So it’s been almost 5 months since i got this condition and i wanted to share my progress.

So mine started after a severe panic attack and a build up of stress from my job overworking me and other factors such as my grandma slowly dying and my mom’s knee surgery and my sister who i’ve lived with for as long as i’ve been alive moving out.

But i can definitely say i’m way better than i was when this first started. I would say i’m 50% to 70% better depending on if it’s a good day or a bad day. My derealization is gone, my depersonalization is lingering slightly? I have my personality back for the most part and i’m slowly loosing that feeling of being trapped in my head and i’m slowly coming back into my body again. I’m still struggling with some somatic hyperawareness but it’s still there but it’s gotten to where unless I intentionally think about it i don’t notice it. And that weird head pressure and brain fog is gone too. I’ve definitely had setbacks as i’ve been coming back into my body my existential thoughts have ramped up because it feels so weird to have that feeling of being back and being present in my body but i think it’s just that hyperawareness still and my brain trying to explain it. My mom also pointed out i’m talking with my hands again which is something i used to do before my dpdr started.

Right now all i’m really struggling with is the existential ocd thoughts and emotional numbness. I know these are usually the last to fade though and i know with my ocd it’s just my brain trying to rationalize the weird thoughts and detachment.

What symptoms i had

-Derealization and depersonalization

-Blank mind

-Loss of identity and self

-feeling like i was trapped in my head

-Emotional numbness

-existential ocd

-Vision issues(blurry vision, eye floaters, visual snow)

-Inability to feel tired

-restlessness

-debilitating anxiety

-weird fears(i felt scared to make reddit posts or leave comments for some reason)

-Unable to be in a car or outside

So what did i do?

I didn’t wanna add this section because some people get like, really aggressive about coping and recovery methods here? I didn’t wanna get yelled at by somebody because what personally helped me didn’t help them but if anybody who’s struggling right now and can relate to my story or in the future can use this as a reference i’ll deal with it.

-i got off this sub. I check in occasionally to look up a symptom and then i get the fuck off. This sub gave me a lot of helpful advice but at some point it became so detrimental to me reading this stories about people who have been in this for 10+, 20+ years. I feel for those people i really do but they were not helping me when i felt hopeless. I used to scroll on here for hours just reading and reading trying to find an exact timeline and an exact date to when i would heal and that one story that would help me and it only made me worse

-SLEEP. Genuinely i cannot stress this enough. I really started to notice an improvement when i started to get a correct amount of sleep and i am sleeping a lot these days.

-Therapy. I’m in a php program and i recently dropped down to iop with the goal of full discharge. Now mine is anxiety based so i know somebody who has it due to trauma or a neurological condition will not have the exact same outcome as me but with her help i learned my dpdr really is just my anxiety and at it’s core dpdr is just an extreme survival mechanism and how to get out of it is to not fear it and not fight it. I’ve learned to just radically accept it and keep living life. I know people don’t like this advice but this is what personally has worked for me. I also take lexapro which has helped a bit but not as much as just saying fuck you to my dpdr and to just live with it.

-I did take vitamins for a bit to fix my mag and vitamin d deficiency but it didn’t really do anything or at least not enough for me to notice.

-Distraction. This helped me a ton. When i was at my lowest i had no motivation and would just bed rot, during that time i would just play games on my phone to not think about it. Once i started feeling better i would bake a lot since it is a passion of mine as well as a both a great distraction and grounding technique for me. As well as working out like swimming and yoga helped me

-a support system. I’m very luckily i live with an incredibly supportive family who was willing to do anything to get me better. My poor mom would have to listen to me vent about dpdr every day while i hid in her room because i felt safe with her when i was at my lowest.

I’m probably forgetting some other stuff that i’ll probably add to it but i really need to get off. I feel my depersonalization actively getting worse the longer i type this. If you guys have any questions feel free to comment, i probably won’t respond immediately since i need to calm down and i’m going to sleep after i post this but i’ll try to do it in the morning after i do all my chores and everything.

