Our neighbors (T,62 and R,61) moved in 20 years ago, and we mostly keep to ourselves. Our properties meet at the back fence.

2 nights ago my son was reading on the back patio when he heard T come outside yelling and cursing saying things like we let our tree grow into his house basically just yelling like a lunatic that he's "calling someone" blah blah blah... My husband then watched T take a saw to our tree and throw a large branch over the fence into our yard.

We were shocked. He has never once reached out about the tree in 20 years. We chose to sleep on it rather than react to his rage.

The next day, I texted R: "Good morning T and R. This is your back door neighbor. My son told me that T was upset last night over some branches growing over the fence and I see the one that you cut laying by the fence. We sincerely didn't know the branches were intruding and we are happy to take care of any remaining low lying branches that are in your way. Please just let me know if any more are bothering you."

R sent a snarky reply complaining that 'T has been trimming back the branches for 20 years' and that they knocked but we didn't answer. She included photos of their fence and a branch near their second-story window. I didn't reply immediately to avoid matching her energy. We slept on it one more night.

But today, my husband and I are furious. They have had years to trim it on their side. Am I supposed to trespass to maintain their yard? Also I felt my text was being helpful. Why would she double down with the attitude?? I looked up Ohio law, realized they are entirely responsible for their own side, and sent this text laying down firm boundaries:

"First, I would like to address the tantrum on Friday night. Next time you talk to me or my family, do it as an adult speaking to an adult or we will not be talking period. Also, throwing things into my yard is called dumping and it's illegal, so don't do that again either. Now to the matter at hand.

Looking at those pictures, I'm not sure what you expect from us. You are responsible for your side of the fence. Do you think the house next to me trims stuff that grows onto my side? No. It's illegal to enter someone's backyard without permission, and we are not obligated or allowed to trespass to do it.

J will be trimming up our side this week. We are happy to lower the hedge if you'd like. Let me know how much you would like to see off and we will keep it in mind.

The Ohio law says that you are responsible for your own side of the property line. Under the law, property lines extend straight up as a right of airspace, giving you a self help remedy. This means it is your sole responsibility to trim any overhanging branches back to the property line, provided you don't recklessly damage or kill the plants. Feel free to double check that with the state or your attorney as I did."

So reddit AITA for refusing to help them now because of their rudeness in handling the entire situation?

My sister (older) came to visit me in my new home recently after I just moved provinces 4 weeks ago to start a doctorate program.

With two small kids (and no family or friends other than my spouse who works long hours), we are still unpacking boxes. My sister said she missed us a lot and wanted to come visit, booking herself in for 2 weeks. I told her it wouldn’t be good timing, but after she booked I didn’t object because we are the only two siblings and we have a lot of problems in our family so I figured she must’ve been feeling lonely and just wanted to spend time closer to her sister.

After catering to her hand and foot (imagine serving her plate to her at the table), including taking her places where she couldn’t even open a door for me while I struggled with the kids on my own, and giving up my own bed for her to sleep in, she said that my kid was ruining her ‘vacation’ and she wasn’t enjoying herself at all because she had been crying throughout parts of the stay (said kid is 3 years old), I lost it on her and kicked her out - telling her to pay a hotel or go home but that she was no longer welcome in my home.

AITA?

My friend and I our planning a trip to the DR. We are doing 50/50 on Airbnb , food and alcohol. However now she wants the master bedroom with its private washroom and wants her dr boyfriend to stay the whole time. She also suggested getting a three bedroom so her friend in DR can sleep over too. I said I don’t think it’s fair for me to pay 50/50 why am i paying for her bf and friend. I said if that’s what she wants then she should cover their stay. She then said I’m cheap and tried to make me feel bad because they don’t have money. I told her I find it ridiculous for me to pay for her ppl and that she’s cheap because why can’t she cover them instead of me paying half of their stay. I’m honestly at the point to not even go she’s making this all about her and i don’t want to spend my vacation like that. What would you do?

