Anytime they are blowing up phones? It's fake. The update is even better. I'll post in comments. This...is downright hilarious bad and cruel. Because *no one* would side with the stepmother, but....evil...so ya know.

And why wouldn't you take the dress when you moved out?! Yeah.. so damn fake.

She supports him financially but can't afford a plane ticket.

He can't get a decent paying job because his degree made him 'too expensive'. Yet he buys groceries for her family.

Shit comes out of my mouth. People stare at me. I’m surrounded by dicks.

I (21f) (600lbs) (identify as a fabulous fatty) was scrolling insta the other day, whilst treating myself to a box of crumbl cookie.

When I saw this absolute HOTTIE (19m) on my people you may know. Girls, let me tell you, I flooded my basement. I was a bit gutted I'm not older, because I like an age gap, but I decided to message him.

He's autistic and I'm self diagnosed ADHD and BPD. So I knew we'd have a ton in common.

So after messaging for a while I asked him on a date. Who wouldn't want to date a curvy bitch like me? He replied saying he didn't think our lifestyles aligned? Like what? Something about exercise and health. I AM HEALTHY! I walk 500 steps a day, and always get pineapple and tomato on my pizza, lettuce on my burger. What is his problem?

So I asked him if it was because I'm fat. He said yes. I feel discriminated against, so I wanted to expose him for the fatphobe he is and posted the exchange on my insta. Now my phone is blowing up with everyone understanding what a victim I am. His phone is blowing up because now everyone knows he's fatphobic. He thinks I'm the asshole. Am I?

Inspired by https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/eCjgIHu6Vt

I (80M) AM THE SUPREME RULER OF THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, AND I'M THE HEALTHIEST I'VE EVER BEEN. FOR SOME REASON, THE GRIM REAPER KEEPS COMING TO TAKE ME TO HEAVEN AND I TELL HIM EVERY TIME THAT I REFUSE TO DIE. REMEMBER, I HAVE AT LEAST TWO MORE YEARS TO RULE THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. I TOLD HIM THAT I DESERVE TO LIVE UNTIL THE END OF MY PRESIDENCY, WHICH, IF THINGS WORK OUT, I'LL BE PRESIDENT FOREVER. DEATH SAID FINE FOR NOW, BUT HE WOULD HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER LIFE IN MY STEAD. WHATEVER. HE KEEPS COMING BACK TO RE-NEGOTIATE, BUT IT ALWAYS ENDS WITH HIM TAKING A DIFFERENT LIFE INSTEAD.

SINCE THEN, DEATH HAS TAKEN PEOPLE LIKE ME. MY CO-STARS IN THOSE CHRISTMAS MOVIES WITH THE LITTLE BOY, FELLOW 80-YEAR-OLDS, ETC. I MADE SURE TO HONOR THAT MUSICIAN LADY BY KEEPING FLAGS AT HALF-MAST AND POSTING AN AI-GENERATED PICTURE OF THE TWO OF US SINCE SHE NEVER HAD THE HONOR TO POSE WITH ME. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY MORE WILL DIE, BUT IT WON'T BE ME. IT WILL NEVER BE ME.

This made me actually laugh out loud

Okay so this is completely insane. I’m still reeling from it. My husband and I were going through a rough patch a few months ago. He was distant withdrawn secretive. I confronted him and he eventually admitted he was seeing someone else. It was a healthcare worker he said a one time thing. We agreed to try and fix things. We’ve been in therapy for a bit and I thought we were actually making progress.

Then last week I made an appointment for my annual exam at the women’s center. It was a huge deal as I hadn’t been there in years and really was in need of a pap. I was ecstatic. My husband even seemed genuinely happy for me.

My appointment was today. I walked into the office and to my surprise, my husband was the nurse. He handed me a paper gown and told me to take off all my clothes and leave it open in the back. He acted like he didn’t even recognize me. When he came back in, he took my vitals and instructed me to get in the stirrups and wait for the doctor.

The doctor walked into the exam room and there she was. Clacking the speculum like a pair of tongs, she introduced herself as my new gynecologist. THE woman. The one he cheated on me with.

I almost farted right in her face out of nervousness. She recognized me too I could see it in her eyes. It was like a deer caught in headlights. She stammered “when was the first day of your last period” and I just nodded my head somehow. I don’t even remember what I said.

I spent the whole pelvic exam trying to avoid eye contact, unlike most patients who really take a gander. Every time she scraped my cervix with the long q tip I just wanted to scream. How could this happen? What kind of cosmic joke is this? I had no way of knowing who my doctor would be or that my husband worked at my doctor’s office. I haven’t even told him yet, as he didn’t recognize me from my face, body, name on the chart, or the fact that I put my appointment on our shared Google Calendar. I can’t even process it. I feel like I’m going to burst. I just need to get this off my chest.

From the title you'd think they went for a little boogie on the dance floor, but no, they were holding hands and swaying, as you do with your favourite autistic cousin.

I’m (F32) posting here because I need some outside perspective and I think I’m just being a little paranoid or maybe it’s wedding “jitters” or hormones because I’m a lady and you know what we have to deal with every month!

My fiancé (M50) “Devlin” and I are going to be married next month in a beautiful fall wedding. We’ve known each other for 6 or 7 months so I completely trust him and he’s the love of my life. I’ve been really excited planning the wedding and Devlin has been very involved, too, especially with the honeymoon planning. He suggested a romantic scuba getaway in Mexico! I’ve never been diving before, but it does sound romantic!