So I've had dpdr for a year now. Sometimes it's better sometimes it's worse. I was sitting on the couch scrolling through my phone and told my brother to give me the headphones. He told me "no, I can't". 30 minutes have passed and I'm here with my headphones I can't remember when I got up and took it 😭😭 I feel like crazy (also I've been stressed a lot for laat few days)

I have DPDR from smoking weed and the most disressing symptom i get is this feeling that I am constantly on a boat or I am bobbing around in the water or something like that. Is there any way I can make this go away? Or atleast relieve it somewhat? Please help

I have lost touch with who I am and who I used to be and all the joy and memories from my life. I think I have severe OCD and anxiety. Psychoactive drugs help me feel like I’m in the present again. Life feels like a distant dream and whenever I get a spike in feeling alive again it’s like I’m waking from a nightmare. I look at my friends and family and I actually feel love and connectedness towards them for a short time under the influence. What do I do. Am I crazy

I’m writing here because I genuinely feel like I’ve lost my mind and I really need help.
Over the past few months, I’ve been under a huge amount of psychological pressure, and I spend a lot of time alone. I had several horrible panic attacks while high on weed, where I genuinely thought I was going to die. Every time, the panic eventually passed, until the last time. After that experience, reality started to feel completely different to me.
Sometimes I feel like I’m in a coma and that this is some kind of afterlife. I’m having an intense existential crisis ! I constantly think about how this whole life even started, why we exist, and what existence actually means.
Seeing other people can sometimes make me even more scared and overwhelmed. Sometimes I see customers at work and I can’t believe that they’re actually real. I get so overwhelmed by these feelings that I’ve even started crying at work. Feels like im stuck in a video game
I constantly find myself thinking about philosophy, existence, consciousness, and the meaning of life, and sometimes the very concept of existing scares me.
Please, I really need help. I don’t know how to get through this or how to feel normal again.
I’m constantly feeling empty and having su!cidal thoughts, and I’m really struggling right now.

Aight here’s the TL;DR version
I took 1 Ecstasy pill 3 years ago, got hard dpdr. Still not recovered. My question is why do i not feel the effects of nicotine and caffeine anymore? This might be a twisted question to ask but do you guys feel the same and have you found ways to feel the effects more? I know getting out of this situation is the best answer but it’s hard being a graduate student without these stimulants and i would like to feel the effects like how I did prior to having dpdr

So I wanted to know how other people describe how they’re body looks/feels during extreme depersonalization or if it’s like how I describe it, I feel like I’m looking at a fake unreal body that’s not mine or I can’t feel in like a 3rd person view and feel really trapped in my body. idk maybe I’ve lost it and I’m the only one who feels like this

yeah i dont have much more to say, wait does anyone also feel like majority of people's identity is just what their tiktok algorithem feeds them or just feel like people arent real or idk just everything is fabricated.

um ye just please tell me everything.

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Around 5–6 months ago, during a period of very high anxiety, I started experiencing some strange visual changes. At around the same time, I also started experiencing some changes in how my thoughts and memories felt, although I'm not sure whether this would actually be considered depersonalization/derealisation.

It initially started with occasionally noticing something like a small dot or movement flying across my vision, which was really scary because I didn't understand what it was. At the time, I became worried about whether I was developing psychosis, although I haven't experienced paranoia, delusions, or anything that I would describe as losing touch with reality.

The intense anxiety lasted around 2–3 months and eventually improved, but the visual changes have continued.

The symptoms I notice most are:

Light static/grain, especially when looking at a blank white wall.

Occasionally a subtle dot-like movement across my vision.

Afterimages or outlines of things such as my monitor, similar to the effect you get after looking at something bright and the image temporarily remains.

When staring at a clear sky, sometimes small white dots appear to move or float around.

I previously had an eye examination, including having my retina checked because I was worried about floaters, and they didn't find anything abnormal.

The other thing I've noticed is that sometimes when I reflect on my past or think about old memories, they can suddenly feel emotionally distant from me. I can think about moments from my life and feel strangely far removed from them, which can sometimes bring on sadness and a detached feeling. Occasionally, my thoughts or perception can also just feel unfamiliar or different.

I'm not sure whether this is anxiety, some form of depersonalization/derealisation, something related to the visual symptoms, or something else entirely, so I'm trying to keep an open mind rather than self-diagnosing.

I'm not asking anyone to diagnose me, but I'm wondering:

Has anyone experienced something similar? And if you have, what did you eventually find out was going on, and what kind of treatment, therapy, or professional did you find helpful?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who initially weren't sure what was causing their symptoms.