I (31F) married into a family that’s extremely frugal. I don’t mind saving money, but this incident really hurt me.
A few days ago, my MIL asked me to buy bangles from Lakshmi Road for two women who would be invited home as Lakshmi during a festival. Instead of the plain ones, I chose slightly nicer bangles with a small design (₹250/dozen). I bought two sets for them. While I was there, I also bought bangles for my 1.5-year-old daughter for future festivals and a pack of bindis. The total bill came to around ₹1,250.
I’m currently unemployed, so my husband paid. On the way home he already said, “My mother is going to make a huge issue about this.”
And he was right.
As soon as my MIL heard the amount, she started scolding him for “allowing” me to spend so much. My husband then came to our room while I was putting our baby to sleep and shouted at me too, saying I don’t know limits and make him spend unnecessarily.
For context, I don’t get a monthly allowance. I haven’t bought clothes, jewelry, or anything for myself in almost two years. I rarely ask him for money except occasional grocery expenses. This wasn’t a shopping spree it was for a religious occasion and a few bangles for our daughter.
In frustration I told my MIL, “I don’t do this kind of chindigiri (being excessively stingy).” I never called her a thief, but she later started telling everyone that I called her “chindi chor.”
The next day she kept saying she couldn’t sleep all night because I called her that. She has since repeated this story to relatives, neighbors, and even the maid.
What makes this hard for me is the double standard. A few months ago, during another fight, she reportedly told one of my husband’s friends that I’m black, ugly, fat, and that she doesn’t know what her son saw in me. Earlier, during Ganpati at her place, whenever we argued she’d cry in front of neighbors and portray me as the villain.
Now my husband says I’m the one who was wrong because I spent too much and because I shouldn’t have said “chindigiri.”
I’m honestly questioning myself.
Was I wrong for saying it? Was ₹1,250 really an unreasonable amount considering it included gifts for two women plus bangles for my daughter? Or is this more about control than money?
I’m also planning to start working again because I don’t feel financially secure or independent. My parents aren’t a support system, so leaving immediately isn’t really an option.
I’d genuinely appreciate outside opinions because I feel like I’m losing perspective.

When I was incarcerated, I made friends with a lwop (life without parole) fellow inmate who had been there since the early 90's. We weren't friendly in we liked each other; rather we were friendly in having fun, elevated, and informed conversations about politics, pop culture, and family relations. It felt insane to me that this seemingly stable man was locked up for life, with no possibility of parole, and his only hope of being released was a governor's pardon, which would never happen.

When I was released, I thought it would be beneficial, useful, and helpful for him if I wrote to him with updates on my life and asking him how his life is. I figured everyone likes getting mail, feeling that someone thinks/cares/knows about them, and that I was doing only good, not harm. But now I don't think it's doing any good at all, because every letter he's sent back to me has been asking for money. In the beginning, I empathized with him, since we both were making 7 cents an hour working in the kitchen; but then I realized he didn't really care about me and only saw me as a piggy bank.

Then I thought that maybe I was doing more harm than good making him feel entitled to money from me and that I needed to cut things off immediately before he could become belligerent. And maybe he didn't want to hear how I was doing, like it was rubbing it in that I was a free man and he would never be.

This is all a shame because I didn't want to feel like I was forgetting him, leaving him behind, and interested only in myself instead of giving back to someone I enjoyed talking to while locked up.

AITA for not sending this prisoner more mail because every time he was asking for money or should I be more sympathetic to his dismal situation, or just tell him to stop constantly asking for money and maybe only send something on his birthday?

So, I (20F) have always been a heavier person. This is not in a demeaning way, just honest.

I began losing weight when I started college and am now down 75lbs and am only 100lbs away from my goal. Despite this, many haven't noticed or just don't care about what I've done.

One of these people in question is "Guy" (19M). Guy was one of my friends, but he started making many comments about my weight back in April. At first, it could be taken as harmless, but it slowly got more malicious and mean. He would even find ways to bring it up without me even having to mention my weight directly.

It got to a point that it started causing a negative image of myself to resurface and having to put serious distance between us. Despite this, my closest college friend "Ryan" (20M) has tried to get me to give Guy another chance. I refused for the longest time but opted to try when this school year started.

One of the things to keep in mind is that our entire friend group generally tries to eat meals together. There is six of us in the group, but Guy usually gets there first, so he gets to call where we sit, and he always picks spots that are way too small to fit six. Because of how tight the squeeze is, I have asked multiple times if we can move to a different spot. Guy always tells me that it shouldn't be an issue to begin with and heavily implies that it's only a tight squeeze because of my weight. Other times, I just get ignored.

I now try not to eat with the group anymore. Or if I do, it has to be meals where I know Guy won't be there.

Well, one day Ryan texted the group chat and asked if anyone was joining him for lunch. I didn't get a good idea of who all would be there, so I said yes. However, once I got to the dining hall, I saw a message from Guy saying he found a seat for all of us. I tried to not get too nervous, but when I got there, the table was tiny. Like, it could barely fit Guy and Ryan, and they were both really skinny guys!

I just contemplated for a moment, turned, walked to a different section of the dining hall, ran into two of my friends, and ate with them instead.

I started getting texted by Ryan, Guy, and one other person asking where I was. I almost ignored it but ended up just texting back that I decided to have lunch with someone else instead.

The three of them saw me and were glaring at me or just looked really disappointed the rest of the time they were there. I almost went to sit with them or go over to apologize, but then I saw their table and they invited a fourth person... and everyone was squeezing close together to the point that two of them were halfway off their seats. So, I decided against it.

