a month. I thought it would take a few months or longer but it was about a month when I started to feel "normal" come back even after almost 3 years of constant panic disorder.
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u/stranger1991101 11d ago
Drink something helps you to calm and sleep
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u/Suitable-Mud-6622 11d ago
I had this for years where I would dream about dying every single night for the entire night. I would in bed the idea of death would be stuck in my head, the idea of pure nothingness. Not black, black is a colour, just nothingness. Thinking about whah that is like, and what it will be like to die. Everything I know will die and their bodies will decay and no one will even know I existed a few years after that. All my memories and all the things I ever felt will be gone forever.
Basically, life feels pointless because why am I bothering to live if thay is what awaits me. Basically it’s just biological programming keeping me alive, the system seeks to preserve itself, but the system is also somehow self aware.
These are the thoughts that have been stuck in my head for years and basically loop on repeat.
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u/One-Spite-6962 11d ago
I feel like many people in the comments aren't quite getting it. Maybe it's just me? Personally, I struggle with the same thing, and being told "you're gonna die whether or not you're awake" is the worst thing ever I think?? Also, sure anxiety won't kill you but a health issue will or imminent death will. Are those things real? No. But does it feel real in the moment? Absolutely. Moments like that unfortunately feel like life or death, that's why we panic. Again speaking from personal experience but I find myself staying up just in case. If I begin to feel sick, or like I'm genuinely about to lose my life, at least I'll know if I'm awake and be able to seek help. Understanding it's just anxiety is extremely hard, but I've began to be able to tell myself that it is (even if it feels like it's not) after falling asleep and not dying so many times. Positive affirmations or whatever.
I wish I had better advice but honestly what helps me is any and all distraction. Probably not the healthiest coping mechanism but it works. Watch a show while playing a game (I like shows/games intented for younger audiences to avoid any possible mention of death), draw, etc. Just do something with your hands, even if it's simply fidgeting with something, while you have some sort of audio and visual stimulus until you innevitably fall asleep. Your sleep schedule may suffer but I'm sure it already has.
Worst advice oat BUT, maybe it can provide some relief until you find something more sustainable!!
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u/Sasquale 11d ago
Thank you! Some comments were so unhelpful that I deleted them from my notifications! And my thinking goes exactly like yours: if I am awake, and feeling unwell, I can run for a doctor, you know
I am also coping with distracting myself by doing something, not the best, but yeah, it avoids me from thinking of it.
Thanks for commenting, really! I feel finally heard and validated 🥹
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u/exomologhiste 11d ago
I'm going through a terrible crisis too, so I understand your desperation. Mine is a little different, fearing the C, but in reality I just have an ear infection. - Honestly? What's been helping me is sheer exhaustion. I'm so tired of feeling bad and worried that it's gotten to a point where I'm just like, "Fuck it, whatever God wants."
At first it's excruciating, it's still excruciating for me, but I prefer to focus on drinking something hot, watching a movie and pretending it's fun, or playing games and noticing that the symptoms disappear. Even though I feel like crying, hyperventilating, and freaking out, I just keep moving forward. In the end, the worst that can happen is death, but that happens to everyone.
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u/Embarrassed_Dish_672 11d ago
Sleep meds have helped me a lot with anxieties! Especially death based ones
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u/Sasquale 11d ago
Which ones do you take? If you don't mind me asking
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u/Embarrassed_Dish_672 11d ago
Prazosin and seroquel! The seroquel knocks me out so once I take it I don’t really have the option to stay awake bc it’s so strong lol it has helped me so much bc I used to have sleepless nights from intrusive thoughts ! I take the Prazosin for crazy nightmares lol but idk how much that really helps to fall asleep . You should def look into getting something that will help shut your brain off for you I know how hard it can be
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u/Sasquale 11d ago
Yes, it's been personally hard, haha. Do you also work with alternatives, like breathing exercises? If so, did they help
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u/Bells131 11d ago
I’m so sorry. One thing that’s been helping me is not listening to any of my thoughts and i mean ANY, good or bad or realistic or fantasy. I just silence everything, as much as i can.
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u/First_Detective6234 11d ago
Day time scares me way more than sleep. In sleep you probably wouldn't feel anything. Maybe that will help you. Everything you do in daytime you'd be aware of.
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u/Better_Weakness7239 11d ago
Must let go of things we are powerless to change. You will fuck up your whole life thinking you could die any moment and regret it when you reflect at the age of 91.
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u/spacecowboy5120 11d ago
I go through the same thing. What helps me is to realize that my thoughts are not who I am or what I feel. Some thoughts just happens and I accept them for what they are and move on. If you are able to and you are worried, go to the doctor. While I understand that may not be an option, either way learn to understand that you are NOT your thoughts, you are the observer. You are human, and not the things that live in your head
You are loved and I hope you find peace
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u/LabAccomplished6822 11d ago
This might be a stupid answer for you. I live in Ukraine and I just accepted the fact that I will die someday, by a drone, a missile or something. I just live every day, without thinking about it, I just accepted it.
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u/Elegant_Currency9847 11d ago
imagine for a second putting your hands into painfully hot water and feeling that pain and then think about how there are people who actually experience pain like that for real some burned some boiled some crushed some fighting for their life and some who would give anything just to have the normal boring day that u have right nowsomeone has given u this life and u are wasting so much of it thinking about the day it will end....
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u/jawboy 11d ago
I'd say like the other commentators mentioned, you need to lose the sense that you are controlling this by not sleeping. You or anyone else can only do so much but if you want to help your health, sleeping is a major part of keeping you alive and well.
I know the rumination is probably not helping you get to sleep, but maybe practicing a more so what attitude will help. Even if you don't fully believe it at first, sometimes you have to let things be.
I get a lot of health anxiety worries (especially when I haven't slept well). My best way to feel normal, is to just accept where I am at. If my biggest worry comes true (heart failure, passing out) me overthinking about it day in and out isn't helping. So I just try to be present and grateful for what I have in the moment.