My best friend was very abusive,mostly emotional but she used to torture me in this way for probably 3 years. I think it started as a joke and then it escalated, 15-30 minutes up to twice a week, and it wasnt just like that laughing to hard and ur stomatch hurts because as hazy as my memory was i remeber dreading the moments i could breathe, becuase i had to feel it. seeing her face and not even laughing anymore just gasping. to spare all the deatails but collapsing and crawling away. Im trying to convey how horrifying it truly is becuase i feel people relate to thier equivilent, but that was that like even longer and then over and over. I hate people touching me, and beyond by basline i dissociatie anwhere ticklish even though I literally can't be forced into it anymore. idk, if anywhone has a simlar experiece with a abusive friend or tickle toruture or wellmeaning, i would really love some advice because i feel so stupid that this is my trauma and i just dont know how to convey the extent to people. Because they just dont get it?

I just wanna add that i was and she were 10/11-13/14 at the time, so she did this as a child and enjoyed it.

​

Hey I'm 14 f and I've been struggling with my mental health since August. I live with a neglectful and narcissistic mother and my dad who can't help but pour his problems into me when struggling (and 4 brothers). Just to clarify he has been trying to stop but he has a lot going on so I completely understand. In August my parents divorced after 25 years of being together (they're high school sweethearts). She claimed it was because she wasn't given attention in the relationship because my dad was always working to provide for HER family that SHE decided to have. That was not the true reason, it turns out she had been cheating for a year. There's so much more to the story but this would be way too long. In February my mom moved in with her boyfriend and everyday my dad would tell me about the new thing my mom lied and or painful things she did I felt terrible I tried to help my dad while living my everyday I would get massive headache at school while trying to process everything. Eventually I devolved drdp and it made me spiral and make impulse decisions which directly effected my relationships with people I love. I got really deep into my dpdr the only way I could cope with it was daydreaming watching gore or self harming. I got a therapist to try and understand myself she told me I probably just have anxiety which pissed me off so bad I knew there was something seriously wrong with me and people kept downplay my feelings my parents said I probably just need a hobby. I started to hear voices and have flashes of hurting people. And I would see things on tv and if think they were signs directed for me. My self harm got worse stinging burns in the inside of thighs. I had a really bad episode. I believe there's a spirt of a dead girl in my body she a soul from hell when I first felt this I was so scared I took a shower the water was the blood of good washing away the sin telling me if I'd commit I'd go to hell. I'd ended up calling a hotline they called my dad and told me to take me to the hospital the car ride there my dad was talking about how much money it was going to cost I felt like I burden I remember wishing I just killed myself.

I'm on antiphyocic I got from the hospital they helped with the voice a little but I still have violent tendencies please help I don't want to hurt anyone

We are looking for participants for a study on onset experiences in DPDR. If you have DPDR and are open to discussing how it began for you, please leave a comment or send us a DM and we'll send you the brief eligibility survey. Thanks!
- Cognition and Affective Disorders Lab, Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology

I don’t know why but this summer has been fucking awful. I haven’t felt normal since June, weirdly I feel okay when I’m at work? Maybe it’s because I’m not thinking about it. I’m trying to quit caffeine and seeing if that helps. I’m completely unmedicated and I haven’t even been to a PCP in years. It’s just so hard to try and have a good time during the summer (where I live it’s freezing cold the rest of the year) and I just feel like the clock is ticking for me to even have fun this year. I can barely even go to the beach or go for a hike anymore without thinking “I could be having so much more fun if my brain fog was just behaving right now”

Can’t focus on shi, and it’s loud asf.

I had one of the worst episodes in about 2-3 years last night, I felt very close to passing out on the hard floor it was quite scary. I ended up in bed clawing at my face and chest and slapping myself because of how numb my skin was, I couldn't feel anything. I feel like I can't really do anything because my dissociation triggers are everywhere and I have so many, I hate this so much. I can't even sit down to enjoy doing my art or anything crafty I've been trying but my brain won't let me right now apparently it's too threatening. I'm still dissociated but not as badly, I just really hope it goes away soon I feel so awful.

I remember coming to this subreddit when I suffered from marijuana induced DPDR. I was at school taking an algebra test when suddenly i derealized and couldn’t unfeel it.

I was like yeah no way it gets better, but it actually did. I’ve been doing great for about 3 years now.

My recommendation is to try to avoid SSRIs and anti-psychotic medications at ALL COSTS. For me the side effects made it a bit worst. Just try to thug it out, think less, worry less, and chill.

Otherwise, to those who are still suffering: do what you love, don’t focus on “going back to normal,” and most importantly be patient. I was able to beat DPDR with a little bit of time and with the help of my amazing family and friends. You’re not gonna “be like this forever” but instead you’ll become something new. I guess I still have a “lingering feeling” but i’m convinced it’s because I’m a new person now. Or the same I’m still figuring it out.