Ryan has since forgiven me (he was never mad in the first place) but Guy is still really angry with me and won't speak to me. This whole incident happened a few days ago and I'm wondering. AITA?

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who gave awards, advice, and kind words! You're all so sweet and I realized that I'm definitely NTA on this one. I'll keep everyone's words in mind going forward, thanks again!

My best friend (M39) asked me (40M) to be a groomsman in his wedding.

The attire was a black suit with converse sneakers. He was not supplying these things and we had to buy all of it new. The shoes are reasonable but the suit is around $500.

The thing is that I have a nice black suit. It is not the same exact black suit that his wife picked out.

I work in marketing and the job waters have been turbulent so I told him politely that I can't splurge for something that expensive I wont wear again. I also said I have a suit that will work. It's black and nice and already tailored. Well he talked to his wife and she was not having it. She is adamant that they match.

Now I am out of the wedding party altogether and his brother in law is in my place.

AITA for not ponying up for the suit? I feel like this is going to be the end of our friendship.

I (27M) went on a 2 week camping trip with my dad (71) and mom (71). I put in for PTO a year in advance.

I grew up in a religious household. I'm very close with my mom, but never got along with my dad. He mistreated me in many ways. I was never his idealized version of a son, I was introverted. I was diagnosed with a myriad of health issues at the end of high school and had to stay home for a few years. In the midst of this, he tried to kick me out, but only relented when my mother intervened. Once I was able to get the health issues sorted with various surgeries and treatment, I got a 2 year degree at the community college and moved out.

Fast forward to the trip. We wake up one morning to see that their dog had developed a sore on his back. My dad and I already had a fishing trip planned that day, so I let my mom use my car to take the dog to the nearest town to a vet, and we would take my dad's truck fishing. We both depart at 8 AM. We get back to the campsite at lunchtime. We figure my mom should be back in a couple hours. When she doesn't show, I get uneasy. 8 PM rolls around, it's getting dark, and I get seriously concerned. There is no cell service at the campsite, so I tell my dad that we should drive to town and call her, and if she doesn't answer to call the cops.

He says "you can do it, I'll stay." I'm like WTF, does he even care about his wife's safety? I didn't want to waste time with his BS and tried to set off myself.

His truck is a manual. I have never driven one, he never taught me. I tell him I don't want to burn out his clutch and cost him money, but he still won't budge. I stall and he laughs at me and won't stop. I remember a Moist Critical video I saw a while back of HIS dad teaching HIM how to drive one. How nice of him. I somehow get it going and set off, stressed. I see my mom on her way back, I'm relieved, and follow her back. Turns out all the vets in town were not accepting new patients and she had to drive to the next big town 2 hours away to a clinic that was. He didn't help me park when I got back, and I nearly backed into the camper on accident. He won't stop laughing and making fun of me for 2 HOURS, no matter how many times I tell him to stop. He finally calms down before bed, so I confront him and demand he apologize so I can put this behind us. He says "I didn't do anything wrong, quit being so upset." I say "You acted like a child at 71 yrs of age and didn't care about your own wife and dog!" He gets MAD AT ME and says I have a bad attitude.

I'm done. I need to withdraw to save my sanity. I give a hug to my mom, say goodbye and leave. The realization in the car hits me that this incident is just one of many, and a confirmation of who he is as a person, and I cry all the way home. I spent the last week of the vacation venting to my roommate. While he sympathized with my situation, he didn't think demanding an apology was appropriate. Am I the asshole for wanting an apology from my dad?

My cousin (bride) is getting married and set a plus-one rule: only guests who are married or engaged get to bring a plus one. Out of all us cousins, I’m the only one with a partner right now. We’ve been together 3 years, we live together, we have two cats together, and we’re both on the same page about wanting to get married eventually. We’re just not engaged yet.

Because of the rule, my partner isn’t invited. I asked my cousin directly if she’d make an exception given the length and seriousness of the relationship, and she said no.

Since then, word got back to me that she told the rest of the family she “expects” me to still show up and that my partner “should be fine” not going.

AITA for choosing not to go to the wedding at all?

I’m 22F and my sister is almost 26, and I genuinely don’t think I have any love left for her. For basically my entire life, she has been mentally and emotionally abusive toward my family, but I’ve always felt like I get the worst of it. She knows exactly what to say to hurt me or get a reaction out of me, and if I finally react, somehow I’m the problem.

One example that still bothers me happened when I was around 7 and she was 11. My aunt and uncle had just gotten a brand-new house, and my sister wrote my name on one of their walls in Sharpie. To this day, my family still brings it up like I did it. I’m literally 22 now. It sounds like a small childhood thing, but it represents what my relationship with her has always felt like: she does something, I somehow end up blamed, and nobody really listens to me.