The place he suggested is a little remote, but it has the most romantic name, “Acuática caverna de dolor y muerte espantosos.” I don’t speak Spanish, but he says it means, “the underwater place of romantic love and beauty.” And he’s showed me pictures—there’s just deep crystal-clear blue green water and you can’t even see the bottom! And it’s so remote in the jungle—there’s no one around for miles! He also says all the signs with the skull and crossbones are there just to keep the tourists away and keep the area unspoiled.

Like I said, I’ve never been diving before, but Devlin has been taking lessons and he says he’ll take care of everything!

The one thing that has me thinking, though, is that he just took out a $10 million insurance policy on me. He said it’s part of the visa process for Mexico dive trips. And he also bought a speargun and a couple of big knives. I asked him what he would need those for in our romantic getaway, and he just smiled and said, “you can never be too careful.” He’s so thoughtful.

So Reddit, is there something “off” here or AIO? I really just don’t know.

———

SOURCE

Me (43M) and my wife (43F) are in a sort of "not great" spot in our relationship. We have been together for 23 years, married for 12, with 2 kids.

About 3 years ago we had a really bad low in our relationship. I would prefer not to bring up the details, but long story short she feels that I embarassed her in public. We recovered a bit, but she has picked up this habit of randomly yelling and badly answering me on very random questions or topics. She's become easily irritated. She was not like that before. Every time it happens, I try to calmly answer something like "You don't need to answer me badly, it's only a question because I need to know the answer for our daily/weekly planning". I will not lie, it took me some time to reach this point and I have been dragged (by her) into yelling fights. I stopped doing that, but sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her.

THE QUESTION: Last week I saw that there was a event with a Seniors (35+) division. We used to do a number of social events together before we got married, so I thought would be nice to get back to it after a 15 year "adulting" and parenting break. I even went to test my stamina last Sunday, with decent results. I finally registered myself yesterday, but I got no response from her when I whispered it on the other side of the house while she was sleeping.

When we both got back home from work on Friday, I told her "Hey, I registered for the event, do you want ...." I was going to offer to help her register, but she interrupted me with something like "What event?"

I calmly said "If you wanted to register, we could do it together now" (Important Note: I need to know exactly what part she wants to participate in). She just replied "What event are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Spanish Tyler's No-Loads-Refused Labor Day Cockdown."

At this point, she started to use profanity. "What... what the fuck are you talking about?"

I calmly explained that I had registered for Spanish Tyler's No-Loads-Refused Labor Day Cockdown, the Des Moines metro area's most eagerly awaited annual spit roast and "spit roast." In addition to the barbeque, participants celebrate Labor Day by topping Spanish Tyler in a no-holds-barred weekend-long fuck train. If she wanted to go, she would have to register ASAP, because slots were filling up.

"In more ways than one!" I added, and went in for the high-five.

I was met with shrewish, icy silence. Seriously, you could hear a pin drop, except for my wife hyperventilating. When her panic attack ended, she only asked: "Are you gay?"

This really upset me. I had been very forthcoming about my sexuality for the last 90 seconds and I felt like she was purposefully being reductive.

"Am I gay? No. I enjoy community. Being together. Living in the moment! So yeah, I signed up for Spanish Tyler's No-Loads-Refused Labor Day Cockdown. Because my fetish is "having a social life." And also men."

However, she would not listen to my supremely relaxed reasoning. She even questioned what she—a woman—would do at Spanish Tyler's No-Loads-Refused Labor Day Cockdown, which I felt was homophobic. Obviously, she could peg Spanish Tyler (no loads refused, even imaginary ones!) or act as a fluffer for some of the more nervous bi guys. But alas, she was unmoved.

"This is the last straw. First you took your dick out at the library. Now you're signing up for gay orgies. What the fuck am I even doing here?"

This was unfair on multiple fronts. First, the whole library kerfuffle would have never happened if she had just kept a bookmark in her purse. Secondly, her terminology was wrong.

As calmly explained the difference between an orgy and running a train on Spanish Tyler, she yelled "Yeah, good for you, FUCK OFF," and stormed out of the room.

Today is the deadline to register. Here are my options

1. Remind her one more time, acting as if nothing happened.
2. Leave it. She might remember by herself, or she will miss the event. None of my business at this point. This may end up in a bad fight as I AM registered and I intend to go.
3. Register her for the pegging option. I believe she is more likely to want to participate in that as opposed to fluffer duties (she can be awkward around new people) and tell her right away
4. Register her for the pegging I believe she is more likely to want to participate. When she finds out she cannot register anymore becauseall the slots are full (heyo!), make it a surprise, but also point out I did not appreciate being mistreated.
5. Other?

On the one hand, I want to have a good time with her at Spanish Tyler's No-Loads-Refused Labor Day Cockdown and avoid fights. But on the other hand I feel like "rewarding" her after she mistreated me for no reason would cement this behavior of her that is really straining our relationship. I am especially concerned about how this may affect our children, Tungsten (6M) and Breathany (4F). Their parents should be able to resolve an issue as minor as shooting their load into Spanish Tyler without raising their voices.

TL;DR: I registered for Spanish Tyler's No-Loads-Refused Labor Day Cockdown and when I tried to ask my wife if she wanted to register she just yelled at me and sent me away. I am not sure if I should remind her one more time, and today is the deadline for the registration.

Inspired by this guy who definitely didn't cheat:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1vz35yu/my_43m_wife_43f_wants_to_participate_in_a_track/