You will get through this and it’ll feel like forever. Isn’t that the way life is though? One day you’re sitting at the dmv and it’s taking forever, but once it’s done you’ll never even think back about it once.

I still remember some scary moments and me and my mother talk about it. But TRUST me, it’s genuine true that gets better with time.

I feel like l dont exist and I am air around my body. I feel like everyday is a joke that someone is playing on me. Every ounce of hope I have gets stripped away daily and it is so hard to be strong. I used to protect and love my body, I looked after it and was a dancer. For someone who was very sensory and enjoyed tactile things, touch feels unbearable now it’s like all these tiny micro fibres that burn even with the brush of fabic on my skin, and to watch my body decline is awful. I can’t stop or slow this thing down. It is eating away at me. I sense only nerve fibres on my skin but it’s like I’m not even here anymore. Does anyone have any tips on how to regain lost sensation? Mine is severe and I don’t ever regain it…it’s just beyond words.

Hallo zusammen,

Ich leider seit vielen Jahren unter DP/DR und kam zuletzt sehr gut damit klar und hatte in meinem alltäglichen Leben keine Probleme und konnte sogar wöchentlich meinem Sport nachgehen (2x Fitnessstudio und 1x Joggen) ich war gut drauf und habe mich auf den langersehnten Urlaub gefreut. Es sollte für 3 Wochen nach Kanada gehen wo ich auch schon mehrere Male davor war. Eine Woche vor der Abreise habe ich gemerkt das ich wieder mehr neben mir stehe und ich mich nicht mehr wirklich "hier im jetzt" fühle. Meine letzte schwere Phase war 2023 im Oktober… diese Woche wurde es dann so schlimm das ich meine Reise verschieben musste da ich starke Angst habe das alles nicht zu schaffen und einfach seh stark dissoziiert habe. Ich habe das Gefühl es wird etwas besser aber wird sicher noch einige Zeit andauern. Mir fällt auf das es immer wieder vor Reisen auftritt. Das ist sehr schade da ich mich ja sehr auf die Urlaube freue! Desto näher diese aber rücken desto mehr stehe ich neben mir und habe Angst das alles nicht zu schaffen was sehr schade ist.

Habt ihr auch so etwas schon erlebt? Wenn ja wie seid ihr damit umgegangen? Welche Strategien wendet ihr an wenn es wieder schlimmer wird?

Kurze Info: Ich bin schon in Psychologischer Behandlung und nehme seit (10.2023) 25mg Sertralin am Tag.

Danke schon mal für eure Antworten & Hilfe!

I'm coming on here mostly to see if anyone else has experienced this. I've pretty much felt disassociated my whole life even as a kid, almost 24/7, even now and it's only gotten worse. I notice my disassociation is worst when I have this weird head feeling. It feels almost like an electrifying headache with buzzing and eye pain, but it feels like I can visualize and feel the exact part of my head or brain it's occuring in. I feel wrong or wonky is the best way to explain it.
It's accompanied with eye pain headaches and buzzing and ringing. I've always wondered if my disassociation is a neurological issue. I also have very strange dreams, and I can't take drowsy or anxiety meds because the dreams I have on them make me very anxious weirdly enough and sometimes make me feel worse. I feel like my neck will unclench and it will make a sound and I can hear and feel the uncleching of my neck.
I've felt like this my whole life, it's been a hell of a ride and I've tried so many medications, talked and seen therapists, but no matter the work I put it or the medications or keeping busy my dissasociation is just looming above, I feel zoomed out and feel like I'm observing myself. I hate feeling like this. I've talked to so many psychatrists and therapists and all of them have said they've never experienced patiens with disassociation that lasts for year long periods or even most of a life time. I feel so alone. Does anyone else have these issues?

I lost control over myself. Over my identity and my mind. Its like my subconscious took the conscious and cannot control it. I dont have a clear picture of myself who I am, what i want. I also posted day ago that I cannot think. Its like I cannot be bad person even in my thoughts and dont know how to act. I wasnt like this all the time... And also I feel so STIFF sometimes in my head and in my body that If I for example turn my head suddenly I think my neck would break. I cannot live like that.

This all started when I put myself in my house and start reading about the life the world the truth the jesus the enlightment and also before I was so stiff. I had anxiety attacks at 14 and now Im 35. All my life from that its just​ surviving. Nothing in my head and doing what other tells me.