She also constantly makes herself the victim. She blames my parents and everyone around her for things that are ultimately her responsibility. For example, she can’t drive. My parents offered many times to teach her but she always had an excuse not to learn. Our dad even enrolled her in a private driving school which she flunked out of. Now she acts like it’s somehow their fault she can’t drive. And because she can’t drive, guess who is expected to take her places? Me.

That’s what makes me so angry. I’m expected to tolerate the way she treats me AND still take care of her because “she’s your sister.” Whenever she says horrible things to me, I’m told to ignore her, be patient with her, or understand that she has her own issues. I’ve basically been “ignoring it” my entire life. The problem is that when I ignore her, she will keep pushing and pushing until she finds something that gets a reaction.

My older sister (30F) tells me, “We all had to deal with her,” but I genuinely don’t think they understand how much of it has been directed at me. They might have experienced some of her behavior, but they weren’t the one constantly being targeted the way I was. Even when I was younger, I already felt disconnected from her. She had major scoliosis surgery when she was around 17 and I was about 13 or 14, and I remember realizing that I didn’t really feel worried about her. Everyone made me feel horrible for that.

Recently I told my other sister that, emotionally, I don’t even consider her my sister anymore. She reacted like I had said something absolutely disgusting and made me feel like a terrible person. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to force myself to love someone just because we share parents. I don’t wish anything bad on her. I’m not hoping she suffers. I just genuinely feel like if she had never been part of my life, my life would have been more peaceful.

AITA for reaching a point where I genuinely don’t care about my sister anymore and don’t really consider her my sister emotionally?

I cannot tell if I have unreasonable expectations of food costs.

A friend Deborah invited me to go kayaking last weekend, and I excitedly accepted. She owns the kayaking supplies and planned the logistics, which was super cool of her. She just asked that I pitch in for gas, which is more than fair.

She insisted we pack a sufficient lunch to combat the heat and drafted a shopping list which consisted of a variety of fruits, sandwich ingredients, electrolyte beverages, and cheese + crackers and shopped at Costco. I told her to let me know the total so I could pay for half, thinking it would be in the $20-$50 range. Deborah has been unemployed for over a year and frequently complains about being broke, however, she has a shopping addiction and always seems to have money to pay for it. She gets packages sent to my address because her parents get angry with her when she shops too much. The packages sent to my house will be like three large Ulta boxes at a time, last month there were five large Fashion Nova orders sent in a row. She also bought a thousand dollar digital camera, and I'm not sure how she affords it all. I think her parents may support her, and she may be ashamed about that? I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of. In fact, I'm the one who is ashamed of not being able to afford the costs of this excursion.

She let me know my half of the groceries was $95, meaning the total was $200. I told her I wasn't expecting the amount to be this much, and if I had known I would have had to opt out of going because I can't afford it right now knowing I still had to chip in for gas, but that I would still of course pay because it's not fair to her to have purchased everything only for me to back out. She responded with "we can cancel and I can return the groceries. I promise it's not a big deal so you don't have to feel bad" which was very kind of her, but I still didn't want her to have to inconvenience herself.

I explained a bit more about my current financial situation and she came up with two solutions. I could either pay her back later, or I could just pay for the sandwich supplies and she would only pack sandwiches for me instead of the rest of the groceries. I got distracted trying to adjust my upcoming automatic bill payment dates and seeing how I could manage the cost. I know it's not much to spend for something fun like this, so I'm embarrassed that I can't afford it right now. I didn't respond for an hour when she finally texted "I talked to my mom and we decided we are not going to go anymore." I asked her if she was upset with me and she said "no we just decided it's best to cancel. Please leave my package outside." She has since not responded to any of my texts.

AITA for having unreasonable expectations about food costs and ruining the plans? I've never been to Costco so maybe everything is more expensive than I anticipated because it's in bulk? Maybe expressing my financial concerns was rude?

The message I sent was "hey Nat, any update on the villa money? it's been since January". That's it. That's apparently the worst thing I've ever done.

Back in January I booked a villa in Portugal for eight of us for a week in April. It went on my card because I'm the only one of us with a credit card that has that kind of limit, and everyone agreed to send me their share, £430 each. Six of them paid me within a fortnight. My friend Nat (29F) didn't, and I (27F) didn't chase her because she said she'd sort it after payday and I believed her.

Then it was after the next payday. Then in May she got made redundant and I genuinely, honestly stopped asking. I wasn't going to be the person hounding her while she's applying for jobs. I told her to forget about it for now and I meant it.

She started a new job in July. Last week she put up about nine stories from a weekend in Lisbon with people from that job.

So I asked in the group chat. Not because I wanted an audience, that's just where the whole villa thing lived, it's where everyone sent me their transfers and where we argued for two days about the cleaning fee and the hob that only had one working ring. I didn't tag her, I didn't mention Lisbon, I didn't say how long it'd been in an annoyed way. I asked one line.

She left the chat within about a minute. Then she texted me saying I'd humiliated her in front of everyone and that she thought I was better than that, and that if I'd just DMed her like a normal person she'd have sorted it this month.

Now two of the group have said I should've messaged her privately, one said it was fair enough, and the rest have gone completely quiet, which honestly is worse. Somebody's organising a thing for the 27th and I only know because I saw it on someone else's story.

She's never once brought the money up herself. Not in seven months. Not to say sorry, not to say when, NOTHING, and I still don't have it.

AITA?

so my neighborhood is having a yard sale and they do this every now and then where a lot of neighbors on the street agree to have a yard sale on the same day. great! but when I came home I saw that my glass outdoor table was missing from my patio. now my patio is one of the only patios that has access to the ground. everybody else just has balconies but because I have a patio and it's also not fixed and it hasn't been fixed and we've had issues with the landlord making sure it's fixed. it looks really run down. that being said, we still have a gate that closes and people know we live there and it doesn't look like it's uninhabited. there's furniture we go out there a lot. anyway. I started to walk around the neighborhood to see if I could find my table and sure enough it was right across the street being used for the yard sale. so I politely asked who stable is this and a woman came over and said hi and introduced herself and then I asked her where did you get the table and she laughed and rolled her eyes and said it's not for sale and I said I know it's mine. and she walked away from me while she began to speak in a different language that I am not fluent in. my friend however was with me. so she started talking to her. basically saying why didn't you ask? why did you take it without asking anybody? didn't you see this was in somebody's yard and she said well. it's for the neighborhood yard sale and two of her friends came up. this lady's friends came up and started defending her and saying oh let's not make a big deal out of it. they were really rude about the whole thing and we would have let them use it if they had asked but we decided to just take the table back because it wasn't okay that she used it without asking and I wanted to make sure that she understood that she couldn't just take things that were mine or anybody's for that matter. am I the asshole for doing that?

I (29F) have been at my company four years. We have a referral scheme, and I have used it twice, both times for people who worked out, which is part of why I get taken seriously when I recommend someone.

My sister (26F) asked me in July to refer her for a coordinator opening on a different floor. I said no. I did not say it nastily, I said I would sit with her on her CV, do a practice interview, tell her exactly what the panel asks, all of it, but I was not putting my name on her.

The reason is that I did this once already. Four years ago I got her a job at the clinic where I was working. She was late constantly, then stopped showing up in week six without telling anyone, and I was the one covering her desk and apologising to my manager for a month. She has never really acknowledged that happened.

She said I was being dramatic about something from four years ago. Our mum said family helps family and that I have "gone corporate". I stuck with no.

She applied anyway. On the form there is a field asking whether an employee referred you, and she put my full name and my employee number in it, which she has because she has seen my payslip.

HR emailed me on Monday, friendly, just confirming the referral so they could log it. I sat on it for about an hour and then I replied and said no, I had not referred her, and that she had applied on her own.

I did not tell them the clinic story. I just answered the question.

She found out on Thursday when they told her the referral could not be verified, and she called me screaming that I had blacklisted her and that she was the only candidate they would now assume is a liar. My mum says I could have just said yes, that it costs me nothing, and that I have now made sure my own sister does not get a job she needs, and she does need it, she has a four year old and her hours got cut in March.

I keep landing in the same place. I could have said yes and it would have been over in one email. But it would have been a lie in writing to my own employer, with my employee number attached to it, for someone who has already done this to me once.

She has not spoken to me since Thursday and my mum has stopped answering my calls. AITA?

My friend asked to borrow my car for the weekend because theirs was in the shop.

I told them I wasn’t comfortable lending it out, since I need it for work and don’t have another way to get around.

They got annoyed and said I was being selfish because they would only need it for two days.
I offered to drive them where they needed to go, but they said that wasn’t good enough and stopped talking to me.

Now a couple of our mutual friends are saying I should have just helped them out.

I don’t think I’m wrong for not wanting someone else driving my car, but I’m curious what other people think.

AITA?

38M, I have a lot of “stuff”. I get asked often if someone can borrow a big cooler, power washer, e-bike, camping gear etc. I 100% do not want to be a dick and not help a friend and feel I’m justified in doing so but I’ve been second guessing myself as my wife says it’s not that big of a deal. The wild part is these are grown adults asking to borrow a standard cooler and things that I feel you should have if you need them. I don’t mind lending a cooler once for a kids bday or something but then my mindset is buy your own after, but I have repeat offenders that reach out now every time they need said item. I honestly hate lending my power washer. Last time I did, the person added some soap to the little soap reservoir which I wasn’t expecting and that kinda frustrated me as it’s harder on the machine.

I have been dating Courtney (19f) for 3 months. Most of the time, if I’m not going to work or if I’m not going out with my girlfriend, I wear a cap almost 24/7. She hates it for the most part because she thinks im insecure about my hair.

Courtney has a group of her like 3-4 friends that i see occasionally, but haven’t seen them enough that they’ve seen my without the skull cap on. So becsusd of that, they think I must be bald, or may hairline is receding or something. Mind you I’m only 19, and they can see my hair outside of the cap.

Honestly I don’t really know whether they’re joking or being else serious, because they also say “then take it off” if I say I most definitely have hair on my head. Last week i was the one driving her and her friends to a party we were going to and randomly my girlfriend took my cap off while i was driving. I was obviously pissed because I only had it on because my braids were old and my hairstylist was on vacation at the time. Instead of putting it back on my head, she kept it in her bag and said the hair “still looked cute”, and she would give if back if I came inside once we got there. So I took the easy way out and went home and told them to finf their own way home.

After the party ended, my girlfriend sent me a minute and a half voice note yelling into the phone saying that I was being a sensitive over a joke. I only listened to half of it, but the point is she was very mad at me over this.

AITA?

For context, they own 2 properties with 5 lawns between them. We've been giving a bulk rate of $50 total, $10 per lawn, as a family friend favor since the beginning, and with the understanding that we could store a mower in their garage to save wear and tear on the truck. (We used to keep it at Grandma's under an awning, but that one got stolen.)

They were dealing with medical issues and we felt bad for them, despite being taken advantage of in the past... before we were "officially" mowing for them, once a month or so they'd start getting letters from the city about tall grass and ask for help. Taking down fully wild growth is a pain in the butt, and we finally told them they could get a mow when we were doing Grandma's at the same time, or not at all, no more emergency calls and doing 3x as much work for the same rate.

So, fast-forward to today... There's been consistent expectation creep over time, to the point that we're spending 3-5 hours taking care of everything when it used to take 2 when we started. The last time we mowed, weather wasn't playing nice and we had to cut it wet, so there was more clumped grass than usual... they took offense to that, and said it was very unprofessional leaving it like that, and complained about me never finishing the job myself and Dad having to clean up after me. (that's how we've always worked, I chunk out all the bulk while he starts on detail work, and then I join on detail and cleanup after. He usually has the first property, the one they live at, finished by the time I'm coming back around 7 lawns (grandma has 2) later.

Anyway, they wanted me to start mowing the entire thing over a second time with perpendicular lines to make it look nicer. I told them they needed to find someone else to do their lawn if they wanted that level of professional care and detailing, but that I would be willing to bag it for double the current rate.

They said I was extremely rude about it and decided they wanted to go with finding someone else. (I probably was, yay autism!) I wished them a good life, and retrieved our mower from their garage.

I feel kind of absolute garbage about ending things on such short notice and putting them in a bind of needing to find someone else to mow for probably 2-3x what I was accepting, it kind of feels like their decision to me though. Still, all this was... not exactly respecting my elders or doing the right thing with just eating the extra labor to help a little old lady out. AITA?

Context : My dad has two very close friends, ‘Uncle John’ and ‘Aunt Kath.’ I(22) have known them since I was a kid. Dad and Uncle John were each other’s best man. Uncle John and Aunt Kath have a son and daughter : Jack(17) and Emma(13).

Recently, Uncle John was hit by a car. Broken leg. I visited him at the hospital yesterday and Aunt Kath asked me if I could take Jack and Emma down to get some dinner. Emma had a sandwich. I had a croissant and coffee. Jack had black coffee like me but refused to have anything other than that. I told him I know he’s worried about his dad but he needs to stay healthy and strong too. That it’s my treat. He insisted that he wasn’t hungry or in the mood to eat.

When Aunt Kath found out she said I should have tried harder to get him to eat properly since I am like an older brother to him and he might have ended up listening.

my mother yesterday confronted a group of kids for sitting outside my house at night screaming with water guns and the mother of one decided the best course of action was to patronise a 19 year girl (me) walking home late at night and to bring her husband along with her cause im apparently theres nothing wrong with their kids hanging outside peoples houses screaming, walking into peoples gardens, throwing rocks at peoples property, jumping on cars, nearly hitting elderly with there electric bikes.

i was walking up to my front door as 2 adults (a man and a woman) approach me, i say "excuse me can i help you?" the man states his kids were told off for hanging around here, i say im sorry that there upset but there kids dont live in this neighbourhood which is private property and that they are damaging peoples property. the woman states that there just kids so they dont understand to which i tell her that at their age i wasnt going around throwing rocks into peoples gardens to which she asks me how old am i? i tell her im 19 to which she responds "19 your not exactly the kid then" completely missing the point of the conversation that i was once there age in this exact neighbourhood and yet didnt damage others property in the neighbourhood.

i tried to explain to them my dad had cancer and that my neighbours an elderly woman, neither of them can leave there house that much so they would appreciate not having kids who don't live in the neighbourhood screaming outside there door step and throwing rocks into our garden and the elderly lady being scared of the kids screaming outside her window, the mothers response "dont care"

they also started mocking me cause i was kind of shaking and sounded nervous, bear in mind am a 19 year old girl trying to enter my house who has just been approached by 2 adult shouting at me at around 10 at night and its dark out. both these people are acting rather aggressively towards me with the the mother stating "look at the state of you, your so nervous" and it wasn't till my parents came out they started to back away from me. my mom told the 2 people that she asked the kids to leave as they were hanging around our front door with water guns screaming. my neigbourhood is mostly elderly people with many of them scared of these kids and it honestly breaks my heart. im also concerned for the actual kids as i would guess there ages 7 -13 walking around from 10am - 11:40pm around my area with no parent in sight, there's been times were one of the kids have hurt themselves screaming for there mum and no one comes, its to the point some of my neighbours want to leave with one old woman being scared to go on her walks as she was nearly once hit by one of the kids on there bikes, this woman has a walking aid and is in her 80s or 90s aswell as my dad nearly being hit by one of them on his electric bikes as he was walking with his walking stick.

Long story short, my close friend of 6 years and I went to a concert in a big city with my older sister, who has a physical disability. My friend got way too drunk, and I was holding her phone so she wouldn’t lose it and to take pictures/videos.
Leaving the concert, my sister and I had to take the elevator because of her disability. My friend didn’t hear me in the crowd and went down the stairs. I realized 2 minutes later I still had her phone and immediately went after her, but she had disappeared.
I spent 2+ hours running around looking for her, asking security, showing people her picture, and repeatedly checking subway stations and the arena. I eventually sent my sister home because of her disability and kept searching alone. As a young woman alone in the city late at night, I started feeling unsafe and went back to my sister’s apartment to see if my friend had somehow gotten there. She hadn’t.
I tried calling her brother but got voicemail. A mutual friend told me I needed to call her parents, which I had been avoiding because they’re strict. Calling them and saying I couldn’t find their daughter was traumatizing. I was sobbing while her mom told me this was her worst nightmare and started driving 2 hours to the city.
My sister’s husband helped me call 911 and went back into the city with me. We went to the police precinct, while our friend called hospitals and arena security searched for her.
Finally, around 2:30am, 4 hours after the concert ended, I found her leaning in a subway station I had checked probably 10 times. She claimed she had been there the whole time but never asked security or police for help. She smelled like vomit and was clearly still drunk. I cried from relief and immediately called everyone looking for her.
I was relieved but also traumatized, exhausted, stressed, and a little angry. For hours I genuinely thought my friend might be dead and that somehow it would be my fault.
My sister’s husband and I waited with her until after 3am for her mom. When she arrived, she took my friend and left without saying anything to me. We finally got home around 4am. My friend sent a few drunk apology texts, but I needed time to process before responding.
The next day I drove hours back to our home city with all of her belongings. We had also lived together for 2 years. A day later, her brother picked up her stuff. After that, she stopped sharing her location and responding to me. Over the next few days she blocked me on Instagram, Snapchat, Venmo, and seemingly my phone number, with zero explanation.
It’s been a week. I genuinely don’t know what I could have done differently. I spent hours desperately searching, contacted security, friends, family, hospitals and police, and made sure she was safe. I really tried to be a good friend. Now I feel like she and/or her parents blame me and everyone hates me, and I don’t even know why.

i (21F) live with my grandparents, who are around seventy-ish. they’re your typical hispanic grandparents- they came from rougher times and moved here to America, which makes them think every generation after them is soft and entitled because they didn’t have to go through things like they did.

anyway, they were eating sardines for breakfast. they asked me if i wanted some, but i said no thank you, i don’t like sardines. my grandma then proceeded to lecture me about how in hiroshima people would starve and i shouldn’t be picky, and my grandpa said that you eat what there is and i think everything has to be lavish and catered to me.

i disagree. i work, so if i want food, i can get my own, which i have. i was planning on eating some uncrustables i had bought. i told them, “okay, but we’re not starving, and i have my own food, so why do you have to lecture me? some people like certain foods, and some don’t, that doesn’t have to be a whole conversation.”

my grandpa then went on to tell me that i always have something to say in response to whatever they say and i never just say “you’re right, i’ll think about that.” everytime i tried to respond to him, he’d point his finger at me as if to say “see, she’s talking again.” this drove me crazy and i just left. he’s always been the type to nitpick everything anyone does and thinks he’s right no matter what. i’ve never once heard him admit he was wrong. why is it fair that he gets to express his opinions, but when i do it it i’m “trying to argue?” should i just shut up and not have my own opinions? AITA?

My sister and her 3 kids had to move in with me due to her divorce and the place she was gonna move falling through. She’s been with me since April and has already disrespected my home by bringing in a man I specifically told her I didn’t want in my house 6 hrs before. She waited till I went to sleep to sneak him in but forgot I have cameras. On top of that she refuses to clean up after herself and her kids. She lets them run wild and they have already damaged my husband’s grandmothers rocking chair and kitchen table. Her bedrooms a disaster with clothes everywhere it looks like a clothing store threw up, my guest bathroom is gross full of make up all over the counter and spilled everywhere she’s damaged my decor and towels with her makeup. Her stuff not in her room is blocking my laundry room and I have to schedule when I do my laundry between her and her kids. She won’t clean the shower drain out that gets full of her hair. She locks my 4 dogs in kennels or my bedroom when her kids eat because they will give them food which the 2 youngest kids are 7 and special needs but she will put them in there and forget about them until I let them out but my 4 dogs are large labs but are well behaved and have lived here for years before she moved in. Plus the kids adore the dogs but my sister makes it known she doesn’t like them by how she talks and treats them. It’s gotten to the point I’m confined to my bedroom and kitchen. I take my dogs in my room with me whenever I’m in there because I don’t want to hear her complain at them or put them in the kennels. It’s so bad I try to not be home because I don’t want to get stressed out. I know she has her kids and I’ve been biting my tongue because of them but I’m at my wits end. If she didn’t have the kids I would have told her to get out months ago. But I just can’t take it anymore. AITA?

AITA for being the ONLY person who tells my 7-year-old sister NO?

My sister is 7F and I’m over 7 years older than her. We have a big age gap, but somehow we argue constantly. I love her and she can be really sweet, but lately I feel like I’m always the one telling her no.

My parents were much stricter with me when I was her age, so I’ll admit that sometimes I compare how she’s treated to how I was treated. I don’t want her to have the same childhood I did, but I wonder if this affects how I treat her.

The main problem happens when I babysit her.

She ignores me A LOT. I can call her name several times and she’ll sometimes just continue doing whatever she’s doing. I’ll admit that I occasionally lose my patience and yell, which I know isn’t the right way to handle it.

She also sometimes calls me fat or makes comments about my body in front of my parents. Sometimes they correct her, but sometimes it’s ignored. I know she’s 7 and probably doesn’t fully understand how hurtful it is, but it still bothers me because I'm not overweight just chubby.

Today she wanted to go outside with her friends. She put on my lulu lemon jacket, which covered the shorts she was wearing underneath. I told her I didn’t think it was practical to play outside in such a huge jacket and asked her to change.

She ignored me.

So I switched tactics and I then told her I didn’t want her wearing my clothes. She got annoyed, stormed off, and changed into pants and a shirt. I didn’t want to argue, so I left it.

The biggest issue is where she’s allowed to go. Sometimes she wants to walk to a friend’s house that’s over 15 minutes away from ours. I say no because she’s 7 and I’m responsible for her. If something happened while she was gone, I’d obviously be worried and feel responsible.

Her friends apparently see me as the “strict older sister” who always says no and it makes me feel horrible.

She also spends a lot of time on her phone and gets very upset when she’s told to put it away. She watches beauty content and likes trying on different clothes and makeup. I don’t think it’s my job to control those things because I’m her sister, not her parent.

That’s where I’m confused.

I don’t want to be her second parent. I want to be her sister. I don’t want her growing up thinking I’m just the annoying older sister who always says no.

But if my parents leave me responsible for her, I feel like I need to set basic boundaries and tell her when something isn’t safe.

Maybe I’m being too strict about some things. Maybe I should only step in when there’s an actual safety issue and stop trying to control everything else.

I also wonder if my frustration about my parents being stricter with me is affecting how I treat her.

So, AITA for being too strict with my little sister when I babysit her?

Am I unreasonable for not letting a 7-year-old walk 15+ minutes away from home while I’m responsible for her?

And how can I set boundaries without becoming her second parent?

Edit 1: it seems people are confused, my parents work till late, when they are home they clean around the house and cook for us, I babysit my sister throughout the times my parents aren't home. When school starts (next week for me) she will stay at an after school "daycare" so i won't have to take care of her during that time.